on 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 

GIFT  OF 
DR.  AND  MRS.  ELMER  BELT 


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DONATION   BY 


DR.  AND  MRS.  ELMER   BELT 


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iaemortals  of 
AGNES  ELIZABETH  JONES 


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UNA  AND  HER  PAUPERS:" 

BY   HER   SISTER. 

WITH   AN   INTRODUCTION    BY 

FLORENCE  NIGHTINGALE. 

FIRST  AMERICAN  FROM  THE  SECOND  LONDON  EDITION. 


WITH  AN  INTRODUCTORY  PREFACE  BY  THE 

Rev.  henry  WARD   BEECHER. 


AND  A   SUPPLEMENTARY    CHAPTER    ON    HOSPITAL    NURSING    AND 
TRAINING   IN   THE   UNITED   STATES,    BY  THE  AUTHOR   OF 

"woman's  work  in  the  civil  war." 


r?<^>j^/^ 


GEORGE  ROUTLEDGE  AND  SONS, 

416  BROOME  STREET,   NEW  YORK. 
1872. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1872,  by 

GEO.  ROUTLEDGE  &  SONS, 

In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  at  Washington. 


Poole  &  Maclauchlan,   Printers, 
205-313  East  Twelfth  Street, 


AC 
CONTENTS. 


♦ 

INTRODUCTORY  PREFACE,  BY  REV.  HENRY  WARD 

BEECHER vii 

INTRODUCTION,    BY    FLORENCE    NIGHTINGALE    .       .     xiv 

CHAPTEB    1. 

EARLY    LIFE I 

CHAPTER     II. 
FAHAN 4-5 

CHAPTER    HI. 

KAISERSWERTH  •••••. 99 

CHAPTER   IV. 

LONDON 192 

CHAPTER  V. 

HOSPITAL    TRAINING     .       •      o •       '•    24I 

CHAPTER   VI. 

LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE        •••••«..   28j 


VI  CONTENTS. 


APPENDIX— (A.) 

PAGS 

ANOTHER    GONE    BEFORE 413 

LETTER     FROM     MISS     MYLES     TO     MISS     JONES'S 

AUNT 429 

APPENDIX— (B.) 

KAISERSWERTH,  THE    TRAINING-SCHOOL    OF    FLO- 
RENCE   NIGHTINGALE 435 


APPENDIX— (C.) 


HOSPITAL  TRAINING  AND  NURSING  IN  THE 
UNITED  STATES.  BY  THE  AMERICAN  EDI- 
TOR      471 


INTRODUCTORY  PREFACE. 

By  Rev.  HENRY  WARD  BEECHER. 


If  any  one  shall  come  to  this  life  of  Agnes 
E.  Jones,  expecting  to  find  a  highly  wrought 
narrative,  or  any  incidents  in  the  least  de- 
gree romantic,  they  will  be  disappointed. 
Yet  there  are  few  memoirs  better  calculated 
to  produce  a  profound  impression  upon  all 
who  are  susceptible  to  the  exhibition  of 
remarkable  Christian  excellence.  It  is  one 
of  the  few  books  which  renders  piety  at- 
tractive. 

Miss  Jones  died  when  but  thirty-five 
years  of  age,  of  a  fever  contracted  in  the 
hospital   service  of  the   Liverpool  Work- 


INTRODUCTORY    PREFACE. 


house,  of  which  she  was  the  Female  Su- 
perintendent. But  in  these  few  years  she 
had  developed  a  nature,  and  performed 
labors,  which,  important  as  they  were  to 
those  immediately  concerned,  are  destined 
to  produce  a  far  wider  effect  upon  the  edu- 
cation of  women  to  benevolent  labors. 

The  testimony  of  Florence  Nightingale 
is  interesting,  and  the  biographical  work 
of  Miss  Jones's  sister  has  been  judiciously 
performed  ;  but  the  chief  interest  of  the 
work  will  be  found  in  the  letters  and  jour- 
nals of  Miss  Jones  herself. 

She  early  felt  that  she  had  a  vocation. 
No  poet  or  painter  ever  felt  within  them 
the  dim  prophecy  of  their  destiny  in  life 
more  distinctly  than  did  this  refined  and 
delicate  woman.  She  was  called  to  the 
work  of  nursing  and  of  training  nurses. 
That  which  is  usually  repulsive,  and  to  the 
most  benevolent  a  self-denying  duty,  she 


INTRODUCTORY    PREFACE.  IX 

felt  called  to,  as  the  most  desirable  occu- 
pation of  life.  To  look  after  the  poor  in 
Fahan,  her  early  home,  to  nurse  the  sick, 
may  be  said  to  have  been  a  passion  from 
her  childhood.  It  was  not  the  example  of 
one  whose  life  had  been  overcast,  whose 
choices  had  been  defeated,  and  who  be- 
took herself  to  works  of  mercy  as  a  last 
resort.  It  was  her  early  dream.  It  was 
her  aspiration  from  childhood.  She  was 
a  born  genius,  and  mercy  was  the  sphere 
of  its  action. 

Hers  was  not  a  sentimental  dream,  full 
of  imaginative  notions,  which  the  first  touch 
of  life  would  destroy,  as  the  morning  sun 
melts  the  exquisite  frost  pictures  which 
night  draws  upon  our  window-panes.  She 
knew  what  the  reality  was.  vShe  loved  the 
thin  or  itself  She  formed  the  highest  esti- 
mate  of  its  requirements,  and  then,  as  reso- 
lutely as  ever  a  scholar  pursued  his  educa- 


INTRODUCTORY    PREFACE. 


tion,  or  artist  put  himself  in  training,  did 
she  set  herself  to  a  laborious  course  of 
preparation.  She  went  to  Kaiserswerth, 
in  Germany,  to  a  training  institution ; 
thence  to  London,  to  missionary  work 
among  the  poor;  then  to  St.  Thomas's 
Hospital  as  a  common  nurse ;  then  to  a 
small  hospital  as  manager.  After  years  of 
experience,  she  consented,  but  with  great 
diffidence,  to  assume  the  responsible  posi- 
tion of  Superintendent  in  the  Liverpool 
Workhouse,  having  the  care  of  from  twelve 
to  fifteen  hundred  persons. 

We  have  abundant  evidence  from  her 
writings  of  her  profound  piety.  Her  heart 
flowed  out  toward  God  with  singular  con- 
stancy and  affectionate  trust.  But  toward 
men  it  manifested  itself,  not  in  rigor,  ' 
ascetic  fidelity,  or  in  vigorous  exhortation. 
She  was  joyous  company,  and  loved  what- 
ever was  gay  and  cheerful.     She  had  a 


INTRODUCTORY    PREFACE.  XI 


keen  sense  of  humour,  and  refreshed  her- 
self after  severe  labours  by  betaking  her- 
self to  loving  households  where  she  could 
freely  indulge  her  ardent  affections. 

Her  letters  do  not  show  such  imagina- 
tion as  goes  with  a  poet,  but  her  sensi- 
bility to  natural  scenery,  her  enthusiastic 
love  of  flowers,  and  the  effect  produced 
upon  her,  in  her  hospital  life,  from  the 
presence  of  ferns,  blossoms,  leaves,  or 
whatever  grew  kindly  under  the  sun, 
shows  that  she  had  a  poet's  insight  of 
nature,  if  she  had  not  a  poet's  constructive 
gifts. 

With  youth,  health,  culture,  and  suffi- 
cient wealth,  she  left  her  home,  loved  as 
only  she  could  love  it,  to  become  a  menial 
servant  in  a  foreign  training-school,  a  com- 
mon nurse  in  London,  that  she  might  pre- 
pare herself  to  train  nurses  for  the  sick 
and  poor.    The  alacrity,  the  eagerness,  the 


XU  INTRODUCTORY    PREFACE. 

very  gladness  with  which  she  met  every 
experience,  even  the  most  repugnant, 
was  the  very  spirit  of  her  great  Master, 
"  Who,  /o7'  the  joy  that  was  set  before 
Him,  endured  the  cross,  despising  the. 
shame." 

Such  an  example  of  simplicity,  cheerful- 
ness, calm  fidelity,  intense  activity,  such 
gentleness  and  diffidence,  in  one  so  clear- 
minded  and  so  invincibly  firm  in  purposes 
once  formed,  such  lovingncss  and  lova- 
bleness,  such  gayety  playing  over  the  sur- 
face of  intense  earnestness,  presents  an 
admirable  type  of  Christian  character,  and 
cannot  but  produce  a  powerful  influence 
on  all  who  read  it. 

It  may  not  be  the  duty  of  every  unmar- 
ried woman  to  follow  in  the  footsteps  of 
Florence  Nightingale  ;  but  at  a  time  when 
so  many  feel  the  irksomeness  of  a  com- 
paratively inactive  life,  it  may  be  that  not 


INTRODUCTORY   PREFACE.  Xlil 

a  few,  especially  in  our  large  cities,  will 
seriously  consider  whether  they  have  not 
a  vocation  to  care  for  the  sick  and  poor,  or 
whether  their  cultivated  powers  can  be 
turned  to  anything  more  Christlike  than 
to  train  nurses  and  teachers  for  the  service 
of  the  unfortunate. 

''  For  ye  know  the  grace  of  our  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,  that  though  He  was  rich, 
yet  for  your  sakes  He  became  poor, 
that  ye  through  His  poverty  might  be 
rich." 


INTRODUCTION. 

BY      FLORENCE      NIGHTINGALE. 


One  woman  has  died — a  woman^  attrac- 
tive and  rich,  and  young  and  witty ;  yet  a 
veiled  and  silent  woman,  distinguished  by  no 
other  genius  but  the  divine  genius — working 
hard  to  train  herself  in  order  to  train  others 
to  walk  in  the  footsteps  of  Him  who  went 
about  doing  good.  To  follow  Him,  she 
spent  herself  in  activity ;  she  overworked  be- 
cause others  underwork.  Shall  we  let  her 
have  died  in  vain  ? 

She  died,  as  she  had  lived,  at  her  post,  in 
one  of  the  largest  workhouse  infirmaries  in 


INTRODUCTION.  XV 


this  kingdom — the  first  in  which  trained 
nursing  has  been  introduced.  She  is  the 
pioneer  of  workhouse  nursing.  I  do  not 
give  her  name !  were  she  ahve,  she  would 
bep;  me  not.  Of  all  human  beings  I  have 
ever  known,  she  was  (I  was  about  to  say)  the 
most  free  from  desire  of  the  praise  of  men. 
But  I  cannot  say — most  free;  for  she  was  per- 
fectly free.  She  was  absolutely  without 
human  vanity  ;  she  preferred  being  unknown 
to  all  but  God  ;  she  did  not  let  her  right 
hand  know  what  her  left  hand  did.  I  will, 
therefore,  call  her  Una,  if  you  please  ;  for, 
when  her  whole  life  and  image  rise  before 
me,,  so  far  from  thinking  the  story  of  Una 
and  her  lion  a  myth,  I  say  here  is  Una  in 
real  flesh  and  blood — Una  and  her  paupers, 
far  more  untameable  than  lions. 

The  graceful,  tender  legends  of  Catholic 
saints  and  martyrs  (why  call  them  Roman 
Catholic  ?)   have  not  a  greater  miracle  than 


INTRODUCTION. 


we  have  here  in  the  flesh.  She  lived  the  life, 
and  died  the  death,  of  the  saints  and  martyrs; 
though  the  greatest  sinner  would  not  havx 
been  more  surprised  than  she  to  have  heard 
this  said  of  herself.  In  less  than  three  years 
she  had  reduced  one  of  the  most  disorderly 
hospital  populations  in  the  world  to  some- 
thing like  Christian  discipline,  such  as  the 
police  themselves  wondered  at.  She  had 
led,  so  as  to  be  of  one  mind  and  heart  with 
her,  upwards  of  fifty  nurses  and  probationers; 
of  whom  the  faithful  few  whom  she  took  with 
her  of  our  trained  nurses  were  but  a  seed. 
She  had  converted  a  vestry  to  the  convic- 
tion of  the  economy  as  well  as  humanity  of 
nursing  pauper  sick  by  trained  nurses, — the 
first  instance  of  the  kind  in  England  ;  for 
vestries,  of  whom  she  had  almost  the  most 
enlightened,  the  most  Uberal  body  of  men  in 
England  to  support  her,  must  look  after  the 
pockets    of  their  ratepayers  as  well  as   the 


INTRODUCTION.  XVll 


benefit  of  their  sick.  But,  indeed,  the  super- 
stition seems  now  to  be  exploding  that  to 
neglect  sick  paupers  is  the  way  to  keep  down 
pauperism.  She  had  converted  the  Poor- 
Law  Board— a  body,  perhaps,  not  usually 
given  to  much  enthusiasm  about  Unas  and 
paupers — to  these  views ;  two  of  whom  bore 
v/itness  to  this  effect. 

She  had  disarmed  all  opposition,  all  sec- 
tarian zealotism  ;  so  that  Roman  Catholic 
and  Unitarian,  High  Church  and  Low 
Church,  all  literally  rose  up  and  called  her 
"  blessed."  Churchwardens  led  the  way  in 
ti^e  vestry-meeting  which  was  held  in  her 
1  onour  after  her  death  ;  and  really  affecting 
speeches,  made  while  moving  the  resolution 
of  condolence  (no  mere  form)  to  her  family, 
were  the  tribute  to  her  public  service.  All, 
of  all  shades  of  religious  creed,  seemed  to 
have  merged  their  differences  in  her,  seeing 
in  her  the  one  true  essential  thing,  compared 


INTRODUCTION. 


with  which  they  acknowledged  their  dif- 
ferences to  be  as  nothing.  And  aged  paupers 
made  verses  in  her  honour  after  her  death. 

In  less  than  three  years — the  time  generally 
given  to  the  ministry  on  earth  of  that  Saviour 
whom  she  so  earnestly  strove  closely  to  fol- 
low— she  did  all  this.  She  had  the  graceful- 
ness^  the  wit,  the  unfailing  cheerfulness — 
quaUties  so  remarkable  but  so  much  over- 
locked  in  our  Saviour's  life.  She  had  the 
aisence  of  all  asceticism,  or  "mortification/* 
for  mortification's  sake,  which  characterized 
His  work,  and  any  real  work  in  the  present 
day  as  in  His  day.  And  how  did  she  do  all 
this  ?  She  was  not,  when  a  girl,  of  any  con- 
spicuous abihty,  except  that  she  had  culti- 
vated in  herself  to  the  utmost  a  power  of 
getting  through  business  in  a  short  time, 
without  slurring  it  over  and  without  fid-fad- 
ding  at  it ;  real  business — her  Father's  busi- 
ness.    She  was  always  filled  with  the  thought 


INTRODUCTION.  XIX 


that  she  must  be  about  her  ''  Father's  busi- 
ness." How  can  any  undervakie  business- 
habits  ?  as  if  anything  could  be  done  with- 
out them.  She  could  do,  and  she  did  do, 
more  of  her  Father's  business  in  six  hours 
than  ordinary  women  do  in  six  months,  or 
than  most  of  even  the  best  women  do  in  six 
days.  But,  besides  this  and  including  this, 
she  had  trained  herself  to  the  utmost — she 
was  always  training  herself;  for  this  is  no 
holiday  work.  Nursing  is  an  art ;  and,  if  it 
is  to  be  made  an  art,  requires  as  exclusive  a 
devotion,  as  hard  a  preparation,  as  any 
painter's  or  sculptor's  work  ;  for  what  is  the 
having  to  do  with  dead  canvas  or  cold  marble, 
compared  with  having  to  do  with  the  living 
body — the  temple  of  God's  spirit?  It  is 
one  of  the  Fine  Arts  ;  I  had  almost  said,  the 
finest  of  the  Fine  Arts.  I  have  seen  some- 
where in  print  that  nursing  is  a  profession  to 
be    followed    by    the    "lower  middle-class." 


INTRODUCTION. 


Shall  we  say  that  painting  or  sculpture  is  a 
profession  to  be  followed  by  the  *' lower 
middle-class  "  ?  Why  limit  the  class  at  dl  ? 
Or  shall  we  say  that  God  is  only  to  be  served 
in  His  sick  by  the  "  lower  middle-class  "  : 
The  poorest  child  without  shoes,  the  most 
highly-born,  have  alike  followed  all  these 
professions  with  success,  have  alike  had  to 
undergo  the  hardest  work,  if  for  success. 
There  is  no  such  thing  as  amateur  art;  there 
is  no  such  thing  as  amateur  nursing.* 

*  It  appears  to  be  the  most  futile  of  all  distinctions 
to  classify  as  between  '^  paid"  and  unpaid  art,  so  between 
"paid"  and  unpaid  nursing — to  make  into  a  test  a 
circumstance  as  adventitious  as  whether  the  hair  is  black 
or  brown,  viz.,  whether  people  have  private  means  or 
not,  whether  they  are  obliged  or  not  to  work  at  the'r 
art  or  their  nursing  for  a  livelihood.  Probably  no 
person  ever  did  that  well  wdiich  he  did  only  for  money. 
Certainly  no  person  ever  did  that  well  wdiich  he  did 
not  work  at  as  hard  as  if  he  did  it  solely  for  money.  If 
by  amateurs  in  art  or  in  nursing  are  meant  those  who 
take  it  up  for  play,  it  is  not  art  at  all,  it  is  not  nursing 


INTRODUCTION.  XXI 


I  return  to  the  training  which  this  servant 
of  God  gave  herself. 

Before  she  came  to  us  she  had  been  at 
Kaiserswerth,  and  already  knew  more  than 
most  hospital  matrons  know  when  they 
undertake  matronship.  She  was  some  time 
with  the  Bible  Women  in  London.  Over- 
done with  cares  and  business,  I  had  lost 
sight  of  her,  when  I  was  taken  by  surprise 
at  hearing  from  our  training-school  at  St. 
Thomas's  Hospital  that  she  had  asked  for 
admittance  there  to  have  a  year's  training,  a 
step  entirely  unprompted  by  us.  She  told 
me  afterw^ards  that  she  felt,  when  she  had 
entered  there,  as  if  she  knew  nothing. 
While  there  she  went  through  all  the  train- 
ing of  a  nurse.  Her  reports  of  cases  were 
admirable  as  to  nursing  details.  She  was 
our  best  pupil;    she  went  through  all  the 

at  all.     You  never  yet  made  an  artist  by  paying  him 
well.     But — an  artist  ought  to  be  well  paid. 


xxn  INTRODUCTION. 


work  of  a  soldier ;  and  she  thereby  fitted 
herself  for  being  the  best  general  we  ever 
had. 

Many  a  time,  in  her  after  hfe  at  the  work- 
house, she  wrote^  that  without  her  training 
at  St.  Thomas's  Hospital  she  could  have 
done  nothing.  Unless  a  superintendent 
herself  knows  what  the  nurses  she  has  to 
superintend  ought  to  do,  she  is  always  at  a 
loss.  She  is  never  sure  of  her  work.  She 
must  be  herself  the  measure  of  their  work. 
In  a  workhouse,  she  said,  this  must  be  pre- 
eminently the  case — more  even  than  in  a 
hospital — because  on  a  workhouse-infirmary 
matron  fall  many  more  of  the  decisions  as 
to  petty  miedical  matters  than  on  a  London 
hospital  matron,  where  the  medical  and 
surgical  staff  are  much  more  numerous  and 
constant. 

"  Without  a  regular  hard  London  hospital 
training  I  should  have  been  '  nowhere,' "  she 
used  to  say. 


INTRODUCTION.  XXIU 


She  was  fond  of  telling  her  obligations  to 
our  admirable  matron  at  St.  Thomas's  Hos- 
pital. I  need,  however,  but  to  recall  one 
thing.  This  very  year  that  she  was  taken 
from  us  she  had  intended  to  have  "  two 
months  more  training"  at  St.  Thomas's 
Hospital  as  soon  as  she  could  safely  take  "  a 
holiday" — (what  a  holiday!) — after  three 
weeks  with  her  dear  mother  and  sister.  She 
said  she  should  learn  "  so  much  "  now,  hav- 
ing won  her  experience,  if  she  had  "  a  little 
more  training." 

Dear  fellow  country-women,  if  any  of  you 
are  unwilling  to  leave  a  loved  and  happy 
home,  if  any  of  you  are  unwilling  to  give  up 
a  beloved  daughter  or  sister,  know  that  this 
servant  of  God  had  a  home  as  fair  and  happy 
as  any,  which  she  loved  beyond  all  created 
things,  ahd  that  her  mother  and  sister  gave 
her  up  to  do  God's  w^ork.  Upon  the  awful 
character  of  that  sacrifice  I  cannot  speak. 
They  "  gave  her"  (and  it)  "  to  God." 


INTRODUCTION. 


I  will  return  to  her  work  at  the  workhouse. 
How  did  she  do  it  all  ?  She  did  it  simply 
by  the  manifestation  of  the  hfe  which  was  in 
her — the  trained,  well-ordered  hfe  of  doing 
her  Father's  business — so  different  from  the 
governing,  the  ordering  about,  the  driving 
principle.  And  everybody  recognized  it — • 
the  paupers,  and  the  vestry,  and  the  nurses, 
and  the  Poor-Law  Board.  As  for  the  nurses 
(those  who  understood  her),  her  influence 
with  them  was  unbounded.  They  w^ould 
have  died  for  her.  Because  they  always  felt 
that  she  cared  for  them,  not  merely  as 
instruments  of  the  work,  but  for  each  one  in 
herself;  not  because  she  wished  for  popu- 
larity or  praise  among  them,  but  solely  for 
their  own  well-being.  She  had  no  care  for 
praise  in  her  at  all.  But  (or  rather  because 
of  this)  she  had  a  greater  power  of  carrying 
her  followers  with  her  than  any  woman  (or 
man)  I  ever  knew.     And  she  never  seemed 


INTRODUCTION.  XXV 


to  know,  that  she  was  doing  anything  re- 
markable. 

It  seems  unnatural  that  I  should  be  writ- 
ing her  "  In  Memoriam,"  I  who  have  been 
a  prisoner  to  my  room  from  illness  for  years, 
and  she  so  full  of  health  and  vigour  till 
almost  the  last.  Within  sixteen  days  of  her 
death  I  received  a  letter  from  her,  full  of  all 
her  own  energy  about  workhouse  affairs,  and 
mentioning  her  illness,  which  had  begun, 
but  bidding  me  "  not  be  anxious."  But  this 
is  not  an  ^'  In  Memoriam,"  it  is  a  war-cry — - 
a  war-cry  such  as  she  would  have  bid  me 
write ;  a  cry  for  successors  to  fill  her  plaec 
to  fill  up  the  ranks. 

Oh,  fellow  country-women,  why  do  you 
hang  back  ?  Why  are  there  so  few  of  you?. 
We  hear  so  much  of  "  idle  hands  and  unsa- 
tisfied hearts,"  and  nowhere  more  than  in 
England.  All  England  is  ringing  with  the 
cry  for  ''Women's  Work"  and  "Women's 


XXVI  INTRODUCTION. 

Mission."  Why  are  there  so  few  to  do  the 
"  work  ?"  We  used  to  hear  of  people  giving 
their  blood  for  their  country.  Since  when 
is  it  that  they  only  give  their  ink  ?  We  now 
have  in  England  this  most  extraordinary 
state  of  things — England,  who  is,  or  thinks 
herself,  the  most  religious  and  the  most 
commercial  country  in  the  world.  New 
hospitals,  new  asylums,  new  nurses'  homes, 
arid  societies  for  nursing  the  sick  poor  at 
home,  are  rising  everywhere.  People  are 
always  willing  to  give  their  money  for  these. 
The  Poor-Law  Board,  the  Boards  of  Guar- 
dians, are  willing,  or  compelled,  to  spend 
money  for  separate  asylums  for  workhouse 
sick.  An  Act  was  passed  last  year  for  the 
metropoUs  to  this  effect.  It  is  proposed  to 
extend  it  to  the  whole  country.  This  Act, 
akhough  miserably  inadequate,  still  inaugu- 
rates a  new  order  of  things,  viz.,  that  the 
workhouse    sick    shall    not    be   workhouse 


INTRODUCTION.  XXVU 


inmates,  not  be  cared  for  as  mere  workhouse 
inmates,  but  that  they  shall  be  poor  sick, 
cared  for  as  sick  who  are  to  be  cured,  if 
possible,  and  treated  as  becomes  a  Christian 
country,  if  they  cannot  be  cured.  But  are 
buildings  all  that  are  necessary  to  take  care 
of  the  sick  ?  There  wants  the  heart  and  the 
hand — the  trained  and  skilful  hand.  Every 
workhouse  and  other  hospital  in  the  king- 
dom ought  to  be  nursed  by  such  hands  and 
such  hearts.  Tell  me,  does  not  this  seem 
like  a  truism  ? 

What  we  mean  by  challenging  England, 
if  she  is  the  most  religious  and  the  most 
commercial  country  in  the  world,  to  do  this 
work,  is  this :  We  do  not  say,  as  in  Roman 
Catholic  countries,  the  test  of  fitness  to  serve 
God  in  this  way  is  whether  he  has  given  you 
private  means  sufficient  to  do  it  without  pay. 
We  say :  the  test  is,  whether  you  will  be 
trained  so  as  to  command  the  highest  pay. 


XXVlll  INTRODUCTION. 


May  we  not  hope  that  in  this  country  our 
Lord,  were  He  to  come  again,  would  say, 
instead  of  "Ye  cannot  serve  God  and  Mam- 
mon,"— Ye  can  by  serving  God  command 
that  mammon  necessary  for  the  workers 
who  must  also  eat — themselves  and  their 
families. 

Let  the  religious  motive  be  so  strong  that 
it  will  enable  you  to  train  yourself  so  as  to 
earn  the  highest  pay  for  the  best  work.  The 
pay  is  offered ;  it  is  the  trained  workers  we 
cannot  find  to  be  paid. 

Thirty  years  ago,  if  a  girl  wished  for 
training,  there  was  none  to  be  had.  I  can 
truly  say  there  was  no  training  to  be  had  to 
fit  a  woman  thoroughly  for  any  life  whatever. 
Now  the  training  is  offered,  there 'are  but 
few  to  take  it. 

We  do  not  say,  as  vv^.s  said  to  women 
in  my  day,  Look  about  you,  and  see 
if  you  can   catch  painfully  a  few  straws  of 


INTRODUCTION.  XXIX 


practical  experience  or  knowledge  in  the 
wind.  We  are  not  now  inviting  women  to 
a  life,  without  being  able  to  show— Here  is 
the  training  all  ready,  if  you  choose  to  have 
it — here  is  an  independent  and  well-paid 
calling  wanting  to  receive  you  when  you 
leave  your  training,  if  only  you  have  fitted 
yourselves  for  it.  I  might  say  more  than 
this ;  I  might  say  w^e  are  beset  with  offers  of 
places  for  trained  nurses  afid  trained  superin- 
tendents, and  we  cannot  fill  them.  I  would 
I  could  go  out  into  the  highways  and  hedges, 
and  compel  them  to  come  in.  How  often  I 
have  known  Pastor  Fliedner,  of  Kaiserswerth, 
(he  is  now  gone  to  his  glorious  rest,)  say, 
when  thus  pressed  by  calls  from  pastors,  and 
from  directors  of  institutions,  out  of  all  parts 
of  Germany,  "  You  ask  me  for  deaconesses. 
Has  your  district  furnished  us  with  any 
probationers  ?  No  ;  not  one.  Then,  am  I 
to  give  you  the  finished  article,  and  you  not 


INTRODUCTION. 


to  give  me  the  live  material  r  Am  I  to  raise 
deaconesses  out  of  the  ground  by  a  stamp  of 
the  foot  ?"  That  is  what  we,  alas !  feel  often 
inclined  to  say  when  we  are  pressed  from  all 
parts  of  Her  Majesty's  dominions,  colonies 
included,  in  that  great  empire  "  upon  which 
the  sun  never  sets." 

I  have  spoken  chiefly  of  workhouse  hos- 
pitals, and  their  want  of  trained  nurses  and 
trained  superintendents,  because  I  had  to 
describe  the  work  of  her  who  was  the  first 
to  try  to  fill  the  deep  yawning  chasm,  but 
not,  Hke  Curtius,  to  close  it  up — and  because 
it  seemed  the  most  crying  want.  But  why 
do  I  call  it  so  ?  To  answer  the  calls  upon 
us  for  trained  matrons  or  superintendents, 
as  well  as  for  trained  nurses,  for  hospitals, 
and  nursing  institutions  of  all  kinds,  we  can 
scarcely  obtain  anything  like  sufficient  living 
materials.  By  all  who  have  really  laboured 
in  these   and  similar  fields  the  same  tale  is 


INTRODUCTION.  XXXI 


told.  People  cry  out  and  deplore  the  unre- 
munerative  employment  for  women.  The 
true  want  is  the  other  way.  Women  really 
trained,  and  capable  for  good  work,  can 
command  any  wages  or  salaries.  We  can't 
get  the  women.  The  remunerative  employ- 
ment is  there,  and  in  plenty.  The  want  is 
the  women  fit  to  take  it. 

It  is  wonderful  (to  return  to  our  own  case 
of  the  hospitals)  the  absence  of  thought 
which  exists  upon  this  point.  As  if  a 
woman  could  undertake  hospital  manage- 
ment, or  the  management  of  a  single  ward — • 
in  which,  more  than  anything  else,  hundreds, 
or  even  thousands,  of  lives  are  involved — ■ 
without  having  learnt  anything  about  it,  any 
more  than  a  man  can  undertake  to  be,  for 
example,  professor  of  mathematics  without 
having  learnt  mathematics ! 

It  is  time  to  come  to  the  dry  bones  of  the 
affair  after  having  shown    how  beautifully 


XXXll  INTRODUCTION. 

these  could  be  clothed  in  flesh  and  blood. 
We  admit  at  St.  Thomas's  Hospital  Training 
School  ^ — subject  to  the  judgment   of  the 

*  Writers  on  sick  nursing  have  repudiated  training, 
without  saying  .what  training  is.  I  perceive  that  I  have 
used  the  word  '^training"  a  great  many  times.  And 
neither  have  I  said  what  it  is. 

We  require  that  a  woman  be  sober,  honest,  truth- 
ful, without  which  there  is  no  foundation  on  which  to 
build. 

We  train  then  in  habits  of  punctuality,  quietness, 
trustworthiness,  personal  neatness.  We'  teach  her  how 
to  manage  the  concerns  of  a  large  ward  or  establish- 
ment. 

We  train  her  in  dressing  wounds  and  other  injuries, 
and  in  performing  all  those  minor  operations  which 
nurses  are  called  upon  day  and  night  to  undertake 

We  teach  her  how  to  manage  helpless  patients  in 
regard  to  moving,  changing,  feeding,  temperature,  and 
the  prevention  of  bed-sores. 

She  has  to  make  and  apply  bandages,  line  splints 
for  fractures,  and  the  like,  She  must  know  how  to 
ir.ake  beds  with  as  little  disturbance  as  possible  to  their 
inmates.  She  is  instructed  how  to  wait  at  operations, 
and   as  to  the  kind  of  aid  the  surgeon   requires    at  her 


NTRODUCTION  XXXlll 


matron,  and  subject  to  certain  conditions 
being  accepted  or  fulfilled  by  the  probationer 
— a  limited   number  of  probationers  to  be 

hands.  She  is  taught  cooking  for  sick  ;  the  principles 
on  which  sick-wards  ougiit  to  be  cleansed,  aired,  and 
warmed  ;  the  management  of  convalescentS3  and  how 
to  observe  sick  and  maimed  patients,  so  as  to  give  an 
intelhgent  and  truthful  account  to  the  physic^ian  or 
surgeon  in  regard  to  the  progress  of  cases  in  the 
intervals  between  visits — a  much  more  difficult  thing 
than  is  generally  supposed. 

We  do  not  seek  to  make  "  medical  women,"  but 
simply  nurses  acquainted  with  the  principles  which 
tliey  are  required  constantly  to  apply  at  the  bed- 
side. 

For  the  future  superintendent  is  added  a  course  of 
instruction  in  the  administration  of  a  hospital,  including, 
of  course,  the  linen  arrangements,  and  what  else  is 
necessary  for  a  matron  to  be  conversant  with. 

There  are  those  who  think  that  all  this  is  intuitive  in 
women,  that  they  are  born  so,  or,  at  least,  that  it  comes 
to  them  without  training.  To  such  we  say.  By  all 
means  send  us  as  many  such  geniuses  as  you  can,  for 
we  are  sorely  in  want  of  them. 

The  regulations  and  previous  information  required 


XXXIV  INTRODUCTION. 


trained  as  nurses  for  the  sick  poor.  Hither- 
to we  have  been  compelled  to  confine  our- 
selves to  sending  out  staffs  of  nurses  to 
hospitals  or  workhouses,  with  a  view  to 
their  becoming,  in  their  turn,  centres  of 
training,  because  the  applications  Vv^e  receive 
for  trained  nurses  are  far  more  numerous  and 
urgent  than  we  have  power  to  answer.  But 
did  a  greater  number  of  probationers,  suit- 
able for  superior  situations,  ofier  themselves, 
we  could  provide  additional  means  for  train- 
ing, and  answer  applications  for  district 
nurses,  and  many  others.  These  pro- 
bationers receive  board,  lodging,  training 
entirely  free,  a  certain  amount  of  uniform 
dress,  and  a  small  amount  of  pay  during 
their  year  of  training. 

may  be  obtained  by  writing  to  the  Secretary  of  the 
Nightingale  Fund,  H.  Bonham-Carter,  Esq.,  91, 
Gloucester  Terrace,  Hyde  Park,  London,  W. 

Before  admission,  personal  application  should  be  made 
to  Mrs.  Wardroper,  St.  Thomas's  Hospital,  Newington, 
Surrey,  S.E. 


NTRODUCTION.  XXXV 


For  the  efficiency,  comfort,  and  success  of 
a  nursing  staff  thus  sent  ojat  it  is,  of  course, 
essential  that  the  trained  nurses  should  not 
go  without  the  trained  superintendent,  nor 
the  trained  superintendent  without  the 
trained  nurses. 

There  are  two  requisites  in  a  superinten- 
dent:—  I.  Character  and  business  capacity. 
2.  Training  and  knowledge.  Without  the 
second,  the  first  is  of  little  avail.  Without 
the  first,  the  second  is  only  partially  useful ; 
for  we  cannot  bring  out  of  a  person  what  is 
not  in  her.  We  can  only  become  respon- 
sible for  the  training.  The  other  qualifications 
can  only  be  known  by  trial.  Now  to  take  su- 
perintendents or  head  nurses,  as  is  done  every 
day,  by  receiving  and  comparing  of  testi- 
monials (not  a  day's  Times  but  shows  this 
process  in  the  vast  majority  of  institutions) — 
this  is  hardly  more  to  the  purpose  than  to 
do  as  the  Romans  did,  when  they  determined 


INTRODUCTION. 


the   course  of  conduct  they  should  take  by 
seeing  whether  there  were  a  flight  of  crows. 

The  future  superintendent  would  be  a 
great  deal  the  better  for  two  years  of  training 
for  so  difficult  and  responsible  a  post.  But 
such  are  the  calls  upon  us  that  we  can  often 
give  her  scarcely  one. 

If  the  lady,  in  training  for  a  superintendent, 
can  pay  for  her  own  board,  it  is,  of  course, 
right  that  she  should  do  so  (everything  else  is, 
in  all  cases,  given  free).  At  the  present  time 
we  are  able  to  admit  a  few  gentlewomen  free 
of  all  expense,  and  with  the  small  salary 
above  mentioned  during  the  year  of  training. 
We  have  applications  from  institutions  in 
want  of  trained  superintendents  (or  matrons), 
and  trained  head  nurses  for  hospitals  in 
India  and  in  England,  and  for  a  large  work- 
house infirmary. 

In  December  we  sent  to  New  South 
Wales,  by  desire  of  the  government  there, 
which  defrayed  and  assumed  all  expenses,  to 


INTRODUCTION.  XXXVII 


take  charge  of  the  Sydney  Infirmary  and  to 
found  a  future  training-school  for  the  colony, 
five  trained  nurses  and  a  trained  lady  super- 
intendent.* 

I  give  a  quarter  of  a  century's  European 
experience  when  I  say  that  the  happiest 
people,  the  fondest  of  their  occupation,  the 
most    thankful    for    their    lives,  are,  in    my 

*■  The  engagement  was  for  three  years.  First-class 
passages  out,  all  paid. 

The  pay  now  usually  given  in  English  hospitals  for 
trained  nurses  is  from  .5^20  to  ^30  a  year,  with  every- 
thing "  found  j"  for  hospital,  i.e.  ward  '^sisters,"  in 
some  London  hospitals  ^50,  with  like  advantages  ; 
and  for  matrons  or  superintendents  in  provincial 
hospitals  from  s£6o  to  ,^100,  with  board  and 
lodging. 

The  salaries  given  to  the  nursing  staff  sent  to  Sydney 
were  on  a  more  liberal  scale. 

A  wing  is  being  added  to  the  infirmary  of  Sydney 
for  the  accommodation  of  the  future  superintendent, 
nurses,  and  probationers,  the  most  complete  and 
costly  thing  which  has  ever  been  erected  for  a  nursing 
statF,  and  which  puts  to  shame  our  London  hospital 
in  this  respect. 


XXXVlll  INTRODUCTION. 


opinion,  those  engaged  in  sick  nursing.  In 
my  opinion,  it  is  a  mere  abuse  of  words  to 
represent  the  life,  as  is  done  by  some,  as  a 
sacrifice  and  a  miartyrdom.  But  there  have 
been  martyrs  in  it.  The  founders  and 
pioneers  of  almost  everything  that  is  best 
must  be  martyrs.  But  these  are  the  last 
ever  to  think  themselves  so.  And  for  all 
there  must  be  constant  self-sacrifice  for  the 
o-ood  of  all.  But  the  distinction  is  this — • 
the  life  is  not  a  sacrifice  ;  it  is  the  engaging 
in  an  occupation  the  happiest  of  any.  But 
the  strong,  the  healthy  wills  in  any  life  must 
determine  to  pursue  the  common  good  at 
any  personal  cost — at  daily  sacrifice.  And  we 
must  not  think  that  any  fit  of  enthusiasm 
will  carry  us  through  such  a  life  as  this. 
Nothing  but  the  feeUngthat  it  is  God's  work 
more  than  ours — that  w^e  are  seeking  His 
success  and  not  our  success — and  that  we 
have  trained  and  fitted  ourselves  by  every 


INTRODUCTION.  XXXIX 

means  which  He  has  granted  us  to  carry  out 
His  work,  will  enable  us  to  go  on. 

Three-fourths  of  the  whole  mischief  in 
w^omen's  lives  arises  from  their  excepting 
themselves  from  the  rules  of  training  con- 
sidered needful  for  men. 

And  even  with  this  thorough  training,  we 
shall  have  many  moments  of  doubt,  of  dread, 
of  discouragement.  But  yet  the  very  pres- 
sure of  the  work,  of  which  the  cares  are  so 
heavy,  prevents  us  from  having  time  to  dwell 
on  them. 

The  work  has  great  consolations.  It  has 
also  great  disappointments,  like  every  other 
noble  work  where  you  aim  high ;  and  if 
there  has  been  one  thing  expressed  to  me 
more  often  and  more  strongly  by  her  we 
have  lost,  it  is  what  I  have  tried  to  say 
above. 

I  must  end  as  I  have  begun,  with  my 
Una. 


Xl  INTRODUCTION. 


I  cannot  say  in  my  weak  words,  what  she 
used  to  tell  as  to  her  questionings :  ^^  Shall 
I  be  able  ever  to  meet  the  dreariness,  the 
disappointments,  the  isolation?"  And  the 
answer,  "  Not  in  my  own  strength,  but  in 
His ;  not  for  my  work's  sake,  but  for  His.'* 
"  My  grace  is  sufficient  for  thee.  My  strength 
is  made  perfect  in  thy  weakness."  That 
answer  of  God  to  St.  Paul,  she  realized  in 
her  daily  life  more  than  any  one  I  ever 
knew 

She  was  peculiarly  sensitive  to  little  acts 
and  words  of  kindness,  and  also  of  unkind- 
ness ;  and  if  a  nosegay,  a  friendly  letter  came 
to  her  in  her  times  of  overwork  and  dis- 
couragement, she  would  take  it  exactly  as  if 
it  had  been  sent  her  by  her  Father  Himself. 
^'  I  do  not  say  to  Him,  Give  success,''  she 
once  said  ;  "  if  all  fails  to  human  eyes,  if  I 
do  nothing,  ^  not  my  way,  but  His  be  done ; 
not  as  I  will,  but  as  Thou  wilt.' " 

C 


INTRODUCTION.  x]i 


More  completely  and  unreservedly  than 
any  one  I  ever  knew,  she  gave  herself:  *'  Be- 
hold the  handmaid  of  the  Lord,  be  it  unto 
me  according  to  thy  word." 

And  it  was  so.  What  she  went  through 
during  her  workhouse  life  is  scarcely  known 
but  to  God  and  to  one  or  two.  Yet  she  said 
that  she  had  "  never  been  so  happy  in  all  her 
life." 

All  the  last  winter  she  had  under  her 
charge  above  50  nurses  and  probationers, 
above  150  pauper  scourers,  from  1,290  to 
1,350  patients,  being  from  two  to  three 
hundred  more  than  the  number  of  beds.  All 
this  she  had  to  provide  for  and  arrange  for, 
often  receiving  an  influx  of  patients  without 
a  moment's  warning,  She  had  to  manage 
and  persuade  the  patients  to  sleep  three  and 
four  in  two  beds ;  sometimes  six,  or  even 
eight  children  had  to  be  put  in  one  bed  ; 
and  being  asked  on  one  occasion  whether 


xlii  INTRODUCTION. 


they  did  not  "kick  one  another,"  they 
answered,  "  Oh,  no,  ma'am,  we're  so  com- 
for  ble."  Poor  httle  things !  they  scarcely 
remembered  ever  to  have  slept  in  a  bed 
before.  But  this  is  not  the  usual  run  of 
workhouse  patients.  Among  them  are  the 
worn-out  old  prostitutes,  the  worn-out  old 
thieves,  the  worn-out  old  drunkards. 

Part  of  the  w^ork  in  workhouses  is  to  see 
that  the  dissolute  and  desperate  old  sinners 
do  not  corrupt  the  younger  women,  fallen, 
but  not  hopeless ;  to  persuade  the  deliriinn 
tremens  case,  wandering  about  in  his  shirt,  to 
go  back  quietly  into  his  ward  and  his  bed. 
Part  of  the  work  is  to  see  that  the  mothers 
of  the  sick  children  do  not  quarrel,  ay,  and 
fight,  and  steal  the  food  of  one  another's 
children. 

These  are  among  the  every-day  incidents 
of  workhouse  life.  And,  if  any  one  would 
know  what  are  the  lowest  depths  of  human 


INTRODUCTION.  xliii 


vice  and  misery,  would  see  the  festering  mass 
of  decay  of  living  human  bodies  and  human 
souls,  and  then  would  try  what  one  loving 
soul,  filled  with  the  spirit  of  her  God,  can  do 
to  let  in  the  light  of  God  into  this  hideous 
well  (worse  than  the  well  of  Cawnpore),  to 
b"nd  up  the  wounds,  to  heal  the  broken- 
hearted, to  bring  release  to  the  captives — let 
her  study  the  ways,  and  follow  in  the  steps 
of  this  one  young,  frail  woman,  who  has  died 
to  show  us  the  way — blessed  in  her  death  as 
in  her  life. 

If  anything  ought  to  nerve  the  official 
crowd  of  the  Poor-Law  Board,  and  us  women 
on  the  non-official  side,  to  resolve  on  fighting 
this  holy  crusade,  until  all  the  sick  poor  of 
these  kingdoms  are  cared  for  as  children  of 
God,  it  is  surely  the  fact  that  so  precious  a 
life  has  been  sacrificed  in  discharging  a  duty 
which,  if  the  country  had  recognised  it  as  a 
duty,  ought  to  have  been  unnecessary  after 
three  centuries  of  a  Poor  Law. 


xliv  INTRODUCTION. 


The  last  words  spoken  to  her  were^  "  You 
will  soon  be  with  your  Saviour."  Her  reply 
was,  "  I  shall  be  well  there."  And  so  she 
passed  away.  In  her  coffin  she  had  that 
listening,  beaming  expression,  peculiar  to 
her  in  life,  as  if  always  hearkening  to  the 
Master's  bidding — in  death,  as  if  hearing  the 
words,  ^^ Enter  thou  into  the  joy  of  thy  Lord." 

Years  of  previous  action  had  prepared  this 
young  girl  for  her  hfe  of  devotion.  Her 
body  was  taken  back  to  her  own  people,  to 
be  buried  in  her  father's  vault. 

All  the  old  folks  went  out  to  meet  her — 
old  men  and  women  of  near  ninety  years  of 
age  who  could  scarcely  move  on  crutches. 
The  young  men  who  had  been  her  own 
scholars  in  her  big  boys'  evening  class,  went 
a  distance  to  meet  the  funeral,  and  carried  in 
the  coffin  themselves.  The  school-children 
and  school-mistresses  gathered  primroses  and 
snowdrops  and  violets  from  all  the  country 


INTRODUCTION.  xlv 


round,  and  brought  these,  and  yew  and  ivy 
from  the  garden  which  she  had  planted  for 
them  herself.  The  whole  district  seemed  to 
be  there — at  the  grave  of  their  dear  one. 
But  the  hush  of  solemn  silence  was  so  great 
that  they  could  hear  the  fall  of  the  violets 
on  the  coffin.  The  grave  was  surrounded, 
first  by  rows  of  school-children — behind 
them,  on  one  side  the  young  vs'omen,  on  the 
other  the  young  men  of  her  Bible  classes— 
and  behind  these  again  the  elder  women  and 
men  with  whom  she  had  read  and  prayed. 
She  lay,  after  the  service,  completely  strewn 
over  with  primroses  and  snowdrops  showered 
upon  her  coffin.  After  all  was  over  the 
school-children  and  mistresses  sent  a  messag-e 
to  her  poor  sick  paupers,  that  they  would  be 
glad  to  hear  that  their  kind  friend  had  been 
as  gently  laid  in  her  grave  as  an  infant  laid 
to  rest  in  its  mother's  arms. 

It  is  proposed  to  erect  on  the  spot  where 


Xlvd  INTRODUCTION. 


she  died  perhaps  the  grandest  religious  statue 
ever  sculptured  by  mortal  hands — Tenerani's 
Angel  of  the  Resurrection  —  as  a  fitting 
memorial  of  her  work,  and  a  type  of  the 
hope  to  come.  Shall  we  not  also  build  up 
living  statues  to  her?  Let  us  add  living 
flowers  to  her  grave,  'Milies  with  full  hands," 
— not  fleeting  primroses,  not  dying  flowers. 
Let  us  bring  the  work  of  our  hands,  and  oui 
heads,  and  our  hearts,  to  finish  her  work 
which  God  has  so  blessed.  Let  her  not 
merely  "  rest  in  peace,"  but  let  hers  be  the 
life  which  stirs  up  to  fight  the  good  fight 
against  vice  and  sin,  and  misery  and  wretch- 
edness, as  she  did — the  call  to  arms,  which 
she  was  ever  obeying : 

"The  Son  of  God  goes  forth  to  war^ 
Who  follows  in  His  train  ?'* 

O  daughters  of  God,  are  there  so  few  to 
answer? 

FLORENCE   NIGHTINGALE. 


CHAPTER  L 

EARLY    LIFE. 

"  Now  in  thy  youth  beseech  of  Him 

Who  giveth  upbraiding  not, 
That  His  light  in  thy  heart  become  not  dim 

And  His  love  be  unforgot; 
And  thy  God  in  thy  darkest  days  shall  be 
Greenness  and  beauty  and  strength  to  thee." 

THE  use  of  biography,  and  especially  Chris- 
tian biography,  is  often  questioned,  and  to 
some  minds  there  is  little  if  any  interest  in 
tracing  the  history  of  a  life  that  has  passed 
away,  except  as  it  is  recorded  in  the  work 
accomplished  and  the  mark  left  upon  the  age. 
But  there  are  others  for  whom  this  little  book 
is  specially  intended, — friends  who  knew  and 
loved  the  subject  of  this  memoir,  who  will  read 
with  tender  affection  the  story  of  her  early  life, 
and  trace  the  leadings  of  God's  hand  in  every 
step  of  the  path  she  trod ;  and  others  who  did 
not  know  her,  but  to  whom   the    life  of  any 

B 


EARLY     LIFE. 


Christian  woman — loving,  tender,  brave,  and 
earnest  as  this  woman  was — will  have  no  small 
interest.  For  these  we  have  traced  dimly  and 
most  imperfectly,  not  a  cold  form  of  marble 
beauty,  but  a  portrait  of  real  life  in  the  quiet  of 
the  domestic  circle,  in  the  unexciting  duties  of 
a  remote  country  parish,  in  the  crowded  courts 
and  alleys  of  London,  and  in  the  wards  of  city 
hospitals,  ever  seeking  to  do  her  Father's  busi- 
ness and  to  please  Him  in  all  things. 

My  sister,  Agnes  Elizabeth  Jones,  was  born 
at  Cambridge,  November  the  loth,  1832,  our 
father,  who  was  Lieutenant-Colonel  of  the  12th 
regiment,  having  been  ordered  there  a  few  days 
previously.  Our  mother's  eldest  sister,  who 
was  present  at  her  birth,  and  who  alone  of  all 
her  relatives  was  with  her  in  her  last  moments, 
writes  of  this  time  : — **  When  the  tiny  creature 
made  her  unexpected  appearance  there  was  but 
little  hope  of  a  vigorous  life  ;  her  father  was 
absent  with  his  regiment,  which  had  been  sud- 
denly ordered  off  to  some  town  where  disturb- 
ances were  feared,  and  on  his  return  his  tender 
heart  was  much  touched  by  the  sight  of  the 


EARLY    LIFE. 


fragile  little  beini^ :  he  had  faint  expectation  of 
her  surviving,  and  ardently  desired  that  she 
should  be  baptized,  which  was  done  privately 
by  the  Rev.  C.  Simeon's  curate  ;  she  was  after- 
wards received  into  the  Church  at  Portsmouth, 
where  the  regiment  next  proceeded.  She  had 
many  infantine  illnesses,  and  continued  very 
delicate  until  she  was  nearly  two  years  old, 
when  she  was  taken  on  a  visit  to  Ireland,  the 
native  country  of  both  her  parents,  and  at  her 
maternal  grandfather's  spent  several  months, 
growing  healthy  and  strong  in  the  pure  coun- 
try air.  She  was  now  a  very  pretty  child,  with 
that  brightness  of  eye  which  was  ever  one  of  her 
most  striking  features,  sunny  curling  hair,  and 
a  light  dancing  step,  full  of  joyous  life.  At 
this  time  she  was  occasionally  violently  pas- 
sionate, but  at  no  later  period  can  any  instance 
of  this  be  remembered." 

On  the  i2th  August,  1837, -sve  sailed  with  my 
father's  regiment  from  Cork  for  I^Iauritius. 
The  six  years  spent  there  were  very  happy  ones 
to  the  bright  little  child,  and  vivid  men\ories 
would  often  arise  in  alter  years  of  the  birthday 

D  3 


EARLY    LIFE. 


excursions  to  the  Pampelmousse  gardens,  where 
many  beautiful  palm-trees  and  rare  tropical 
plants  grew  in  native  luxuriance,  and  of  the 
pleasant  months  spent  by  the  seaside  at  Mahe- 
bourg,  where  wonderful  shells  with  rosy  tints 
and  pearly  lining  were  now  and  then  the  prize 
of  the  eager  searcher.  Even  at  this  time  the 
love  of  nature  was  one  of  her  characteristics. 
I  remember,  on  one  of  those  long  happy  days 
at  the  botanical  gardens,  her  rapture  at  finding 
a  skeleton  leaf,  whose  delicate  tracery  seemed 
to  her  eye,  with  its  quick  perception  of  the 
beautiful,  a  most  marvellous  treasure.  Long 
afterwards  she  would  recall  the  scenery  of  the 
island  with  a  distinctness  which  proved  how 
deep  an  impression  its  southern  loveliness  had 
left  on  her  memory.  And  meanwhile,  circum- 
stances were  moulding  her  character  for  the 
steadfastness  of  self-consecration  which  in  after 
life  distinguished  her.  No  recollection  of  those 
early  days  comes  back  to  me  so  often  as  her 
pleasure  in  accompanying  our  parents  to  the 
Bible  readings  held  at  the  house  of  the  French 
pastor;  Monsieur  Le  Brun.     Some  years  after- 


EARLY    LIFE. 


wards  she  wrote,  *'I  think  my  first  real  concern 
for  my  soul  was  awakenecf  by  the  closing  sen- 
tence of  young  M.  Le  Brun's  sermon,  one 
week-day  evening.  *  And  now,  brethren,  if  you 
cannot  answer  me,  how  will  you,  at  the  last 
day,  answer  the  Great  Searcher  of  hearts  ?' 
This  sentence  haunted  me  night  and  day  for 
some  time." 

Here,  too,  she  became  interested  in  the 
Madagascar  Christians,  then  suffering  cruel 
persecutions  for  conscience'  sake.  Some  of 
them  took  refuge  at  Mauritius,  and  her  delight 
at  being  taken  to  visit  them  was  very  great. 
At  M.  Le  Brun's  she  heard  much  of  those  still 
undergoing  oppression  and  torture,  letters  being 
often  received  from  Mr.  Johns  and  his  wife. 
From  this  time  a  desire  for  missionary  work 
took  possession  of  her  mind.  The  extreme 
reserve  of  her  disposition  prevented  this 
being  generally  known,  but  from  the  time  she 
was  seven  years  old  the  dream  of  her  life  was 
to  be  one  day  a  missionary.  The  wish,  as  she 
then  formed  it,  for  work  among  the  heathen 
was  never  granted,  but  truly  her  whole  life  was 


EARLY    LIFE. 


a  missionary  work.  In  a  paper  of  recollections 
of  her  early  childhood  she  writes,  "I  remember 
always  having  great  love  for  any  one  I  thought 
one  of  God's  children.  I  loved  going  to  church 
and  listening  to  serious  conversation.  I  was 
very  fond  of  Mr.  Banks  and  Mr.  Fitzgerald 
because  I  thought  they  were  true  Christians." 

In  1843  our  father's  health  obliged  him  to 
return  to  England,  and  not  long  after  he  left 
the  army.  The  voyage  home  was  a  time  of 
great  enjoyment  to  us  children,  though  from 
many  circumstances  it  was  very  uncomfortable 
for  our  parents.  A  storm  that  was  encountered 
a  few  days  before  entering  the  English  Channel 
caused  the  lives  of  all  on  board  to  be  in  peril 
for  some  hours,  but  we  were  unconscious  of  the 
danger  and  enjoyed  the  unusual  scene — the 
dead  lights  in, — lamps  burning  all  day  in  the 
darkened  cabin,  and  furniture  and  boxes  slip- 
ping from  side  to  side  as  the  vessel  rolled 
heavily.  At  last  the  storm  moderated,  and 
holding  our  father's  hand,  we  were  allowed  to 
venture  on  deck.  At  that  moment  an  upturned 
boat  was  drifted  past  on  a  huge  green  wave, 


EARLY    LIFE. 


which  curled  over  as  if  it  would  engulf  the 
vessel.  For  the  first  time  we  seemed  to  realize 
what  danger  we  had  been  in,  and  returned, 
silent  and  awed,  to  our  mother's  side.  A  fev/ 
days  later  the  pilot,  who  came  on  board  off 
Land's  End,  brought  English  papers,  one  of 
which  contained  a  graphic  account  of  a  ship- 
wreck that  had  taken  place  in  that  very  storm. 
My  father  read  this  to  us,  and  then  asked  us 
very  solemnly  where  should  we  have  been  had 
not  God  in  His  mercy  spared  our  vessel  when 
others  were  lost.  The  question  struck  home  to 
our  hearts,  and  that  evening  both,  with  many 
tears  and  earnest  prayers,  desired  to  choose 
God  as  our  portion.  The  impression  then  made 
appeared  transient,  but  the  feelings  excited 
never  wholly  died  away.  It  was  the  first  call, 
which  in  loving  mercy  was  repeated  again  and 
again  until  the  wandering  heart  turned  to  its 
only  true  rest  in  the  love  of  the  Redeemer. 

The  voyage  was  over,  and  English  sights  and 
sounds  excited  wonder  and  delight  in  us  child- 
ren, to  whom  everything  was  new.  We  went 
almost  immediately  to  my  grandfather's  country 


EARLY     LIFE. 


home  in  the  north  of  Ireland.  I  seem  to  see 
Agnes  now,  as  she  bounded  along  the  lanes, 
the  day  of  our  arrival  at  Ardmore,  filling  her 
little  basket  with  violets  and  primroses, — new 
flowers  to  her  then,  but  which  had  ever  a  pecu- 
liar charm  for  her.  Our  dear  mother  was 
greatly  exhausted  by  the  climate  of  Mauritius, 
and  for  a  long  time  was  in  very  delicate  health. 
This  prevented  her  continuing  the  care  of  our 
education,  which  had  hitherto  been  entirely  in 
her  hands.  About  this  time  a  phrenologist, 
who  was  passing  through  the  neighbourhood, 
examined  Agnes's  head,  and,  after  doing  so,  said 
to  her,  "  Take  care,  my  little  lady  ;  this  strong 
will  of  yours  may  lead  you  into  great  faults." 
On  my  mother  questioning  him  further,  he 
said,  *'  Don't  be  uneasy,  religion  and  love  to 
her  parents  will  be  the  ruling  principles  of  her 
life."  And,  indeed,  it  was  so,  for,  notwith- 
standing the  extraordinary  power  of  will  which 
enabled  her  in  after  years  to  deny  herself  and 
control  others  in  such  a  wonderful  way,  there 
was  never,  after  early  infancy,  the  slightest  op- 
position of  her  will  to  that  of  her  parents.     Yet 


EARLY    LIFE. 


instances  were  not  wanting  in  her  childhood  to 
show  her  strength  of  resolve  and  her  determi- 
nation in  carrying  out  a  purpose  once  formed. 
Two  examples  of  this  may  be  given. — at  Mau- 
ritius, when  she  was  about  eight  years  old,  a 
friend  sent  her  a  present  of  a  young  kangaroo 
from  Australia ;  an  enclosure  was  made  for  it 
in  the  garden,  and  Agnes  delighted  to  feed  and 
visit  it  daily.  One  day  as  she  opened  the  gate 
it  escaped  and  bounded  off  into  our  neighbour's 
plantation.  Agnes  followed,  fearing  it  might 
do  mischief,  climbed  over  the  low  wall  which 
separated  the  two  gardens,  and,  after  a  long 
chase,  succeeded  in  capturing  the  fugitive ; 
some  minutes  afterwards  my  mother  came  into 
the  garden,  and  was  horror-struck  to  see  her 
returning  from  the  pursuit,  the  kangaroo,  which 
she  held  bravely  by  its  ears,  struggling  wildly 
for  freedom  and  tearing  at  her  with  its  hind 
feet,  while  her  dress  was  streaming  with  blood 
from  the  wounds  inflicted  by  its  nails.  Mamma 
called  to  her  to  let  it  go,  but  she  would  not  do 
so  until  she  got  it  safely  into  its  house,  although 
it  was  many  a  long  day  before  she   lost   the 


10  EARLY    LIFE, 


marks  of  her  battle  and  victory.  Another  in- 
stance of  the  same  fixed  resolve,  whatever  she 
might  have  to  suffer  in  carrying  it  out,  occurred 
some  years  later  when  she  was  about  fourteen. 
My  father  was  extremely  fond  of  music,  and 
very  anxious  that  we  should  play  well.  Agnes 
had  no  taste  for  it,  and  it  cost  her  much  trouble 
to  learn  the  simplest  air.  Knowing  how  much_ 
my  father  wished  her  to  improve,  she  gave  it 
her  undivided  attention,  and  laboured  painfully 
to  conquer  the  difficulty.  At  last  she  had 
mastered  a  piece  sufficiently  to  play  it  before 
company,  and  one  evening  when  a  few  friends 
were  with  us,  she  was  told  to  get  her  music  ; 
she  did  so,  and,  by  a  strong  effort  of  will, 
overcame  her  nervousness  and  played  the 
piece  through  without  a  mistake.  She  then 
left  the  room  without  saying  anything,  and 
soon  afterwards  was  found  upstairs  by  one  of 
the  servants  in  violent  hysterics.  Had  her 
teachers  understood  her  character  and  the 
strength  of  her  affectionate  nature,  much  of  the 
trial  of  the  few  years  succeeding  our  return 
from   Mauritius  would  have  been  spared   her. 


EARLY    LIFE.  II 


Our  first  governess  was  good  and  kind,  but  ?ier 
successors  were  sac'ly  stern  and  unsympathiz- 
ing.  The  change  from  our  mother's  gentle 
rule,  which  had  m?.de  learning  a  delight ;  the 
continual  repression  of  everything  like  gladness 
by  the  severe  regi:ne  of  the  schoolroom ;  the 
unvaried  round  of  lessons  made  as  unattractive 
as  possible ;  and,  most  of  all,  the  want  of  love 
and  encouragement, — all  told  on  her  sensitive 
and  most  reserved  disposition.  She  was  by  no 
means  a  precocious  child,  and  had  learned  to 
read  with  the  greatest  difficulty;  indeed,  her 
character  and  her  faculties  developed  slowly, 
and  some  of  her  teachers  thought  her  almost 
deficient  in  mental  power.  The  greater  part  of 
the  four  years  after  our  return  to  Ireland  was 
spent  at  Fahan  House,  a  small  but  very  lovely 
spot  on  the  banks  of  Lough  Swilly.  We  all 
became  much  attached  to  this  sweet  home ; 
but  Agnes,  especially,  ever  clung  to  it  with  the 
deepest  affection.  It  lies  nestled  among  trees 
at  the  foot  of  wild  heath-covered  hills,  the 
waters  of  the  blue  lake  rippling  up  to  the  lOOt 
of  the   lawn,  and   then  stretching  out  to  the 


12  EARLY    LIFE. 


grey  hills  at  the  other  side.  Every  variety  of 
scenery  is  combined  in  the  little  nook, — bare 
rocky  mountains,  which  seem  to  bid  defiance  to 
the  advance  of  cultivation,  subsiding  at  their 
base  into  sunny  cornfields  or  soft  stretches  of 
waving  flax ;  wooded  park-like  domains,  and 
bleak  stony  patches,  alternating  on  the  banks 
of  that  lovely  lough,  so  appropriately  called 
*'  The  Lake  of  Shadows,"  while  here  and  there 
the  blue  smoke  rises  from  isolated  cottages 
which  dot  the  landscape  all  along  the  winding 
shore. 

Perhaps  this  is  the  least  interesting,  as  it 
certainly  was  the  least  happy  time  of  dear 
Agnes's  life;  outwardly  she  seemed  to  grow 
stupid  and  callous,  taking  no  interest  in  her 
studies,  and  of  the  inner  life  we  can  find  no 
record,  save  in  a  fragment  of  journal  among 
her  later  papers. 

"Nov.  loth,  1846. — To-day  I  am  fourteen. 
When  I  look  back  at  the  past  year,  I  see  no- 
thing but  sin,  depravity,  and  unhappiness.  I 
only  feel  that  I  have  improved  in  music.  This 
morning  I  made  many  good  resolutions ;  1  fear 


EARLY     LIFE. 


13 


too  much  in  my  own  strength,  for  in  the  course 
of  the  day  I  broke  them  all. 

^' Nov.  iiih. — Awoke  and  wept  at  having 
broken  my  resolutions." 

These  and  such-like  passages  of  her  early 
journals  have  deeply  impressed  me  with  the 
thought  that  the  tenderness  of  a  child's  con- 
science is  seldom  realized  by  those  who  en- 
deavour to  guide  and  direct  it.  May  it  not  be 
that  we  sometimes  lay  a  burden  too  heavy  to 
be  borne  on  young  hearts,  because  we  judge 
them  by  our  own,  which  have  grown  hardened 
by  contact  with  the  world  and  its  ways  ?  Some 
there  assuredly  are,  whose  hearts  should  be 
rather  trained  to  look  up  with  loving  trust  than 
to  look  into  themselves  for  faults  which  they 
mourn  over  in  vain  while  they  struggle  to 
amend  in  their  own  strength.  And  Agnes  had 
a  peculiarly  sensitive  conscience;  the  smallest 
fault  she  magnified  into  a  sin,  and  grieved  for 
it  accordingly.  Then  from  her  reserve,  and  the 
power  she  had  of  concealing  her  emotion,  no 
one  knew  of  this  hidden  lilc,  so  that  she  had 
not  the  help  she  might  have  had.     Yet   this, 


14  EARLY    LIFE. 


doubtless,  was  not  in  vain :  in  those  heart- 
struggles,  seen  only  by  the  Eye  of  Love,  who 
w^atches  over  all ;  in  the  lonely  weeping  for 
shortcomings  and  failures ;  in  the  earnest  reso- 
lutions, renewed  as  often  as  broken,  we  may 
trace  the  mouldings  of  the  character  to  be  de- 
veloped in  after  days.  The  early  and  the  latter 
rain,  the  sunshine  and  the  shower,  were  bring- 
ing out  the  latent  beauty  of  the  young  plant 
which  was  hereafter  to  bear  good  fruit. 

In  January,  1848,  we  were  sent  to  the  Miss 
Ainsworths'  school,  at  Avonbank,  Stratford-on- 
Avon.  The  change  from  the  extreme  severity 
of  our  governesses'  rule  to  the  pleasant  cheerful 
work  of  this  admirably-managed  school,  was 
soon  felt,  and  the  beneficial  effects  w^ere  seen  in 
the  advance  made  in  study.  Agnes,  especially, 
needed  affectionate  and  gentle  guiding;  her 
mental  powers  were  as  yet  almost  dormant. 
Kind  and  judicious  discipline,  combined  with 
the  stimulus  of  example  and  the  encouragement 
of  merited  approbation,  soon  showed  that  her 
former  teachers  had  been  mistaken  in  their 
judgment  of  her  capacity.     She  now  became 


EARLY     LIFE.  15 


remarkable  among  her  companions  for  steady 
application  and  earnest  desire  for  improvement. 
She  was  less  popular  than  many  others,  be- 
cause her  mind  was  more  set  on  advance  in  her 
studies  than  on  amusement,  and  she  required 
to  give  time  and  close  attention  to  learn  what 
some  could  master  rapidly ;  but  then,  what 
she  once  learned  was  her  own  for  ever,  and 
years  afterwards  she  would  be  ready  with  the 
date  of  an  historical  event  or  the  definition  of 
some  abstract  term  which  I  had  long  ago  for- 
gotten. Her  ardent  affectionate  nature  was 
drawn  out  in  warmest  love  to  Miss  Harriet 
Ainsworth,  who,  perhaps,  never  realized  all  the 
gratitude  she  had  called  forth  in  the  enthusi- 
astic young  Irish  girl,  who  now,  for  the  first 
time,  felt  her  powers  brought  into  action,  and 
her  efforts  to  please  appreciated. 

After  two  years  and  three  months  at  school, 
my  father,  whose  health  had  suddenly  broken 
down  in  the  autumn,  was  called  away  from 
earth  on  the  19th  March,  1850.  We  were 
summoned  home,  but  arrived  some  hours  too 
late.     I  had  no  idea  ot  Agnes's  passionate  love 


l6  •  EARLY    LIFE. 


for  her  father  until  I  read  her  papers  and  jour- 
nals, in  which  such  constant  reference  is  made 
to  him,  to  what  he  was  to  her  in  life,  and 
what  his  memory  ever  continued  to  be  to 
her. 

She  writes  in  1856  :— ''  Sunday  is  a  day  of 
many  memories  of  my  dear  father ;  it  seems  to 
me  especially  his.  Perhaps  the  seeing  most  of 
him  on  that  day  made  me  first  love  Sunday; 
but  I  always  much  enjoyed  going  to  church. 
At  Mahebourg  his  service  for  the  soldiers,  then 
our  crossing  the  river  and  evening  worship  in  a 
solitary  place.  I  could  iind  these  spots  now, 
after  all  these  years ;  then  standing  by  his  side 
in  the  corner  of  the  verandah,  the  moonlight 
vStreaming  down  upon  us,  learning  and  repeat- 
ing or  hearing  his  hymns,  and  looking  up  to 
that  dear  face  where  was  such  holy  love,  joy, 
and  peace,  and  the  tears  often  as  he  repeated, 
'  See  from  His  head.  His  hands,  His  feet,'  etc., 
or  joined  in  the  responses  and  singing  in  church. 
Oh,  how  I  worshipped  him  !  Then  the  fre- 
quent hearing  of  his  earnest  prayers  through 
the  closed  door  of  his  dressing-room,  impressed 


EARLY    LIFE. 


17 


me  deeply.  His  last  words  as  he  parted  with 
us  at  Leamington  some  months  before  his 
death,  were  such  a  heartfelt  *  God  bless  you!' 
I  remember  how  their  solemnity  thrilled  me : 
he  felt  what  we  little  guessed  that  our  next 
look  on  that  dear  countenance  would  be  when 
it  was  stiffened  in  death.  I  did  not  then  gaze 
on  it  as  I  would  now  I  had  done,  for  the  shock 
of  my  first  view  of  death  as  the  follower  of  a 
long  illness,  made  me  less  mindful  at  the  time 
of  the  sweet,  peaceful,  happy,  loving  look,  which 
showed  how  death  was  to  him  robbed  of  its 
sting.  But  it  was  the  first  realization  of  or- 
phanhood, and  I  feared  to  ask  permission  to 
return,  dreading  to  hear  it  was  too  late." 

From  this  time  Agnes's  character  developed 
more  rapidly,  especially  in  its  simple,  unselfish, 
devotion  to  others.  She  seemed  to  feel  herself 
responsible  for  their  comfort  and  happiness, 
and  her  mother,  sister,  and  brother  were  the 
objects  of  a  watchful  care,  which  was  ever 
ready  to  minister  to  them  at  any  sacrifice  of 
her  own  ease  and  pleasure.  Childish  things 
were   laid    aside,   and   a   certain    maturity   of 

c 


l8  EARLY    LIFE. 


thought  and  feeling  was  perceptible.  An  out- 
side observer  might  have  deemed  that  her 
Christian  course  was  not  yet  begun,  and  as  we 
look  at  the  fair  flower  which  later  burst  into 
such  w^ondrous  blossom,  we  seem  to  marvel 
whence  it  came  and  how  it  grew :  no  human 
eye  saw  the  seed  sown  or  watched  the  stem 
rise  inch  by  inch,  until  the  bud  appeared ;  but 
we  believe  that  from  very  early  childhood,  her 
parents'  prayers  were  receiving  their  answer, 
and  that  "  First  the  blade,  then  the  ear,  and 
then  the  full  corn,"  were  watched  and  tended 
by  the  heavenly  Husbandman,  until  at  last, 
w^hen  fully  ripe,  it  was  transplanted  from  earth 
to  bloom  for  ever  in  the  fair  paradise  of  God. 

That  summer  of  1850,  the  dear  home  at 
Fahan  was  left,  as  it  was  then  believed,  for  ever, 
and  my  mother  took  us  to  Dublin,  where  she 
intended  to  reside,  that  we  might  have  the 
benefit  of  masters.  We  attended  the  ministry 
of  the  Rev.  John  Gregg,  now  Bishop  of  Cork, 
and  immediately  joined  his  confirmation  classes. 
His  clear  gospel-teaching  and  earnest  personal 
appeal  to  the  hearts  of  the  young,  awoke  new 


EARLY    LIFE.  I9 


desires  after  God.  Her  aunt  and  godmother, 
who  ever  watched  over  her  spiritual  life  with 
the  deepest  interest,  writes,  ''  Her  confuTxiation 
seemed  to  me  the  time  of  Agnes's  real  con- 
version ;  she  wrote  me  such  a  letter,  and  told 
me  that,  on  returning  to  her  pew,  her  sins  had 
all  seemed  to  rise  up  before  her.  From  that 
time  I  truly  believe  the  earnest  desire  of  her 
heart  was  to  live  to  God."  One  of  her 
earliest  labours  of  love,  which  was  scarcely 
noticed  by  us  at  the  time,  was  recalled  to  our 
memory  fifteen  years  after,  when  my  aunt  met 
the  lady,  in  whose  house  we  lodged  that  winter, 
in  Dublin.  She  asked  kindly  for  us  all,  but 
especially  for  Agnes,  and  added,  **  I  shall  never 
forget  how  that  young  creature,  all  through  the 
winter  they  spent  in  my  house,  used  to  come 
down  to  the  kitchen  every  Sunday  evening  to 
read  the  Bible  to  Larry  and  Eliza"  (servants 
in  the  house).  There  is  an  admirable  Sunday- 
school  in  connection  with  Trinity  Church,  at 
which  the  children  of  the  higher  classes  attend 
as  well  as  the  poor ;  very  soon  after  our  arrival 
in  Dublin  wc  joined  it,  and  were  placed  by  Mr. 

C  z 


20  EARLY    LIFE. 


Gregg  in  a  class  taught  by  Miss  Williams,  a 
deeply  experienced  Christian,  and  one  who  pos- 
sessed the  valuable  power  of  imparting  know- 
ledge and  of  touching  the  hearts  of  her  pupils. 
Agnes  ever  retained  a  warm  affection  for  her, 
and  from  time  to  time  corresponded  with  her. 
This  lad}^  writes,  *'  I  can  never  think  of  dear 
Agnes  Jones  now,  but  as  casting  her  crown  at 
His  feet,  in  Whose  footsteps  she  ever  walked. 
Her  first  letter  to  me  in  185 1  is  full  of  touch- 
ing interest ;  how  truly  dear  Mr.  Gregg  inter- 
preted her  mind  when  he  introduced  her  to  me 
with  others  as  *  anxious  inquirers '  after  his 
confirmation  examinations.  She  was  then  in 
the  valley  of  humility,  when  she  did  not  dare  to 
lift  up  her  eyes  to  see  the  hand  that  was 
leading  her.  How  circumspectly  she  walked, 
looking  for  every  footprint  by  the  light  of  the 
lamp  before  she  placed  her  foot  there ! 

"  Though  she  opened  her  mind  so  freely  to 
me  in  writing,  yet  she  was  so  overcome  by  an 
interview  that  I  was  obliged  to  give  up  visiting 
you  in  Gardiner  Street ;  it  seemed  so  painful  to 
her  to  speak  before  others,  but  in  the  class  her 


EARLY    LIFE.  21 


intense  appetite  for  the  living  bread  was  so 
apparent  that  I  often  felt  myself  speaking  to 
her  only,  her  calm  gentle  eyes  fixed  on  me,  as 
God  helped  me  to  speak." 

Before  leaving  the  north  of  Ireland,  we  had 
met  at  Ardmore  two  ladies,  Miss  Mason  and 
Miss  Bellingham,  both  much  engaged  in  mis- 
sionary work  among  the  Roman  Catholics  of 
Ireland.  Good  and  clever  people  were  always 
most  attractive  to  Agnes,  and  she  at  once 
formed  a  friendship  with  those  devoted  v.'omen, 
which  was  most  valuable  to  her,  and  a  source 
of  much  happiness.  As  they  resided  in  Dublin, 
she  saw  them  frequently  during  the  winter,  and 
became  deeply  interested  in  their  work.  Her 
attachment  to  Miss  Mason  ripened  into  a  warm 
and  lasting  friendship,  which  had  much  influ- 
ence on  her  after  life  ;  to  her  she  often  wrote 
for  advice  when  in  perplexity  and  depression, 
and  through  her  she  was  introduced  to  some 
of  her  most  valuable  friends. 

In  the  spring  of  1851,  we  went  abroad  for 
some  months,  and  on  our  return  in  the  autumn 
I   was  sent  to  school  at  Brighton,  while  my 


22  EARLY    LIFE. 


mother  and  Agnes  once  more  took  up  their 
abode  in  Dublin.  She  felt  the  separation  from 
me  very  acutely,  though  for  my  mother's  sake 
she  tried  to  conceal  her  feelings.  Her  intense 
affection  for  those  she  loved  was  a  source  of 
much  suffering  to  her ;  the  great  reserve  of  her 
disposition  seemed  to  make  it  impossible  for 
her  to  show  it  fully  by  words  or  many  outward 
signs,  and  it  sometimes  happened  that  the 
objects  of  her  love  were  unaware  of  the  al- 
most passionate  depth  of  her  feelings  towards 
them.  This  was  not  the  case,  however,  in 
her  own  immediate  family,  for  none  could 
mistake  the  loving  devotion  of  her  every  look  and 
word,  though  her  private  papers  and  journals 
reveal  an  agony  at  every  separation  which 
was  little  suspected  at  the  time.  Her  extreme 
humility  made  her  fancy  herself  inferior  to 
others,  and  unworthy  of  their  regard,  and  gave 
a  constraint  to  her  manner  with  strangers  which 
often  hid  from  them  her  real  character.  While 
to  others  she  was  ever  most  lenient  in  her 
judgment,  to  herself  she  was  a  most  stern  dis- 
ciphnarian.      From    her  journal,  kept    during 


EARLY    LIFE.  23 


this  winter  with  tolerable  regularity,  one  would 
fancy  her  to  have  been  leading  an  idle  useless 
life,  so  frequently  do  charges  of  indolence  and 
negligence  occur ;  those  who  were  with  her  at 
the  time,  however,  tell  a  different  story.  She 
was  studying  most  carefully  '  Bacon's  Essays  * 
and  '  Butler's  Analogy,'  for  classes  on  both, 
which  she  attended ;  she  had  German  and 
drawing  lessons  three  times  a  week,  for  wdiich 
she  prepared  very  diligently,  and  she  was  ever 
ready  for  any  useful  work  which  might  offer. 
She  was  always  busy  about  something ;  from 
early  girlhood  one  never  saw  her  with  her  hands 
unemployed,  and  the  amount  of  work  of  all 
kinds  she  accomplished  in  this  way  was  wonder- 
ful. "My  father  had  encouraged  us  as  children 
to  write  out  during  the  week  our  recollection 
of  the  Sunday  sermons,  and  this  practice  Agnes 
never  gave  up  until  time  failed  her  for  it  in  the 
last  few  years  of  overwhelming  work,  yet  to 
the  last  she  wrote  out  jecollections  of  any  pe- 
culiarly striking  or  profitable  sermons.  To 
my  mother  she  was  ever  the  tender  loving 
child    and   the   wise   trusted   friend ;    over  my 


•-«4  EARLY    LIFE. 


brother  she  watched  with  a  yearning  love, 
which  could  never  express  the  affection  she  bore 
him,  and  to  me  she  was  like  a  mother,  sister, 
and  friend  in  one.  It  is  not  easy  to  put  into 
words  the  love  of  a  lifetime,  and  there  are 
depths  of  tender  memories  with  which  a 
stranger  intermeddleth  not,  but  if  any  true 
idea  is  to  be  given  of  the  subject  of  this  memoir, 
the  beauty  of  her  home  life  cannot  be  passed 
over  in  silence.  Never  did  the  charm  of  un- 
selfishness appear  more  perfect  than  in  her 
character ;  she  seemed  incapable  of  a  selfish 
act  or  of  a  selfish  thought;  as  if  of  themselves 
her  thoughts  ever  turned  to  others,  their 
pleasure,  their  wishes,  and  while  she  thought 
of  herself  only  to  blame,  she  could  see  no 
fault  where  she  loved.  During  this  winter 
she  began  her  classes  in  the  Lurgan  Street 
Ragged  School,  where  the  deep  spiritual  and 
physical  need  of  her  scholars  awakened  her 
liveliest  interest  and  called  forth  her  deepest 
sympathy. 

In  the  summer  of  1852,  my  two  aunts,  with 
Agnes    and    myself,    made    a   short    tour    in 


EARLY    LIFE.  25 


Connemara,  and  all  her  enthusiasm  was  excited 
by  the  wild  scenery  of  the  west,  while  her  heart 
was  drawn  out  in  ardent  love  to  the  poor  but 
intelligent  peasantry,  many  of  whom  are 
wholly  ignorant  of  the  English  language,  and 
all  of  whom  had  been  brought  up  in  utter  ig- 
norance of  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus.  We 
visited  many  of  the  schools,  and  as  the 
Bishop  of  Tuam,  with  a  large  body  of  clergy, 
was  making  a  confirmation  tour  at  the  time, 
we  heard  several  examinations  of  the  bright- 
faced  children  in  the  schools,  whose  answers 
astonished  and  delighted  us.  The  orphan 
nursery  at  Ballyconree  especially  interested 
Agnes  ;  and  the  meeting  again  her  kind  friends 
Miss  Bellingham,  then  Mrs.  D'Arcy,  the  wife 
of  the  rector  of  Clifden,  and  Miss  Gore,  was 
an  additional  pleasure.  She  would  willingly 
have  stayed  behind  us  in  the  west  to  work 
for  God  with  Miss  Gore  at  Ballyconree,  in 
that  great  field  so  wonderfully  opened  up  for 
the  labourer,  and  though  duty  called  her  away, 
it  did  seem  as  if  her  life-long  desire  for  mission- 
ar)^  work  might  some  day  find  its  realization  in 


26  EARLY    LIFE. 


that  Sphere.  She  chose  one  school  which 
seemed  in  special  need,  and  for  some  years 
collected  funds  for  the  payment  of  the  master. 
So  brightly  did  she  picture  the  delights  of  life 
among  the  mountains  of  Connemara,  that  a 
friend  gave  her  the  name  of  "  the  recluse  of 
Clare  Island,"  and  often  playfully  asked  her 
when  she  intended  to  migrate  to  the  wilds  of 
the  far  west.  The  next  autumn  and  winter 
were  spent  at  Kingstown,  and  there  she  found 
some  poor  people  to  visit,  and  divided  her  time 
between  self-improvement  and  usefulness  to 
others. 

Early  in  1853,  we  started  for  the  Continent, 
and  six  pleasant  months  were  spent  in  France, 
Germany,  and  Switzerland.  Agnes's  journal 
is  full  of  vivid  descriptions  of  the  scenery 
through  which  we  passed,  and  the  historical 
associations  of  the  cities  we  visited,  while  at 
the  same  time  her  practical  mind  was  ever 
ready  to  gain  information  from  the  manners 
and  customs  of  the  people,  their  public  insti- 
tutions, etc.  In  this  age  of  travelling,  when 
every  one  is  familiar  with  the  Continent,  either 


EARLY    LIFE.  2^ 


through  books  of  travel  or  from  personal  ex- 
perience, few  would  care  to  read  a  young  girl's 
history  of  her  first  impressions  of  foreign  life. 
I  shall,  therefore,  only  extract  from  her  journal 
the  passages  which  relate  to  the  foreign  deacon- 
ess institutions,  of  which  she  now  heard  for  the 
first  time,  and  which  were  to  influence  so 
decidedly  her  whole  after  life. 

*' Paris,  April  z^th,  1853. — To-day  we  went 
to  a  meeting  of  the  '  CEuvre  des  Diaconesses,' 
Rue  de  Neuilly.  It  was  held  in  the  chapel  of 
the  institution,  which  w^as  crowded.  There 
are  in  all  thirty- six  sisters,  two  of  whom  are 
from  the  German  parent  institution  at  Kaisers- 
werth.  They  have  three  divisions  or  branches 
of  labour.  There  are  the  apprentices,  the  peni- 
tentiary or  refuge,  and  the  '  disciplinaire  pour 
les  enfants  ;'  there  are  also  schools  and  an  in- 
firmary. There  is  always  a  reserve  fund  for 
the  support  of  the  sisters  when  old  or  leaving 
the  institution.  The  great  want  is  sisters,  for 
not  only  are  there  not  enough  for  the  work  of 
the  house  in  Paris,  but  many  are  also  required 
lor  work  in  the  provinces,  particularly  in   the 


28  EARLY    LIFE. 


Salles  d'Asile.  A  rival  establishment  of  Roman 
Catholic  Sisters  of  Charity  has  been  opened 
near.  The  house  of  the  Protestant  Deaconesses 
has  not,  however,  been  emptied,  as  they  pre- 
dicted, but  is  too  small.  It  is  like  the  Kaisers- 
werth  institution,  which  has  sisters  at  Jerusa- 
lem, Smyrna,  St.  Petersburg,  and  elsewhere." 

Early  in  June  we  reached  Bonn,  on  the 
Rhine,  where  some  weeks  were  spent  very 
happily.  Much  of  our  time  was  taken  up  pre- 
paring for  masters,  but  the  afternoons  were 
generally  devoted  to  long  country  walks  and 
drives,  which  were  often  enlivened  by  the  plea- 
sant and  profitable  conversation  of  the  Rev.  W. 
Graham,  a  missionary  to  the.  Jews,  who  had 
been  for  some  years  settled  at  Bonn.  On  June 
2ist,  vv^e  all  w^ent  over  to  Kaiserswerth,  accom- 
panied by  Mr.  Graham,  and  spent  a  long  sum- 
mer's day  in  visiting  the  various  schools,  hos- 
pitals, and  other  departments  of  that  most 
valuable  institution.  Little  did  we  think  of  the 
deep  effect  that  day's  visit  was  to  produce. 
The  detailed  account  in  her  journal  is  too  long 
to  give  here,  but  will  be  found  in  the  appendix. 


EARLY    LIFE.  29 


She  concludes  the  vivid  description  of  its 
various  departments  of  labour  with  the  follow- 
ing words,  which  seem  almost  prophetic  : — 

''As  we  drove  away,  my  great  wish  was  that 
this  might  not  be  my  last  visit  to  Kaiserswerth. 
Surely  such  visits  should  not  be  unprofitable ; 
if  the  thoughts  of  that  day  be  blessed,  and  its 
impressions  deepened,  it  will  not  I  trust  be  so. 
That  visit  was,  I  believe,  a  talent  committed  to 
our  care ;  may  it  not  be  buried."" 

And  a  few  days  later  she  writes  again  : — 
*'  Bonn,  Jime  2yth. — At  breakfast  it  was  pro- 
posed, and  Mamma  consented  to  the  plan,  that 
Aunt  E •  and  I  should  spend  a  week  at  Kai- 
serswerth in  order  the  better  to  understand  the 
whole  working  of  the  institution.  This  is  more 
than  I  ever  dared  to  hope.  How  thankful  I 
should  be  1  May  a  blessing  attend  that  visit ; 
may  my  feeble  desires  to  do  good  to  others  be 
deepened  and  purified.  The  Lord  has  heard 
my  prayers  and  answered  them  in  an  unexpect- 
ed manner ;  surely  this  visit  should  be  an  en- 
couragement to  prayer,  and  a  seal  that  God 
will  answer   it.     Lord,  Thou  hast  in  this  an- 


30  EARLY    LIFE. 


swered  my  prayer ;  add  yet  other  blessings  ;  oh, 
give  me  a  large  measure  of  Thy  spirit.  Go 
with  us,  Lord,  to  Kaisersv/erth  ;  be  with  us  and 
bless  us.  Make  all  things  now  and  then  to 
work  for  Thy  glory  and  our  good.  Sanctify  us 
wholly ;  sanctify  our  desires  and  thoughts.  If 
Thou  be  not  with  us,  Satan  can  turn  even  these 
wishes  to  evil.  Teach  us  how  needful  watch- 
fulness is,  especially  at  this  time.  If  Thou  go 
not  with  us,  carry  us  not  up  hence  ;  but  if  it  be 
for  Thy  honour  and  our  good,  take  us  there, 
and  let  me  not  forget,  that  as  in  this  one 
thing  Thou  hast  heard  me,  so  Thou  wilt  ever 
hear. 

*'  It  may  be  pleasant  in  a  few  years  to  know 
with  what  feelings  I  looked  upon  the  going  to 
Kaiserswerth,  for  it  seems  to  me  that  it  will 
exercise  a  great  influence  on  my  future  life.  I 
have  no  desire  to  become  a  Deaconess  ;  that 
would  not,  I  think,  be  the  place  I  should  be 
called  upon  to  occupy.  No,  my  own  Ireland 
first.  It  was  for  Ireland's  good  that  my  first 
desire  to  be  used  as  a  blessed  instrument  in 
God's  hand  was  breathed ;  it  was  for  Ireland's 


EARLY    LIFE.  31 


good  that  my  desire  to  find  the  Lord  for  myself 
took  a  tangible  form ;  it  was  for  Ireland's  good 
that  I  have  prayed  to  be  used ;  and  though  I 
think,  if  I  saw  an  opening,  I  could  be  content 
to  be  sent  to  other  lands,  yet  in  Ireland  is  it 
my  heart's  desire  to  labour.  But  though  I  do 
not  see  that  as  a  Kaiserswerth  Deaconess  I 
should  be  taking  my  proper  position,  yet  I  do 
believe  that,  as  a  training-school  for  usefulness, 
some  months  spent  at  Kaiserswerth  would  be 
of  untold  value.  I  have  now  the  desire,  but 
not  the  power,  but  there  is  not  a  branch  of  use- 
fulness in  which  I  may  be  called  to  occupy  my- 
self that  I  should  not  have  been  to  a  degree 
prepared  for.  At  my  age,  such  a  training  of 
the  powers  and  such  a  training  of  the  desires 
would,  if  blessed  by  God,  have  a  great  effect  on 
my  character.  These  considerations  are  all 
strongly  in  favour  of  my  going  to  Kaiserswerth. 
But  again,  ought  I  to  leave  Mamma  ?  If  she 
gave  me  an  unbiassed  and  free  permission,  I 
think  that,  for  a  time,  I  might,  but  she  is  not 
anxious  for  it ;  she  sees  it  might  not  be  for  my 
good  in  some  ways.     It  is  then  my  duty  not  to 


32 


EARLY    LIFE. 


press  the  subject.  May  I  be  grateful  to  her  for 
this  permission,  and  wait  until  a  way  is  opened, 
as,  if  it  be  indeed  for  my  good,  it  will  be,  and 
be  happy  and  contented  with  the  blessings  I 
enjoy,  not  letting  my  mind  dwell  on  what  I 
imagine  would  make  me  happy.  If  only  eyes 
are  open  to  see  them,  there  arc  enough  ways  of 
usefulness  before  me  if  I  can  never  go  to  Kai- 
serswerth." 

'  The  next  entry,  though  not  bearing  directly 
on  the  subject,  I  venture  to  quote,  as  calculated 
to  show  Agnes  as  she  then  was ;  it  is  a  true 
picture  of  the  young  heart's  simple  consecration 
of  itself  to  God.  Here  we  see  her  turning  to 
Him  from  all  earthly  enjoyments  ;  finding  Him 
in  all  beautiful  things ;  desiring  Him  above  all 
things  in  the  midst  of  her  youth  and  freshness, 
before  the  sorrows,  or  disappointments,  or  cares 
of  life  had  cast  a  single  shadow  on  her  un- 
clouded path. 

^' June  28^A.— The  heat  was  very  great  this 
morning.  After  dinner  we  took  a  carriage  to 
Mehlem,  and  crossed  to  Konigswinter  on  the 
flying-bridge.     Thence  we   ascended  the  Dra- 


EARLY    LIFE.  33 


chenfels,  some  on  donkeys,  others  on  foot. 
From  the  top,  the  view  in  both  directions  is 
most  beautiful.  As  you  look  down  the  preci- 
pice, on  the  edge  of  which  the  ruins  stand,  you 
see  to  the  right  the  Rhine  as  far  as  Cologne, 
the  spire  of  Bonn,  Godesberg,  and  some  vil- 
lages along  the  bank,  the  only  landmarks,  the 
country  being  flat  but  rich ;  to  the  left  are  seen 
Rolandseck  and  the  tower  above ;  below,  the 
two  islands  and  the  winding  river  for  some  dis- 
tance; two  large  villages  lie  at  j^ourfeet;  beyond, 
wooded  hills  and  the  quarries  from  which  the 
stone  was  brought  of  which  Cologne  Cathedral 
is  built.  We  went  round  to  the  other  side,  and 
sat  there,  in  the  cool  shade  of  the  old  tower, 
having  before  us  the  rich  country  and  dark 
woodland,  and  opposite  the  quarries,  from 
whence  now  and  then  we  heard  the  rolling 
stones  which  are  thus  sent  down  the  steep  de- 
scent, and  from  the  island  of  Nonnenwerth 
came  the  sound  of  convent  bells.  Very  sweet 
were  they  to  our  ears,  because  we  were  free, 
tree  at  will  to  be  of  use  to  others,  not  in  a  cer- 
tain specified  way,  not  by  being  immured  for 

D 


34  EARLY    LIFE. 


life  within  convent  walls,  but  free  wherever  the 
pointings  of  duty  lead  us,  in  whatever  situation 
is  right,  free  to  point  to  others  the  way  to  ob- 
tain blessings  which  are  theirs  as  well  as  ours. 
There  we  sat,  Mr.  G.,  aunts,  mamma,  J.,  and 
I,  a  happy  thankful  party.  We  talked  of  poets, 
poetry,  English  and  German,  then  of  the  crea- 
tive faculty  of  imagination,  the  most  godlike 
left  to  man,  and  then,  turning  to  the  beauteous 
dioram^a  spread  before  us,  Mr.  G.  spoke  of  the 
likelihood  that  we  might,  as  disembodied  spirits, 
think  of  that  evening  when  we  had  gazed  on 
our  Creator's  glorious  work;  we  might  even 
visit  it  again.  He  thinks  that,  with  body  and 
soul  reunited,  the  saints  shall  again  inhabit  this 
earth,  for  neither  it  nor  any  of  God's  works 
shall  be  annihilated.  The  God-man  shall  reign 
over  this  kingdom ;  the  realization  of  Jacob's 
ladder  will  connect  heaven  with  earth,  and  the 
angels  ascending  and  descending  be  the  mes- 
sengers between.  We  could  have  sat  there 
long,  but  it  was  getting  late,  so  we  rose  with 
solemn  thoughts  and,  having  taken  another 
look  at  the  scene  around,  returned  to  the  hotel, 


EARLY    LIFE. 


where,  in  a  little  arbour  overhanging  the  valley, 
we  took  our  coffee,  amusing  ourselves  feeding 
some  cocks  and  hens,  the  first  we  have  seen  for 
some  time.  The  clouds  were  very  beautiful, 
and  the  soft  rays  of  the  setting  sun,  half 
screened  from  our  view  by  a  golden  cloud, 
were  most  exquisite.  The  whole  landscape  ap- 
peared even  more  beautiful  than  in  the  morn- 
ing. During  our  drive  home,  Mr.  G.  spoke  of 
the  principle  of  compensation.  If  a  tree  be 
planted  and  grow  alone,  it  will  not  in  a  number 
of  years  have  reached  to  more  than  half  the 
height  of  a  grove  of  trees  planted  at  the  same 
time ;  alone,  it  will  weather  the  storm,  and 
every  blast  will  only  root  it  more  firmly  in  the 
ground ;  but  cut  down  all  but  one  of  the  trees 
in  a  grove,  a  gust  of  wind  will  level  it,  because 
those  trees  which  are  planted  together  only 
strike  their  roots  to  that  depth,  which  with 
their  mutual  support  will  enable  them  to  stand; 
so  it  is  among  Christians,  those  who,  like  many 
in  India  and  elsewhere,  have  to  stand  alone, 
bear  nobly  up  against  the  storm,  and  in  Eng- 
land, where  many  are  together,  they  only  just 
keep  their  footing.  D  2, 


36  EARLY    LIFE. 


*'  He  parted  from  us  at  our  door,  thanking  us 
for  having  drawn  him  from  his  sohtude.  What 
a  blessing  we  should  esteem  it  to  have  such  a 
man  with  us  ! " 

A  few  da3's  later  she  writes  from  Kaisers- 
werth : — 

"  My  darling  J., — Though  none  of  the 
dreadful  things  you  imagined  have  happened  to 
me,  I  was  very  glad  to  receive  your  letter,  and 
to  hear  that  you  are  all  so  well.  We  breakfast 
at  six^  dine  at  twelve,  have  tea  at  four,  and 
supper  at  seven,  bed  at  ten.  This  is  a  very 
busy  day,  and  we  have  seen  neither  Louisa 
Fliedner  nor  my  dear  friend  Hedwig,  who  are 
generally  much  with  us.  Wir  liehen  zusammen, 
as  they  say.  They  both  speak  English  very 
well,  especially  the  latter.  Yesterday  I  had 
such  a  pleasant  talk  with  her;  she  believes 
that  I  shall  come  back  here  ;  I  am  sure  I  shall 
if  it  be  for  my  good.  Dear  Hedwig !  she  was 
telling  me  I  must  not  expect  to  find  all  coidenr 
de  rose  in  the  service  of  the  Lord  here ;  in  so 
many  things  we  feel  the  same.  She  belongs  to 
one  of"  the  very  highest  families  in  Germany  ; 


EARLY    LIFE.  37 


now  she  is  principally  engaged  in  teaching  in 
the  seminarist's  house,  but  even  the  pastor 
himself  was  astonished  at  the  cheerfulness 
with  which,  as  *  probe  Schwester,'  she  did  any- 
menial  work.  Each  person  here  is,  as  far  as 
possible,  assigned  to  the  work  for  which  they 
are  best  fitted.  There  is  much  freedom  in 
every  way.  Each  ward  has  its  deaconess,  who 
has  many  *  probe  Schwestern'  under  her ;  all 
responsibility  devolves  on  the  sister,  and  one 
evening  every  week  each  sister  comes  to  con- 
sult with  the  mother  (Madame  Fliedner)  and 
tell  her  her  difficulties  and  trials.  The  mother 
is  indeed  a  mother,  overseeing  all,  helping  and 
advising  all.  Yesterday,  being  the  first  Sun- 
day in  the  month,  all  went  to  the  church  at 
night,  and  there  was  a  special  prayer  for  all 
the  sisters  here  and  abroad.  In  the  fifteen 
institutions  in  different  parts  of  the  world  there 
is  a  prayer  meeting  at  the  same  hour;  this 
meeting  in  spirit  is  much  prized.  There  is 
such  love  between  all,  and  every  one  is  so  free, 
no  one  would  think  it  a  convent.  Love  seems 
indeed,  as  far  as  human  nature  permits,  to  per- 


38  EARLY    LIFE. 


vade  every  action.  I  am  so  happy  here  ;  it  is 
so  dehghtful  to  see  every  one  so  busy,  and  in 
the  Lord's  work  ;  all  are  so  loving  and  excel- 
lent, their  whole  hearts  are  in  the  work.  It  is 
a  blessed  thing  to  be  among  them.  I  wish  you 
would  all  come  here.  Aunt  and  I  went  with 
Louisa  Fliedner,  seven  of  her  insane  patients, 
and  five  deaconesses  to  a  farm  near  this,  where 
we  had  some  coffee.  The  patients  enjoy  this, 
and  it  is  good  for  them  ;  Louisa  begged  us  to 
talk  to  them,  as  it  pleased  them  so  much.  Fancy 
us  for  three  hours  walking  and  talking  with 
these  people  in  German.  Not  only  the  labour 
of  talking  German  so  long,  but  the  anxiety  lest 
I  should  touch  a  dangerous  point,  made  it 
rather  fatiguing.  All  went  off  well.  We 
walked  along  the  mill-stream,  and  they  went 
in  a  boat  on  the  mill-pond ;  they  were  so 
obedient,  and  the  deaconesses  seemed  only 
amusing  themselves,  but  never  took  their  eyes 
off  the  patients.  One  old  lady  was  very  inqui- 
sitive, some  would  scarcely  speak,  but  all  were 
pleased  with  the  foreigners.  Yesterday  I  was 
in  the  hospital  and  infant  school  all  day.     If 


EARLY    LIFE.  39 


any  one  comes  here  to  find  quiet  rest,  or  soli- 
tude, they  are  very  much  mistaken,  for  all  are 
busy,  yet  have  their  work  so  beautifully  appor- 
tioned that  there  is  never  anything  neglected 
or  left  undone,  yet  no  bustle.  Link  within 
link  binds  all  together,  not  only  in  the  house 
here,  but  to  the  102  deaconesses  abroad. '^ 
A  few  days  later  she  returned  to  us  at  Bonn, 


and  the  following  week  we  started  for  Switzer- 
land, where  she  had  much  enjoyment.  Physi- 
cally strong,  and  not  knowing  what  fear  was, 
she  would  have  willingly  ventured  on  the  most 
perilous  mountain  expeditions ;  but  in  this,  as 
in  all  else,  she  yielded  at  once  to  my  mother's 
wishes,  and  gave  up  without  a  look  of  disap- 
pointment her  desire  for  adventure.  A  visit  to 
Mr.  Alalan,  at  Geneva,  made  a  deep  impression 
on  her  mind. 

*'  Geneva,  Sept.  ^th. — This  morning,  accord- 
ing to  Mr.  Malan's  invitation,  we  went  to  visit 
his  school.  Here  we  were  delighted  with  the 
children,  the  order  and  quiet.  He  sent  for  us, 
and  we  spent  an  hour  with  him.  I  trust  I  may 
never  forget  his  conversation." 


40  EARLY    LIFE. 


On  our  return  to  Ireland  in  the  autumn  of 
1853,  she  resumed  her  former  life  in  Dublin, 
only  devoting  more  time  to  teaching  in  the 
ragged  schools  than  she  had  .  done  before ; 
earnestly  she  desired  more  work  for  God,  and, 
from  her  private  papers,  it  would  seem  that 
she  blamed  herself  for  indolence  and  care- 
lessness, because  she  did  not  do  more ;  yet 
never  did  she  neglect  home  duties,  or  leave 
undone  what  was  ready  to  her  hand.  She 
seldom  spoke  of  Kaiserswerth,  and  I  knew 
nothing  of  her  unabated  desire  to  return  there, 
but  in  her  journal,  under  the  date  of  June, 
1855,  is  the  following  passage,  which  shows 
how  the  wish  remained  strong  as  ever : — 

"  When  this  time  two  years  ago,  I  left  Kai- 
serswerth, my  wish  and  prayer  were  that  I 
might  some  time  return  there  to  be  fitted  and 
trained  for  active  work  in  my  Father's  service. 
How  often  since  have  that  wish  and  prayer 
been  breathed !  I  may  almost  say  they  have 
been  ever  with  me ;  and  though  I  acknowledge 
that  they  should  have  had  greater  effect  in 
making    me    use    my    small    knowledge    and 


EARLY    LIFE.  41 


stirred  me  up  to  greater  exertions,  still,  with 
gratitude  I  write  it,  they  have  never  had  such 
an  undue  influence  as  to  make  me  discontented 
and  impatient  that  my  wish  was  ungratified,-— 
my  prayer  unanswered  ;  and  when,  a  few  short 
days  ago,  mamma  proposed  my  going  in  Au- 
gust, with  what  trembling  joy  did  I  find  that 
accorded,  unasked,  which  I  should  not  have 
thought  it  right  to  ask.  May  I  take  this  fact 
alone  as  the  pillar  of  fire  to  lead  me  on  ?  It  is 
the  way  that  inclination  points,  therefore,  an 
investigation  as  to  the  direction  of  duty  will  be 
only  fair.  Inclination  may  lead  to  self-decep- 
tion. O  God,  for  Jesus'  sake,  direct  me.  The 
duty  on  the  side  of  Kaiserswerth  is  clear,  and 
may  be  summed  up  in  a  few  words.  As  we 
use  means  to  fit  us  for  any  earthly  profession, 
so  are  we  bound  to  use  every  means  which  will 
enable  us  to  adorn  our  Christian  profession. 
This  is  a  means :  it  is  now  offered  to  me. 
If  God  sends  me  and  blesses  me,  it  may  be  a 
means  for  His  glory  and  the  good  of  my  iellow- 
creatures.  If  I  go.  Lord  sanctify  my  motives. 
An  application  of  *  Lord,  let  me  first  go  and 


42  EARLY    LIFE. 


bury  my  father,'  struck  me  to-day.  There  is, 
when  I  leave  m.y  mother  even  for  a  short  day, 
a  half-unacknowledged,  undefined  fear  that  I 
may  not  see  her  again,  and  this  comes  over  me 
"when  I  think  of  leaving  her  to  go  to  Kaisers- 
werth.  *  Lord,  let  me  wait  till  death  removes 
my  father,  then  I  will  follow  Thee,'  said  a  man 
to  Jesus.  The  answer  bade  him  come  at  once. 
J.  is  now  with  mamma;  this  may  be  the  most 
convenient  time  for  leaving  her.  Life  is  short, 
the  work  to  be  done,  great ;  the  preparation 
should  be  made  at  once." 

This  paper  is  broken  off  abruptly,  and  when 
it  is  resumed,  it  appears  that  circumstances 
had  occurred  which  made  her  feel  it  right  once 
more  to  defer  the  visit ;  yet  so  simply  and  un- 
selfishly was  this  done,  that,  though  it  was  for 
my  sake  she  gave  up  her  wishes  on  the  subject, 
I  never  knew  till  long  afterwards  that  the  idea 
of  her  going  had  been  proposed  to  her.  The 
sentence  in  her  journal  in  which  she  refers  to 
the  disappointment  is  so  characteristic  that  I 
cannot  forbear  inserting  it : — 

**^«/)',1855. — Had  arrangements  remained  as 


EARLY    LIFE.  43 


before,  I  should  have  gone  to  Germany,  but  the 
nearer  time  now  fixed  for  J.'s  marriage  alters 
the  case.  I  did  not  know  how  much  my  heart 
was  set  on  it  until  I  heard  of  the  change  of 
plans,  which  seemed  to  put  an  obstacle  in  the 
way  ;  yet  how  could  I  give  up  the  last  time  of 
our  being  all  together !  surely  my  place  is  at 
home,  and  if  I  am  to  be  trained  for  usefulness, 
a  way  will  be  opened.  I  prayed  to  be  led ;  my 
pillar  moves  not  on,  and  I  will  not  go." 

The  winter  of  1855-56,  was  spent  at  Port 
Stewart,  and  early  in  the  following  spring  my 
mother  and  Agnes  returned  to  the  old  home 
at  Fahan  House.  The  delight  which  this  ar- 
rangement gave  to  all  our  party,  became  in 
Agnes's  case  almost  overpowering  happiness. 
She  thus  writes,  March  6  : — 

*'  Drove  down  to  dear  Fahan  on  a  business 
expedition.  Oh !  the  happy  feeling  of  being  able 
to  look  on  it  now  as  almost  our  home.  For 
some  time  after  we  came  in  sight  of  it,  the 
thought  was  unmixed  joy.  Then  the  little 
churchyard  reminded  us  of  the  dear  father  who 
lay  there,  and  recalled  to  us  that  here  is  not 


44  EARLY    LIFE. 


our  home,  and,  therefore,  with  the  words  of 
thanksgiving  which  arose  to  my  hps,  came 
those  of  prayer,  that  in  the  few  years  we  may 
be  blessed  by  remaining  in  that  once  happy 
and  now  fondly  looked  for  home,  my  own  ease 
and  happiness  may  not  be  consulted,  but  that 
I  may  live  for  the  glory  of  God  and  good  of 
others." 


CHAPTER   IL 

FAHAN. 

**  She  doeth  little  kindnesses 
Which  most  leave  undone  or  despise  ; 
For  naught  that  sets  one  heart  at  ease 
And  giveth  happiness  or  peace 
Is  low  esteemed  in  her  eyes. 

**  Yet  in  herself  she  dwelleth  not, 
Although  no  home  were  half  so  fair  ; 
No  simplest  duty  is  forgot ; 
Life  hath  no  dim  and  lowly  spot 
That  doth  not  in  her  sunshine  share, 

**  Blessing  she  is, — God  made  her  so, 
And  deeds  of  week-day  holiness 
Fall  from  her  noiseless  as  the  snow : 
Nor  hath  she  ever  chanced  to  know 
That  aught  were  easier  than  to  bless." — Lovelh  - ..  /rtt^r 

A  FEW  extracts  from  Agnes's  journal  at 
-^  ^  this  time  will  show  the  spirit  in  which 
she  re-entered  the  home  of  her  childhood  : — 

"  June  4th,  1856. — Came  down  to  Fahan  for 
a  couple  of  days  to  get  the  house  ready.  Every 
step  by  the  way  seemed  to  recall   something. 


46  FAHAN. 


The  little  court-house  at  Burnfoot  brings  back 
the  memory  of  that  dear  father  whose  last  day 
of  health  was  spent  there  that  he  might  speak 
for  the  poor  :  further  on,  the  hill;,  where  we  as 
children  often  went  to  meet  grandpapa  when 
he  was  coming  to  see  us  ;  soon  the  view  of 
Fahan  recalled  in  contrast  our  last  look  when 
..eaving  our  home  six  years  ago,  and  the  remain- 
ing distance  was  spent  in  prayer  for  guidance 
and  strength  for  my  new  duties.  May  God 
grant  us  many  days  here,  if  they  be  devoted  to 
His  service ;  if  He  will  so  honour  us  as  to 
make  us  useful,  to  Him  be  all  the  glory.  Lord, 
do  Thou  be  with  us  and  bless  us  and  drav/  us 
nearer  to  Thee,  and  oh,  may  we  not  enter  Thy 
kingdom  alone, — enable  us  to  bring  many  to 
the  knowledge  of  Thee.  I  ran  round  the  gar- 
den with  almost  childish  glee ;  care  and  sorrow 
seemed  to  have  fled, — the  weight  of  the  last 
few  3-ears  removed.  A  few  seconds  I  knelt  in 
that  dear  hallowed  dressing-room — formerly 
my  father's,  and  now  to  be  mine — to  ask  for  a 
blessing  from  the  Lord  on  my  coming  here. 
Out  of  doors   I  feel  as  if  I  had  never  left  the 


FAHAN.  47 


place ;  every  tree  and  weed  and  bramble  seems 
unchanged.  But  the  mind  goes  off  to  the  past, 
the  eye  lights  on  the  face  of  some  unknown 
child,  then  the  feeling  of  the  interim  returns 
strongly." 

At  Fahan  the  long-cherished  dream  of  a  life 
devoted  to  the  sick  and  sorrowful  began  to  be 
realized.  In  the  school ;  by  the  sick-bed  of  the 
dying  ;  in  the  lowly  cottage  where  some  sudden 
accident  had  brought  sorrow  and  despair,  and 
where  her  gentle  self-possession  and  prom.pt, 
wise  action  seemed  often  to  bring  healing  and 
hope  ;  everywhere  she  was  to  be  found  about 
her  Father's  business.  None  who  saw  can 
ever  forget  her  as  she  w^ould  return  from  those 
distant  lonely  walks  ;  her  colour  brightened  by 
the  keen  mountain  air,  her  curls  blown  about 
by  the  breeze,  and  her  fair,  happy  face  beaming 
with  the  consciousness  of  having  brought  com- 
fort and  blessing  to  some  of  God's  poor.  She 
had  a  very  tender  and  loving  sympathy  for  the 
poor,  and  often  writes  of  the  happiness  it  was 
to  her  to  be  among  them.  When  on  a  visit  at 
the  house  of  one  of  my  uncles,  she  writes  ;^- 


48  FAHAN. 


'*  I  have  to  this  place  a  feeling  that  I  have  to 
no  other,  save  Fahan,  from  the  knowledge  that 
here  a  few  poor  look  on  me  as  a  friend.  How 
the  heart  leaps  with  joy  to  see  a  look  or  smile 
of  welcome  from  the  poor,  much  more  than  at 
a  warmer  reception  from  the  rich !"  And 
again,— 

"  March,  1857. — I  thank  God  for  the  great 
blessing  of  health  and  strength  to  go  amongst 
the  poor.  What  a  sore  trial  it  would  be  to  be 
forced  to  cease  from  visiting  them !  their  cordial 
welcome  cheers  me,  and  the  hope  of  doing  them 
good  is  such  an  incentive ;  when  I  come  to  one 
who  is  a  Christian,  and  hear  her  prayers  for 
me,  then  there  rises  within  me  a  deep  well- 
spring  of  joy. 

*'  October,  1857. — To-day,  winter  came  in  hail 
and  snow  and  bitter  cold.  I  put  on  winter 
array,  but  felt  almost  ashamed  to  go  into  the 
cottages  so  warmly  clothed.  What  a  contrast 
between  visitor  and  visited  !  Who  made  me 
to  differ  ?  Health,  strength,  and  this  warm 
clothing  enabling  me  to  go  out  in  all  weather, 
are  talents;    oh,  may  each   and  all  be  more 


FAHAN. 


49 


and  more  used  for  His  glory  Who  gave  and 
can  take  away.  A  blessing  to-day  from  old 
Mrs.  W.  warmed  me  so  that  I  felt  not  the 
cold ;  she  said,  '  The  Lord  love  you,  for  I  love 
you.' " 

Another  time  when  leaving  home  before 
Christmas : — 

"  Dec.  20th,  1856. — I  do  not  like  to  give  the 
poor  their  Christmas  gifts  so  long  before.  I 
would  like  the  joy  to  come  to  them  on  that 
day,  to  go  myself  with  each  little  love-token. 
What  joy  is  like  that  called  forth  by  the  grati- 
tude of  the  poor,  often  too  big  for  words !  I 
never  know  whether  to  laugh  or  cry.  Among 
the  many  thanks  and  blessings  I  have  received 
to-day,  none  have  been  as  hearty  or  overpower- 
ing as  widow  D.'s,  and  her  prayer  for  me  was 
that  God  would  never  leave  or  forsake  me,  but 
bring  me  safe  to  heaven.  The  blessings  of  an 
aged  saint  come  so  home  to  one,  while  the 
words  of  others  seem  an  empty  form." 

Every  morning,  unless  detained  by  home 
duties,  she  set  off  on  her  rounds  after  break- 
fast, returning  to   early  dinner,   only  to   start 


so 


FAHAN. 


again  immediately  aftenvards,  and  prolonging 
her  absence  often  until  the  darkness  had  closed 
in.      No   weather   deterred    her ;    no   distance 
was  too  great ;  no  road  too  lonely.     She  never 
seemed  to  think  it  could  be  a  question  whether 
the  fatigue  or  exposure  was  too  much  for  her ; 
she  was  naturally  strong,  but  often  she  over- 
taxed her  strength  ;   and  when  suffering  from 
severe  headaches  would  set  off  in  the  morning 
earlier   than   usual   to  see   some    sick   person, 
knowing  that  later  in  the  day  when  the  pain 
had  reached   its  height,  she  would  be  unable 
to   move.      Many   times   in   winter   she    came 
back  from  her  mountain  walks  with  her  cloak 
stiff  with  ice    and  her  hands   benumbed  with 
cold  ;  but  nothing  could  damp  her  brave  spirit, 
and  the  joy  of  her  work  kept  her  up.     During 
the  five  years  she  remained   at   Fahan,  there 
was  no  cessation  in  those  busy  labours,  except 
during  one  short  visit  to  Dublin  in  the  spring 
of  1857.     Her  skill  in  prescribing  for  the  sick, 
and   her    gentle   but   firm    touch   in    dressing 
wounds,  and  especially  in  cases  of  burns  and 
scalds,  soon  became  famous  in  the  neighbour- 


FAHAN.  51 


hood,  and  the  poor  people  came  many  miles 
across  the  mountains  to  consult  her,  and  to 
get  medicines,  salve,  etc.  The  turf-fires  on 
the  cottage  hearths,  round  which  little  children 
often  gather  without  much  watching  or  care, 
are  the  fruitful  source  of  many  severe  burns, 
and,  on  such  occasions,  Agnes  was  always 
sent  for.  Sometimes  it  w^as  a  very  fearful 
sight  that  met  her,  but  she  never  shrank  from 
anything  because  it  was  painful,  if  she  could 
but  relieve  suffering,  and  day  after  day  she 
would  go  to  dress  the  burns  until  her  care 
was  no  longer  needed.  She  was  so  conside- 
rate, too,  so  thoughtful  of  their  comfort ;  never 
forgetting  to  take  cake  or  fruit  for  the  poor 
little  sufferer  to  beguile  it  during  the  painful 
dressing,  as  well  as  more  substantial  food, 
where  that  was  needed.  Roman  Catholics  as 
well  as  Protestants  were  visited  and  cared  for  ; 
she  made  no  distinction  of  creed  or  sect  in 
ministering  to  the  needy  ones,  and  wherever 
she  was  allowed  to  do  so,  she  never  paid  a 
visit  without  reading  at  least  a  few  verses  of 
the  Bible.     Then  she  would  say  a  little  by  way 

E3 


52 


FAH  AN. 


of  explanation,  so  simply  that  the  youngest 
child  could  understand,  yet  so  earnestly  and 
practically  that  none  could  listen  unimpressed. 
Her  own  deep  sense  of  responsibility  and  the 
tenderness  of  her  conscience,  ever  ready  to 
condemn  herself,  made  her  often  mourn  very 
deeply  over  the  apparent  v^ant  of  success  attend- 
ing her  visits.  A  few  extracts  from  her  journal, 
taken  from  different  periods,  may,  perhaps, 
help  to  bring  her  life  more  vividly  before  the 
reader : — 

''Nov.  istli,  1856.— To-day  I  went  to  old 
Mrs.  D. ;  she  seemed  very  low,  but  I  trust  her 
hope  is  sure.  My  thoughts  went  back  to 
former  visits.  Have  I  really  set  the  whole 
Gospel  before  her?  How  humbling  to  go 
time  after  time  and  feel  such  want  of  words 
and  want  of  power  in  setting  Jesus  forth  !  As 
I  went  into  a  new  cottage  to-day,  many  doubts 
arose.  When  I  can  do  so  little  in  speaking 
awakeningly  to  those  I  visit,  why  go  to  more  ? 
but  this  was  a  temptation  to  yield  to  my  foolish 
timidity.  He  who  knows  the  thoughts  an- 
swered mine,  for  when  I  left   the  cottage,  a 


FAHAN.  53 


stranger  came  up  saying,  '  I  hear  you  lend 
tracts,  and  should  be  glad  of  some.'  This  is 
indeed  encouragement,  for  which  I  thank  God. 
The  promise  is  beginning  to  be  realized  to  me, 
*  He  that  watereth  others  shall  be  watered 
himself;'  for  when  I  read  and  try  to  explain  a 
chapter,  passages  strike  me  with  a  force  of 
which  I  knew  nothing  when  reading  alone. 

*'  Nov.  30/A. — How  often  do  Mr.  A.'s  words 
warn  or  comfort  me  !  To-day  those  which 
came  home  to  my  heart  were  words  of  en- 
couragement, truly  God-sent,  '  The  Lord  hath 
need  of  thee.'  How  often,  in  my  secret  heart, 
do  I  long  to  avoid  this  or  that  visit  and  wish 
to  postpone  it  !  Even  to-day  I  thought,  '  The 
snow  is  heavy,  the  roads  slippery;  my  head- 
ache severe ;  how  gladly  I  would  remain  at 
home !'  but  how  could  I  with  those  words  in 
my  ears  ?  each  step  was  cheered  by  them ; 
better  than  the  cry  'Excelsior'  came  those 
soft,  gentle,  loving  words,  *  The  Lord  hath 
need  of  thee.'  He  so  high,  the  Lord  of  heaven 
and  earth,  with  His  myriads  of  angels,  can 
He  use,  much  less  need  the  instrumentality  of 


54  FAHAN. 


such  as  I  ?  If  it  be  so,  and  I  read  also,  *  Thou 
knowest  not  whether  shall  prosper  this  or 
that/  shall  I  let  a  little  thing  stop  me  ?" 

'' Febniary  2^th. — On  my  return  from  Ard- 
more  last  evening,  I  ran  up  to  see  poor  little 
M.  W.,  who  I  heard  was  dying.  She  took  and 
held  my  hand,  and,  from  its  motion  in  answer 
to  my  question,  signified  her  sure  dependence 
on  Christ  alone.  Dear  little  girl,  I  feel  so  sure 
of  her  safety ;  many  things  she  has  said  to  me 
prove  her  trust  to  be  placed  on  the  Rock  of 
Ages." 

"  March  ist. — M.  W.  died  last  night.  Jesus* 
words,  '  He  that  believeth  on  Me  though  he 
were  dead,  yet  shall  he  live,'  seemed  so  true 
of  her  as  I  gazed  on  the  dead  face ;  dead  yet 
alive." 

"  March  i^th. — Mrs.  L.  died  yesterday.  The 
last  words  I  heard  her  say  as  I  supported  her 
in  my  arms  were,  *  I  will  fear  no  evil,  for  Thou 
art  with  me.'  This  was  about  twelve  hours 
before  she  w^ent  to  be  with  Jesus.  Hers  was 
no  deathbed  repentance, — long  ago  that  was 
all  done,  and  peace  with  God  was  hers.     I  felt 


FAHAN.  55 


— 's  death  so  much,  and  the  circumstance  that 
of  none  who  have  died  since  I  came  here,  could 
I  look  to  more  than  a  hope  of  a  deathbed 
change  ;  I  prayed  that  the  next  might  be  one 
of  whom  I  could  feel  certain ;  the  answer 
came,  little  M.  W.  and  Mrs.  L.  have  joined 
the  heavenly  choir." 

*'  March  28th. — On  my  way  to  see  M.  A.  R. 
to-day,  the  Lord,  I  trust,  sent  me  a  word  of 
such  beauty  and  encouragement.  Isaiah  xxxv. 
8,  '  A  highway  shall  be  there  and  a  way,  and  it 
shall  be  called  the  way  of  holiness,  the  unclean 
shall  not  pass  over  it,  but  (margin,  for  he  shall 
be  with  them)  the  wayfaring  men  though  fools 
shall  not  err  therein ;'  oh,  what  a  blessed  pro- 
mise !  The  way  of  holiness,  which  seems  so 
unattainable^  He  will  give  help  to  walk  in  to 
those  who  seek  it;  even  fools,  poor  weak  foolish 
sinful  ones,  such  as  I,  shall  not  err  therein,  shall 
maintain  a  consistent  walk,  if  we  only  see  His 
presence  here  promised,  '  for  he  shall  be  with 
them.'  Oh,  be  so  with  me,  Lord !  guiding, 
guarding  my  footsteps,  that  they  err  not  in  the 
way  of  holiness." 


56  FAHAN. 


*'  April  iSth. — It  is  long  since  I  wrote.  Pas- 
sion week  with  its  sacred  services  and  many 
privileges  is  passed.  The  coming  week  seems 
to  promise  trial  of  a  kind  which  I  feel  most 
sensibly,  and  yet  cannot  explain  to  friends.  I 
am  going  to  E.'s  wedding ;  gay  scenes  are  be- 
fore me ;  may  I  not  by  my  narrow-mindedness 
disgrace  the  holy  name  I  bear,  and  put  my 
Saviour  to  shame.  Oh,  may  I  have  grace  to 
perceive  and  know  what  I  ought  to  do  to  pre- 
serve the  right  medium.  How  beautifully  ap- 
propriate is  this  vveek's  collect,  '  Follow  the 
blessed  steps  of  His  most  holy  life  ! '  Oh,  for 
some  of  the  spirit  in  which  he  went  to  the  mar- 
riage feast !  Oh,  so  to  shine  in  His  reflected 
light  as  to  attract  some  to  Him,  and  not  repel 
them  from  Him  !" 

''  May  i^th. — I  am  weighed  down  sometimes 
with  the  sense  of  responsibility  and  short- 
coming. With  this  crushing  feeling  I  was 
coming  home  this  evening,  taking  my  Satur- 
day's review  of  the  past  week,  but  as  I  came 
near  our  gate  the  lovely  scene  before  me 
seemed  to  lift  off  the  load  of  care :  the  church 


FAHAN.  57 


and  trees  behind  it  were  bathed  in  a  heavenly 
flood  of  Hght,  the  rays  of  the  setting  sun  ;  it 
seemed  unearthly;  I  almost  listened  for  the 
angels'  songs,  but  a  sweeter  note  perchance  to 
flesh  and  blood  was  the  assurance  brought 
home  by  the  scene  of  a  loving  Friend  Who  is 
touched  with  the  feeling  of  His  people's  infir- 
mities. I  do  not  the  less  feel  my  own  short- 
comings, but  I  feel  in  my  weakness  the  strength 
engaged  for  me; — the  sweet  promise;  *  All  that 
the  Father  giveth  me  shall  come  to  me ; '  shall 
come,  however  far  short  human  instrumentality 
falls  of  their  need.  His  crown  shall  not  want 
a  jewel,  but  if  believers  do  not  live  up  to  their 
privileges,  if  they  tire  and  faint,  their  crowns 
may  be  less  bright  because  they  will  not  avail 
themselves  of  the  honour  He  allows  them,  of 
being  His  instruments  in  winning  souls.  They 
will  not  be  less  safe,  but  less  happy;  further 
from  Him,  perhaps,  because  in  a  lower  place 
in  heaven.  I  would  be  ambitious  of  a  high 
place  there  ;  nearer,  Jesus,  to  Thee.  Oh,  for 
a  heart  burning  with  love  to  Jesus." 

**  Whitsunday. — The  deep  feeling  of  thanks- 


58  FAHAN. 


giving  that  I  am  a  member  of  the  Church  of 
England,  which  often  makes  me  class  it  among 
my  many  mercies,  was  never  more  deep  than 
to-day.  The  commemoration  of  the  first  be- 
stowal of  that  gift  of  gifts,  the  Holy  Spirit,  is 
indeed  a  holy  season,  a  da}^  much  to  be  thought 
of  in  prayer  beforehand,  and  not  to  be  forgotten 
when  past.  It  seems  such  hallowed  ground,  I 
grudge  that  its  hours  have  nearly  fled.  Oh, 
the  lovely  promises  connected  with  this  day, 
the  chain  of  gems,  brightest  and  best  that 
which  names  Him  Teacher  and  Remem- 
brancer. How  much  I  need  Him !  Lord,  on 
me,  and  on  all  dear,  mother,  sister,  brother, 
let  this  blessing  come  ;  give  to  Mr.  A.  a  double 
portion  of  Thy  Spirit,  and  oh  !  for  Fahan, 
water  it  also,  and  bless  our  dear,  dear  Church 
and  its  ministers,  and  keep  its  beautiful  ser- 
vices intact.     Thank  God  for  them." 

*'  October  ^rd. — Went  up  before  breakfast  to 
see  Mrs.  B.,  who  I  heard  was  worse.  A  party 
of  friends  were  staying  in  the  house  and  I  was 
to  take  them  to  Dunree,  so  feared  I  might  not 
have  time  later.     She  seemed  happy;  no  mur- 


FAHAN.  59 


mur;  not  the  old  longing  for  death,  but  a 
trusting  dependence  on  Christ's  finished  work 
for  her.  As  we  sat  at  breakfast  after  my  re- 
turn, Mrs.  P.  came  in  a  distracted  state ;  her 
child  was  fearfully  burned.  'The  doctor  is 
from  home,  and  the  minister  is  from  home,  and 
oh,  Miss  Jones,  you  must  come;  all  my  de- 
pendence is  on  you.'  I  could  get  no  particu- 
lars from  her,  so  collecting  all  I  thought  neces- 
sary, I  rushed  off  up  the  hill  and  arrived  at  the 
cottage  before  the  mother.  The  child  was  in- 
deed a  fearful  sight ;  from  the  waist  upwards  a 
skinless  mass ;  the  water  they  had  thrown  over 
it  to  extinguish  the  flames  had  brought  off  the 
skin  ;  it  lay  shivering  in  the  father's  arms, 
wrapped  up  in  cloths  wet  with  buttermilk  ;  the 
house  was  full  of  neighbours,  and  before  I 
could  do  much  the  mother  came  in.  Her 
screams  were  fearful,  so  both  for  her  own  sake 
and  the  child's,  I  persuaded  her  to  leave  the 
house.  With  flour  and  cotton  I  dressed  the 
wounds,  merely  putting  flour  on  the  face,  and 
left  it,  feeling  almost  hopeless.  I  was  little  in- 
clined for  our  day's  excursion,  but  our  friends 


6o  FAHAN. 


were  waiting  and  we  started.  On  my  return 
I  asked  eagerly,  and  was  told  the  doctor  had 
seen  it  at  two  o'clock,  and  said  it  could  not 
live. 

*'  It  died  at  eight  that  night.  T  went  up 
next  morning  as  I  had  promised,  I  dreaded  the 
going,  but  found  the  neighbours  gathered  in 
and  I  in  a  crowd  when  I  would  have  given 
worlds  to  be  alone,  yet  I  was  glad  I  had  gone. 
I  was  asked  to  read,  and  did  so.  I  scarcely 
know  who  were  there,  for  I  could  not  see  well, 
but  they  seemed  to  be  mostly  men,  and  some  to 
whom  I  have  not  spoken  before.  I  tried  to  say 
none  were  too  young  to  die,  and  to  speak  of 
the  only  preparation,  and  so  bring  the  question 
home  to  each  :  am  I  ready?  As  I  left  I  longed 
so  for  quiet  that  I  was  almost  sorry  to  meet 
dear  Mr.  A.,  who  had  returned  late  the  evening 
before.  After  a  short  talk  we  parted,  I  to  see 
M.  A.  R.  and  G.  G.,  both  very  ill ;  on  my  way 
home  I  met  Mr.  A.  again,  and  he  asked  me 
to  go  with  him  to  Mrs.  B.,  to  whom  he  was 
to  administer  the  communion.  I  felt  this  was 
just  the    soothing   my  worn,   distracted   mind 


FAHAN,  6l 


needed,  but  I  did  not  foresee  all  the  comfort 
that  blessed  communion  was  to  bring.  I  thank 
God  for  it." 

"  October  2yth,  1858.— I  have  a  friend  less  in 
the  world  to-night,  one  more  in  heaven.  Dear 
old  Mrs.  R.  has  gone  home ;  a  remembrancer, 
perhaps  of  poor  unworthy  me  before  the  throne. 
The  walls  of  heaven  are  ringing  with  her  '  new 
born  melody,'  and  in  my  ears  come  the  echo  of 
her  words  to  me,  '  I  have  been  at  school  and 
hearing  all  my  life,  but  till  you  came,  I  knew 
nothing  of  these  things  but  that  God  was 
above  me.  You  will  get  a  blessing  for  what 
you  have  done  for  me.'  Ten  days  ago  she 
said,  '  I  am  going  home ;  if  I  don't  see  you 
again,  God  bless  you  and  yours.  I  can't 
say  all  I  feel,  but  God  knows  I  love  you.' 
How  good  and  kind  God  is  to  give  m,e  this 
encouragement !  but  to  Him  alone  be  the  glory 
and  praise." 

"  October  2gth.—Mr.  —  died  this  morning  ;  he 
was  happy,  very  happy  all  through  his  illness, 
and  now  as  he  lies  a  corpse,  the  blessed  spirit 
fled,  it  has  seemed  to  me  as  if  God  has  been 


62  FAHAN. 


very  near  Fahan  lately ;  within  these  few 
weeks,  the  gates  of  heaven  have  unfolded  to 
receive  three  new  bright  spirits  to  swell  the 
anthem  there,  the  glory— glory— glory.  And 
I  ;  how  have  I  longed  to  go  home  too !  how 
long  this  life  seems  !  Mine  is  a  very  happy  life 
here,  but  for  sin  and  all  my  shortcomings 
which  weigh  at  times  upon  me,  when  I  cannot 
cast  the  burden  on  my  Jesus.  It  seems  so 
selfish  to  mourn  those  who  have  gone  home ; 
how  could  we  and  our  love  supply  half  the  joy 
they  now  have  !  " 

*'  April  2^th. — This  evening  I  was  very 
weary;  the  great  joy  of  getting  my  darling 
mother  and  sister  back  after  their  fortnight's 
absence ;  the  delight  of  again  hstening  to  their 
voices  made  me,  I  fear,  ready  for  an  excuse  to 
stay  at  home,  but  the  thought  of  the  poor,  of 
Mrs.  B.,  who  would  be  expecting  me,  over- 
came the  desire,  and  I  went.  By  the  way  I 
thought  Mr.  A.'s  Easter  word  of  comfort  on 
Mark  xvi.  3,  might  refresh  her;  I  felt  its  force 
doubly  as  I  recalled  it  in  order  to  tell  its  pre- 
cious  messasre   to   weak    believers ;    and   then 


FAHAN.  63 


the  joy  of  her  tear-choked  words,  '  you  have 
brought  me  the  message  I  needed  to-night.'  I 
might  sit  at  her  feet,  sweet  Christian,  and 
learn  of  her,  and  yet  God  sent  me  to  cheer 
her  by  repeating  His  servant's  words.  *  Truly 
out  of  the  mouth  of  babes  doth  He  perfect 
praise.' " 

"  i^th. — I  felt  much  the  soothing  influence  of 
the  scenery  to-day :  the  bank  of  wild  roses  on 
the  sand  hills  above  the  strand;  the  sunset 
seen  from  Buncrana ;  then  the  full  moon,  in  all 
its  grandeur,  sailing  over  the  sky  and  then  dis- 
appearing behind  a  heavy  cloud,  silvering  its 
outline;  all  these,  one  after  the  other,  came 
with  a  force  that  seemed  to  speak  peace.  It  is 
your  heavenly  Father  that  gives  you  this  enjoy- 
ment. I  did  bless  him  for  my  creation  and  for 
that  of  this  lovely  earth." 

"  2Sth. — A  Sunday  at  home,  doing  nothing, 
but,  I  trust,  learning  much.  I  had  overtaxed 
my  voice,  cold  settled  in  it,  and  for  some  days 
it  has  been  inaudible.  It  seems  as  if  by  taking 
it  away  for  a  time  my  God  were  going,  as  it 
were,  to  take  my  education  into  His  own  hands; 


64  FAHAN. 


it  may  be  to  force  that  preparation  of  the  heart, 
that  learning  of  Him  and  from  Him  which 
came  before  Isaiah's  lips  were  touched  with 
the  live  coal  and  he  was  sent  forth  to  teach 
others.  God  grant  that  I  may  learn  His  lessons. 
And  though  it  will  come  home  sometimes  that 
it  is  a  severe  trial  that  I  cannot  make  my  poor 
hear  me,  yet  that  very  feeling  shows  how  much 
I  need  the  lesson,  thinking,  as  it  were,  that  I 
cannot  be  done  without.  Lord,  if  it  be  Thy 
will  to  take  away  my  voice  for  long,  draw  me 
nearer  to  Thyself  and  teach  me  to  know  Thee 
more,  to  sit  at  Jesus'  feet  and  learn  His  word." 
God's  word  was  indeed  the  rule  of  her  life 
and  her  daily  study.  She  truly  hungered  for 
the  bread  of  life,  and  fed  day  by  day  on  the 
written  word.  With  her  it  was  no  mere  read- 
ing of  a  few  chapters  but  searching  the  Scrip- 
tures, comparing  passage  with  passage,  and 
storing  her  heart  and  memory  with  the  truths 
she  thus  learned.  I  think  it  was  in  November, 
1856,  that  my  aunt  Esther  gave  her  a  treasury 
Bible  as  her  birthday  gift.  She  thus  notices  it 
in  her  journal; — 


FAHAN.  65 


**  This  morning  came  aunt  E.'s  birthday  gift, 
— a  treasury  Bible ;  a  new  talent  given  to  me  ; 
Lord  give  me  grace  to  use  it  aright.  And  do 
bless  the  kind  and  loving  giver,  and  enable  me 
more  and  more  to  show  my  love  to  her." 

She  afterwards  wrote  to  a  friend  : — "  Aunt  E. 
has  always  loved  me  very  much,  but  she  never 
did  anything  for  me  half  so  valuable  as  when 
she  gave  me  that  Bible." 

A  few  passages  from  her  journal  about  this 
time  may  shov/  how  she  meditated  on  God's 
word,  and  drew  from  its  sacred  pages  the 
strength  and  comfort  for  her  daily  walk : — 

*' May  12th, — For  some  time  I  have  been 
cheered  by  the  words,  '  The  hand  of  the  Lord 
is  upon  all  them  for  good  that  fear  Him.'  On 
them,  leading  them  to  seek  Him ;  an  them, 
when  they  have  found  Him,  for  good ;  making 
all  things,  every  little  incident,  every  text  they 
read,  every  good  thing  they  hear,  every  thought 
He  suggests,  teach  them  some  lesson,  lead  them 
some  step  onward.  Yes,  His  hand  is  in  all 
things  on  His  people  for  good. 

"  The  lollowing  verse  seems  to  me  a  motto 

F 


66  FAHAN. 


with  which  I  should  .strive  to  sanctify  every 
thought  and  feehng: — 'I  will  go  in  the  strength 
of  the  Lord,  I  will  make  mention  of  Thy 
righteousness  even  of  Thine  only,'  Psalm  Ixxi. 
1 6,  in  connection  with  our  Lord's  own  declara- 
tion, *  Without  me,  ye  can  do  nothing.'  In 
every  effort  for  the  glory  of  God  and  good  of 
men,  these  texts  must  be  acted  out  in  the 
length  and  breadth  of  their  spirit.  May  I  re- 
member also  to  give  none  occasion  to  the  enemy 
to  blaspheme. 

"Another  wonderful  text  so  expresses  the 
love  and  condescension  of  God  in  employing  us 
sinful  creatures  as  His  agents  in  doing  good  to 
the  souls  of  our  fellow-men  : — *  But  as  we  were 
allowed  of  God  to  he  put  in  trust  with  the  Gospel, 
even  so  we  speak  not  as  pleasing  men,  but 
God  who  trieth  the  hearts.'  i  Thess.  ii.  4. 
His  goodness  is  expressed  in  the  *  allowed  ;* 
our  responsibility  in  the  'put  in  trust.'  Our 
solemn  obligation  is  to  remember  Whose  ser- 
vants we  are ;  we  cannot  serve  two  masters, 
therefore,  we  must  not  seek  to  please  men,  but 
God.     This  must  be  our  aim,  and  angels  have 


FAHAN. 


67 


none  higher,  to  please  God.  How  forcibly 
came  home  the  Saviour's  words,  *  Without  Me, 
ye  can  do  nothing/  for  the  God  whom  we  are 
to  please  trieth  the  hearts.  Sinners  in  thought, 
word,  and  deed,  how  can  we  of  ourselves  please 
the  heart-searching  God?  but  we  can  appear 
in  the  robe  purchased  for  us  and  freely  offered 
to  us,  and  our  works  may  in  Jesus  be  not  only 
acceptable  but  pleasing  to  God.  But  for 
this,  how  close  we  must  keep  to  Jesus,  cling  to 
him !  nothing  less  will  do ;  only  in  Him  can 
we  appear  before  God,  only  by  His  help  can  we 
please  God." 

"Nov,  ist.—-'l  am  come  that  ye  might  have 
life,  and  that  ye  might  have  it  more  abundantly.* 
Truly  the  Christian  must  not  stand  still;  the 
Saviour  came  not  only  to  save,  not  only  that 
we  might  have  some  life,  a  dim  spark,  a 
mere  existence,  but  that  we  might  have  it 
more  abundantly;  might  grow  in  grace,  in 
knowledge,  in  holiness,  in  beauty,  in  useful- 
ness." 

"  Nov.  ^rd. — I  have  for  some  nights  gone  to 
bed  thinking  over  that  sweet  text  (oh,  that  I 

F  2 


68  FAHAN. 


could  enter  into  its  depths  !) : — Jeremiah  xxix. 
II,  '  I  know  the  thoughts  that  I  think  towards 
you,  saith  the  Lord,  thoughts  of  peace  and  not 
of  evil,  to  give  you  an  expected  end.'  '  God  so 
loved  the  world  that  He  sent  His  Son  to  die  for 
us.'  God  pleads  and  entreats  with  us  to  come 
to  Him ;  He  bares  His  heart  to  us  that  we  may 
see  the  love  laid  up  there  for  each  and  all,  '  I 
know  the  thoughts  that  I  think  towards  you.* 
You,  every  one  of  you,  whosoever  will  appro- 
priate to  himself  these  words :  *  I,  the  Lord, 
who  search  the  heart ;  I,  who  am  not  a  man  to 
lie,  but  the  Lord  Jehovah,  I  say  to  you,  poor, 
sinful,  wretched,  lost  sinner  though  you  be,  I 
know  the  thoughts  that  I  think  towards  you,* 
and  what  are  those  thoughts  ?  are  they  con- 
suming, destroying  thoughts  ?  He  who  cannot 
look  at  sin  might  well  say,  '  I  will  destroy  them 
in  a  moment ;  I  will  not  spare — .'  But  no, 
the  thunders  of  Sinai  would  but  harden  the 
heart ;  the  tones  are  of  the  still  small  voice ; 
they  declare  God's  thoughts  to  be  of  peace  and 
not  of  evil. 

"  Another  text  I  have  been  thinking  much  of 


FAHAN.  69 


is,  Psalm  xxxiii.  18,  19,  especially,  '  To  keep 
them  alive  in  famine.'  When  panting  after  the 
living  waters  of  salvation,  and  the  fountain 
seems  closed  to  the  longing  soul,  when  Christ 
is  not  to  be  found,  because  as  yet  not  rightly 
sought ;  oh,  how  cheering  to  think  that  He  yet 
waits  to  be  gracious,  and  that  meanwhile  he 
will  keep  the  soul  alive  in  the  famine,  till  He 
Himself  speaks,  *  Take,  eat  :  this  is  my  body 
which  is  given  for  you,  even  you  !'" 

'^  Nov.  2^rd, — Read  Matthew  i.  to-day  ;  the 
two  names  here  given  to  Christ  should  teach 
us  much, — Jesus — Saviour.  If  in  temporal 
danger,  what  more  cheering  sound  than  the 
news  of  an  approaching  deliverer,  able  and 
willing  to  save;  so,  to  sin-bound  and  con- 
demned sinners,  what  sound  more  sweet  than 
that  name  which  tells  of  safety,  if  we  only  feel 
our  need  and  seek  it  ?  Then  the  meaning  here 
given,  'Jesus,  for  He  shall  save  His  people 
from  their  sins.'  Not  only  from  the  punish- 
ment but  from  the  thing  itself;  from  the  power 
and  dominion  as  well  as  the  condemnation  of 
sin.     Take  it  in  its  close  home-sense,  He  shall 


70  FAHAN. 


save  me.  Each  may  take  the  name  of  Jesus  as 
a  personal  promise  of  salvation,  as  the  pledge 
and  seal  to  each.  His  name  is  Jesus,  for  He 
shall  save  me,  and  as  sure  as  this  is  His  name, 
will  He  give  salvation  to  all  who  seek  it  through 
Him  and  Him  alone.     Then,  His  other  name, 

*  Emmanuel,  God  with  us,'  tells  of  Jesus  being 
a  man  as  well  as  God, — our  fellow,  fellow-man, 
fellow-sufferer,  one  of  fellow-feeling.  He  can 
be  touched  with  the  feeling  of  our  infirmities, 
for  '  He  has  felt  the  same  '  temptation  ;  He  was 

*  tempted  of  Satan.'  The  feeling  of  being  sepa- 
rated from  God,  '  My  God  !  my  God  !  why  hast 
Thou  forsaken  me  ?'  The  separation  caused 
by  sin  He  tasted  for  us,  that  He  might  feel  for 
us,  though  Himself  without  sin  ; — poverty,  de- 
sertion of  friends,  sorrow,  suffering,  hunger, 
thirst,  the  heart-desolation  among  those  who 
cannot  sympathize.  He  felt  all  that  He  might 
feel  for  us.  He  is  God,  but  God  with  us  in 
nearness,  love,  and  sympathy." 

"June  2Sth,  1857. — I  had  a  delightful  morn- 
ing before  going  to  church,  studying  Ezekiel 
xlvii.,  to  which  dear  M.  N.  called  my  attention 


FAHAN.  71 


yesterday.  I  find  my  treasury  Bible  of  great 
use  ;  not  only  as  a  help  to  explain  Scripture  by 
Scripture,  but  also  as  an  opener  up  of  many 
parts  of  which  I  might  perhaps  otherwise  never 
think  ;  and  oh,  how  every  text  shows  more  and 
more  what  a  mine  the  Bible  is ;  how  inex- 
haustible and  how  precious ! 

"  The  waters  in  verse  i  are  types  of  the  living 
waters  so  freely  promised,  and  of  which  all  are 
invited  to  take.  Margaret  spoke  of  the  men- 
tion of  the  altar  here  as  sending  us  to  the  cross 
of  Christ  as  their  source, — the  purifying  water 
and  the  cleansing  blood  ;  but  what  delighted 
me  most  were  the  references  on  the  comparative 
depths  of  the  water,  '  The  waters  were  to  the 
ankles,'— the  first  outpouring  of  the  Spirit.  Luke 
xxiv.  49  ;  Acts  ii.  4,  33  ;  x.  45,  46 ;  xi.  16,  18. 

" '  Then  the  waters  were  to  the  knees  and 
loins,' — the  gradual  spread  of  the  Gospel  and 
its  being  offered  to  the  Gentiles.  Acts  xiii.  42- 
48  ;  Romans  xv.  16  ;  Col.  i.  27. 

"  Then  *  waters  to  swim  in  ;'  the  looking  for- 
ward to  that  glorious  time  when  *  the  know- 
ledge   of   the    Lord    shall    cover   the    earth.* 


72  FAHAN. 


Isaiah  xi.  9  ;  Daniel  ii.  34,  35  ;  Habakkuk  ii.  14  ; 
Matt.  xiii.  31,  32  ;  Rev.  vii.  g  ;  xi.  15  ;  xxi.  2-4. 

*'  Then  the  reference  to  the  question,  verse  6, 
*Hast  thou  seen  this?'  is  to  ]\Iatt.  xiii.  51, 
where  Jesus  asks,  *  Have  ye  understood  all 
these  things  ?'  showing  that  it  is  He  alone 
who  can  open  them  to  our  spiritual  understand- 
ings. In  verse  8,  where  the  waters  issue  in 
all  directions,  the  references  show  so  beauti- 
fully the  Lord's  promises  of  provision  for  His 
people's  every  need.  The  promises  :  Isaiah 
XXXV.  1-7  ;  xli.  17-19  ;  xliii.  20  ;  xliv.  3-5  ;  xlix. 
9  ;  Jeremiah  xxxi.  9. 

*'  '  Wherever  the  waters  come,  they  shall 
bring  healLig  :  wherever  the  Gospel  is  preached 
among  the  heathens  many  shall  be  saved.'* 
Isaiah  xi.  6-9;  Malachi  i.  11 ;  Matthew  viii.  11. 

"  Verse  9  teaches  the  universality  of  the  offer 
of  salvation.  John  iii.  16 ;  xi.  26.  '  Every- 
thing shall  live,' — the  type  of  Jesus  the  life  is 
shown  in  the  life-giving  properties  of  the 
waters.  John  v.  25  ;  vi.  63  ;  xi.  25  ;  xiv.  6,  19  ; 
Romans  viii.  2  ;  i  Cor.  xv.  22 ;  Eph.  ii.  1-5, 
'The  great  multitude  of  fish  '  denotes  the  mul- 


FAHAN.  73 


titudes  from  every  land  and  age  which  shall  be 
saved.  Isaiah  xlix.  12;  Ix.  3;  Zech.  ii.  11; 
viii.  21,  22.  *  For  they  shall  be  healed,' — the 
Lord  is  Himself  the  healer.     Exodus  xv.  26." 

^^  August  is^.— What  should  I  be  without  my 
Bible  ?  It  is,  indeed,  a  rich  mine  of  treasure, 
and  I  think  I  am  learning  more  to  dig  into  it. 
Job  xxxviii.  26,  27,  may  indeed  come  home  to 
me ;  the  tender  herb  is  the  seed  sown,  but  not 
yet  shov/ing  itself,  so  that  we  doubt  its  life; 
yet  one  of  the  designs  of  the  thick  cloud  is  to 
cause  it  to  spring  forth.  Luke  viii.  15.  Then 
Job  xxxvii.  12,  13,  we  see  the  cloud  comes  to 
accomplish  the  Lord's  ends ;  these  are  three : 
— For  correction  ;  for  his  land,  or  for  mercy. 

"  For  correction  :  '  He  may  send  trouble,  as 
to  David  His  servant,  to  reveal  to  him  his  sin 
as  against  Gcd.'    Psalm  li. 

"  For  his  land :  to  give  to  those  who  are 
His  the  assurance  that  they  belong  to  Him. 

**  For  mercy  :  to  turn  our  thoughts  more  and 
more  to  Him ;  to  awaken  those  who  sleep  the 
sleep  of  death." 

*^  August  i^th. — I  was  much  struck  to-day  by 


74  FAHAN. 


Job  xxviii.  25,  *  He  weigheth  the  waters  by 
measure/  contrasted  with  John  iii.  34,  '  He 
giveth  not  His  spirit  by  measure.'  He  weighs 
the  trial  and  affliction  He  sends,  lest  one  drop 
too  much  should  fall  to  His  people's  lot,  but 
for  the  good  gifts  of  his  Son  and  Spirit  there 
is  no  limit.  *  Open  thy  mouth  wide  and  I  will 
fill  it.'  It  is  a  word  of  reproach  against  His 
people  that  they  limited  Him.  They  took  not 
somewhat  of  Him, — took  no  heed  to  the  pro- 
mise, '  Ask  and  ye  shall  have.'  " 

We  might  fill  volumes  with  passages  such 
as  these,  showing  how  she  thought  over  the 
verses  she  read,  and  tried  to  draw  teaching 
from  all ;  but  I  must  pass  on  to  speak  of  what 
can  be  learned  only  incidentally  from  her  jour- 
nal ;  the  quiet  beauty  of  her  home  life.  Visi- 
tors in  the  house  saw  the  simple  unaffected 
girl,  so  quiet  and  unpretending,  though  ever 
lad3dike  and  cheerful,  and  knew  nothing  of 
the  deep  inner  life  which  was  the  motive  power 
of  her  consistent  walk.  But  they  could  not  fail 
to  see  that  while  her  days  were  spent  among 
the  poor,   no  home  duty  was  ever  neglected, 


FAHAN.  75 


and  her  mother's  slightest  wish  would  at  all 
times  make  her  give  up  her  own  plans.  Long 
before  the  party  assembled  in  the  breakfast- 
room,  Agnes  might  be  seen  returning  from  the 
garden  laden  with  flowers,  which  she  delighted 
to  arrange  in  the  sitting-rooms  with  a  skill  and 
taste  quite  peculiar  to  herself.  If  the  servants 
happened  not  to  be  sufficiently  skilful  to  un- 
dertake all  that  was  required,  she  would  spend 
hours  in  the  kitchen  preparing  confectionery, 
etc.,  and  when  my  mother  came  down  in  the 
morning  to  give  orders,  she  frequently  found 
that  Agnes  had  been  in  the  kitchen  from  five 
o'clock,  and  that  all  was  prepared.  In  all  the 
arrangements  of  the  farm  and  garden  she  took 
the  greatest  interest,  and  was  ever  ready  to 
do  anything  to  help  my  mother,  and  save  her 
from  anxiety  and  fatigue.  On  first  coming  to 
Fahan,  I  find  from  her  journals,  it  had  been 
sometimes  a  great  trial  to  her  to  give  up  her 
visiting  of  the  poor  when  guests  at  home  re- 
quired her  attention,  and  she  even  questioned 
with  herself  how  far  it  was  right  to  yield  the 
point,  but  it  was  not  long  before  her  peculiarly 


76  FAHAN. 


just  and  calm  judging  mind  had  discerned 
where  the  line  was  to  be  drawn;  and  it  was 
often  a  marvel  to  those  who  knew  where  her 
heart  lay,  to  see  with  what  sweet  cheerfulness 
she  would  devote  herself  to  the  amusement  of 
the  friends  and  relatives  who  visited  us  during 
the  summer  months.  A  year  and  a  half  after 
my  mother  and  she  returned  to  Fahan  House, 
I  had  been  left  a  widow,  and  once  more  joined 
the  home  circle.  Those  only  w^ho  knew  the 
deep  tenderness  of  dear  Agnes's  character,  and 
the  intense  love  she  ever  bore  me,  could  guess 
at  the  affectionate  sympathy  with  which  she 
w^atched  over  me  at  that  time,  and  how  with 
gentle  persuasion  she  drew  me  on  to  join  her 
in  walks  and  visits  to  the  poor :  the  desire 
to  give  me  an  interest  again  in  life,  making 
her  forget  her  timidity,  and  admit  me  even  to 
her  Bible  readings  in  the  cottages,  where  I 
learned  many  a  lesson  from  her  simple  prac- 
tical teaching.  Of  her  it  might  indeed  be  said, 
whatever  her  hand  found  to  do,  she  did  it  with 
her  might ;  she  saw  what  many,  alas,  of  the 
good  and  useful  people  of  the  present  day  fail 


FAHAN. 


77 


to  see,  that  God  may  be  obeyed  and  glorified 
as  truly  in  the  small  details  of  domestic  life, 
if  done  unto  Him,  as  in  the  greater  missionary 
work  abroad. 

The  following  letters  have  been  sent  to  me 
by  the  Lady  Secretary  of  the  Young  Women's 
Christian  Association,  and  seem  to  have  been 
v/ritten  between  1856  and  i860  : — 

"  Fahan,  Londonderry. 

**My  dear  Miss  S. — Though  I.  cannot  yet 
call  myself  a  member  of  the  Young  Women's 
Association,  you  will,  I  am  sure,  excuse  a 
stranger's  addressing  you  in  the  familiar  style. 

*'  When  Miss  Williams  first  proposed  my 
joining  the  Association,  I  felt  most  strongly 
what  Miss  H.  speaks  of  in  her  letter,— a 
shrinking  from  making  public  my  feeble  ef- 
forts, and  a  fear  lest  the  love  or  desire  of  the 
praise  of  man  should  in  any  degree  take  the 
place  of  the  only  true  motive.  I  was  glad  to 
receive  the  packet  of  letters  you  so  kindly  sent 
me,  hoping  to  learn  much  from  them,  yet  de- 
termined not  to  become  a  member  on  the  con- 
dition of  a  quarterly  letter.    As  I  read  on,  how- 


78  FAHAN. 


ever,  I  felt  that  I  must  join  such  a  blessed 
Association ;  that  I  must  write  to  commend 
myself  and  the  work  given  me  to  do,  to  the 
united  prayers  of  the  Christian  band.  How 
the  consciousness  of  prayer  being  offered  up 
for  us,  nerves  us  to  struggle  on  in  our  Saviour's 
strength,  through  difficulty  and  discourage- 
ment !  I  myself  am  a  very  young  woman, 
and,  as  such  may  claim  to  be  remembered  in 
your  prayers.  I  can  look  back  and  bless  God 
that  I  was  once  a  member  of  Miss  W.'s  Sun- 
day-school class ;  now,  though  myself  a  teacher, 
I  would  gladly  resume  my  position  as  scholar. 
Enough  of  myself,  and  now  for  my  work.  Its 
sphere  is  a  small  country  parish,  whose  de- 
voted minister  allows  me  free  access  to  the 
people. 

**  In  June  last  I  returned  to  this  my  former 
home  after  some  years'  absence.  The  girl, 
grown  into  a  woman,  was  cordially  received  for 
her  parents'  sakes.  It  was  indeed  no  light  bless- 
ing to  feel  myself  from  the  first  received  as  a 
well-wisher.  Those'  whom  I  remembered  a 
little,   were    first    visited,    the    homes   of  the 


FAHAN.  79 


school-children  next,  the  old,  crippled,  infirm, 
and  sick,  as  the  case  of  each  in  turn  became 
known,  till  now  my  visiting-book  contains  the 
names  of  sixty  families,  more  or  less  regularly 
visited,  according  to  circumstances, — twice  ^ 
week,  weekly,  fortnightly,  or  monthly.  I  never 
willingly  exceed  the  last  term. 

"  I  desire  to  be  regarded  by  all  as  a  Scrip- 
ture-reader ;  everything  else,  I  try  to  make  subr 
servient  to  this  great  end.  The  system  of  lend- 
ing tracts  I  have  adopted,  not  only  for  their 
own  sake,  but  also  that  their  regular  exchange 
may  serve  for  an  excuse,  as  it  were,  to  enter 
the  house  Bible  in  hand.  I  find  my  way  thus 
made  easier  among  the  thirty  families  where 
this  system  is  carried  out;  but. for  this,  I 
should  often  find  an  excuse,  as  I  do  sometimes 
among  the  others,  to  allow  my  call  to  merge 
into  a  mere  visit.  The  sooner  I  begin,  the 
more  readily  is  it  understood.  If  I  cannot  stay 
long,  they  feel  that  the  '  one  thing  needful '  is 
to  be  the  first  object,  though,  in  this  case,  I 
try  to  return  soon  again,  and  spend  a  time  in 
listening  to  their  tales  of  sorrow  and  difficulty, 


8o  FAHAN. 


longing  to  be  regarded  as  a  friend,  and  trust- 
ing that  as  such  my  message  may  come  home 
to  their  hearts  through  the  Spirit's  blessing 
on  my  instrumentality. 

"  I  have  dwelt  thus  at  length  on  my  system, 
hoping  for  advice  on  the  subject,  and  also  for 
some  hints  as  to  the  best  means  of  gaining 
access  to  the  hearts  of  the  people.  Few,  I 
suppose,  have  their  time  so  fully  at  their  own 
disposal  as  I-  have.  When  I  read  letters 
from  many  more  fitted  for  the  work,  laid  aside 
from  active  employment,  and  thought  of  my 
ov/n  unvaried  health  and  strength,  and  yet 
inward  weakness  and  frailty,  I  thought  who 
made  me  to  differ.  Even  in  my  work  I  gain 
fresh  vigour.  I  have  long  walks  to  take  daily 
to  the  various  cottages,  but  the  way  lies 
through  beautiful  scenery,  in  sea  and  mountain 
air,  and  my  practice  of  disregarding  weather, 
has,  with  God's  blessing,  kept  me  from  a  single 
cold  this  winter.  Then  God's  Word  often 
comes  home  more  strongly  to  my  own  heart 
as  T  read  to  the  poor,  and  try  to  make  a  lew 
simple  remarks.    As  to  capacity,  were  it  not 


FAHAN.  8l 


for  Jeremiah  i.  6-9,  17,  19,  and  the  promise 
Proverbs  xxii.  21, — were  it-  not  that  I  go  armed 
with  the  sword  of  the  Spirit,  I  should  indeed 
fear  to  go  forward.  But  in  our  weakness,  the 
promise  is  but  the  surer,  '  I  am  with  thee,'  if 
only  we  be  really  in  God's  way.  My  Sunday 
and  day-school  classes  will  not  come  under  the 
title  of  'young  women,'  neither  do  the  cases 
of  all  I  visit,  but  several  such  there  are,  and 
some  I  would  especially  desire  to  be  remem- 
bered at  the  Throne  of  Grace. 

''....  is  one  who  causes  me  much  anxiety. 
For  months  she  resisted  my  invitations  to  the 
Sunday-school.  At  the  close  of  the  year  I 
thought  of  a  plea,  '  Suppose  you  begin  the 
year  well  by  coming.'  To  my  delight,  its  first 
Sunday  saw  her  in  our  clergyman's  class.  I 
watched  for  her  each  week ;  again  she  was 
absent  on  a  slight  excuse,  now  has  returned. 
May  the  instruction  be  blessed  to  her !  She 
is  in  a  trying  position  at  home,  and  this  is  the 
only  way  of  reaching  her  at  present.  Another, 
for  whom  I  ask  your  interest,  is  of  a  difierent 
spirit.      What    that    spirit  is,  her   remark   on 

Q 


82  FA.HAN. 


John  XX.  22,  will  clearly  show,  '  He  breathed 
on  them.'  *  What  strong  w^ords ;  how  near 
they  seem  to  bring  Jesus  to  us ;  how  they 
come  home  !'  She  has  long  been  ill ;  every 
effort  to  come  to  church  is  followed  by  a  re- 
lapse, but  she  longs  after  God's  house.  She 
is  always  so  happy  when  strong  enough  to 
kneel  in  prayer.  To  her  I  go  not  as  a  teacher, 
but  as  a  learner,  and  what  a  refreshment  it 
is  !  Another  poor  girl  has  been  led  far  astray. 
I  am  always  at  a  loss  how  to  deal  with  .  .  .  ., 
not  to  destroy  her  sense  of  shame  or  let  her 
motherless  sisters  think  lightly  of  her  fall, 
and  yet  not  to  break  the  bruised  reed.  I 
should  much  like  advice  on  this  subject  from 
those  more  experienced.  Though,  as  a  general 
rule,  I  am  not  an  advocate  of  Sunday  visiting 
of  the  poor,  when  time  can  be  found  during 
the  week,  I  think  it  is  well  to  give  something 
to  mark  the  day  to  those  who  can  never  at- 
tend public  worship  ;  therefore  between  services 
I  visit  two  poor  cripples,  to  read  to  and  in- 
struct them;  an  hour  every  Wednesday  is 
likewise  devoted  to  these  ;  their  only  point  in 


FAHAN.  83 


common  is  their  infirmity.  The  young  woman 
cannot  read,  but  she  is  anxious  to  learn.  I 
try  to  store  her  mind  with  hymns  and  texts 
to  think  over  in  my  absence  ;  these  she  takes 
pleasure  in  remembering  for  my  sake,  but  she 
is  yert,  I  fear,  unenlightened  with  regard  to 
the  soul's  only  Light.  I  do  not  like  to  weary 
you  by  multiplying  cases,  but  select  those  in 
which  I  am  myself  most  interested.  On  a 
mountain  slope  there  lives  a  family,  formerly 
without  any  religion.  One  of  our  summer 
showers  suddenly  swelled  the  mountain 
streamlet  into  a  torrent,  by  which  a  child  was 
carried  off.  All  night  the  parents  searched 
in  vain,  till  the  morning  light  revealed  the 
sad  tale.  I  had  never  seen  the  family  before 
this  time,  but  was  then  asked  to  visit  them. 
I  cannot  read  their  hearts,  but  I  do  know 
that  both  parents  listen  attentively  to  God's 
Word,  and  I  receive  many  thanks  for  my 
visits  and  am  entreated  soon  to  return.  The 
father,  a  shoe-maker,  lays  aside  his  work  and 
does  not  resume  it  until  the  last  word  is  said. 
The    mother    is    a   very  young   woman,    but 

G   2 


84  FAHAN. 


both  her  own  and  her  husband's  former  family 
will,  I  trust,  have  cause  to  bless  God  for  this 
accident.  My  letter  has  insensibly  lengthened. 
I  know  not  whether  it  be  necessary  to  enter 
so  fully  into  detail,  but  I  have  thus  mentioned 
some  of  my  anxieties  and  blessings,  that  you 
may  more  fully  be  able  to  realize  a  stranger's 
position  and  give  the  advice  and  help  I  need. 
I  must  apologize  for  troubling  you  with  so 
long  an  epistle,  and  request  that  if  it  be  neces- 
sary to  send  this  my  first  letter  with  the  others, 
you  will  considerably  abridge  it. 
**  I  remain  yours  truly, 

*'  In  a  common  Saviour's  service, 

"  Agnes  E.  Jones.'* 

"  Fahan,  November,  1857. 

*'  My  dear  Miss  S. — This  letter  will  pro- 
bably be  late  for  this  quarter;  indeed,  I  had 
not  thought  of  wTiting,  but  for  a  circumstance 
which  occurred  to-day.  For  the  last  month 
my  thoughts  have  been  painfully  occupied,  and 
I  have  been  away  from  home    and  my  poor; 


FAHAN.  85 


now  I  have  returned  a^ain  among  them, 
though  home  ties  will  occupy  me  more  now 
than  before.  .  .  .  My  last  visit  before  leaving 
home  was  at  the  house  where  I  called  to- 
day. About  a  year  ago,  a  young  woman— a 
Presbyterian— ran  off  with  a  Roman  Catholic. 
Her  parents  were  very  angry,  and  till  her 
baby  was  born,  when  the  mother  went  to  her, 
she  never  saw  them.  Whether  she  ever  went 
to  chapel  I  do  not  know ;  her  child  was  of 
course  taken  there  to  be  baptized.  Within 
the  last  two  months  they  have  come  to  live 
in  my  visiting  district,  and,  when  at  the  house 
where  she  lodged,  I  saw  her  two  or  three 
times.  The  husband,  however,  was  always 
present,  and  as  I  had  not  known  her  family 
until  after  she  had  left  it,  I  felt  I  must  not 
appear  too  much  interested  in  her  at  first. 
Last  week  I  paid  her  a  visit  in  her  own  house, 
having  received  a  message  that  she  would  like 
to  see  me.  The  husband  was  out,  but  a 
stranger  was  there,  before  whom  I  felt  I  must 
be  cautious.  The  poor  girl's  eyes  filled  with 
tears  when  I  went  in,  and  she  looked  so  glad 


86  FAHAN. 


to  see  me.  I  spoke  of  her  parents,  and  saw 
how  her  mother's  rare  visits  were  prized  and 
her  father's  continued  estrangement  mourned 
over.  I  told  her  that  I  saw  them  sometimes, 
and  lent  tracts  to  her  brother,  who  liked  them 
much.  I  watched  the  effect  of  this,  for  I  was 
doubtful  what  to  do.  I  longed  to  take  ad- 
vantage of  her  husband's  absence  to  speak 
to  her,  and,  a  tailor  being  generally  at  home, 
I  feared  to  lose  the  opportunity,  and  yet 
dreaded  to  get  the  poor  thing  into  trouble, 
were  the  woman  who  was  present  a  Roman 
Catholic.  I  prayed  for  direction,  and  finally 
offered  to  lend  her  tracts  and  to  read  a  chapter 
to  her.  When  I  was  leaving,  she  thanked  me 
with  tears  and  begged  me  to  repeat  my  visit. 
Yesterday,  among  other  places,  I  went  to  her 
mother's  house,  determined  to  urge  her  family 
to  visit  her  and  be  kind  to  her,  fearing  much 
the  effects  of  her  being  left  entirely  to  her 
husband's  family.  I  therefore  spoke  of  my  visit 
to  her  and  of  her  contrition  for  the  step  she 
had  taken,  dwelling  on  the  steadiness  with 
which  she  has  of  late  withstood  all  efibrts  to 


FAHAN.  87 


bring  her  to  the  chapel ;  for  a  time  none  of 
them  spoke  ;  then  the  mother  said,  '  I  would 
not  be  able  to  explain  the  contentment  it  was 
to  her  to  see  you  coming  to  visit  her.'  She 
then  told  me  that  the  poor  girl  had  said  so 
much  about  my  visit,  and  that  she  was  thank- 
ful I  had  lent  her  the  tracts  before  her  sister- 
in-law,  though  she  had  '  scowled  on  her  '  when 
she  saw  it.  She  was  anxious,  too,  for  a  Bible 
our  clergyman  promised  her.  All  this  I  men- 
tion as  showing  the  poor  girl's  state  of  mind ; 
her  great  distiess  is,  lest  the  baby  should  grow 
up  to  return  on  her  her  conduct  to  her  parents. 
Poor  thing  !  I  believe  she  is  truly  penitent, 
but  in  a  most  difficult  position.  I  want  you 
to  pray  for  her  and  for  me,  that  I  may  have 
wisdom  given  me  in  dealing  with  her. 

"  I  want  more  zeal  and  earnestness  in  my 
work,  to  speak  more  to  the  people  of  the  dear 
Saviour  I  have  found.  I  am  naturally  very 
reserved,  but  I  find  to  get  influence  over  the 
poor,  the  more  openly  one  speaks  the  better. 
I  may  not  have  much  longer  to  go  among 
them.     My  voice  is  each  day  more  easily  tired, 


SS  FAHAN. 


and  sometimes  after  reading  in  three  or  four 
houses,  I  have  to  return  home,  unable  to  exert 
it  again  that  day.  At  home,  when  trying  to 
read  aloud  in  the  evening,  my  voice  fails  me  in 
about  ten  minutes.  This  makes  me  long  the 
more  to  work  while  I  have  time.  I  have  done 
little  good  with  that  voice,  but  to  be  able  to 
continue  reading  God's  Word  to  the  people, 
as  I  have  tried  to  read  it  for  the  last  year 
and  a  half  in  this  place,  is  my  desire  ;  if  He 
has  need  of  it.  He  will  give  strength.  One 
learns  by  going  among  so  many  different  cha- 
racters, the  depths  in  God's  Word, — its  ap- 
plicability to  every  circumstance  ;  its  strength 
and  power  is  so  felt  in  contrast  to  one's  own 
weakness  and  ignorance.  I  am  sure  the  more 
we  know  for  ourselves  the  certainty  of  the 
words  of  truth,  the  more  we  shall  be  able  to 
answer  those  who  send  to  us.  That  promise  is 
such  a  sweet  one  to  take  and  plead  at  every 
cottage-door, — the  promise  of  the  Spirit  to 
teach  all  things  and  bring  Christ's  words  to 
our  remembrance. 

"  I  have  written   at   too  great    length,   but 


FAHAN.  89 


many  interruptions  have  caused  me  to  De  less 
concise  than  I  ought  to  have  been.  Poor  young 
Mrs.  M.  needs  your  prayers,  as  does  also  your 
friend, 

**  In  Christian  love, 

**  Agnes  E.  Jones." 

"  December  31,  1859. 

''Dear  Friend, — Tn  this  day  of  blessed 
revival  work  and  in  the  near  neighbourhood 
of  its  visitation,  we  have  yet,  alas  !  to  say, 

*  The  dew  falls  thick  on  all  around, 
But  our  poor  fleece  is  dry.* 

And  yet  T  cannot  but  feel  as  if  the  word  to  us 
w^ere,  '  Though  it  tarry,  wait  for  it ;'  for  more 
than  two  or  three  among  us  have  agreed  to 
pray  to  and  for  the  Holy  Spirit,  and  is  not  the 
word  sure,  '  Seek  and  ye  shall  find '?  It  is  a 
trial  of  faith  to  witness,  as  on  a  late  visit 
to  a  previously  known  locality,  the  blessed 
change  there,  and  then  to  return  and  see 
only  more  vividly  than  before  the  deadness 
among    our    own    loved    people,    but    it    is    a 


90  FAHAN. 


time  of  great  searching  of  heart.  *  Where- 
in have  I  come  short  ?'  personall}^  indivi- 
dually, and  in  relation  to  those  among  whom 
my  lot  is  cast.  It  sends  one  more  to  one's 
Bible  to  seek  the  promises,  to  one's  knees 
to  put  the  Lord  in  remembrance.  Some 
among  our  little  band  of  sisters  may  have 
witnessed,  as  all  have  heard  of  the  blessed 
revival ;  several  of  its  scenes  I  have  visited, 
one  especially,  with  which,  being  my  uncle's 
parish,  I  had  been  previously  acquainted.  I 
saw  it  there  when  the  work  was  in  its  infancy, 
again  this  month,  and  can  testify  to  the  trem- 
bling, tearful  fear  of  many,  lest  their  love  should 
wax  cold.  The  Bible  is  to  them,  indeed,  the 
Book, — their  daily  food,  as  prayer  seems  their 
life ;  companions  in  folly  are  now  watching 
each  other  as  a  mother  would  her  infant,  lest 
they  should  stumble.  One  must  see  to  under- 
stand how  every  opportunity  of  instruction  is 
prized,  no  weather  keeping  from  the  Bible- 
class  or  prayer  meeting.  Crowded  places  of 
worship  and  earnest  devout  worshippers  show 
how  every  means  of  grace  is  valued.     In  the 


FAHAN.  91 


remote  mountain  parish  of  which  I  speak, 
there  has  scarcely  been  a  blemish  to  mar  the 
beauteous  whole ;  in  towns  the  trials  and  temp- 
tations to  imposture  are  greater,  yet,  even  in 
such  places,  detractors  from  the  movement 
admit  a  great  residue  of  good,  but  in  G.  none 
have  gone  back  of  those  in  whom  a  vital 
change  appeared,  though  some  who  seemed 
awed  at  first  have  not  continued  under  the 
good  influence  ;  again,  with  respect  to  the  cases 
of  insanity  attributed  to  the  movement,  all 
have,  I  believe,  been  satisfactorily  proved  to 
be  such  as  any  excitement  would  have  caused. 
The  only  such  case  I  saw,  was  that  of  one 
who,  being  subject  to  fits  of  depression,  made 
her  being  '  struck '  a  cause  for  deep  anxiety. 
*  That's  not  for  me  !'  was  her  despairing  cry 
in  answer  to  every  quoted  promise  or  invita- 
tion. I  left  her  thus.  Four  months  after  I 
found  her  bright  and  happy.  *  I  have  never 
been  low  since ;  God  opened  my  eyes  that 
night  to  see  the  way,  and  He  has  never  shut 
them   since  !'  such  was  her  testimony. 

"  None    who    have    heard    the    cry    of   the 


92  FAHAN. 


'stricken'  could  ever  forget  it, — their  state  gave 
a  new  aspect  to  the  reality  of  sin  as  seen  in  the 
light  of  God  ;  the  prayers  of  such  seemed  to 
picture  Jacob's  wrestling,  and  after  awhile,  '  I 
know  that  Thou  wilt  save  me,'  was  uttered  in 
tones  that  seemed  indeed  the  full  assurance  of 
faith.  And  the  happy  beaming  look,  at  once 
makes  you  single  out  the  *  awakened  '  among 
all  others.  One  such  case  only  have  we  had 
here, — a  young  woman,  on  her  return  from 
hearing  Mr.  Guinness  preach  in  Derry,  felt  she 
must  stop  by  the  roadside  and  pray  ;  she  w^ould 
wait  until  at  home,  was  her  next  thought,  but 
no,  that  could  not  be  ;  before  friends  and  neigh- 
bours, she  must  stop  and  kneel  down  by  the 
hedge.  Now  she  seems  a  rejoicing  Christian. 
The  Bible  and  prayer  are  her  life,  as  bringing 
her  nearer  to  Him  v/ho  is  the  Life. 

"  A  change  in  the  residence  of  one  of  my 
cripples  left  me  a  free  hour  on  Sunday  after- 
noon ;  fliis  I  have  now  given  to  a  woman's 
class,  for  those  whom  age  or  want  of  clothing 
prevent  attending  church.  A  mile  of  steep  road 
does  not  signify  to  me  with  God-given  health 


FAHAN.  93 


and  strength,  but  it  is  an  insuperable  barrier  to 
many.  We  meet  in  the  cottage  of  a  man  who, 
as  he  humbly  sits  and  listens,  reminds  me  of 
him  who  was  clothed  and  in  his  right  mind 
after  Jesus  had  cast  out  the  evil  spirit.  On 
Christmas  Day  as  I  sat  among  the  little  group 
and  told  the  glad  news,  *  I  bring  you  tidings  of 
great  joy,  which  shall  be  to  all  people,'  and 
tried  to  bring  home  to  each  individually,  '  Unto 
you  is  born  this  day  a  Saviour,'  I  could  not  but 
feel  what  different  sounds  those  walls  had 
echoed  on  every  previous  Christmas  Day,  when 
the  oaths  of  drunkards  and  gamblers  had  been 
heard  there.  It  was  a  happy  little  meeting, 
and  though  the  unsafe  and  slippery  roads  were 
yet  more  difficult  to  tread  in  the  evening  dusk, 
there  was  an  inner  feeling  of  joy  which  made 
that  walk  to  church  a  happy  one.  *  Oh,  that 
in  this  coming  year  I  may  tell  more  of  Jesus, 
and  lead  to  Him,  Who  for  us  men  and  for  our 
salvation  came  down  from  heaven.  May  we 
all  seek  individually  to  be  daily  renewed  by  the 
Holy  Spirit,  more  and  more  to  give  our  own 
selves  to  God,  and  so  be  used  more  as  workers 


94  FAHAN. 


to£:ether  with  Him,  till  we  reach  the  blessed 
period 

'When  no  failing  comes  between 
The  service  that  we  render  Him 
And  the  service  that  we  mean.' 

May  we  all  so  meet  in  the  strength  of  Him, 
who,  when  He  promises  the  crown  to  those 
who  overcome,  adds  in  compassion  to  our  weak- 
ness, '  As  I  also  overcame  ;'  so  lovingly  remind- 
ing us,  how  He  is  *  touched  with  the  feeling  of 
our  infirmities.' 

"  Yours  in  Him, 

*'  Agnes  E.  Jones." 

"  Fa  HAN,  i860. 

*'  My  dear  Miss  S., — The  first  of  the  month 
is  perhaps  too  long  past  to  allow  of  a  letter  this 
quarter ;  and  yet  though  unable  to  write  in 
time,  I  feel  our  parish  now  so  specially  needs 
that  prayer  should  be  offered  on  its  behalf,  and 
I  myself  so  love  the  link  which  binds  to  so 
many  dear  sisters  in  Christ,  that  I  must  send  a 
few  lines. 

**  To  those  who  have  not  experienced  it,  the 


FAHAN.  95 


severing  of  the  tie  between  pastor  and  people 
may  seem  a  light  trial,  and,  when  death  is  not 
the  cause,  it  seems  selfish  to  mourn  ;  but  when 
the  '  teaching  priest '  is  the  loved  guide  and 
friend  of  young  and  old,  rich  and  poor ;  when 
on  the  weekday  one  feels  sure  of  sympathy  and 
advice  in  every  case  of  difficulty  one  brings 
before  him  ;  when  day  by  day,  in  their  homes, 
and  frequently  by  night  in  the  class  or  cottage 
lecture,  in  the  Thursday  evening  service,  and 
Friday  half-hour  prayer  meeting,  the  people 
meet  their  pastor,  whose  loving,  gentle  look 
and  manner,  as  well  as  words,  endear  him  to 
all ;  then,  indeed,  do  his  words  on  Sunday — the 
telling  of  Jesus  in  words  and  tones  which  echo 
in  their  hearts  through  the  week — find  a  way 
which  no  stranger  could  conceive. 

*'  And  now  the  news  comes,  soon  another 
shall  be  your  pastor,  and  the  whole  parish  rings 
with  lamentations.  The  male  and  female  week- 
day, the  young  men's  Sunday-school  classes 
now  at  an  end.  The  old  bedridden  woman 
cries,  '  He  was  like  a  lady  coming  in  to  see  me ; 
he  was  so  loving  when  he  told  me  so  plain  of 


96  FAHAN. 


Jesus  ;'  others  say,  '  He  carried  the  mug  of  jam, 
the  meat  or  the  old  linen  when  my  child  was  ill,' 
or  '  He  dropt  tears  with  me  when  my  wife  died  ; 
how  can  I  but  love  to  hear  him  ?'  Again,  '  He 
is  just  like  one  of  ourselves  coming  in ;  I  can 
open  my  mind  to  him  ;  nobody  is  ever  afraid 
to  speak  to  him ;'  and,  better  still,  *  I  know  by 
his  teaching  what  Jesus  means ;  I  never  read 
my  Bible  till  he  came ;'  '  I  never  understood 
my  Bible  till  he  taught  me  how  to  read  it.' 

"  The  old  man,  who  for  thirty  years  had 
never  darkened  the  church  door,  could  not  but 
go  to  hear  '  the  gentleman  preach,'  who,  on  the 
wildest  night,  came  to  the  mountain  cottage  to 
hold  his  lecture,  where  none  '  might  think 
shame  to  come  even  in  rags,'  and  so  it  was  with 
many  who  for  months  and  years  had  no  clothes 
for  church.  Among  the  young  men,  especially 
dear  Mr.  — 's  influence  was  so  blessed.  Few 
would  recognize  in  the  simple  Gospel-preacher, 
whose  whole  aim  is  to  seek  out  '  plain  words  ' 
to  set  before  an  almost  exclusively  unlettered 
congregation,  the  lofty  flights  of  fancy  and 
depths  of  learning  and  research,  which,  alike  in 


FAHAN.  97 


poetry  and  essays,  again  and  again  carried  off 
every  prize  but  a  few  years  back, — all  now  laid 
at  the  foot  of  the  cross,  and  every  thought  now 
being  how  best  to  lead  his  flock  to  green  pas- 
tures ;  such  is  he  whom  we  are  now  to  lose. 
And  what  shall  I  say  of  my  own  personal  loss, 
— the  pastor,  friend,  counsellor,  guide  ?  his 
loved  and  loving  wife,  in  whom  I  ever  found  a 
friend  and  sister,  and  those  little  children,  who, 
in  a  retired  country  place,  were  all  the  variety 
I  had  or  needed  in  the  long  winter  months. 
Next  month  we  shall  lose  all  these  sunbeams. 
One  loves  to  lean  on  such  props  as  these  ;  yet, 
perhaps,  God  is  saying,  '  Come  up  higher/  from 
the  human  to  the  Divine  Teacher. 

"  All  is  ordered,  and  so  must  be  for  the  best, 
though  it  is  hard  to  part.  The  woman  for 
whom  I  asked  your  prayers,  she  whose  child 
was  burned  to  death,  said  to  me  one  day, 
*  Sometimes  I  wish  so  much  you  were  coming 
in,  and  you  don't  come,  and  I  feel  as  if  I  must 
go  to  ask  you,  and  can't  get  time  or  have  not 
clothes  to  go ;  but  I  never  have  to  look  for 
Je'cius  and  not  find  Him.     I  can  always  go  to 

H 


98  FAHAN. 


Him ;  and  though,  I  think,  I  can  tell  you  every- 
thing, still  I  can  tell  Him  more.'  Truly  her 
words  taught  me  a  lesson,  needed  the  very  next 
day,  when  I  heard  our  dear  pastor  was  to  leave 
us.  We  pray  for  him  who  is  to  be  '  over  us  in 
the  Lord,*  as  yet  a  stranger  and  unknown  ;  and 
oh,  pray  for  us,  dear  friends,  that  in  this  trial, 
the  Lord  may  draw  us  nearer  Himself.  At  this 
blessed  Easter  season  may  we  each  hear  Jesus 
speaking  to  us  individually,  and  may  we  as 
Mary  answer,  *  Master.'  May  the  showing  of 
His  pierced  hands  and  side  bring  home  to  each 
His  blessing.  *  Peace  be  with  you.'  .... 
"  Your  young  friend, 

**  Agnes  E.  Jones." 


CHAPTER   IIL 
KAISEBSWERTH. 

**  Let  others  seek  earth's  honours  :  be  it  mine 
One  law  to  cherish,  and  to  teach  one  line, 
Straight  on  towards  heaven  to  press  with  single  bent, 

To  know  and  love  my  God,  and  then  to  die  content." 

^jT^HE  time  had  now  come' when  the  happy 
-*-  country  life  was  to  be  left  for  ever,  and  a 
wider  sphere  of  usefulness  entered  ;  and  here 
I  cannot  forbear  saying  a  word  to  those,  who, 
mistaking  their  own  inclinations  for  God's 
guiding,  might  think  to  find  in  Agnes  an  ex- 
ample of  abandoning  home  duties  for  what 
they  deem  God's  service  ;  young  hearts,  who, 
fired  by  the  story  of  some  such  life  as  hers, 
fancy  they  could  do  the  same,  had  they  the 
opportunity;  who  finding  the  yoke  of  obedi- 
ence galhng,  think  they  could  rule  others,  not 
having  heart  for  the  small  duties  assigned 
them,  cry  out  for  greater  ones;  to  such  I  would 


lOO  KAISERSWERTH. 

say,  "  Rather  learn  from  this  life  to  wait  God's 
time  ;  if  in  your  heart  you  find,  as  she  did,  a 
desire  specially  to  devote  yourself  to  His  ser- 
vice, commit  your  way  to  Him,  and  He  will 
give  you  the  desire  of  your  heart." 

In  1853  Agnes  first  saw  Kaiserswerth,  and 
longed  for  work  there  ;  not  until  1S60  was  the 
wish  granted.  She  waited  God's  time  patiently 
and  obediently,  and  when  He  saw  fit,  He  made 
the  way  plain  for  her.  How  little  we  know 
what  the  apparently  insignificant  circumstances 
we  seem  to  mould  ourselves  may  bring  forth  to 
us.  In  September,  i860,  Agnes  had,  for  some 
time,  been  looking  pale  and  thin,  yet  we  could 
not  induce  her  to  take  rest,  or  in  any  way  relax 
her  exertions.  An  uncle,  who  had  come  to  his 
home  in  Ireland  for  a  few  weeks,  was  to  rejoin 
his  family  in  Germany,  and  one  morning  it 
was  suggested  at  the  breakfast-table,  that  this 
might  be  an  opportunity  for  paying  her  long- 
talked-of  visit  to  Kaiserswerth,  availing  herself 
of  his  escort  for  the  journey.  At  first  she 
seemed  to  think  it  impossible  she  could  leave 
her  sick  and  poor ;    but  in  a  day  or  two   she 


KAISERSWERTH.  lOI 


spoke  of  it  again,  and  said  she  felt  she  might 
learn  there  much  that  would  be  useful  in  the 
parish  ;  so  it  was  settled  that  she  should  go. 
There  was  little  time  for  deliberation,  for  my 
uncle  was  to  start  in  two  days,  and  she  left  us  for 
Dublin,  saying  she  trusted  a  month,  or  at  most 
six  weeks,  would  see  her  again  at  home.  I^Iy 
mother  and  I  rejoiced  at  her  being  thus  forced 
away  from  the  long  mountain  walks  which  we 
felt  were  too  much  for  her  strength,  and  hoped 
the  complete  change  of  air  and  scene  would 
restore  her  failing  health.  Little  did  we  think 
she  was  never  again  to  be  with  us  except  on 
passing  visits. 

Her  journals  and  letters  supply  the  history 
of  the  next  few  months  : — 

"September  isth,  i860.— Started  this  morning 
for  Dublin,  the  beginning  of  my  journey  to 
Kaiserswerth,  of  which  journey  I  had  not  the 
least  thougKt  this  day  week,  but  when  mamma 
proposed  that  I  should  take  advantage  of  uncle 
M.'s  escort,  this  circumstance  seemed  to  point 
the  way  to  what  I  have  desired  for  seven  years. 
My  ignorance  about  sickness   and  the   care  of 


102  KAISERSWERTH. 


those  afflicted  with  it,  makes  me  feel  my  need 
of  some  such  training  as  a  means  of  future  use- 
fulness ;  at  the  same  time  I  feel  very  nervous 
about  leaving  mamma  and  J.,  and  whether  I 
should  forsake  my  poor  now,  is  to  me  a  ques- 
tion. Every  leavetaking  has  been  with  a  feel- 
ing of  the  separation  being  long,  and  3^et  I 
hope  surely  to  return  in  a  month.  It  was  a 
sad  parting  from  mother,  and,  but  for  very 
shame,  I  could  then  have  heartily  given  up  the 
going.  I  cannot  see  the  pillar  moving  on,  but 
trust  God  will  be  with  me,  and  bless  me,  else 
all  is  dark  indeed.  The  journey  was  a  weary 
one,  with  a  nervous  headache,  but  it  was 
cheering  to  meet  a  kind  welcome  from  dearest 
Miss  Mason. 

"  September  i6th. — Spent  an  anxious  evening 
yesterday,  so  when  I  went  to  my  room  I  asked 
of  God  some  encouragement  next  morning,  if  it 
were  His  will  I  should  go,  and  if  it  were  only 
my  weakness  made  me  fear  leaving  mother  and 
sister,  my  poor,  and  my  country ;  after  this  I 
had  such  a  happy  feeling  of  being  able  to  leave 
all  in  His  hands.     I  slept  well  and  quietly,  and 


KAISERSWERTH.  103 


though  I  looked  for  the  answer  in  my  letters, 
did  not  feel  my  usual  impatience  about  them  ; 
there  was  nothing  for  or  against  the  going  in 
any  way,  and  I  felt  as  if  I  had  expected  too 
much ;  but  the  loving  mercy  of  God  to  my 
poor  weak  heart  was  greater  as  He  is  ever 
above  what  I  ask  or  think.  At  ii  we  went  to 
Mr.  Hare's  Monday  prayer-meeting;  his  prayer 
was  chiefly  that  we  might  be  kept  irom  seL- 
seeking, — that  self  which  comes  even  into 
God's  house,  when  we  say,  *  I  am  of  Paul,'  etc., 
which  comes  with  us  when  we  think  we  are 
doing  God's  work,  filling  us  perhaps  with 
the  thought,  how  we  are  thought  o.,  etc. 
Afterwards  I  spoke  to  him,  and,  when  Miss 
Mason  told  him  of  my  plans,  his  blessing  made 
me  nearly  cry  with  thankful  joy,  that  God 
would  now  and  ever  guide  and  bless  me  and 
make  me  a  blessing.  Oh,  how  good  God  is 
through  His  servant  to  show  me  such  sym- 
pathy !  it  was'  the  God-man,  Jesus,  my  Sa- 
viour, knew  my  need,  and  sent  the  supply." 

The   arrival    at    Kaiserswerth    is    thus   de- 
scribed ; — 


104  KAISERSWERTH. 

"  After  parting  from  uncle  at  Cologne  at  7 
o'clock,  I  began  to  feel  very  nervous  about  my 
reception,  but  a  strong  word  came  to  my  weak- 
ness and  helped  me,  '  Why  art  thou  cast 
down  ?  oh  my  soul,  hope  thou  in  God.'  An 
hour  and  a  half  at  Diisseldorf  before  a  train 
started  which  would  stop  at  Calcum,  was  try- 
ing ;  had  I  known  the  delay  would  be  so  long, 
I  should  have  sat  down  to  read  or  wTite,  but  I 
thought  every  moment  my  train  would  be  up. 
At  last  we  were  off,  and  soon  I  was  on  the 
platform  at  Calcum  ;  sor:e  deaconesses  were 
starting,  but  one  remained,  so  I  addressed  her; 
she  could  not  tell,  however,  if  I  were  expected. 
We  put  the  luggage  in  the  omnibus,  but  I  was 
glad,  after  only  two  hours  of  sleep  last  night 
and  three  nights  of  very  disturbed  rest,  to  have 
fresh  air  and  walking ;  then  my  hobbling  Ger- 
man began,  and  so  we  came  to  the  door  of  the 
hospital.  I  was  left  in  the  hall,  till  some  one 
should  find  what  was  to  be  done  with  me ; 
after  a  long  wait  a  summons  came  to  the 
pastor's  house  ;  the  mother  came  in  and  said 
I  should  live  in  the  hospital,  in  the  Sisters* 


KAISERSWERTH. 


105 


part,  and  so  brought  me  over  and  gave  me  in 
charge  to  Sister  Sophia,  the  head  of  the  hos- 
pital. She  led  me  to  a  dear  little  room,  the 
window  opening  on  the  garden,  across  which  I 
see  the  orphan  and  the  pastor's  house.  After 
a  little,  I  was  taken  to  Sister  Reichardt's  room, 
where  I  sat  and  talked  till  12  o'clock  dinner; 
then  my  luggage  arrived.  I  unpacked  and 
dressed  and  went  with  Sister  Dorathea  to  the 
women's  hospital ;  Sister  Carietten  came  to 
take  me  over  part  of  the  house, — the  women 
and  children's  wards,  work-rooms,  kitchens, 
bakery,  etc.  Coffee  at  2  in  my  room,  and  then 
with  Sister  D.  to  see  the  w^ounds  dressed  in 
the  hospital.  At  7  tea,  returned  to  my  room 
and  at  9  to  prayers." 

^'  Friday, — Breakfast  was  brought  to  me  at 
6  o'clock  ;  afterwards  I  went  to  the  women's 
hospital  and  spent  the  day  there." 

*'  Saturday. — Prayers  at  7,  then  to  women's 
hospital ;  dressed  some  wounds,  etc.  Sister 
Dorathea,  of  whom  I  am  sure  I  should  have 
grown  very  fond,  went  off  to  replace  a  Sister 
at  Graefeld  almshouse  for  sick  and  old.     Sister 


I06  KAISERSWERTH. 

Amelia  takes  her  meals  v/ith  me  ;  she  is  the 
cutter-out  of  dresses,  etc.  Sister  Maria  was 
with  me  one  evening ;  she  was  an  orphan  here, 
and  became  deaconess  ;  she  has  just  returned 
from  Dresden,  and  is  so  fond  of  this,  she  hoped 
to  remain  here,  but  heard  to-day  she  is  to  go 
elsewhere.  After  dinner  I  paid  Sister  Sophia 
a  visit  in  her  room,  and  was  told  to  be  ready 
at  3,  dressed  in  black  for  the  funeral  of  Sister 
Joanna,  who  died  on  Wednesday,  and  for 
whom  the  bells  have  been  rung  daily  from  12 
to  I  o'clock.  Sister  Maria  came  for  me ;  we 
found  the  deaconesses  assembling  in  the  yard, 
where  was  the  coffin  with  six  bright  silvery- 
looking  handles,  and  surrounded  with  a  long 
wreath  of  cypress  and  white  dahlias.  After  a 
little.  Pastor  Disselhof  (Louisa  Fliedner's  hus- 
band) came  and  told  the  deaconesses,  before 
leaving,  what  they  were  to  sing.  They  sang 
four  verses  standing  as  they  were;  then  the 
town  children  walked  on,  the  pastors,  six  men 
carrying  the  cofiin,  other  men,  and  the  band ; 
then  the  deaconesses  and  others,  three  and 
three,  and  so  on,  singing  and  moving  slowly 


KAIGERSWERTH.  I07 

we  came  to  the  *'  Gottes-acker ;  "  round  the 
grave  we  'Stood, — the  open  grave  with  the 
coffin  laid  in  it ;  a  hymn  was  given  out  and 
sung,  and  then  Pastor  Disselhof.  as  if  blessing 
the  grave  with  uplifted  hands,  repeated,  '  Oh 
death,  where  is  thy  sting  ?  '  He  then  read 
Luke  vii.  11-16  and  spoke  first  of  the  scenes 
of  this  week, — Monday  and  Tuesday  such  a 
joyful  feast,  the  anniversary  of  the  beginning 
of  the  Institution  when  so  many  pastors, 
strangers,  and  every  deaconess  who  can  come, 
gather  together,  and  have  such  rejoicing,  now 
the  last  day  of  the  week.  Sister  Joanna's 
funeral,  reminding  us  that  in  the  midst  of  life 
we  are  in  death  ;  but  this  is  also  a  joyful  thing 
when  we  think  of  her  now,  and  we  may  take 
the  text  for  the  day,  *  Weep  not,'  as  our  con- 
solation. After  giving  .the  reasons  why  we 
need  not  weep,  he  told  the  story  of  her  life, — 
her  father's  death,  her  work  for  her  mother  and 
young  brother,  her  confirmation  and  taking 
God  from  that  day  as  hers, — not  a  sudden 
change,  but  a  growing  change,  as  sure  as 
the  growth  of  a  living  tree ;  then  her  school- 


KAISERSWERTH. 


change  from  that  at  Kaiserswerth  for  awhile, 
change  again  to  Elburg ;  but  she  ever  said  her 
heart  was  here.  Her  whole  heart  was  in  her 
work, — her  day-school,  her  teaching  of  the 
people  in  after  hours,  her  Sunday-school,  num- 
bering one  hundred  at  least ;  her  sorrow  that 
she  could  give  little  at  Christmas  made  her, 
though  very  shy,  go  every  year  from  house  to 
house  begging  and  getting  a  great  deal,  enough 
to  clothe  her  children.  Her  love  for  Kaisers- 
werth and  wish  to  help  in  the  work,  made  her 
get  the  children  to  work  and  send  the  produce 
here.  Her  home  life  and  patience,  waiting 
God's  will,  though  longing  for  active  service 
for  Him,  and  then  her  joy  at  coming  here  at 
last  and  becoming  a  deaconess, — all  this  was 
told.  She  had  come  a  sinner  to  the  Saviour, 
and  though  timid  and  shy,  overcame  all  for 
love  to  Him.  It  was  as  the  Lord  was  going 
into  Nain,  '  pleasantness,'  He  met  the  corpse 
coming  out,  and  as  He  found  death  then,  so 
may  he  now  in  his  pleasant  place  ;  but  He  has 
conquered  death,  it  has  now  no  sting.  At  7 
o'clock  this  evening  the  bells  rang  for  half  an 


KAISERSWERTH.  I09 


hour, — joy  bells  for  the  morrow.  In  the  men- 
tion of  Sister  Joanna,  they  always  speak  of  her 
as  the  '  home-gone  sister,' — unser  hciingegangene 
Schwestcr.'' 

"  Sunday. — The  preparation  for  next  Sunday's 
communion.  Read  at  pra3'ers  at  a  quarter  to 
seven,  i  Cor.  xi.  13.  Sister  Carietten  prayed 
that  this  Sunday  might  be  a  day  of  growth, — 
of  being  clothed  anew  in  Christ's  righteous- 
ness,— a  day  in  which  we  might  more  entirely 
give  ourselves  to  Jesus,  and  feel  what  a 
blessed  thing  it  is  to  live  for  Him,  to  work  for 
Him,  to  devote  our  strength  to  Him  who  first 
loved  us  and  gave  Himself  for  us.  The  prayers 
for  the  king  are  very  beautiful,  for  the  queen 
and  all  in  authority,  the  pastor  and  the  mother. 
I  helped  tu  dress  some  of  the  wounds  ;  then 
church  at  a  quarter  before  ten.  They  first 
sang,  then  read  the  same  epistle  and  gospel 
as  our  own,  then  Proverbs  vii.,  then  a  prayer ; 
after  whicn,  those  were  desired  to  remain  who 
wished  tu  receive  the  communion  next  Sunday. 
A  coniession  and  absolution,  r  nd  a  kind  of  form 
of  self-e::amination  was  read  bv  Pastor  Striker, 


no  KAISERSWERTH. 


whom  I  do  not  yet  well  understand  ;  at  each 
part  there  was  a  pause :  then,  ask  yourselves 
these  questions,  and  let  all  who  can  join  in 
answering  yes.  The  Lord's  Prayer  and  the 
beautiful  Levitical  blessing  closed  the  service. 
Soon  after,  the  sister  came  with  an  invitation 
from  the  pastor  for  me  to  dine  with  him,  which 
I  did  at  12.  He  spoke  little,  for  his  cough 
is  very  severe  ;  first  the  text  for  the  day  was 
read,  then  the  Psalm  by  his  children,  and 
dinner  began, — soup,  plates  of  gruel,  which 
was  sweet  with  raisins  in  it,  then  boiled  meat, 
beans,  and  potatoes,  afterwards  fresh  plums. 
After  dinner  the  pastor  gave  one  of  his  sons 
a  poem  to  read  aloud ;  he  read  a  few  short 
missionary  anecdotes,  and  we  sang  a  hymn 
before  grace  was  said.  Then  the  sisters  who 
are  to  go  off  to-morrow  were  told  of  their 
journey  arrangements,  and  one,  for  the  first 
time,  heard  she  was  to  go.  The  pastor  told 
me  I  might,  after  service  at  the  village  church, 
go  out  with  the  parish  sister  on  her  rounds. 
I  did  so,  and  came  back  at  3  to  the  ser- 
vice, which  is,  on  this  Sunday  in  the   month, 


KAISERSWERTH.  Ill 

more  of  a  missionary  meeting.  At  5,  went  to 
the  sick  and  spent  a  few  minutes  with  Sister 
Reichardt  before  7,  then  supper  of  rice  and 
milk.  From  8  to  9.30,  I  was  at  Sister  Ca- 
rietten's  teaching  of  the  *  Probe  Schwestern  ;' 
she  certainly  enters  into  the  spirit  of  the 
*  Haus  Ordnung,'  of  which  she  read  paragraph 
9,  the  family  bond  ;  the  deaconesses  and  no- 
vices owing  obedience  to  those  over  them  as 
children  to  parents, — the  spirit  of  being  ever 
ready  to  serve  God  in  our  fellows,  remember- 
ing, *  Inasmuch  as  ye  have  done  it  unto  the 
least  of  these  my  brethren,  ye  have  done  it  unto 
Me.'  All  must  be  in  the  spirit  of  love, — not  to 
gain  love  for  ourselves,  but  to  draw  hearts  to 
the  Lamb  of  God.  To  hold  ourselves  ever  in 
readiness  to  serve  Him,  to  think  nothing  too 
small,  and  so  we  shall  be  ready  for  greater 
works  and  further  submission,  if  He  see  fit  to 
call  us  to  any  great  work." 

**  Tuesday. — Breakfast  and  prayers,  attending 
patients  and  sitting  with  them.  Tried  to  ex- 
plain a  little  of  Luke  xv.  to  Louisa  and  the 
others  before  dinner ;  afterwards  went  with  sis- 


112  KAISERSWERTH. 

ters  Emilie  and  Frederica  to  the  churchyard  ; 
saw  the  spot  the  pastor  has  chosen  for  him- 
self, and  also  the  sisters'  graves,  a  stone  with 
name,  age,  date  of  death,  and  a  text,  headed 
by  a  dove  flying  among  stars.  At  2,  the  '  Lied 
Stunde,'  which  is  Sister  Carietten  explaining 
the  Scripture  references  to  the  hymns ;  then 
Sister  R.'s  class  on  2  Timothy  iii.  ;  then  I 
went  back  with  her  to  her  room  for  a  talk, 
which  I  always  much  enjoy ;  then  to  the  sick, 
and  helped  in  the  dressings,  etc.,  till  after  6, 
when  I  went  to  visit  Sister  Sophie,  who  is 
very  kind  to  me. 

In  a  letter  home  of  this  same  date  she 
says, — 

"  I  am  as  happy  here  as  the  day  is  long, 
and  it  does  not  seem  half  long  enough,  but 
with  all  my  contentment,  till  your  letter  came 
yesterday  there  was  something  wanting,  and 
now  I  am  looking  forward  to  more  home  news, 
so  you  will  think  me  greedy.  Except  a  little 
with  Sister  Lebussa — a  countess  who  is  nurs- 
ing-sister  here,  and  who  speaks  English  well — 
it  is  German  all  day,   and  I  think  I  am  im- 


KAISERSWERTH.  IIJ 

proving.  Every  one  is  so  busy  here,  one  can't 
spend  much  time  talking,  but  had  you  seen 
our  lively  walking  party  to-day,  you  would  not 
have  feared  my  being  moped.  You  would  be 
amused  at  the  horror  they  have  here  of  a  most 
attractive  English  Protestant  sister,  who  came, 
I  fancy,  from  Windsor,  but  when  they  found 
out  her  views  she  was  sent  away.  Their  love 
for  Miss  Nightingale  is  so  great ;  she  was  only 
a  few  months  here,  but  they  so  long  to  see  her 
again.  I  was  asking  much  about  her ;  such  a 
loving  and  lovely  womanly  character  hers  must 
be,  and  so  religious.  Sister  S.  told  me  many 
of  the  sick  remembered  much  of  her  teaching, 
and  some  died  happily,  blessing  her  for  having 
led  them  to  Jesus.  I  have  not  seen  Louisa 
Fliedner  yet,  but  have  heard  her  husband  preach 
twice  so  beautifully ;  he  speaks  so  clearly  and 
slowly  I  understand  him  wonderfully  well ;  he 
is  a  tall  remarkable-looking  man,  and  with  his 
old-fashioned  preaching  gown,  especially  when, 
as  at  the  funeral  the  other  day,  he  wore  his 
cap,  reminds  me  always  of  one  of  the  old  Re- 
formers. 

I 


114  KAISERSWERTH. 


"Journal,  Wednesday.  —  Hospital:  read  to 
Louisa  *  Jesus  nimmt  die  Sunder  an,'  and 
talked  of  it  to  her.  Went  to  ask  Sister  Sophie 
to  let  me  dress  as  a  '  Probe  Schwester,'  as  I 
think  then  both  sisters  and  sick  will  allow  me 
to  do  more  when  my  dress  does  not  every  mo- 
ment remind  them  that  I  am  a  stranger  and  a 
lady.  After  dinner  I  had  a  very  nice  walk  with 
Sister  Carietten,  who  is  now,  as  I  thought,  in 
Hedwig's  place.  The  two  were  dear  friends  ; 
Hedwig  has  now  two  children.  Every  Wed- 
nesday evening  Pastor  Disselhof  has  a  Bible 
class  for  the  sisters  in  the  hall.  Unfortunately, 
I  w^as  far  off  and  could  not  hear  well  as  he 
spoke  low." 

"  Thursday. — T^Iorning,  as  usual,  spent  in  the 
hospital ;  after  dinner  walked  to  the  Schloss 
garden,  near  Calcum,  with  Sister  Anna,  who 
writes  for  the  pastor;  she  was  only  made  a 
deaconess  at  the  last  anniversary,  and  she  is 
going  home  to-morrow  for  a  week's  visit  to  her 
parents,  who  so  rejoice  in  her  having  become 
a  sister  that  they  wish  to  see  her  as  such. 
Whe;i  I  came  in,  finding  my  dress  would  not 


KAISERSWERTH.  II5 

soon  be  ready,  I  thought  it  better  to  put  on  my 
cap,  and  so  went  to  Sister  Sophie's  room.  At 
3,  to  Sister  Reichardt's  Bible  lesson  in  the  sick- 
room ;  then  to  her  own  room,  where  I  sat  with 
her  till  near  5  ;  returned  to  the  hospital  till 
6.30.  At  8,  Pastor  Strieker  came  into  the  hall 
to  give  the  sisters  a  Bible  lesson." 

*'  Friday. — Prayers,  Luke  xv.,  and  a  beau- 
tiful prayer  on  the  chapter.  Then  I,  having 
made  my  bed  and  arranged  my  room  before 
breakfast,  went  to  the  hospital,  and  am  to-day 
happier  than  I  have  yet  been,  for  I  was  al- 
lowed to  do  many  little  things  for  the  patients, 
— make  beds,  dress  wounds,  hear  a  child  her 
lessons,  and  help  a  blind  one  in  her  prepara- 
tion for  the  pastor's  evening  class.  A  little 
after  i  ,  Sister  Sophie  came  to  tell  me  the 
pastor  was  waiting  in  her  room  to  see  me.  I 
went  to  him,  and  after  giving  me  a  book  on 
parish  work,  he  asked  me  to  walk  a  little  in 
the  garden  with  him.  He  is  most  anxious  I 
should  spend  the  whole  winter  here.  Lord 
guide  and  direct  me,  teach  me  what  I  should 
do ;  if  I  am  to  stay  here,  show  me  Thy  will ; 

I  2 


Il6  KAISERSWERTH. 


if  it  SO  please  Thee  by  putting  it  into  the 
hearts  of  others  to  give  me  work,  by  enabling 
me  to  do  anything  that  comes  in  my  way,  with 
a  single  eye  to  Thy  glory,  and  by  helping  me 
to  get  on  with  German.  Lord,  let  me  learn 
what  Thou  seest  best  to  prepare  me  for  any 
work  Thou  mayest  yet  call  me  to.  Enable 
me  to  grow  in  the  knowledge  of  what  may 
help  others,  but,  above  all,  in  the  knowledge 
of  Thee  my  Saviour,  from  Whom  comes  the 
will  to  work  for  Thee.  Every  day  and  hour  I 
feel  this  is  a  place  where  they  understand 
training,  and  where  one  may,  slowly  perhaps 
but  all  the  more  surely,  be  really  grounded  and 
brought  on.  The  pastor  said  such  a  true  word, 
*We  are  too  apt  to  be  contented  with  spend- 
ing our  own  strength,  and  not  think  enough  of 
training  up  others  to  take  our  places  when  God 
sees  fit  to  remove  us.'  At  2  o'clock,  went 
with  Sister  Sophie  to  visit  Frau  Pastor  Dis- 
selhof  and  her  lunatic  asylum  ;  I  should  any- 
where have  recognized  the  Louisa  Fliedner  of 
old,  but  her  three  fine  children  keep  her  now 
too  busy  to  be  as  formerly  the  superintendent ; 


KAISERSWERTH.  IZf 


and  though  she  still  has  the  direction  of  the 
institution,  Sister  Amelia,  who  took  us  over  it, 
is  the  active  head.  At  5,  I  returned  to  the 
hospital  much  engrossed  with  the  thoughts  of 
the  letter  I  wrote  to  my  mother  before  going  to 
bed,  about  remaining  here  for  the  winter.  It 
seems  the  wisest  plan,  now  I  am  here,  but 
God  can  show  me  my  way  clearly.  If  I  am  to 
stay,  I  trust  He  will  be  my  Teacher  and  pre- 
pare me  for  whatever  He  may  call  me  to  do, 
if  He  so  honours  me  as  to  allow  me  to  work 
for  Him  ;  and  if  it  be  to  return,  oh,  how  gladly 
shall  I  meet  my  own  dear  ones,  and  return  to 
my  loved  people  and  happy  work.  The  inde- 
cision kept  me  awake  nearly  all  night,  and  I 
trust  that  my  wakefulness  may  be  blessed  to 
my  choice,  enabling  me  as  it  did  again  and 
again  to  seek  direction  from  Him  Whom  they 
call  here  so  beautifully,  *  unser  heimsuchen 
Gott."  I  trust  by  all  now  and  hereafter  He 
may  lay  upon  me,  it  is  more  and  more  seeking 
to  bring  me  home  to  Himself." 

**  Saturday. — At  5.30,  I  went  to  the  hospital, 
and  God  seems  already  answering  my  prayer ; 


Il8  KAISERSWERTH. 

I  found  SO  many  little  things  I  could  do  to 
help.  I  had  not  time  till  near  dinner  to  take 
my  letter  to  the  post-office  room.  I  am  really 
now  at  home  in  my  station,  and  Sister  Gret- 
chen,  who  is  its  head,  is  so  kind  that  she 
gives  me  work  to  do.  I  am  sorry  to  think  I 
am  soon  to  leave  it,  and  a  little  nervous  about 
going  to  the  men's  hospital  on   Monday." 

**  October  ist. — Met  Sister  Sophie,  and  asked 
her  to  let  me  wait  for  my  dress  before  I  go 
to  the  men's  hospital.  I  am  very  nervous 
about  this  going,  and  want  to  be  as  like  those 
usually  about  them  as  possible,  no  distinguish- 
ing mark  to  make  me  seem  different.  Read  to 
Caroline  Romans  viii.,  which  she  seemed  to 
enjoy ;  then  to  Louisa,  and  taught  the  little 
girl  her  texts.  At  3.30  to  the  church  for  the 
*  Stille  Stunde,'  which  lasts  thirty  minutes. 
Two  verses  of  a  hymn  are  sung,  then  each 
reads  or  prays  quietly  for  the  rest  of  the  time. 
At  4,  one  sister  repeats  aloud  the  Lord's 
Prayer,  and  we  separate ;  I,  to  the  English 
lesson  I  am  to  give  daily  to  Sister  L. ;  then 
preparmg  the  sick  for  the  night,  and  a  short 


KAISERSWERTH. 


119 


time  in  Sister  Sophie's  room.  To-day  the 
Reichardt  sisters  started  for  Duisberg  to  meet 
their  brother.  Sister  R.  came  to  bid  me  good- 
bye, praying  God  to  go  with  them  and  to  re- 
main with  us.  How  glorious  is  the  thought 
of  His  eternal  omniscience  and  omnipresence, 
here  and  at  Fahan.  Sister  C.  came  to  see  my 
room  to-day ;  she  said,  '  I  like  its  number, 
103,  it  reminds  me  of  the  103rd  Psalm.'  I 
thanked  her  in  my  heart  for  the  word.  Truly 
I  can  say,  'Forget  not  all  His  benefits;'  how 
many  and  great  they  are.  '  Lobet  den  Herr, 
Er  ist  freundlich ;'  friendly,  yes,  my  friend  here 
among  strangers." 

"  Tuesday. — Found  my  dress  in  my  room  on 
returning  from  Pastor  D.'s  class  ;  as  soon  as 
ready,  I  went  to  show  myself  to  Sister  Sophie, 
and  ask  for  my  new  name.  '  Sister  Agnes.' 
She  said  she  would  take  me  this  evening  to 
the  Men's  Hospital,  so,  after  giving  my  English 
lesson,  I  went  to  her.  Sister  M.  in  the  wards 
is  different  from  any  sister  I  have  yet  come 
in  contact  with,  but  she  seems  very  handy, 
and  well  fitted  for  her  post.     I  hope  I  may 


I20  KAISERS\VERTH. 

learn  much  from  her.  I  go  with  trembling, 
but  it  encourages  me  to  feel  I  have  made 
friends  here,  in  the  sorrow  of  the  sisters  and 
patients  in  the  wards  I  am  leaving.  Truly 
it  is  of  the  Lord.  I,  a  poor  stranger,  scarcely 
understanding  or  understood,  have  found  favour 
through  His  loving  aid,  have  been  led  so  far, 
and  kept  from  '  Heimweh,'  and  even  here  am 
called  to  do  a  work  for  Him  as  one  of  His. 
I  almost  feel  as  if  the  Lord  had  some  purpose 
in  bringing  me  here;  He  is  so  keeping  me 
from  undue  longing  for  my  friends  and  people." 
*'  October  ^rd. — I  cannot  express  all  the  affec- 
tion of  the  women  in  the  hospital  is  to  me. 
It  is  more  (with  reverence  be  it  spoken)  as  a 
revelation  of  the  presence  with  me  of  Him 
Who  is  the  ever  present  friend.  A  busy  day 
for  me,  which  is  also  a  blessing  to  be  thankful 
for,  kindness  heaped  on  me  on  every  side. 
Why  ?  I  cannot  tell.  Whence  ?  Surely  but 
of  the  Lord,  and  yet  to-day  there  is  a  burden 
on  this  poor  little  faithless  heart.  The  dif- 
ficulty of  understanding  and  being  understood  ; 
perhaps    I     have    not    been    exerting   myself 


KAISERSWERTH.  121 

enough  to  get  on  with  the  language.  In  the 
morning,  helped  in  the  female  ward  till  break- 
fast. At  7,  to  the  men's  hospital.  Sister  M., 
to  my  great  delight,  put  me  at  once  to  work  ; 
first,  washing  the  glasses,  etc.  used  by  the 
sick  during  the  night,  then  dusting  and  wash- 
ing furniture  in  the  bed-rooms,  seeing  the 
dressing  of  the  wounds,  etc.,  washing  up  of 
breakfast  things,  and  then  I  was  sent  to  sit 
in  the  room  with  a  dying  man.  Could  I  have 
chosen  my  work,  it  would  have  been  this ; 
but,  oh,  how  I  longed  for  words  !  and  yet  I 
feared  to  speak,  partly  because  he  was  too 
weak  for  the  exertion  of  mind  to  understand 
me ;  partly,  because  I  was  unwilling  he  should 
know  my  ignorance  of  the  language,  lest  he 
should  be  nervous  at  the  thought  of  my  not 
understanding  his  wants.  But  I  could  pray 
for  him,  and  it  was  so  sweet  to  think  One 
was  there  who  could  do  all  without  my  help, 
and  Who  could  hear  my  prayer,  and  answer 
the  poor  sick  man's  oft  repeated  cry,  *  Lieber 
Heiland,  hilf  mich.'  His  constant  cough  was 
very  distressing,  yet  he  scarcely  seems  to  me 


122  KAISERSWERTH. 


SO  near  death  as  they  think  him.  After  dinner, 
returned  to  my  post.  At  2,  Pastor  S.'s  class: 
then  my  EngUsh  lesson,  and  then  to  men's 
hospital  again  till  7 ;  after  tea,  a  visit  to  Sister 
G.,  and  then  to  the  female  wards  to  say  good- 
night to  my  friends." 

One  or  two  letters  about  this  date  give 
further  details  of  the  proposed  change  in  her 
plans : — 

''My  darling  Mother,  —  This  has  been 
such  a  day  of  visiting  and  variety,  that  between 
thoughts  of  everything  I  see  and  hear, — > 
thoughts  of  you  and  J.,  and  so  many,  many 
thoughts  of  all  my  loved,  so  loved  people,  and 
then  the  real  hard  work  of  constantly  talking 
and  trying  to  understand,  with  the  nervous- 
ness of  my  talks  with  the  two  pastors  to-day ; 
all  this  has  made  me  feel  rather  tired  to-night, 
but  it  is  the  first  time  I  have  felt  so.  I  must 
tell  you  of  my  day :  as  usual,  up  at  5  ;  hos- 
pital for  half  an  hour;  at  6.15,  breakfast  and 
prayers  ;  at  7,  hospital  again  until  10.30,  when 
I  was  called  to  the  head  sister's  room  to 
Pastor  Fliedner.      Now  I  must  tell  you  that 


KAISERSWERTH.  I23 

I  fancied  he  had  forgotten  me,  for  except  the 
dinner  on  Sunday,  at  which  he  scarcely  spoke, 
I  have  not  seen  him.  With  all  his  bad  health, 
however  (consumption),  it  is  wonderful  how  he 
is  yet  the  head  and  mainspring  of  this  great 
establishment ;  and  how  training  others  for 
usefulness  is  understood  by  him,  and  by  those 
who  are  the  heads  of  the  different  divisions. 
Now  there  is  Sister  Sophie,  the  hospital  super- 
intendent, no  matter  at  what  hour  I  go  to  visit 
her,  some  one  comes  in  at  every  moment  for 
directions,  or  to  tell  how  such-and-such  a 
thing  is  going  on ;  yet  every  little  detail  I  am  to 
see  and  know,  everything  I  should  be  present 
at,  a  message  comes  to  me, — nothing  ever 
seems  forgotten.  But  to  return  to  the  pastor  : 
though  he  is  not  very  formidable,  a  little 
quaking  one  came  in  to  him.  He  had  a  book 
of  his  printed  directions  for  parish  visiting  to 
give  me,  and  then  asked  me  to  take  a  walk 
with  him  in  the  garden.  I  was  soon  quite  at  my 
ease,  and  we  were  talking  busily.  He  spoke 
most  strongly  to  me  of  what  he  himself  has 
quite  acted  up  to — of  our  not  only  seeking  to 


124  KAISERSWERTH. 

be  ourselves  useful,  but  to  be  the  preparers  of 
others  to  take  our  place  :  and  that,  if  nothing 
else,  is  the  art  here.  He  then  spoke  most 
wisely  and  kindly  to  me  about  the  uselessness 
of  spending  only  six  weeks  here.  Till  to-day, 
never  had  the  thought  of  a  longer  stay  here 
come  to  me.  But  there  was  so  much  wisdom 
in  his  words  that  this  day  has  been  one  of 
much  thought  on  the  subject.  It  was  hard 
to  tear  myself  away  from  home  and  poor, 
but  now  I  am  here,  is  it  not  better  to  stay 
and  learn  thoroughly,  not  by  halves  ?  on  the 
other  hand,  is  it  leaving  a  plain  clearly  given 
work  for  another  ?  Were  my  life  to  be  limited 
to  a  few  3^ears  at  Fahan,  six  weeks  here  might 
do,  but  what  if  longer  life  is  before  me,  may 
I  not  be  called  and  enabled  to  do  more,  if 
prepared  with  God's  blessing  ?  But,  oh,  my 
heart  goes  so  after  my  people  !  Whatever  you 
decide  for  me,  mother  darling,  to  return  home 
or  to  remain  here  is  alike  to  me.  So  much 
is  to  be  said  on  both  sides,  I  feel  either  would 
make  mc  happy,  and  yet  in  either  I  shall 
Lave  something  to  regret  in  losing  the  other.'* 


KAISERSWERTH.  I25 

''Journal,  Thursday. — A  fortnight  here,  and 
in  looking  back  I  can  take  courage  and  go  on 
trusting  Him  who  has  helped  me  hitherto. 
Got  up  very  headachy,  but  went  at  5.30  to  the 
hospital;  made  beds,  etc.  till  breakfast,  then 
back  to  work  :  the  dying  man  is  weaker  to- 
day ;  read  to  one  ill  with  dropsy  John  v.  and 
a  hymn." 

**  Saturday. — A  walk  to-day  with  some  con- 
valescents ;  still  undecided  about  the  winter. 
Mamma's  letter  leaving  me  free  choice  when 
I  had  hoped  to  have  the  decision  made  for 
me.  May  God  guide  me  ;  home,  country,  and 
poor  are  very  very  dear,  and  yet  now  I  am  here, 
should  I   not  stay  and  learn  ?" 

The  letter  in  which  she  acknowledges  my 
mother's  reply  to  her  request  for  leave  to  re- 
main the  winter  is  as  follows  : — 

*'  My  darling  Mother, — A  thousand  loving 
thanks  for  your  letter,  received  Saturday,  and 
for  the  free  choice  you  give  me.  It  is  hard 
to  choose,  for  home  is  home,  and  kind  friends 
are  not  mother  and  sister,  and  a  strange 
tongue  keeping  one  on  the  strain  in  speaking 


126  KAISERSWERTH. 


and  listening,  is  a  barrier  to  free  intercourse  ; 
still  I  am  happy  here,  and  when  wishes  will  go 
homewards,  I  think  of  the  future,  and  pray  to 
return  wiser  and  better  to  enjoy  a  hundred 
times  more,  and  feel,  oh  so  deeply,  the  bless- 
ings of  a  home.  To  me  the  deaconess  calling 
is  a  problem ;  as  a  Christian,  feehng  and 
knowing  I  am  n;.t  my  own,  and  that  all  time 
and  strength  and  powers  are  to  be  rendered 
back  to  the  Great  Giver  of  all,  I  think  every 
one  is  as  much  called  on  as  a  deaconess  is, 
to  work  for  Him  who  first  loved  us  ;  but  if  this 
-does  not  constrain  us  as  Christians,  neither  will 
it  as  deaconesses,  and  certainly  the  '  Anstalt ' 
is  a  world  in  which  the  Martha-spirit  may  be 
found  as  well  as  in  the  outer  v/orld.  There  are 
many  most  deeply  taught  Christians  here, 
many  whose  faces  shine,  but  I  should  say, 
comparing  my  home  life  (but  few  have  such  a 
home)  with  that  of  the  deaconesses  here,  I 
should  say,  that  in  many  positions  here,  there 
are  more,  not  only  daily  but  hourly  tempta- 
tions. There  are  great  privileges,  teaching, 
worship,  means  of  grace,  two  pastors  for  the 


KAISERSWERTH.  12^ 

Institution  besides  Pastor  Fliedner.  While  he 
lives,  he  will  be  the  ruling  spirit,  but  it  is  in 
the  direction  and  supervision  of  all,  by  private 
walks  and  talks  with  the  deaconesses, — by- 
writing  books  and  letters  :  he  is  too  delicate  for 
anything  public.  It  is  w^onderful  to  think  that 
he  is  the  head  of  upwards  of  fifty  establish- 
ments;  250  deaconesses  and  nearly  400  novices, 
— this  is  twenty-four  years'  work.  The  pastors 
are  most  evangelical  and  earnest;  Pastor 
Strieker,  who  has  for  many  years  been  here, 
is  one  deeply  learned  in  the  Scriptures,  but 
Pastor  Disselhof  is  to  me  more  attractive, 
because  more  easily  understood.  I  longed  on 
Sunday  for  Aunt  J.'s  power  of  reproducing  a 
sermon  ;  his,  though  quite  extempore,  was  so 
perfect  in  its  arrangements,  so  clear  and 
earnest,  so  simple  yet  attractive.  I  have  gone 
far,  however,  from  what  I  sat  down  to  write 
of  my  plans ;  yet  piano  I  cannot  call  them, 
for  as  it  is  hard  for  you  to  give,  so  is  it  hard  for 
me  to  ask  leave  to  stay,  and  yet  I  feel  as  if 
I  ought  to  do  so,  after  the  wrench  it  was 
leaving  home.     I  can  say,  as  the  German  so 


128  KAISERSWERTH. 

beautifully  expresses  it,  '  Der  Herr  ist  freund- 
lich,'  for  I  am  happy  and  contented;  and  yet 
when  one  comes  to  look  into  the  life  here,  it 
has  scarcely  a  point  of  resemblance  to  what  I 
have  been  accustomed  to.  I  do  not  find  time 
for  half  I  want  to  do ;  1  am  in  the  male  hos- 
pital, under  such  a  clever  trainer,  she  vv^ill 
not  overlook  the  smallest  thing,  and  yet  is 
kind  withal.  I  give  an  English  lesson  every 
day,  and  my  pupil  is  going  to  give  me  a 
German  half-hour.  I  hope  to  bring  J.  back 
the  seed  of  a  creeper  which  is  so  pretty  nov/, 
with  its  bright  red  autumn  leaves ;  they  say 
this  is  the  prettiest  time  for  it,  as  the  flower 
is  small  and  colourless.  My  idea  is  to  remain 
here  as  long  as  I  feel  I  can  learn  anything, 
and  then  perhaps  to  go  to  Elberfeld,  or  one 
of  the  other  Institutions  near,  and  then  home 
soon  after  Christmas;  but,  of  course,  circum- 
stances must  influence  ;  we  plan,  God  arranges 
and  directs.  My  own  darling  mother,  I  would 
say  to  you  as  I  often  do  to  myself,  let  us  not 
look  forward  further  than  to  count  the  cost, 
if  it  be    needful   that  this  should  be   the   be- 


KAISERSWERTH.  I29 


ginning  of  a  longer  separation.  The  present 
training  is  only  taking  advantage  of  the  op- 
portunity given  me,  and  I  trust  ere  long,  if  it 
be  God's  will  to  spare  and  bless  us  all,  we  may 
have  a  happy  meeting.  Whatever  be  the  right 
way,  I  trust  God  will  show,  it  to  us  plainly ! 
but,  as  I  said  before,  my  own  darling,  your 
wishes  shall  be  my  guide,  now  and  for  the 
future,  as  long  as  I  am  blessed  with  such  a 
loving  counsellor.  I  trust  my  present  training 
in  obedience  will  not  be  lost  in  reference  to 
home.  And  yet,  little  as  I  ever  was  to  you  of 
what  I  should  have  been,  yours  is  the  hardest 
trial  in  the  separation.  I  often  ask  myself, 
why  is  this  ?  Why  have  I  chosen  to  stay 
here?  Theoretically  it  is  easier  to  have  my 
free  will  at  home,  than,  as  here,  to  have  to  be 
under  orders,* —  even  at  school  or  meal  hours 


*  The  following  sentence  in  a  recent  pamphlet  by  the  Rev.  A, 
Moody  Stuart  seems  to. suggest  one  cause  of  the  non-success  of  Dea- 
coness Institutions  in  England  ;  Agnes  often  said  the  most  valuable 
lesson  she  learned  at  Kaiserswerth  was  that  of  implicit  ohC' 
dience: — 

"  In  visiting  the  Protestant  Hospital  of  Kaiserswerth,  it  is  hum- 

K 


130  KAISERSWERTH. 

I  must  tell  the  head  sister  why  I  leave  the 
room,  etc.  There  is  more  variety  and  seeming 
usefulness  in  visiting  my  poor  than  in  trying  to 
please  little  children  or  feeding  sick  ones  the 
greater  part  of  the  day,  and  yet  though  I  so 
theorize,  I  feel  it  is  good  for  me  to  be  here 
whatever  may  be  before  me.  God  has  given 
me  a  happy,  contented  spirit ;  may  He  only 
enable  me,  more  and  more,  to  give  my  heart 
and  soul  and  spirit  as  I  have  given  myself  more 
entirely  to  Him.  Home,  and  my  loved  ones 
and  poor,  never  were  so  dear.  God  can 
strengthen  for  whatever  He  appoints  when  the 
time  comes.  My  own  darling,  ever  believe 
your  child's  love. 

"  A.  E.  Jones." 

**  Journal,    Stcnday,    October,    i860.  —  After 
church,  sat  with  the  dying  man  as  usual ;   after 

bling  and  instructive  to  hear  that  the  evangelical  congregations  of 
Britain  furnish  less  useful  sick-nurses  than  the  churches  tinged  with 
ritualism  :  because  the  nurses  that  come  from  us  are  more  anxious 
to  take  charge  and  to  administer  medicines  than  to  obey,  to  learn, 
to  serve.  In  the  German  nurses  it  is  beautiful  to  see  the  spirit  of 
self-denial  and  submission  and  service.'* 


KAISERSWERTH.  131: 

dinner,  went  with  Sister  L.  to  see  a '  poor 
woman ;  took  charge  of  the  women's  hospital 
while  the  sisters  were  at  church,  and  read  a 
little  in  each  of  the  four  rooms.  After  tea,  from 
8  to  9,  '  Bet-Stunde  :'  at  this  it  is  usual  to  read 
over  the  list  of  names  of  the  deaconesses,  their 
various  positions  and  occupations,  before  the 
beginning  of  the  prayer." 

"  Wednesday. — Last  night,  indeed,  since  Mon- 
day, very  unwell,  and  to-day  I  had  to  lie  in  bed 
and  the  doctor  came ;  but  though  feeling  worse 
than  I  ever  remember  to  have  done  before  with 
dreadful  spasms,  and  fearing  a  long  illness,  God 
kept  me  quiet  and  enabled  me  to  feel  only  my 
many  blessings ;  only  for  one  moment  did  an 
overwhelming  longing  for  my  mother's  hand 
about  me,  come  over  me,  and  that,  perhaps, 
was  allowed  to  show  the  blessing  of  being  kept 
so  peacefully  contented,  *  Oh,  forget  not  all  His 
benefits.'  Such  kindness  and  love  from  all 
around.  I  chose  to  have  read  Hebrews  v.  and 
Psalm  xxvii.,  and  felt  them  to  come  home." 

"  Thursday. — Weak,  but  out  of  bed  and  sat 
in   dear  Sister   S.'s  room  some  time  ;    read  a 


132  KAISERSWERTH. 

little  and  enjoyed  the  *  Stille-Stunde '  in  the 
church ;  thankful  for  strength  to  go  there." 

*^  Friday. — Hospital  as  usual." 

••'*  Saturday. — Sat  much  of  the  day  with  Bru- 
nig,  who  still  lingers ;  at  night  studied  the 
Gospel  as  of  old  for  Sunday-school,  and  hope  to 
make  it  a  practice  every  Saturday,  and,  with 
God's  help,  to  find  a  blessing." 

**  I'jth. — Men's  hospital  all  day ;  no  walk. 
Sister  L.  heard  that  she  is  to  go  to  Syria,  on 
Monday,  for  two  months." 

"  20^/j.— Days  come  and  go  with  little  variety ; 
no  time  now  for  visits,  and  only  now  and  then 
for  a  peep  at  Sister  Sophie ;  to-day  she  took 
me  to  see  the  asylum  where  I  am  to  go  on 
Monday." 

Some  further  details  of  her  life,  during  this 
first  month  at  Kaiserswerth,  may  be  taken  from 
her  letters  : — 

"  Your  last  letter  amused  me  very  much,  dear 
over-anxious  little  mother,  so,  to  put  your  mind 
at  ease,  let  me  tell  you,  first,  as  to  fires  in  our 
rooms,  we  have  stoves  and  every  requisite,  and 
here,  in  five  minutes,  with  no  trouble,  one  has 


KAISERSWERTH.  I33 

a  hot  fire ;  but  I  never  have  one  and  enjoy  my 
cooler  room,  for  the  hot  dry  air  from  the  stoves 
is  very  trying;  then,  as  to  the  cleaning  of  my 
tiny  room — not  larger  than  J.'s  dressing-room 
• — it  is  a  simple  quiet  process  in  the  style  adop- 
ted here,  and  I  need  not  do  it,  but  as  there  are 
no  servants  and  the  deaconesses  do  everything, 
I  was  shamed  into  doing  all  myself  by  seeing 
my  neighbour,  w^ho  is  eighty,  every  day  clean- 
ing her  far  larger  room.  I  have  now  only  eight 
classes  a  week,  for  the  'mother'  thought  I  had 
too  many  lessons  to  give  ;  my  pupils  had  really 
become  a  most  engrossing  interest,  though  at 
first  I  found  my  classes  a  nervous  and  difficult 
business;  now  I  am,  with  the  exception  of  my 
class  hours,  from  7  till  7  with  fourteen  sick 
boys ;  some,  to  my  sorrow,  are  too  well,  for 
the  walk  with  them,  and,  worse  still,  the  keep- 
ing  them  at  lessons  or  work,  is  no  easy  task 
when  I  am  left,  as  is  sometimes  the  case,  in 
sole  charge.  The  very  sick  and  very  young 
ones  are  a  great  interest,  but  I  get  on  wonder- 
fully with  all,  in  spite  of  my  want  of  the  art  of 
government.      I  am  often  a  subject  of   merri- 


134  KAISERSWERTH. 

ment,  as  5^ou  may  suppose,  from  my  ignorance 
of  the  language  ;  but,  to  my  delight,  I  can  now 
teach  the  sick  and  very  young  their  texts. 
Yesterday  I  was  a  long  time  with  a  dear  in- 
valid sister,  who  was  so  much  better,  we  mu- 
tually enjoyed  a  long  talk;  the  doctor  thought 
her  recovering,  but  to-day  she  has  broken  a 
blood-vessel ;  perhaps  I  may  never  see  her 
alive  again.  She  said  to  me  yesterday,  *  Don't 
you  pity  me  getting  better  ?'  It  is  to  me  an 
encouraging  thought  that  He  who  knows  all 
things,  knew  and  pitied  her  weakness,  and  so 
would  not  call  on  the  little  strength  to  meet 
the  world  again.  He,  too,  knows  my  weakness, 
and  will  help  me  in  whatever  service  He  allows 
me  to  engage  in.  I  do  sometimes  long  for 
home-sights  and  voices,  my  mother's  face  and 
kiss,  and  for  special  walks  and  views  at  Fahan, 
for  all  my  poor  ;  how  often  they  are  thought  of 
and  prayed  for !  I  want  to  know  so  much  about 
them  all, — they  can  never  think  of  me  more 
than  I  think  of  them, — I  could  send  a  thousand 
loves.  The  pastor  is  more  and  more  a  wonder 
to  me, — his  great  desire  to  make  his  work  re- 


KAISERSWERTH.  IjD 


productive  ;  he  told  me  he  was  so  disappointed 
to  find  Mrs.  Fry's  work,  about  which  they  had 
consulted  together,  so  much  a  limited  one,  as 
he  says,  the  nurse's  sphere  is  so  limited  in  com- 
parison to  what  it  might  be,  and  also  that  there 
is  no  attempt  made  to  raise  them  by  mental 
culture;   when  one  sees  the  new-comers  here 
often,  one  feels  what  a  work  of  love  and  pa- 
tience will  be  needed  before  they  can  be  made 
gentle  or  refined,  and  this  last  word  is,  what  to 
a  certain  point,  might.apply  to  all  the  deaconess- 
es ;  there   is   such   gentleness    and   refinement 
even  about  those  whom  one  knows  to  be  of  the 
lower  classes  ;  it  is  not  to  say  they  are  perfect, 
—  all  speak  of  peculiar  temptations,  and  of  be- 
setting sins,  but  there  is  such  a  repose  even  in 
their  activity.     On  Saturday  there  was  a  tele- 
gram from  Pastor  D.  from  Syria,  for  an  imme- 
diate reinforcement  of  sisters  ;    so  that   after- 
noon, two  started  off  to  bid  their  parents  good- 
bye ;  they  returned  on  Monday  to  leave  at  day- 
break on  Tuesday.     The  parents  of  one  were 
sickly  and  old,  and  they  objected  to  the  dis- 
tance ;  in  such  cases  the  pastor  always  makes 


136  KAISERSWERTH. 


home  the  first  duty,  and  sends  the  sisters  there 
at  any  time  they  are  really  wanted  ;  so  a  sister 
who  was  to  have  gone  to  Berlin  goes  to  Syria 
instead.  She  arrived  here  on  Monday  night  at 
midnight,  heard  the  change  in  her  destination, 
and  was  off  before  six,  so  it  is  sometimes  quick 
w^ork ;  but  I  do  not  see  how  when  one's  life  is 
given,  it  much  matters  where  it  is  spent.  The 
rule  here  is  that  every  sister  visits  home  every 
third  year." 

*'  October,  i860, — It  has-been  such  a  pleasure 
that  to-day  I  was  able  to  follow  Pastor  S.'s 
sermon  ;  he  is  a  most  holy  man,  mighty  in  the 
Scriptures,  but  one  whom  hitherto  I  have  not 
been  able  to  understand  well.  It  is  always 
such  a  pleasure  to  me  that  the  Epistle  and 
Gospel  are  the  same  as  our  own, — a  chapter  in 
the  Old  Testament  is  read  and  a  confession, 
also  the  creed,  but  the  prayers  are  m^ostly  ex- 
tempore. I  enjoy  the  truly  evangelical  teach- 
ing. To-morrow  will  be  the  king's  birthday, 
and  there  will  be  special  services.  Daily  the 
church  is  open  for  half  an  hour,  and  all  who 
can  go  to  the  '  Stille-Stunde,' — silent,  except 


KAISERSWERTH.  ^   I37 

when  a  verse  is  sung  at  the  opening  and  the 
Lord's  Prayer  read  at  the  close.  My  friend 
Sister  Gretchen  is  leaving  to-morrov/ ;  there 
are  such  constant  changes ;  then  a  call  comes 
from  a  distance,  the  best  are  sent  off  and  new 
ones  trained  in  their  place.  It  is  a  comfort  to 
think  Sister  Sophie,  my  mother  here,  will  not 
be  sent  away  while  she  has  strength  for  her 
most  arduous  post.  The  king  is  very  kind  and 
has  always  taken  much  interest  in  the  Institu- 
tion, which  he  once  visited.  A  deaconesses' 
house  was  lately  burned  at  Beyrout  or  Smyrna, 
I  forget  which,  and  he  has  written  to  tell  the 
pastor  he  will  provide  bedding  and  linen,  etc. ; 
and  as  he  wishes  to  give  employment  to  Berlin 
manufacturers,  he  says,  if  directions  are  sent  as 
to  what  is  required,  all  shall  be  prepared  and 
forwarded.  Sunday  is  the  great  day  here  for 
celebrations,  so  yesterday  was  the  harvest 
home.  The  girls  and  orphans  having  helped  in 
the  field-work,  had  the  '  Feste '  in  their  re- 
spective houses  at  7  o'clock.  There  had  been 
great  preparations  going  on  all  day, — wreaths 
of  flowers  and  every  variety  of  vegetables  dis- 


KAISERSWERTH. 


played,  all  done  with  so  much  taste  ;  it  looked 
very  gay  when  Pastor  Strieker  arrived.  After 
reading  and  explaining  the  looth  Psalm,  he  said 
grace,  and  the  feast  began  with  the  most  hor- 
rible beer-soup,  which  all  seemed  to  enjo}',  but 
I  could  not  touch  ;  potatoes  fried  in  butter, 
onion-salad,  and  cold  sausages,  etc.  Then  the 
pastor,  sisters,  and  mother  told  stories,  which, 
with  singing,  kept  us  till  9.30.  The  mother's 
stories  interested  me  much,  being  on  the  sub- 
ject of  answers  to  prayer  and  trials  of  faith  as 
to  the  supply  of  the  money  wants  of  the  Insti- 
tution. We  have  lovely  weather  now,  and  such 
nights !  the  moon  and  stars  are  so  lovely  I  do 
not  light  my  candle  to  dress  or  sweep  my  room 
in  the  morning ;  I  do  all  by  moonlight,  and  am 
over  at  my  post  at  six.  Lady  M.  F.'s  parcel  of 
pamphlets  was  such  a  delight  to  me ;  3^ou 
can't  know  the  pleasure  I  anticipate  in  reading 
them.  I  so  long  to  know  what  goes  on  in  my 
own  land  and  how  the  truth  is  spreading  there. 
Death  has  been  busy  here ;  yesterday  we  had, 
in  the  afternoon,  the  funeral  of  a  novice,  and  in 
the  evening  the  funeral  sermon  of  a  sister  who 


KAISERSWERTH.  I39 


died  in  Jerusalem  ;  a  pearl,  indeed,  not  twenty- 
one,  but  the  pride  of  the  pastor,  whose  spiritual 
daughter  she  truly  was.  She  had  been  brought 
as  an  orphan,  only  nine  years  old,  to  the  Or- 
phan House  here." 

"Journal,  Oct,  2ist. — This  has  been  a  day 
of  varied  feelings  ;  the  communion  was  to  be 
administered  to  the  four  sisters  who  are  leaving, 
and  any  others  who  wished  to  receive  it.  Pastor 
Fliedner  was  able  to  take  a  part  in  the  service  ; 
and,  indeed,  one  felt  it  good  to  be  there  to  hear 
the  simple  yet  impressive  prayer  after  the  con- 
fession, and,  above  all,  the  thrilling  address  to 
the  sisters  before  administering  the  sacrament. 
He  repeated  the  narrative  of  the  angel  feeding 
Elijah  with  food,  in  the  strength  of  which  he 
went  forty  days  on  his  journey.  '  So  too,'  he 
said,  '  are  you  called  on  a  journey,  but  it  is  a 
high  calling,  a  following  in  His  footsteps  Who 
went  forth  to  seek  the  lost.  You  need  strength 
not  only  to  meet  outward,  but  inward  tempta- 
tions, and  you  have  well  done  that  you  have 
come  in  these  outward  symbols  to  seek  to  grasp 
the   inward  thing  signified.     You,  too,  Iriends 


I40  KAISERSWERTH. 


and  acquaintances  who  will  thus  bid  your 
sisters  farewell,  have  well  done  that  you  have 
come.'  After  dinner,  I  ran  for  my  Bible  and 
went  up,  as  usual,  to  sit  with  Brunig  ;  the  door 
was  locked  and  I  turned  away,  thinking  the 
attendant  was  there  ;  not  far  from  the  door  the 
old  servant  saw  me  and  said,  '  Do  you  wish  to 
go  in  ?'  *  Yes,  but  the  door  is  locked.'  '  Oh,  I 
will  open  it.'  He  did  so,  and  there  lay  a  corpse. 
He  had  died  while  we  were  at  dinner,  and 
Sister  M.  did  not  like  to  send  for  me.  I  felt 
his  death  very  much,  for  we  are  not  quite  happy 
about  him.  At  7.30,  after  the  dressings  of 
wounds,  I  bid  adieu  to  the  men's  hospital,  and 
Sister  L.  came  to  m.e  for  a  long  farewell ;  we 
may  never  meet  again,  but  I  shall  not  soon  for- 
get her  kindness  to  a  stranger,  and  hope  I  have 
learned  a  lesson  from  her  of  sympathy  and  ten- 
derness. \Ve  then  w^ent  to  the  hall ;  before 
the  pastor  and  mother  were  ranged  to  the  right 
the  nine  last  arrived  novices,  who  were  to  be 
welcomed,  and  to  the  left  the  four  sisters  of 
whom  leave  was  to  be  taken.  After  a  few  words 
of  prayer  for  blessing,  the    121st   Psalm  was 


KAISERSWERTH.  I4I 

read ;  the  *  welcome '  sung,  and  a  prayer  for 
help  in  the  difficulties  and  trials  before  them, 
for  blessings  on  their  work  here,  and  for  perse- 
verance to  the  end,  the  pastor  and  mother  then 
went  forward  and  shook  hands  with  each,  add- 
ing a  few  words  of  welcome  ;  then  the  pastor 
gave  an  address,  showing  his  views  and  object 
in  sending  out  the  sisters  ;  then  he  read  Psalm 
xci.,  and  spoke  to  the  deaconesses.  Hymns 
appropriate  to  the  occasion  were  sung,  and  then 
the  Levitical  blessing  from  the  pastor,  he  lay- 
ing his  hand  on  the  head  of  each ;  he  and 
the  mother  then  took  leave,  she  lingering  to 
whisper  a  few  last  words.  Friends  pressed 
round ;  L.  and  I  ran  together  into  the  passage, 
hoping  for  a  few  quiet  minutes,  but  we  were 
separated  in  the  crowd,  for  it  was  late  and  not 
a  moment  to  spare,  so  I  came  to  my  room, 
having  indeed  lost  a  friend,  and  yet  I  like  to 
call  her  one,  who  has  gone  to  help  Syrian 
Christians,  sent  by  England's  means  to  the 
work.  It  was  9.30  when  they  started ;  they 
were  to  travel  all  night,  and  arrive  late  to-mor- 
row at  Berlin." 


143  KAISERSWERTH. 

**  Nov.  4th. — I  come  over  from  the  other 
house  every  morning  at  six,  the  ground  white 
and  windows  frozen  over;  often  at  3  in  the 
afternoon  the  water  outside  is  still  frozen,  yet 
night  or  morning  I  never  put  on  bonnet  or 
handkerchief,  unless  when  I  go  out  for  w^alk.  I 
was  practising  cupping  on  a  patient  last  Satur- 
day, but  must  have  another  trial  soon.  The 
letters  from  Syria  are  most  interesting ;  both 
hospital  and  orphan  house  at  Beyrout  are  to  be 
begun  at  once."  Two  sisters  have  been  there 
for  some  weeks ;  both  were  ill,  one  in  fever,  the 
other  dysentery ;  the  latter,  however,  was 
obliged  to  go  about,  having  the  sole  charge  of 
twelve  orphans  and  sixteen  sick.  Fancy  her 
joy  on  opening  the  door  one  evening  to  see  the 
unexpected  party  from  this, — Pastor  D.  and  the 
sisters.  All  here  are  so  kind,  but  no  place  is 
like  home,  so  if  you  wish  for  me  at  any  time, 
only  say  so,  and  gladly  and  unmurmuringly 
will  I  go ;  do  remember  and  believe  this.'" 

"Monday,  —  Went  to  Sister  Sophie  after 
prayers,  who  told  me  to  go  to  the  *  asile.* 
Waited   a  little  to  luxuriate  in  home  letters. 


KAISERSWERTH.  143 

Soon  after  reaching  the  *  asile,'  the  Pastor  sent 
for  me  to  ask  me  to  give  the  EngHsh  lessons  in 
the  training-school  till  he  can  make  some  better 
arrangement.  Went  with  him  to  hear  the  ex- 
amination of  twenty-four  new  pupils  in  order  to 
test  their  proficiency.  They  wrote  from  dicta- 
tion, etc.,  for  me,  and  read  and  translated  be- 
fore the  pastor.  The  other  examinations  were 
in  singing,  history,  and  geography.  This  lasted 
from  9  to  12,  and  again  from  2  to  5.30." 

^^  Tuesday. —  Pastor  F.  having  desired  me  to 
be  at  the  seminariste  at  8,  I  did  not  go  further 
than  the  woman's  hospital  before  that  hour.  I 
found  the  young  women  all  arranged  behind 
their  desks,  and  the  teachers  in  their  places. 
After  singing  and  prayer,  Pastor  S.  read  part  of 
Psalm  cxix.,  and  spoke  on  the  passage ;  Pastor 
Fliedner  then  addressed  them  in  a  most  affect- 
ing manner,  so  that  there  was  scarcely  a  dry 
eye  in  the  room  : — '  My  dear  daughters  in  the 
Lord,  I  bid  you  heartily  welcome,  and  I  must 
speak  a  few  words  to  express  my  welcome ; 
seeing  fifty-eight  of  you  here,  I  cannot  but  ex- 
claim, '*  My  soul  rejoiceth  in  the  Lord,  for  he 


144  KAISERSWERTH. 

hath  regarded  my  low  estate. '^  I  rejoice  to  see 
you  all  here,  coming  in  the  desire  to  learn  how 
to  lead  little  lambs  to  Jesus,  to  be  fellow- 
workers  with  Him ;  but  remember,  he  that 
worketh  must  be  first  partaker.  I  feel  grateful 
to  those  parents  who  have  intrusted  you  to  our 
care,  and  entreat  of  you  to  be  open  with  the 
mother  and  me,  and  to  come  to  us  for  every 
sympathy  as  you  would  to  your  own  parents. 
I  rejoice,  too,  when  I  look  forward ;  if  you  are 
faithful,  what  lambs  you  may  bring  to  the  fold 
— what  harps  and  crowns  add  to  that  white- 
robed  multitude  now  before  the  throne.' 

"  I  returned  to  the  '  asile,'  and  spent  the  day 
there ;  some  were  busy  digging  potatoes^  most 
washing,  churning,  and  preparing  supper.  The 
rules  were  read  to  me,  as  they  must  be  to 
every  new-comer  and  again  every  month  or 
six  weeks  before  all  assembled  together,  when 
the  daily  conduct  book  is  also  read  ;  in  this 
are  written  the  punishments  found  needful,  and 
all  particulars  of  the  dealings  with  each.  The 
inmates  are  all  to  come  to  the  asylum  of  their 
free  will,  with  the  full  knowledge  of  the  design 


KAISERSWERTH  I45 

of  the  house,  being  to  teach  them  of  the 
vSaviour,  and  to  bring  them  to  Him,  and 
so  coming  with  free  will,  it  is  hoped  they 
will  receive  the  instruction  here  given  thank- 
fully and  with  gratitude  to  God  for  having  led 
them  here.  If,  however,  punishment  be  needed, 
it  is  various.  For  sleeping  in  church,  inatten- 
tion at  prayers,  Scripture  reading,  etc.  etc., 
they  are  shut  out  from  such  services,  and,  at 
the  same  time,  from  any  pleasure  or  amuse- 
ment, the  walk,  the  singing-class,  etc.,  perhaps 
kept  in  their  own  room  apart  from  others. 
This  last  is  also  the  punishment  for  disobe- 
dience, quarrels,  unwillingness  to  work.  Sew- 
ing is  placed  in  their  room,  a  Bible,  hymn  and 
prayer-book;  but  when  confined  there,  the 
food  is  plainer  than  that  of  the  others.  Some- 
times the  idle  are  deprived  of  a  meal,  especially 
when  they  have  to  be  placed  in  the  '  Dunkel- 
Zimmer,'  which  is  not,  however,  quite  dark, 
but  a  bare  closet  with  only  a  small  window  in 
it ;  there  is  the  straw  with  which  they  are  to 
make  mats  as  their  only  occupation, — they  are 
only  released  on  begging  pardon.    The  greatest 

L 


146  KAISERSWERTH. 

punishment   is  expulsion,   seldom  resorted  to, 
and  when  it  must  be  done,  the  girl  is  given  in 
charge  of  the  police.      New-comers  are   kept 
apart  from  the  others.     None  are  put  out  to 
service  under  a  year,  some  are  kept  over  two. 
They   are    then    placed    in    service    carefully 
sought  out  for   them  ;    while   there,  they  are 
written   to   and   visited,    from    time   to   time; 
another  service  found,   if  needed,  and  if  they 
are   in  want,  through   no  fault  of  their  own, 
they   are    assisted.      When   placed   out,    they 
receive  clothes  and  everything  necessaiy,  Bible, 
hymn-book,  etc.     The  eve  of  their  departure 
is  a  holiday.     If,  however,  any  wish  to   leave 
the  asylum  before  their  term  expires,  they  are 
not  allowed  to  go  before  they  have  spent  some 
days  quietly  in  their  rooms,  where  it  is  hoped 
they  may  come  to  a  better  mind;  for  which  the 
sisters   pray   for   and   with    them.      Here   are 
received  all  who  had  been  in  prison,  Whether 
thieves   or   otherwise   fallen :    full    particulars 
of  their  former   lives   must   be    given   to   the 
sister    before   their   coming ;    no    reference    is 
afterwards  made  directly  to  it,  and  every  pains 


KAISERSWERTH.  I47 

is  taken  to  prevent  their  talking  over  their 
sinful  doings  to  their  companions.  They  rise 
at  5,  wash,  dress,  make  their  beds,  and,  when 
ready,  come  down  to  the  sitting-room,  where 
they  learn  their  verses ;  read  or  work  till  six, 
which  is  prayer-time,  then  breakfast ;  work  till 
9.30,  bread  and  coffee,  work  again  till  twelve  ; 
dinner,  return  to  work  at  i,  having  half  an 
hour's  liberty  between  ;  3,  coffee  :  at  7  supper  ; 
8,  class  or  working  hour  ;  at  g,  those  who  rose 
at  4  for  washing  go  to  bed,  the  rest  not  till  10. 
Scripture  lessons  are  given  during  the  week, 
and  reading  and  writing  lessons  to  those  who 
require  them.  Every  month  the  girls  have 
different  work, — kitchen,  attending  cows  and 
pigs,  house-work  or  washing,  field  labour,  etc. 
etc. 

"  Went  to  the  funeral  of  the  lady  from  the 
lunatic  asylum  :  she  was  a  true  child  of  God, 
and  His  word  could  quiet  her  at  all  times ; 
though  here  she  walked  through  a  dark  valley, 
now  she  sees  Him  whom  she  loved.  Her 
favourite  psalm,  65th,  is  true  of  her ;  she  is 
now  praising  him  in  Zion." 

L  2 


KAISERSWERTH. 


*'  Wednesday. — Went  to  the  asylum  for  prayers 
at  6,  and  then  with  the  girls  to  their  various 
occupations  till  g,  then  English  classes,"  etc. 

"  Saturday, — On  returning  to-day  from  Co- 
logne, where  I  had  gone  for  a  few  hours,  I  met 
at  the  station,  to  my  great  joy,  Sister  F.,  who 
was  on  her  way  back  from  private  nursing.  It 
was  such  a  pleasure  to  be  warmly  greeted  by 
the  friends  whom  I  had  left  only  for  a  few 
hours  ;  a  beautiful  bouquet  was  in  my  room  to 
welcome  me,  and  all  so  kindly  and  thought- 
fully arranged.  The  Russian  Sister  C.  very 
ill  in  bed  some  days.  My  English  classes, 
which  I  so  dreaded,  are  now  great  enjoyment 
to  me  ;  oh,  when  shall  I  learn  not  to  burden 
myself  with  fears  ?  how  often  have  I  tried  the 
Lord's  long  suffering  with  me  in  this  way,  and 
yet  in  mercy  He  meets  me  !  The  clouds  I  so 
much  dread,  turn  out  ever  big  with  mercy, 
and  yet  I  forget  the  lesson  when  the  next  trial 
comes." 

*'  Sunday. — All  day  in  the  '  asile,'  and  with  the 
girls  to  church.  When  they  went  out  for  their 
walk,  I  came  over  to  see  the  Misses  M.;  visited 


KAISERSWERTH.  I49 


my  hospital  friends  in  female  ward  ;  found  the 
old  woman  dying ;  then  spent  an  hour  in  the 
parish  with  Sister  Louisa.  In  church  to-day, 
before  the  pulpit  and  over  the  communion- 
table, hung  a  crown  of  cypress  with  white 
flowers  interwoven, — the  orphans'  tribute  to 
one  of  their  number  who  is  just  dead  of  typhus 
fever  at  Jerusalem,  where  she  w^as  labouring  as 
deaconess." 

*'  Wednesday. — The  two  asylum  girls  who  are 
to  be  confirmed  were  examined  to-day  in  the 
church.  Sister  S.  told  me  that  Sister  A.  said 
to  her  one  day,  '  I  should  like  it  to  be  written  on 
my  tombstone, — Here  lies  one  with  wdiom  the 
Lord  has  had  great  patience,  but  who,  through 
free  grace,  is  with  Him.'  " 

"  Saturday,  Nov.  lotli. — Classes  in  morning 
and  at  the  asylum  all  day.  Being  my  birth- 
day, I  was  specially  anxious  to  have  time  for 
the  '  Stille-Stunde,'  and  found  it  indeed  what 
the  name  implies,  for  I  was  there  alone.  On 
coming  to  my  room  afterwards.  Sister  S.  came 
in  to  wish  me  many  happy  returns  of  the  day, 
and    a   year   rich    in    blessing   and    growth   in 


150  KAISERSWERTH. 


grace  ;  it  went  so  to  my  heart,  this  unexpected 
greeting,  and  the  more  so,  as  my  own  mother's 
letter  had  come  yesterday.  As  soon  as  we 
were  seated  at  supper,  a  few  verses  of  a  hymn 
were  sung  outside  the  door,  and  a  plate  was 
brought  in  with  a  pretty  wreath  lighted  up  by 
little  tapers.  I  ran  out  and  found  a  gathering 
of  friends ;  inside  my  wreath  was  a  little 
marker  and  a  paper  with  a  few  texts,  and, 
when  I  came  to  my  room,  there  was  a  lovely 
bouquet  and  another  paper  of  texts.  Precious 
tokens  of  Christian  love  in  a  far  land  !" 

"  Wednesday. — Funeral  of  the  negress  Susan- 
nah, who  died  of  cancer.  Visit  to  Sister  S., 
who,  in  speaking  of  the  pastor,  said  he  was  so 
strict  and  yet  so  full  of  love;  yesterday  a 
novice,  who  was  to  be  sent  away,  went  to 
entreat  him  to  give  her  another  trial,  for  which 
he  came  to  beg  Sister  S.  as  humbly  and 
anxiously  as  if  he  had  been  the  culprit.  Of 
his  simplicity  and  kind  thoughtfulness  she  gave 
me  several  instances, — at  the  time  he  was  so 
ill  and  scarcely  able  to  do  anything,  he  was 
often  found  mending  his  little  children's  toys. 


KAISERSWERTH.  irj 


One  day  the  asylum  girls  were  working  in  the 
field,  the  pastor  watched  them  awhile,  advised 
them  to  be  industrious,  and,  on  his  return, 
perceiving  how  much  work  had  been  got 
through,  he  went  home  to  order  them  cakes 
for  supper.** 

''ig^A.— Asylum  all  day;  with  the  girls  in  the 
turnip-field  ;  returned  for  the  '  Stille-Stunde.'  '* 
*'  2oth.—ThQ  whole  day  in  the  asylum.  Pas- 
tor Fliedner  sent  for  me  in  the  evening;  the 
deaconesses  are  to  come  to  me  for  separate 
English  lessons ;  the  pastor,  as  a  father  would 
for  his  children,  begged  me  not  to  be  too  hard 
on  them  and  require  too  much  preparation. 
Love  is  indeed  his  motto.  He  asked  how  I 
got  on ;  I  said  I  felt  so  ignorant.  *  Oh,'  he 
said,  '  love  will  help  :  that  is  the  needful  point.* 
They  say  he  can  be  very  stern,  but  if  he 
wounds  with  one  word,  he  salves  the  wound 
with  the  next." 

"  26th. — An   English   beginner,   I  must  take 
alone  daily  till  she  gets  up  with  her  class,  so 
now  I  teach  English  sixteen  hours  a  week." 
**  zSth. — A  busy  day.     Asylum  in   morning ; 


152  KAISERSWERTH. 

9  to  II,  English  lessons;  11  to  12,  Ranke's 
class  on  education  ;  2  to  3,  English  lessons  ; 
3  to  4,  church  ;  4  to  5,  Sister  S.  and  C. ;  5  to 
7,  Ranke's  classes." 

"  Dec.  ^th. — Went  to  Boys'  Hospital ;  saw 
dressing  of  broken  leg  and  arm." 

We  must  again  supplement  with  extracts 
from  letters,  as  the  journals  are  much  inter- 
rupted at  this  busy  time  : — 

*'  November. — We  had  a  most  interesting 
service  yesterday,  when  two  of  the  asylum 
girls  were  confirmed  ;  the  Wednesday  before, 
at  our  usual  midday  service,  they  had  been 
examined  before  the  congregation.  The  con- 
firmation service  was  much  like  our  own,  the 
only  difference  that  to  the  last  question,  instead 
of  a  simple  answer,  each  girl  took  an  oath  on 
the  Bible  and  gave  the  pastor  her  hand,  in 
token  that,  with  God's  help,  she  would  be 
faithful  unto  death.  Then  to  each  he  gave  a 
Bible  with  a  few  words  of  advice  and  a  text. 
While  we  sang  hymns,  the  Communion  was  then 
administered.  'In  the  evening  we  had  a  Feste, 
—rooms     lighted    up    and     ornamented    with 


KAISERSWERTH.  153 

flowers,  etc.  All  was  so  simple  and  earnest, 
pleasant,  yet  never  forgetting  the  solemnity  of 
the  day.  I  never  felt  so  angry  with  English 
red-tapeism  as  now ;  Pastor  D.  writes  from 
Syria  that  the  English  hospital  is  the  greatest 
disgrace, — a  mere  shed,  said  to  be  good  enough, 
because  temporary ;  no  one  to  nurse  or  clean, 
etc. ;  sick  and  well  lying  crowded  together,  in 
a  place  where  water,  debris  of  every  kind,  skins, 
bits  of  meat,  and  vegetables  are  thrown  out. 
There  are  the  deaconesses  ready  and  willing 
to  come  and  help,  and  day  after  day  the  Com- 
mittee must  sit  to  consult  whether  they  will 
accept  their  help  or  not ;  meanwhile  many  are 
dying  of  want ;  the  end  w^ill  be,  when  they 
accept  it,  the  deaconesses  will  have  full  em- 
ployment in  their  own  house.  The  English 
send  plenty  of  money,  but  hands  are  wanting. 
It  is  no  new  thought  with  me  that  mine  are 
strong  and  willing  ;  I  would  gladly  offer  them  ; 
could  my  own  mother  bear  to  think  of  her  child 
for  the  next  few  months  as  in  Syria  instead  of 
Germany  ?  It  is  but  temporary,  and  yet  an 
urgent    case.     My  favourite  motto    came   last 


154  KAISERSWERTH. 

Sunday,  '  The  Lord  hath  need;'  if  He  has  need 
of  my  mother's  permission  to  her  child,  He 
will  enable  her  to  give  it.  This  is  but  the 
expression  of  a  wish,  and  if  my  own  mother 
were  to  be  made  too  anxious  by  the  granting 
it,  let  it  be  as  if  unasked  by  her  own  Agnes. 

*^  I  am  so  delighted  with  the  Advent-tree.  A 
fir-tree  is  brought,  to  which  hoops  are  fastened 
in  four  tiers ;  on  each  hoop  seven  tapers  are 
fastened ;  the  children  are  gathered  in  the  room 
and  the  questioning  begins  at  the  very  begin- 
ning of  Genesis.  When  the  fall  of  man  comes, 
the  room  is  darkened ;  and  when  the  first  pro- 
mise has  been  repeated  and  explained,  the  child 
who  could  repeat  it,  takes  a  card  or  coloured 
flag  on  which  it  is  written,  lights  a  taper  and 
ties  on  the  flag,  so  on,  till  one  promise  for  every 
week-day  is  given,  and  seven  tapers  and  flags 
are  placed  on  the  tree.  Each  Sunday  in  Advent 
a  new  hoop  is  filled  in  this  way,  and  all  the 
facts  and  promises  are  thus  graven  on  the 
children's  minds.  Poor  Sister  C.  is  dying ;  she 
said  to  me  w^ith  such  a  lighting  up  of  the  poor 
worn  face,  *  I  shall  never  go  home,  but  only  my 


KAISERSWERTH.  155 

body  will  remain  here  :  the  soul  will,  indeed. 
go  home.'  I  shall  miss  my  daily  visits  to  her ; 
we  love  each  other  very  much,  and  I  feel  her 
patience  such  a  lesson.  I  always  feel  it  as  a 
token  of  God's  good  hand  upon  me,  that  I  am 
not  over-anxious  or  unhappy  about  home.  It 
is  not  like  me  to  be  so  contented  when  far  from 
my  dear  ones,  so  I  feel  it  as  a  token  of  its 
being  His  will  I  should  be  here.  I  hope  when 
I  go  home  I  shall  have  solved  one  way  or  other 
the,  as  yet,  undecided  question  in  my  mind,  as 
to  the  benefit  of  deaconesses  over  other  Chris- 
tian workers.  One  point  I  have  long  decided, 
— it  is  no  antidote  against  sin  or  temptation  to 
become  a  deaconess,  but  whether  one  so  set 
apart  can  really  be  more  useful  than  other 
Christians  of  similar  earnestness  is  my  problem. 
Of  course  the  training  is  invaluable,  but  I  should 
say  that,  taking  a  deaconess  and  another  Chris- 
tian of  the  same  standing  in  grace  and  training, 
the  latter  might  do  as  much  as  the  former ;  the 
only  thing  is  the  training  both  in  outward  and 
spiritual  things.  I  have  an  idea  that  it  there 
were   a   system    of    parish    deaconesses,    with 


156  KAISERSWERTH. 

sufficient  relief  funds  at  their  disposal,  it  might 
really  be  better  to  attend  the  poor  in  their 
homes  (except  the  very  wretched)  than  to  bring 
them  to  a  hospital ;  the  variety  of  people  and 
the  want  of  quiet  to  read  or  pray  must  be  very 
trying." 

An  uncle  and  aunt,  who  were  spending  the 
winter  at  Bonn,  kindly  invited  Agnes  to  spend  a 
few  days  with  them,  and  her  next  letter  is  dated 
from  the  gay  scenes  of  a  boarding-house  : — 

"  Bonn,  December  28th. 

*'  My  own  darling  Mother, — I  sit  down 
to  write  in  a  scene  and  under  circumstances  so 
different  from  those  of  the  last,  that  you  must 
not  wonder  if  my  letter  partakes  of  the  bewilder- 
ment of  my  brain.  And  first,  the  contrast  of  the 
scene.  In  a  large  house  so  close  to  the  Rhine 
that,  as  I  sit  at  the  window,  I  see  nothing  but 
the  river  with  its  frozen  edges  and  large  floating 
masses  of  ice,  through  which  the  little  boats 
laden  for  market  seem  vainly  attempting  to 
cross, — oars  coming  constantly  in  useless  con- 
tact with  ice  instead  of  water.  The  opposite 
coast,  which  last  night  I  longed  for  daylight  to 


KAISERSWERTH.  I57 

see,  is  white  with  snow,  trees  with  bare  stems, 
and  houses  alone  giving  relief  to  the  glare, 
softened,  however,  by  the  snowy  murky  sky  and 
the  thick  fog  which  hides  the  lovely  hills.  So 
much  for  the  scene  without  ;  within,  large 
handsome  rooms  ;  instead  of  the  white- washed 
walls  and  painted  floors  to  which  I  have  been 
lately  accustomed,  here  are  painted  and  gilded 
walls  and  soft  carpets  ;  the  simple  cap  and  dress 
of  the  deaconess  replaced  by  gay  dresses,  flowers, 
and  head-dresses.  The  mannerism  and  formal 
politeness  of  general  society  do  not  contrast 
favourably  with  the  simple  loving  spirit  of  the 
Christian  circle  at  Kaiserswerth.  But  I  must 
tell  you  of  my  doings  there  the  last  few  days. 
We  were  very  busy  all  morning,  on  Monday, 
preparing  the  hall,  which  is  the  great  public 
assembly-room,  with  seats  and  benches  for  the 
party  for  the  hospital  Christmas  tree ;  then 
collecting  all,  first  washing  and  dressing  our 
fourteen  boys,  taking  down  and  settling  those 
who  are  most  ill  in  the  best  places.  One  poor 
little  deformed  child  of  twelve  years,  and  yet 
scarcely  as  large  or  as  heavy  as  a  baby  of  so 


158  KAISERSWERTH. 

many  months,  little  Otto ;  he  is  so  covered 
with  sores  that  it  requires  the  greatest  skill  to 
touch,  much  more  move  him  ;  now,  to  my 
great  delight,  I  can  do  everything  for  him  ;  at 
first  I  could  have  cried  each  time  I  touched  him, 
for  between  real  pain  and  pettedness,  he  used  to 
scream  so;  he  was  put  into  a  baby's  crib  just 
under  the  tree,  the  others  ranged  behind  on 
low  benches,  we  novices  stood  against  the  wall 
behind  the  deaconesses  :  the  large  hall  was 
crowded,  and  yet  such  order  and  quiet,  and  all 
was  ready  punctually  at  4.30.  The  tree,  with 
all  its  lights,  so  light  and  pretty, — nothing  is 
put  on  the  trees  but  paper-flowers,  gold  and 
silver  nuts,  small  apples,  and  a  few  little  ginger 
cakes  ;  on  the  top  are  four  large  gold-paper 
flags ;  round  the  room,  on  benches,  were  plates 
filled  with  gingerbread,  apples,  and  nuts ;  near, 
or  under  each,  the  presents  labelled  and  so 
arranged,  that  among  the  three  or  four  hundred, 
each  could  be  found  in  a  few  minutes.  The 
mother  and  Pastor  Strieker  took  their  places. 
After  singing,  some  questioning  followed  on  the 
promises   learned   during   Advent ;  then    some 


KAISERSWERTH.  I59 

stories  were  told ;  then  an  address,  specially  to 
the  sick,  closed  by  singing ;  after  the  presents 
had  been  distributed,  all  retired  in  order,  each 
laden  with  gifts  ;  most  of  these  have  been  sent 
in  from  well-wishers  to  the  Institution.  Such 
an  evening  as  we  had  in  the  hospital,  and  such  a 
time  for  days  afterwards, — drums  and  flutes  and 
all  kinds  of  music,  for  none  of  the  children  were 
too  ill  to  make  a  noise.  On  Christmas  morn- 
ing, or  rather  at  midnight  the  night  before, 
there  was  such  a  lovely  sound,  soothing,  but 
distinct,  of  the  hymn  sung  under  the  pastor's 
window,  and  heard  in  all  parts  of  the  building; 
the  singing  at  morning  prayer  was  a  real  Hal- 
lelujah ;  at  9,  the  morning  service  and  Com- 
munion ;  at  2,  another  service ;  at  4,  the  Orphan 
House  Christmas  tree,  at  which  my  class  pre- 
sented me  with  a  lovely  little  paper-basket  of 
flowers.  The  way  in  which  everything  is  done 
is  so  simple  and  genuine,  that  a  little  thing 
they  give  is  far  more  valuable  than  what  costs 
ten  times  as  much.  In  the  evening  I  went 
over  to  the  pastor's  house  to  ask  leave  to  be 
abbent  for  a  few  days  ;  while  I  was  there  we 


l6o  KAISERSWERTH. 

heard  singing  outside  the  door ;  I  knew  it  was 
the  deaconesses  come  to  sing  for  the  pastor,  as  he 
had  not  been  able  to  be  among  them  that  day, 
his  cough  being  so  bad.  He  made  them  all  come 
in ;  tears  poured  down  his  cheeks  as  he  listened 
to  his  favourite  hymn  of  praise  ;  then  he  said  a 
few  words,  exhorting  all  whose  hearts  w^ere  at 
this  time  specially  warmed  by  the  beams  of 
the  Sun  of  Righteousness,  to  try  and  spread  that 
warmth  to  other  hearts.  He  then  spoke  of  the 
work  in  Syria,  whence  news  had  just  come, 
and  where  he  hoped  the  last  travellers  had 
arrived  that  day.  More  than  fifty  orphans, 
besides  widows  and  young  women,  have  been 
already  gathered  by  the  sisters  into  their  three 
houses  in  Beyrout.  Another  branch  is  to  be 
established  at  Tyre  or  Sidon,  and  I  think  it 
likely  another  party  may  be  soon  sent  out.  Do 
not  say  I  have  given  up  Fahan.  I  have  faced 
the  possibility,  and  asked  myself  were  it  need- 
ful, could  I  do  it  ?  One  cannot  look  far  forward, 
nor  do  I  think  it  right  to  build  castles  in  the 
air,  save  to  count  the  cost.  I  feel  my  present 
training  may  be  for  a  far  distant  future.     My 


KAISERSWERTH.  i6l 


life  at  Fahan  was  perhaps  a  more  teaching 
school,  as  far  as  the  inner  life  is  concerned, 
than  my  present  one." 

*'  Dec.  2,0th. — I  cannot  tell  you  the  delight  it 
was  to  be  once  more  at  the  English  service,  to 
join  once  more  in  the  prayers  and  Litany,  loved 
always,  but  more  beautiful  because  so  long  un- 
heard. I  longed  for  the  people  to  join  in  the 
responses  that  I  might  do  so  too,  aloud,  for  I 
had  to  restrain  myself,  often  finding  my  voice 
the  only  one,  and  fearing  it  would  betray  the 
emotion  excited  by  the  very  lovely  sound  of 
those  familiar  and  dearly  loved  words.  The 
hundredth  Psalm  seemed  so  appropriate,  so 
home-like,  it  was  more  like  being  again  in  my 
mother's  arms  than  anything  else  I  can  imagine, 
and  oh,  the  deep  gratitude  I  felt  to  Him  Vvho 
has  brought  and  kept  me  hitherto  ;  it  was 
indeed  a  going  up  to  the  court  of  the  Lord  with 
my  own  people.  Such  a  God  as  my  God  is ; 
He  is  good,  more  than  a  Father,  so  tender  and 
loving.  May  He  give  me  grace  to  thank  Him 
for  the  deep  joy  of  this  day,  another  of  His 
countless  mercies." 

M 


l62  KAISERSWERTH. 


**Dec.  ^ist,  i860. — Onthis,  the  last  evening  of 
the  year,  and  under,  perhaps,  the  most  disagree- 
able circumstances  in  which  the  whole  of  it  has 
seen  me,  I  shall  write  a  few  lines.  I  am  wait- 
ing at  Cologne  station  in  one  of  the  numerous 
breaks  of  what  ought  to  have  been  my  three 
hours'  journey.  I  have  already  been  from  one 
till  seven  o'clock  in  getting  through  what  ought 
to  have  occupied  one  hour.  I  am  snowed  up. 
I  wonder  if  my  promise  and  wish  can  be  per- 
formed, and  whether  I  shall  reach  Kaiserswerth 
in  time  for  the  old  year's  midnight  service. 
Here  I  am  at  7  at  the  Cologne  station,  in  the 
so-called  ladies'  waiting-room ;  my  two  com 
panions  being  only  a  large  man  and  little  boy, 
both  strangely  clothed  almost  to  the  feet  in  a 
kind  of  pelisse  of  wadded  material,  chamois  I 
thought  at  first,  lined  with  fur,  but  now  I  see 
they  are  skin  coats,  the  fur  inside.  The  men 
here  do  look  so  effeminate,  large  wadded  cloaks 
or  pelisses,  with  tight  bodies  and  wide  skirts, 
a  muff  hung  round  their  necks,  and  enormous 
scarfs  round  and  round  their  throats,  in  which 
they  bury  mouth  and  nose,  and  yet  it  is  not  so 


KAISERSWERTH.  163 

very  cold  to  me  without  any  fur  at  all.  How- 
ever, the  snow  and  frost  have  been  more  severe 
than  has  been  known  since  1845 ;  the  snow 
to-day  and  yesterday  prevented  the  trains 
running,  and  Bonn  has  been  crowded  with 
storm-bound  travellers  ;  the  Rhine  has  its 
edges  thickly  frozen,  and  steamers  have  long 
ceased  to  ply  on  account  of  the  large  blocks  of 
floating  ice  ;  the  transit  of  small  boats  is  tedious 
and  perilous.  The  nun  will  not  soon  again 
leave  her  cell,  for  it  was  with  very  nun-like 
feelings  she  met  the  world  again.  8.30  p.m. — 
Well,  I  am  a  stage  further  on  my  journey,  and 
here  at  the  Dlisseldorf  station,  I  may  write  and 
amuse  myself  as  best  I  can.  Poor  nun,  she 
would  gladly  be  in  her  cell  once  more ;  how- 
ever, as  that  can't  be,  she  must  even  content 
herself  here,  not  being  able  to  make  up  her 
mind  to  face  a  hotel,  not  liking  to  pay  the 
large  price  asked  for  a  sledge,  and  the  roads 
impassable  for  a  carriage.  Another  put  off,  the 
train  will  not  start  till  10.20.  I  should  find  the 
house  shut  up  but  for  the  midnight  service.  If 
I  am  in  time  for  that,  it  will  make  up  for  all 

M  z 


164  KAISERSWERTH. 

my  troubles.  May  God  be  with  me  now  and 
then,  and  bring  me  safely  there.  May  He  take 
my  thoughts  and  heart  more  up  to  my  heavenly 
home." 

''January  1st. — My  lonely  walk  home  from 
Calcum  to  Kaiserswerth  in  the  sometimes  slip- 
pery and  sometimes  deep  snow  was  a  rapid  one, 
and  yet  I  found  time  for  prayer.  I  enjoyed  the 
vralk,  but  arrived  hot  and  panting  at  the  door 
to  hear  the  service  had  just  begun ;  to  fly  to  my 
room,  pull  off  wet  boots  and  put  on  others  and 
my  cap,  and  to  my  great  joy  and  gratitude  was 
in  church  at  11.30.  The  clock  struck  12  in  the 
middle  of  the  service,  and  we  were  startled  by 
the  sudden  burst  of  the  wind  instruments  and 
singing  of  the  new  year  hymn.  My  duties  are 
now  in  the  children's  hospital,  all  ages  from  two 
to  twelve.  It  is  a  new  life  for  me  in  a  nursery 
of  sick  children,  and  a  busy  one  too,  for  every 
moment  they  want  something  done  for  them ; 
I  have  the  charge  of  giving  the  medicines  too, 
which  is  no  sinecure.  I  am  in  such  admira- 
tion of  the  superintendent's  patience  ;  no  matter 
what  one  does  or  forgets.  I  never  hear  a  word 


KAISERSWERTK.  16  = 


of  reproach.  The  thaw  has  come  and  the 
Rhine  has  risen  so  rapidly  that  they  have  to 
set  a  watcher  at  night,  for  the  consequences 
are  often  very  serious  when  it  overflows  its 
banks ;  the  garden  and  many  of  the  village 
kitchens  are  already  under  water ;  here,  the 
stores  in  the  cellars  are  wet  and  the  river  is 
rising  still,  a  foot  every  six  hours." 

''  Monday. — Just  before  I  posted  my  last 
letter,  the  alarm  was  given,  *  the  water  is 
coming.'  It  had  been  hoped  the  danger  was 
over,  the  thaw  seemed  so  gradual,  but  this 
morning  we  heard  the  ]^.Ioselle  had  risen  much 
last  night.  The  approach  of  an  invading  army 
could  scarcely  cause  more  commotion,  and  no 
Vv'onder.  Five  years  ago,  the  water  was  eight 
feet  deep  in  the  dining-rooms  and  kitchens. 
Every  one  was  set  to  work,  but  in  military 
order ;  there  was  no  confusion,  though  the 
removal  of  the  contents  of  the  dispensary,  shop, 
three  kitchens,  three  eating-rooms,  two  work- 
rooms, and  sleeping-rooms  of  about  30  people 
to  the  upper  floors  was  no  easy  matter,  and  yet 
at  7  supper  was  ready  as  usual.     We  had  a 


l66  KAISERSWERTH. 

prayer  meeting  at  8  o'clock,  and  now  all  are  in 
their  beds.  To-day's  Psalm,  91st,  seemed  so 
appropriate,  so  we  can  lie  down  in  peace  and 
sleep ;  for  our  keeper  wakes  for  us." 

**  Thursday. — The  Rhine  has  already  sunk  26 
feet,  so,  I  suppose,  we  shall  soon  get  back  to 
our  old  quarters." 

The  exact  date  at  which  the  idea  of  going  to 
help  the  deaconesses  in  Syria  occurred  to  her 
cannot  be  fixed  ;  the  letter  has  been  given  in 
which  she  first  mentioned  it  to  my  mother,  but 
it  is  without  a  date,  and  my  impression  is  that 
it  was  not  received  until  January.  This  is 
confirmed  by  a  detached  paper  in  her  journal, 
which,  though  also  undated,  seems  to  belong 
to  this  time. 

"  Saturday. — This  evening  I  came  to  the 
resolution  to  write  home  for  permission  to  go 
to  Syria.  It  is  no  new  thought,  though  it 
rather  quickly  and  unexpectedly  came  into 
action.  Before  coming  here,  an  almost  unal- 
lowed, but  not  less  realized  motive,  was  that 
of  preparation  for  the  next  call  for  nurses, 
and  Syria  was  even  the  spot  with  which   the 


KAISERSWERTH.  l6^ 

thought  was  associated.  Suddenly  the  deter- 
mination came  as  I  sat  in  the  hospital,  and 
with  prayer  for  guidance  I  sought  Sister  S.'s 
advice  before  writing  home.  She  was  busy,  so 
I  sent  her  a  few  lines  before  going  to  bed,  and 
slept  undisturbed  by  anxious  thought.  In 
order  not  to  do  the  thing  hastily,  and  to  give 
due  time  for  prayer  and  consideration,  I  deter- 
mined not  to  dispatch  my  letter  before  the  usual 
day.     May  God  guide  and  bless  me.'* 

"Sunday. — Longed  to  impart  my  thoughts 
and  hear  a  word  of  advice,  and  yet  the  undis- 
turbed mind  keeping  unswervingly  to  the  pur- 
pose was  a  support.  It  will  be  a  new  and  diffi- 
cult life,  but  God  can  strengthen.  Oh,  may 
He  comfort  my  mother.  May  the  motto  which 
nerves  me,  nerve  her.  I  seem  to  hear  *  the 
Lord  hath  need,'  and  yet  till  the  answer  comes 
may  He  keep  me  in  prayerful  and  not  over- 
anxious waiting.  It  was  7  o'clock  before  I 
could  see  Sister  S.  I  told  her,  and  asked  her 
to  pray  for  me.  She  answered,  *  As  the  Lord 
shall  give  me  grace  to  do  so.' " 

**  Monday, — As    I    sat   this   morning   in   the 


l68  KAISERSWERTH. 


hospital,  I  felt  so  strongly  the  force  of  the 
words,  2  Cor.  viii.  5,  'first  gave  their  own  selves 
to  the  Lord,'  and  prayed  to  be  enabled  to  do 
so.  The  morning  passed,  and  as  my  pupils 
left  me,  I  took  up  my  Bible  to  search  out  more 
on  the  verse  which  was  so  on  my  mind.  A 
knock  came  to  the  door ;  it  was  Sister  S. 
bringing  a  message  from  the  pastor.  I  felt  he 
knew,  and  with  a  beating  heart  I  entered  his 
room ;  the  usual  kind  welcome  greeted  me,  and 
then  in  a  most  solemn  earnest  manner  he 
began  to  say,  that  having  heard  of  my  wish  to 
give  myself  more  to  the  Lord's  service,  he 
thought  he  could  put  before  me  a  more  urgent 
call  nearer  home.  A  letter  from  Miss  Night- 
ingale and  the  spread  of  Popery  in  England, 
seemed  to  have  suggested  what  I  soon  found 
was  his  plan.  But  I  could  never,  however 
willing,  be  qualified  for  the  post  he  proposes ; 
however,  I  gladly  accepted  his  offer  of  training. 
To  be  fitted  for  a  far  lower  post  will  indeed  be 
a  blessing  and  honour  far  beyond  what  I  could 
ask  or  think.  What  am  I,  who  have  been  so 
unfaithful  in  little,  that  I  should  now  be  called 


KAISERSWERTH.  169 


to  come  up  higher  ?  I  could  only  say,  '  My 
soul  doth  magnify  the  Lord,'  but  it  was  too 
much  filled  with  thoughts  of  self  and  outward 
disqualifications.  This  proposal  has,  however, 
opened  my  eyes,  and  will,  I  trust,  yet  more, 
to  my  own  inward  shortcomings  and  want  of 
heart-love." 

"  Tuesday. — This  morning  felt  so  oppressed 
with  the  thought  of  my  unfitness  for  the  calling 
put  before  me,  that  I  could  not  help  returning 
to  my  room  after  prayers  at  seven  and  remain- 
ing there  till  my  ten  o'clock  class,  in  prayer 
and  reading,  specially  passages  from  Jeremiah 
xxxiii.  Wonderful  words  indeed  I  read,  pro- 
mises, invitations,  encouragements.  The  pas- 
tor proposed  yesterday,  that  I  should  be  gently 
trained  into  the  habits  of  obedience  and  duties 
of  a  Sister,  specially  in  the  hospital,  then  by 
degrees  given  a  higher  position  ;  in  spring  a 
visit  home,  an  interview  with  Miss  Nightin- 
gale, a  return  here,  perhaps  to  be  tried  as  the 
head  of  some  department,  and  then,  if  by  God's 
will  and  aid  qualified,  ready  in  autumn  to  work 
with    and   under    Miss    Nightingale.     Such    is 


170  KAISERSWERTH. 

his  plan ;  to  me  it  seems  impossible.  Under 
others,  gladly  would  I  act,  but  I  have  not  the 
qualifications  or  self-reliance  to  be  a  head,  and 
have  neither  age  nor  weight  for  such  a  position 
as  he  offers.  The  Government  Nightingale 
Committee  and  the  Evangelical  party,  to  pro- 
vide,— the  one,  nurses  ;  the  other,  true  faithful 
Christian  deaconesses.  He  would  hear  no  ob- 
jection, so  all  I  could  say  was  what  most 
heartily  I  could  answer,  '  Time,  strength,  and 
every  talent  God  has  given  me,  most  gladly 
will  I  devote  all  to  Him  as  He  enables  me.* 
The  pastor  spoke  so  kindly,  '  Here  am  I,'  is  all 
the  Lord  needs.  The  training  will  be  invalu- 
able, but  not  for  the  sphere  he  thinks,  that 
could  never  be;  perchance  the  Lord  will  favour 
me  with  a  call  to  a  wholly  devoted  but  lower 
sphere  in  His  vineyard.  The  only  objection  to 
Syria  in  my  mind  is  that  Ireland  was  ever  my 
first  aim.  England  is  nearer  than  Syria,  per- 
chance, it  may  after  all  be  Ireland.  The  two 
requests  go  together  in  my  letter  to  mother, 
one  for  months  in  a  far  country,  the  other  for 
the  devotion  of  a  liie.     God  help  her,  whose 


KAISERSWERTH.  17I 

sp-crifice  will  be  the  greatest.  I  could  not  help 
sending,  i  Sam  i.  27,  28." 

Meanwhile  her  labours  in  the  hospital  con- 
tinued : — 

**  My  routine  is  now :  up  at  5,  dress,  make 
bed,  sweep  room,  and  read  till  6.15,  breakfast 
and  prayers,  go  to  hospital  at  7,  give  children 
cod-liver  oil  and  other  medicines,  then  begins 
the  washing  and  dressing  till  8.30,  children's 
luncheon,  then  there  are  several  v/ho  must  be 
fed,  mending  to  be  done,  etc.,  10  to  11  English 
class,  II  children's  dinner,  and  after  it  is  over, 
and  faces  and  hands  washed,  our  own  dinner 
comes  ;  then  I  take  the  children  a  walk  till  2, 
children's  coffee  etc.,  3.30  to  4  the  *  Stille 
Stunde '  in  the  church,  4  medicines  given,  5 
undressing  and  washing  of  children  for  bed,  7 
supper;  some  evenings  I  have  the  charge  of 
the  hospital  till  9.30.  This  is  the  daily  routine. 
Having  to  melt  my  ink  and  hold  it  in  my  hand 
to  keep  it  so  is  not  advantageous  to  letter- 
writing.  To-day,  when  washing  my  hands, 
actually  some  drops  which  fell  on  the  table 
were  frozen   before,  with   hall-dried    hands,    I 


172  KAISERSWERTH. 


tried  to  wipe  them  up,  and  now  I  write  onl}^  by 
dint  of  every  now  and  then  breathing  on  my 
penful  of  frozen  ink,  but  I  really  do  not  suffer 
from  the  cold.  Sister  Caroline  died  yesterday 
afternoon ;  indeed,  it  was  a  blessed  release 
from  fearful  suffering  from  internal  cancer.  I 
dare  say  I  have  told  you  of  her.  She  was  the 
head  of  an  institution  in  Frankfort,  where,  in 
the  cholera  year,  she  took  the  disease,  but  re- 
covered from  it  to  have  daily,  or  rather  nightl}'", 
increasing  pain,  wdth  which,  however,  she 
worked  on  at  her  post  till  about  two  months 
ago ;  since  she  came  here  she  has  been  much 
worse,  and  even  to  the  last  suffered  fearfully, 
but  her  mind  was  so  happy.  There  have  been 
more  deaths  among  the  sisters  this  last  six 
months  than  any  remember.  Last  night  we 
had  the  '  Monat  Stunde,'  that  is  the  monthly 
meeting  of  sisters  to  hear  the  news  from  our 
outposts,  extracts  from  letters,  and  the  general 
outlines  of  work  going  on." 

Early  in  February  she  w^as  placed  in  the 
responsible  position  of  superintendent  of  the 
boys'  hospital,  doubtless  with  a  view  to  tiain 


KAISERSWERTH.  173 

her  in  directing  others,  and  to  test  whether  she 
were  really  as  deficient  in  governing  power  as 
she  herself  believed.  It  was  no  easy  task; 
unruly  children,  little  accustomed  to  control, 
and  well  enough  to  make  a  noise  and  resist 
authority,  while  her  want  of  fluency  in  the 
language  was  still  a  source  of  trouble  to  her, 
and  created  many  difficulties  in  her  intercourse 
with  them.     She  writes  at  this  time  :— 

**  Had  I  not  too  much  to  do,  I  should  sit 
down  and  cry  sometimes  over  the  perplexities 
of  my  present  position.  As  one  of  the  head 
sisters  said  to  me,  '  It  is  not  as  easy  as  one 
would  think  to  be  a  superintendent.'  I  have 
the  smallest  number  in  my  charge  of  any  of 
the  hospital  departments,  but  I  think,  in  many 
ways,  the  hardest  to  manage,  for  ruling  boys  is 
what  I  never  had  a  talent  for,  and  some  are  s© 
naughty ;  then  my  former  comforter,  Sister  S., 
being  now  my  head  and  judge,  I  never  come 
across  her  without  being  found  fault  with. 
Last  night  I  put  a  very  naughty  little  boy  in 
the  corner,  whereupon  he  screamed  and  tore  at 
everything  in    the  wildest   manner^   and    ujt 


174  KAISERSV/ERTH. 


knowing  what  to  do,  I  put  him  supperless  to 
bed;  he  began  to  scream,  and  Sister  S.  came 
in  and  blamed  me  for  not  being  more  firm  with 
him.  This  morning  he  w^as  again  naughty, 
and  the  same  scene  was  repeated ;  Sister  S. 
came  in  and  sent  him  to  an  empty  room,  where 
he  was  left  for  two  hours,  and  returned  quite 
subdued.  Sister  S.,  however,  spoke  to  me  very 
seriously,  and  said  she  had  not  time  to  govern 
the  children  for  me  :  I  must  not  let  this  occur 
again.  My  assistant,  too,  tries  me  sorely ;  she 
is  willing,  but  so  slow.  I  feel  very  hopeless 
of  succeeding,  and  fear  abusing  the  kindness 
which  has  honoured  me  with  the  charge.  To- 
day, when-  out  walking,  I  could  only  keep  from 
crying  by  running  races  with  my  boys.  From 
5.30  A.M.  till  7  P.M.  I  never  leave  them,  and  then 
sit  in  their  sleeping-room  from  8  till  10.  I  fear  I 
offered  myself  thoughtlessly  for  a  work  I .  am 
not  qualified  for;  however,  it  is  well  to  find 
out  my  deficiency  in  time." 

*•  Thursday. — I  am  really  more  hopeful,  for 
matters  have  gone  on  much  better  and  I  did 
not  get  one  reproof  to-day.     My  boys  made 


KAISERSWERTH.  I75 

and  kept  a  resolution  to  improve,  and  I  had 
no  great  rebellion.  It  is  easy  to  contend  with 
one  or  two,  but  when  all  unite  against  '  Tante 
Agnes,'  as  they  call  me,  it  is  no  easy  task  to 
procure  peace.  This  morning.  Sister  S.  told 
m.e  it  would  be  well  for  me  to  witness  an  ope- 
ration to  be  performed  in  the  men's  hospital. 
I  went,  knowing  no  particulars,  and  found  it 
was  the  removal  of  a  finger.  The  man  was 
under  the  influence  of  chloroform,  and  after 
all  was  finished,  the  doctor  was  afraid  the  dose 
had  been  too  strong,  and  had  to  use  violent 
measures  to  revive  him.  The  knowledge  he 
could  not  suffer  made  me  witness  the  whole 
thing  quite  calmly,  but  it  would  be  dreadful 
without  the  chloroform.  The  cleaning  and 
keeping  my  dominion  in  order  is  such  a  busi- 
ness. Sweeping  and  washing  the  floor  of  the 
three  rooms  every  morning,  two  stoves  which 
must  be  black-leaded  weekly,  each  taking  an 
hour,  weekly  cleaning  of  windows,  tins,  dinner 
chest,  washing  of  bandages,  etc.,  besides  the 
washing  up  after  each  of  our  five  meals, — • 
keeps  one  busy.    I  am  beginning  to  iecl  quite  a 


176  KAISERSWERTH. 


motherly  love  for  my  boys,  and  they  improve 
daily." 

"  Sunday. — With  a  thankful  heart,  indeed, 
did  I  go  to  church  to-day,  for  it  was  light  and 
joyous  compared  to  that  of  last  Sunday.  I 
have  got  on  wonderfully,  and  can  only  thank 
God  and  take  courage,  for  my  own  strength 
was  and  is  powerless.  What  a  blessing  could 
I  be  indeed  the  teacher  and  guide  of  these  little 
ones  !  Yesterday,  we  sent  home  a  child  cured 
after  two  years'  stay  here  :  he  was  a  trouble- 
some fellow,  and  yet  I  was  sorry  to  see  him 
go  from  the  advantages  he  has  had  here ;  he 
has  no  mother,  and  will,  I  am  sure,  feel  the 
change.  My  poor  little  Otto  is  very  ill,  and 
besides  his  poor  back  and  numerous  sores,  he 
has  a  racking  cough,  which  makes  him  scream 
dreadfully ;  he  will  let  no  one  touch  him  but 
me,  and  between  dressing  his  sores  and  rub- 
bing his  poor  chest  it  is  an  almost  endless 
business.  I  was  so  amused  to-day  at  Pastor  S. 
He  came  into  the  room  as  my  boys  and  I  were 
going  to  dinner.  He  speaks  English  well,  and, 
having  been  tutor  in  an  English  family,  knows 


KAISERSWERTH.  177 

the  customs  in  England.  Now  I  am  so  accus- 
tomed to  my  way  of  living,  it  never  costs  me  a 
thought ;  but  a  soup  plate  of  vegetables  with  a 
bit  of  meat  on  the  top,  sent  up  with  the  chil- 
dren's porringers,  and  set  on  a  cloth  which, 
with  all  my  efforts,  I  cannot  keep  clean  even  two 
days,  much  less  seven,  is  certainly  rather  a 
contrast  to  mother's  dinner-table.  *.Do  you 
eat  here  ?'  asked  the  pastor.  *  Yes,  always 
with  my  boys.' — '  It  must  be  a  great  self-denial 
for  you ;  your  habits  are  so  different  ?' — '  Oh, 
I  never  was  better  or  happier.' — '  Well,'  said 
he,  '  I  trust  it  is  you  are  one  with  Christ,'  and 
so  he  took  his  leave.  He  had  just  been  with 
my  Otto  ;  he  was  pleased  with  his  visit,  and 
says  we  must  not  expect  too  much  from  a  child. 
I  trust  he  is  right,  but  it  pains  me  to  see  the 
clinging  to  Hfe.  To-day,  the  doctor's  order  was 
to  put  the  poor  little  chilly  creature  into  a 
room  without  fire,  and  all  the  windows  open, 
and  alone,  as  it  would  be  too  cold  for  other 
patients.  I  can't  understand  the  reason ;  poor 
child,  he  clings  so  to  me,  I  hope  I  may  be  with 
him  till  he  dies.     A  new  boy  was  brought  to 

N 


178  KAISERSWERTH. 

me  yesterday  by  such  a  nice  mother,  I  quite 
fell  in  love  with  her ;  with  every  new-comer  I 
feel  as  I  should  about  sending  a  child  to  school, 
dread  of  the  evil  influence  of  companions  pre- 
dominating over  the  means  of  good.  I  now 
generally  take  a  turn  in  the  starlight  on  my 
way  to  my  room  when  I  leave  the  hospital  at 
night,  and  the  same  heavenly  lights  seen  at 
Fahan  bring  happy  thoughts  of  both  the 
earthly  and  eternal  homes,  and  often  tears  of 
joy  and  thankfulness  for  my  happy  life  and 
many  blessings.  The  Kaiserswerth  Scripture 
Calendar,  compiled  by  the  pastor,  is  a  very 
good  one.  I  must  send  you  a  copy.  It  gives 
a  morning  and  evening  portion,  the  mid-day 
Psalm,  and  the  day's  text.  Monday's  was 
Luke  xxii.  24-30  compared  with  John  xiii. 
2-20.  'I  am  among  you  as  he  that  serveth* 
seemed  to  come  to  me  in  a  new  light.  Oh,  to 
follow  His  footsteps  more  truly,  not  only  in 
the  outward  but  in  the  inward  and  spiritual 
sense  of  the  words.  I  often  wonder,  will  there 
ever  be  deaconesses  in  England.  I  cannot 
however,  imagine  the  amalgamation  of  ranks 


KAISERSWERTH.  179 

and  duties  there  being  carried  out  as  it  is  here. 
It  would  be  difficult  to  draw  the  line,  and  yet 
I  often  cannot  but  regret  that  so  much  of  the 
sisters'  time  is  taken  up  with  the  most  menial 
occupations,  so  that  the  *  Stille  Stunde,'  two 
or  three  times  a  week,  is  the  only  time  for 
quiet  reading  and  prayer  during  the  day. 

"  On  Saturday  at  10.30  came  a  telegraphic 
message  from  Berlin,  announcing  the  death 
of  the  head  sister  there.  We  had  a  funeral 
sermon  yesterday,  closed  by  a  thanksgiving  to 
Him  Who  gave  her  all  her  talents,  and  allowed 
her  to  use  them  eighteen  years  in  His  service. 
When  I  hear  of  the  death  of  a  Christian,  those 
lines  come  so  vividly  before  me,  'And  make 
the  walls  of  heaven  still  ring  with  my  new-born 
melody.'  I  suppose  the  song  of  thanksgiving 
never  loses  its  freshness  in  heaven,  and  though 
as  one  learns  more  of  the  love  which  has  led 
us  through  life,  as  many  of  life's  mysteries  are 
more  and  more  seen  to  have  been  ordered  by 
Omniscient  wisdom  and  love,  the  song  may 
have  its  deeper  notes,  still  I  think  the  first 
buriit  of  thanksgiving  when  a  ransomed  sinner 

N  3 


l3o  KAISERSWERTH. 

finds  herself  in  heaven  must  be  such  an  out- 
burst of  joy." 

"  Monday. — I  wonder  if  I  could  ever  get  used 
to  living  in  a  town  ;  the  sight  of  a  lovely  rose- 
tinted  sky  these  last  few  evenings  was  so  tanta- 
lizing, seen  over  tiled  roofs,  it  made  me  long 
for  one  of  my  own  Fahan  sunsets ;  the  e3'e 
desires  a  sight  of  home  beauties,  as  the  heart 
does  its  voices  and  love.  Spring  seems  to  have 
comiC,  with  soft  mild  air  and  bright  sunshine ; 
at  night  I  often  think,  perhaps  to-morrow  I 
shall  find  some  hedges  bursting  into  leaf,  or 
see  some  other  sign  of  spring,  but  with  -day- 
light the  remembrance  comiCs  that  the  only 
kind  of  tree  or  hedge  here  are  those  weary 
straight  poplars.  It  is  well  one's  pleasures  are 
not  only  of  the  eye  and  outward  things." 

^^  April  Sth. — It  is  a  solemn  time,  as,  in  the 
hush  of  night,  with  the  smell  of  death  so  strong 
in  the  room  that  it  is  almiost  unbearable  even 
with  open  windows,  I  keep  watch  by  Otto,  who 
has  now  been  twenty-four  hours  in  the  last 
agony;  now  the  unconscious  screaming  of  many 
hours  is  over,  but  there  is  still  the  working  with 


KAISERSWERTH.  l8l 

clenched  hands,  the  grinding  of  teeth,  and  at 
times  the  death  rattle.  Oh,  I  feel  so  thank- 
ful no  poor  mother  has  had  last  night's  and 
to-day's  watch ;  it  would  have  been  agony  to 
her,  though  we  quite  believe  him  to  have  been 
unconscious  since  one  o'clock  last  night.  But 
it  teaches  one  something  of  the  depth  of  Psalm 
xxiii.  4,  '  Thou  art  with  me.'  That  can  truly 
be  the  only  comfort  in  such  a  time.  This  night 
will  end  my  Otto's  life  as  it  ends  my  super- 
intendence of  the  boys,  for  I  am  to  go  to- 
morrow as  helper  in  the  women's  hospital. 
This  is  a  quiet,  solemn  time  to  review  my  two 
happy  months  with  my  boys.  May  the  cru- 
cified and  risen  Saviour  cleanse  me  from  the 
guilt  of  the  past,  and  give  me  power  for  the 
future.  Every  night  I  used  to  pray  with  Otto 
after  they  were  all  in  bed,  and  he  used  to  put 
his  poor  little  arm  round  my  neck  as  I  knelt 
beside  him,  but  last  night  he  said  of  himself, 

*  I  will  only  now  pray  that  Jesus  may  take  me 
to  heaven,  and  that  I  may  soon  die,'  and  as  I 
had  put   my  face  near  him  to  hear,  he   said, 

*  Lay  your  cheek  on  mine,  it  does  me  so  much 
good.' " 


lS2  EAISERSWERTH. 

*'  April  lofh. — I  am  now  at  home  in  m.y  new 
station.  I  have  the  entire  care  of  four  women, 
also  of  the  medicines  of  the  twenty-four  in  the 
ward.  My  own  special  charge  have  sore  legs, 
which  must  be  hourly  attended  to,  beds  made 
twice  a  day,  rooms  cleaned,  etc. ;  then,  as  far 
as  I  can,  I  help  with  the  other  patients.  I 
have  such  delight  in  the  women,  reading  to 
them  is  like  reading  to  my  poor  at  home." 

*' April  22nd. — No  deaconess  has  the  per- 
plexities of  choosing  her  own  position,  or  de- 
ciding on  her  own  movements ;  unfortunately, 
I  am  not  so  pleasantly  situated.  But  you  must 
have  the  histoiy  of  my  difficulty  or  you  will  not 
understand  the  sequel.  Saturday's  post  brought 
me  a  letter  from  Mrs.  Ranyard,  which  roused 
man}^  conflicting  feelings.  First,  an  invitation 
to  be  in  Hunter  Street  on  the  27th,  to  be  in 
time  for  the  Bible  Society  Meeting  on  the  ist 
May.  Then  she  says,  '  A  friend  is  building  a 
house  for  me  in  St.  Giles's,  a  dormitory  for 
fifty  girls,  besides  our  rescue  home.  Your 
mother  would  sooner  see  you  settle  in  London 
to  help  me  in  the  great  work  of  Bible  women, 


KAISERSWERTH.  183 

etc.,  than  that  you  should  go  to  Syria.'  She 
then  proposes  that  I  should  come  to  her  to 
supply  a  want  of  some  one  who  can  devote 
time  to  visiting  and  inspecting  the  various  mis- 
sions, and  assist  in  the  choice  and  training  of 
the  Bible  women,  besides  managing  and  es- 
tablishing these  homes.  The  proposal  seems 
perfect  in  every  way,  and  I  only  felt  not  good 
enough  for  the  work ;  besides,  to  leave  this  so 
soon,  not  to  return,  is  a  trial.  I  was  pre- 
vented by  my  duties,  going  to  speak  to  the 
pastor  on  the  subject,  and  meanwhile,  a  large 
letter  was  handed  me  from  Mr.  — ,  enclosing  a 
plan  for  a  proposed  home  for  nurses.  He  writes 
to  ask  if  I  will  go  to  the  St.  John's  Wood 
training-hospital,  to  be  prepared  by  Miss  Jones 
there,  for  two  or  three  months,  and  then  take 
the  superintendence  of  this  nurses'  home,  which 

is  to  be  connected  with  the  infirmary  in . 

Most  patiently  and  kindly  did  the  pastor  give 
me  a  whole  hour  and  much  valuable  advice. 
He  says  he  would  in  no  way  influence  my 
choice  ;  according  to  a  German  proverb,  '  One's 
own  heart  and  one's  God  are  the  best  coun- 


184  KAISERSWERTH. 


sellers.'  At  the  same  time,  he  feels  the  work 
Mr.  —  proposes  might  be  a  centre  from  which 
boundless  'good  would  radiate,  if  it  be  really 
made  a  training-school  for  Christians,-  as  well 
as  nurses  ;  that  to  introduce  the  true  and  all- 
important  element  might  be  my  work,  and  so 
if  God  give  grace,  I  might  be  the  heart,  even 
if  after  training  I  cannot  be  fitted  to  be  the 
head  of  the  work.  He  advises  me  to  go  to 
London  for  the  May  meetings ;  I  shall  then 
have  the  opportunity  of  meeting  many  people, 
and  hear  the  views  taken  respecting  such  work. 
What  am  I  to  say,  when  such  work  is  before 
me  ?  Sometimes  I  think  the  question  may 
well  be  asked  of  me,  *  With  whom  hast  thou 
left  those  few  sheep  in  the  wilderness  ?  In 
the  pride  of  thy  heart  thou  aspirest  to  greater 
work,  thou,  who  wast  not  found  faithful  in  that 
which  was  least.'  And  yet  when  I  look  back 
and  see  how  I  have  been  led  from  step  to  step 
hitherto  in  a  way  I  could  never  have  imagined, 
I  can  only  say  to  God,  '  I  bring  a  willing  mind, 
and  if,  with  all  my  shortcomings.  Thou  callest 
me,  here  am  I,  only  do  Thou  touch  my  lips 


KAISERSWERTH.  1S5 


with  a  coal  from  Thy  altar.*  With  a  heavy 
heart  I  shall  leave  what  has  for  seven  months 
been  such  a  happy  home,  to  go  again  among 
strangers,  but  as  here  I  could  say,  I  am  not 
alone,  so  there  will  He  be  with  us." 

Agnes  probably  apprehended  some  abridg- 
ment of  her  liberty  to  avow  her  distinctive  re- 
ligious principles,  in  the  plan  proposed  to  her 

by  Ml-. ^  and  her  reply  to  his  letter  shows 

her  determination  not  to  join  any  scheme  of  be- 
nevolence in  which  she  could  not  have  freedom 
to  tell  perishing  sinners  of  the  only  way  of  sal- 
vation. 

"  Kaiserswerth,  v^/)n7,  1861. 

*'  Dear  Sir, — In  reply  to  your  letter  of  the 
15th  I  would,  say,  that  before  entering  into  any 

connection  with  the training-school  and 

home  for  nurses,  I  must  know  something  more 
respecting  its  basis.  You  sent  me  the  ground 
plan  of  the  building,  but  I  would  ask,  is  its 
foundation  and  corner-stone  to  be  Christ  and 
Him  crucified,  the  only  Saviour  ?  Is  the  Chris- 
tian training  of  the  nurses  to  be  the  primary, 
and  hospital  skill  the  secondary  object  ?     I  ask 


l86  KAISERSWERTH. 

not  that  all  should  be  of  one  Christian  deno- 
mination, but  what  I  do  ask  is  that  Jesus,  the 
God-man,  and  His  finished  work  of  salvation 
for  all  who  believe  on  Him,  should  be  the  basis, 
and  the  Bible  the  book  of  the  institution.  If 
this  be  your  end  and  aim,  then  will  I  gladly- 
pass  through  any  course  of  training  to  be  fitted 
to  help  in  your  work,  even  though  it  be  in  a  far 
lower  position  than  that  which  you  propose. 
You  must  be  prepared  to  find  me  as  yet  quite 
untrained,  but  willing  hands  and  a  heart  to 
work  for  the  Lord  as  He  enables,  I  trust  I  can 
offer.  If  you  still  think  we  may  at  least  try  to 
work  together,  perhaps  a  personal  interview 
would  be  advisable.  I  expect  (God  willing)  to 
be  in  London  about  ]\Iay  ist,  and  shall  see 
Miss  Nightingale  and  Miss  Jones  (of  St.  John's 
hospital),  but,  as  I  said  before,  I  shall  not  em- 
bark in  any  work  whose  great  aim  is  not  obe- 
dience to  the  command,  '  Preach  the  Gospel  to 
every  creature.' 

**  Believe  me  to  remain,  yours  truly, 

"Agnes  E.  Jones." 


KAISERSWERTH  187 

"  Marines,  Friday,  6  a.m. 

**  My  own  darling  Mother, — While  wait- 
ing for  the  train  to  Antwerp,  from  whence  we 
hope  to  sail  to-day  at  i,  I  must  try  to  note 
down  a  few  of  the  sad  but  sweet  remembrances 
of  yesterday.  I  really  knew  not  how  I  loved 
and  was  loved  till  the  parting  came.  Sister 
Sophie  comforted  me  with  the  words  of  some 
German  writor,  *  Those  who  love  in  the  Lord 
never  see  each  other  for  the  last  time.*  If  I 
could  tell  you  of  half  her  love  and  kindness ! 
She  was  indeed  my  *  Mutter  Schwester/  and 
when  I  thanked  her  for  all  her  loving  care, 
*  Oh,'  said  she,  '  your  affection  and  gratitude 
almost  make  me  ashamed.'  She  shamed  me 
by  her  thanks  for  what  she  called  my  confi- 
dence and  obedience.  The  pastor,  too,  begged 
me  to  write,  and  promises  help  and  advice 
whenever  I  need  it.  Had  I  gained  nothing  but 
this,  it  would  be  much  ;  for  the  counsel  of  such 
a  man,  with  all  his  experience  and  large-heart- 
edness,  single  aim  for  God's  glory,  and  simple 
childlike  faith,  one  feels  is  the  highest  wisdom. 
He  is  liberal  in  his  views,  but  as  he  said  when 


lS8  KAISERSWERTH. 


I  was  speaking  of  the  Broad  Church  party, 
*  One  must  not  be  so  broad  as  to  forget  there 
is  but  the  narrow  way  to  heaven.' 

"  The  future  is  as  yet  all  uncertain ;  I  feel 
the  way  must  be  made  very  plain  for  me.  I\Irs. 
Ranyard's  proposal  is  most  attractive,  and 
w^ould  be  a  good  training  for  work ;  still,  as 
my  leaning  to  it  may  arise  from  its  being  a 
comparatively  easy  call,  I  shall  wait  till  the 
other  way  is  closed  before  I  look  at  all  the  at- 
tractiveness of  this.  Still,  I  do  love  hospital 
work,  and  feel  it  is  a  position  of  boundless  use- 
fulness to  train  nurses." 

Thus  ended  Agnes's  personal  connection  with 
Kaiserswerth ;  from  the  first  day  of  her  arrival 
there,  she  had  thrown  herself  completely  into 
the  routine  of  the  place,  submitting  herself  to 
its  discipline,  and  taking  up  whatever  work  the 
pastor  appointed  for  her.  Sometimes  it  did 
seem  a  waste  of  power  when  she  was  obliged 
to  spend  so  much  time  each  day  cleaning 
lamps  and  stoves,  sweeping  floors,  and  doing 
other  rough  work,  which  sadly  tried  her  de- 
licate hands  ;  of  this  wc  only  heard  when  she 


KAISERSWERTH.  .  189 


was  lamenting  her  uselessness  in  the  hospital 
for  some  time,  as  she  had  to  keep  her  hands 
poulticed  and  handaged  from  the  injury  they 
had  received.  At  the  same  time,  we  must 
remember  that  much  of  this  was  voluntary 
work,  which  she  chose  to  do  rather  than  leave 
it  to  the  deaconesses,  as  well-born  and  as  de- 
licately nurtured  as  she  had  been,  in  whose 
daily  routine  such  ofhces  were  included.  Im- 
plicit obedience  was  one  of  Pastor  Fliedner's 
imperative  requirements  ;  and  Agnes  often  said 
she  owed  much  to  her  training  in  this  respect 
at  Kaiserswerth.  Her  greatest  pleasure  was, 
however,  in  the  hospitals,  and  there  she  became 
daily  more  convinced  that  nursing-work  was 
her  vocation.  For  years  she  had  delighted  in 
visiting  and  tending  the  sick  in  the  neighbour- 
hood of  her  country  home,  but  now  she  felt 
within  herself  powers  which  had  not  before 
been  called  into  action.  One  day,  soon  after 
she  went  to  Kaiserswerth,  she  was  in  the 
children's  hospital  when  the  doctor  arrived  to 
perform  an  operation  on  a  baby  for  a  hare  lip. 
The  sister  from  some  cause   was  absent,   and 


igO  KAISERSWERTH. 


the  deaconess  in  charge  turned  pale  when  asked 
to  hold  the  child.  Agnes  came  forward,  **  May 
I  take  hirn  ?"  The  doctor  looked  at  her  and 
said,  *'  No.  You  would  faint ;  you  have  not 
been  tried,  and  experience  is  necessary  in  these 
cases  ;  a  trembling  hand  or  a  momentary  faint- 
ness  might  be  most  injurious  to  the  child.'* 
But  Agnes  still  asked,  *' Do  try  me;  there  is 
no  one  else."  Perhaps  the  doctor  saw  the 
firmness  in  her  calm  brow  and  steady  eye,  for 
he  allowed  her  to  take  the  child.  She  never 
wavered  while  a  firm  grasp  of  the  little  suf- 
ferer was  necessary,  but  when  he  was  laid 
in  his  crib  and  she  got  away  to  her  room,  she 
indulged  in  a  good  cry,  yet  felt,  as  she  wrote 
to  us,  very  much  pleased  at  the  discovery  of 
her  nerve.  After  this,  she  was  tried  again 
and  again,  and  always  with  the  same  result ; 
it  seemed  strange  that  with  her  peculiarly 
tender,  sensitive,  and  sympathizing  nature, 
she  could  bear  thus  to  witness  suffering,  but 
God  had  given  her  the  power  so  to  realize  the 
ultimate  good  that  she  was  nerved  for  the 
preliminary  trial,   and  many  were  the   cases. 


KAISERSWERTH.  I9I 

during  the  next  few  years,  when  her  presence 
and  strengthening  words  soothed  the  hour  of 
mortal  agony.  But  in  all  the  occupation  and 
numerous  calls  on  sympathy  and  interest,  her 
home  and  her  poor  at  Fahan  were  never  for- 
gotten ;  every  letter  is  full  of  messages  to  the  cot- 
tages where  so  much  of  her  time  had  been  spent ; 
none  were  forgotten,  and  we  were  continually  re- 
minded by  her  that  such  a  one  should  have  blan- 
kets, another  warm  clothing,  another  nourishing 
food.  It  was  very  painful  to  her  to  think  that 
they  would  not  understand  her  leaving  them,  and 
that  it  must  seem  to  them  like  forgetfulness  or 
caprice ;  but  truly  she  sought  first  the  kingdom 
of  God  and  His  righteousness ;  and  where  she 
believed  He  willed  her  to  go,  there  she  went 
without  a  murmur. 


CHAPTER  m 

LONDON. 

**  There  are  in  this  loud,  stunning  tide 
Of  human  care  and  crime, 
With  whom  the  melodies  abide, 

Of  the  everlasting  chime  ; 
Who  carry  music  in  their  heart 
TTirough  dusky  lane  and  wransjiing  mart, 
Plying  their  daily  task  with  busier  feet, 
Because  their  secret  souls  a  holy  strain  repeat.'* 

\  T  7E  must  now  go  back  to  the  summer 
^  ^  of  1859,  when  my  sister  and  I  went  to 
London  with  our  only  brother,  who  was  to 
sail  thence  to  Australia.  After  his  departure, 
while  remaining  a  short  time  in  town  to  visit 
some  of  the  ragged  schools,  homes,  and  refor- 
matories in  which  we  were  interested,  a  friend 
kindly  introduced  us  to  Mrs.  Ranyard,  the 
editor  of  the  '  Book  and  its  Missions.'  As  we 
entered  the  pleasant  drawing-room  in  Hunter 
Street,  at  the  close  of  a  sultry  July  day,  won- 


LONDON.  193 


dering  at  the  cool  fragrance  which  pervaded 
it,  and  admiring  the  lovely  flowers  and  delicate 
ferns  which  seemed  to  take  one  far  into  the 
country,  while  the  constant  roll  of  wheels  told 
us  we  were  close  to  the  great  thoroughfares  of 
the  metropolis,  and  as  we  sat  and  talked  with 
our  kind  host  and  hostess,  and  heard  the  de- 
tails of  the  wonderful  transformation  which 
the  Bible  women  were  effecting  in  the  dark 
lanes  and  alleys  of  London,  we  little  thought 
of  the  link  that  was  even  then  being  riveted 
between  us  all,  and  that  before  long,  one 
of  those  eager  listeners  was  to  be  working  in 
the  same  great  field  of  labour.  The  revival 
movement  that  summer,  in  the  north  of  Ireland, 
attracted  the  attention  of  many  English  Chris- 
tians, and  when  in  the  autumn,  rest  was  de- 
clared necessary  for  Mrs.*  Ranyard,  she  pro- 
posed visiting  the  places  where  God's  blessing 
seemed  to  be  so  richly  poured  forth.  She  paid 
us  a  short  but  very  happy  visit  at  Fahan,  and 
Agnes  afterwards  joined  her  for  some  days  at 
Portrush.  Mrs.  R.'s  two  young  daughters, 
full  of  life  and  joyous  brightness,  with  all  the 

O 


194  LONDON. 


fair  promise  which  delights  a  parent's  heart, 
were  with  her;  a  few  months  later,  the  elder, 
a  sweet  and  most  attractive  creature,  was  taken 
up  to  the  better  land,  where  God  gathers  in 
His  loveliest  flowers.  The  pressure  of  a  work 
which  could  not  be  laid  aside,  even  when  grief 
for  such  a  loss  needed  quiet  and  repose,  seemed 
almost  more  than  human  strength  could  bear ; 
and  in  the  letter  Mrs.  Ranyard  wrote  to  my 
sister,  offering  her  work  in  London  if  she 
could  come  there  from  Kaiserswerth,  she  still 
further  urged  the  proposal  by  saying  she  really 
wanted  help  in  this  time  of  sorrow  and  de- 
pression. 

My  mother  and  I  arranged  to  meet  Agnes  in 
London,  but  circumstances  delayed  our  journey, 
and  she  had  been  three  weeks  in  Hunter  Street 
before  we  arrived.  Never  did  her  sweet  face 
look  brighter  or  happier  than  when  she  greeted 
us  that  day,  after  our  eight  months'  separation  ; 
she  was  already  fully  engaged  in  the  Bible 
mission,  and,  for  a  time,  the  thought  of  hos- 
pital work  was  laid  aside.  This  was  chiefly 
from    my   mother's    strong    objection   to   her 


LONDON.  IQ5 


undertaking  any  course  of  training  which 
would  involve  residence  in  a  hospital.  It  was, 
indeed,  a  trying  request  for  a  mother's  heart, 
to  give  up  her  eldest  child,  one  who  had  ever 
been  the  delight  and  gladness  of  her  home, 
to  a  life-work  which  must  separate  her  com- 
pletely from  her  family,  and  doom  her  to  spend 
her  days  among  the  saddest  scenes  of  suffering 
which  darken  the  face  of  this  bright  earth. 
When  God's  voice  speaks  directly  to  us,  and 
asks  for  the  return  of  the  blessing  He  has 
lent,  we  can  say,  with  bitter  tears  and  break- 
ing heart-strings,  ''  Even  so,  Father,  for  so  it 
seemeth  good  in  thy  sight;"  but  when  God 
speaks  indirectly  through  circumstances,  de- 
priving us  of  our  treasures,  it  seems  impos- 
sible not  to  resist,  and  to  question  whether 
it  be  indeed  God's  voice  that  calls  us  to  such 
a  surrender.  And  so  it  was  now;  but  that 
heavenly  Father  Who  knows  the  deep  tender- 
ness of  a  mother's  heart,  and  all  that  this 
sacrifice  involved,  sent  a  reprieve,  and  in  loving 
mercy  laid  on  the  burden  gradually,  which 
would  have  been  too  crushing  had  the  whole 

oz 


196  LONDON. 


weight  been  felt  at  first.  An  extract  from 
one  of  Agnes's  letters,  written  at  this  time, 
may  be  given  to  show  her  feeling  on  the  sub- 
ject :— 

**  My  want,  as  far  as  I  yet  know  myself, 
arises  from  a  deficiency  of  directing  and  super- 
intending power,  and  I  do  feel  this  is  one 
of  the  great  requisites  for  any  work.  Whether 
I  may  have  the  faculty  yet  dormant  remains  to 
be  proved,  as  yet  I  am  more  conscious  of  the 
want  than  of  its  possession.  The  solution  of 
this  question  seems  to  me  to  be  indispens- 
able before  I  ought  to  embark  in  any  training 
for  work  which  would  involve  my  becoming  a 
superintendent,  else  I  should  find  myself,  at 
the  end  of  a  year  or  two,  a  mere  nurse. 
Useful  as  a  woman  perhaps,  but  burying  the 
talent  given  me  in  my  position  in  society,  or 
leaving  me  to  make  a  new  start  in  another 
path  of  usefulness.  This  being  the  case,  it 
seems  to  me  the  wiser  plan  first  of  all  to  find 
out  what  my  powers  are ;  for  this  opportunity 
will  be  afforded  me  in  the  various  experiences 
in  Mrs.  Ranyard's  work.     This  is  not  turning 


LONDON.  197 


aside  from  a  purpose  which  has  so  long  been 
mine,  and  though  involving  neutrality  and 
delay,  is  not,  I  trust,  losing  time." 

To  another  friend  she  writes  about  the  same 
date : — 

"  I  want  a  life-work  to  employ  the  faculties 

which  God  has  given  me  :  they  are  not  many 

or  great  mentally,  but  they  are  His  gift,  and 

I  desire  to  devote  them  to  His  service.     I  have 

no    sympathy  with   the   High    Church    party, 

and   so   should   not   enter   a   sisterhood,  even 

were  I  free,  which  I  am  not,  from  home-ties. 

These  are  my  first  duties,  but  there  seems  now 

to  be  a  time  which  I  am  free  to  spend  as  I  like, 

— that   time    I   want   to   employ,  while    I  am 

young,  in  being  trained   for   some   sphere    of 

usefulness,  in  which,  if  spared  to  maturer  age, 

I    may  be   employed.      Whether   I    may   now 

enter  on  a  course  of  training  for  such  a  post 

as    that  which   has  been   proposed  to   me   in 

Liverpool,  and  for  which  there  seems  no  course 

open,    save   that    of    entering   as   one   of    the 

Nightingale    prob.  .loners,     at    St.     Thomas's 

Hospital,  for  a  year,  or  whether  I  seek,  in  the 


19^^  LONDON. 


practical  experience  of  work  under  Mrs.  Ran- 
yard,  the  knowledge  I  need,  is  now  my  diffi- 
culty. The  one  is  preparation  for  future  work ; 
the  other  is  immediate  entrance  on  it.  Did  I 
see  my  way  clearly,  I  could  delight  in  either 
sphere  of  labour,  though  there  is  no  doubt 
which  would  be,  for  the  present,  the  easier 
post ;  that  is  not  my  aim,  it  is.  How  can  I 
work  best  for  God  ? 

**  ]\Iiss  Nightingale  kindly  and  plainly  put 
before  me  the  trials  of  association  with  un- 
educated though  respectable  women  as  my 
only  companions  during  the  year's  training ; 
but  though  I  fully  realize  what  it  would  be, 
I  feel  as  if  I  could  meet  it,  were  I  called  upon 
to  do  so.  Trustfully  and  prayerfully  have  I 
left  it  in  the  hands  of  my  heavenly  Father, 
and  if  He  incline  not  my  mother's  heart  to 
allow  of  my  going  to  St.  Thomas's,  I  shall 
thank  Him  that  He  has  provided  me  with 
another  field  of  labour." 

As  my  mother  could  not  bring  herself  to 
consent  to  the  hospital  training,  it  was  arranged 
that  Agnes  should  remain  with  Mrs.  Ranyard, 


LONDON.  199 


and  after  two  or  three  weeks  we  returned  to 
Ireland  without  her,  feeling  quite  satisfied  that 
with  such  kind  and  watchful  friends,  who  cared 
for  her  as  if  she  had  been  their  own  child,  she 
would  be  perfectly  happy.  Very  few  are  the 
letters  or  notes  from  which  we  can  gather 
details  of  the  next  few  months.  Her  time 
seems  to  have  been  chiefly  occupied  in  prepar- 
ing the  Parker  Street  Dormitory,  which  was 
opened  by  Lord  Shaftesbury  on  the  5th  of 
June,  1861,  superintending  the  furnishing  and 
arranging  of  this  home  for  girls,  and  of  the 
refuge,  in  Dudley  Street,  holding  mothers' 
meetings  in  one  district  and  another  where  the 
lady-superintendent  was  absent  or  ill,  inquiring 
into  the  character  and  references  of  proposed 
Bible-women,  and  in  every  way  making  herself 
useful  to  Mrs.  Ranyard. 

One  of  her  first  letters  after  our  departure 
from  London  is  as   follows  :  — 

"  My  own  Darling, — I  seem  to  miss  you 
more  and  more  every  day ;  even  the  peeps  at 
you,  and  feeling  you  near,  were  more  of  com- 
fort than  I  knew  when  I  was  murmuring  at  not 


200  LONDON. 


being  oftener  with  you.  I  hope  you  are  en- 
joying those  lovely  green  fields  and  hedges  and 
trees  and  the  peep  of  the  church  from  your 
bedroom-window,  as  I  did  two  years  ago  when 
staying  at  Highfield.  I  never  thought  so  much 
of  the  beauty  of  trees  and  flowers  as  now ;  but 
I  am  happy  without  seeing  them,  and  shall  be 
daily  more  independent  of  their  enjoyment 
when  in  full  work.  I  do  so  look  forward  to 
beginning  my  dormitory  Bible  class  on  Sunday. 
Think  of  me  from  2.30  to  3.30.  It  is  like 
Fahan  work  again.  I  trust  I  may  be  taught 
to  teach.  Yesterday  I  went  with  Mr.  R.  to 
see  two  lifelong  sufferers  who  yet  rejoice  in  the 
Lord.  The  first,  Betty  Jones,  whose  fall  down- 
stairs thirty-two  years  ago,  caused  not  only 
such  injury  to  the  brain  that  sound  is  agony, 
but  brought  on  a  large  tumour  in  the  neck, 
producing  asthma  ; — to  prevent  the  suffering 
from  the  heat  of  the  bed,  the  head  and  neck 
are  placed  in  a  plate.  The  doctors  say  the 
least  elevation  of  the  head  would  cause  circula- 
tion to  cease  at  the  heart,  and  instant  death, 
yet  the  whispered  words  in  which  she  speaks  of 


LONDON.  201 


*  Blessed  Jesus,  in  everything  suitable,'  *  Just 
the  Saviour  suitable  for  me,'  and  the  look  and 
motion  of  the  hand,  all  tell  He  is  hers.  No- 
thing ever  moves  her,  she  is  so  iirm  on  the 
Rock.  Drury  Lane  is  close  b}^,  and  the  night 
the  theatre  was  burned  all  were  in  alarm, 
and,  for  her,  death  seemed  inevitable  ;  to  move 
her  v/as  death,  and  all  was  in  flames  around, 
the  air  full  of  sparks  and  burning  timbers, 
one  piece  of  which  entering  the  chimney  of  the 
next  house,  set  it  on  iire ;  *  The  Lord  actually 
carried  it  over  my  chimney  to  the  next,'  she 
said  in  heartfelt  gratitude,  and  so  in  her  closely- 
curtained,  darkened  nook,  she  waits  the  dawn 
of  eternal  day.  Through  endless  streets  and 
lanes  we  threaded  our  way  to  visit  Sarah 
Bird,  of  whom  you  have  read  in  Mrs.  R.'s 
magazine,  the  poor  creature  who  has  but  the 
use  of  her  thumb  ;  she,  however,  seemed  to  me 
in  luxury  compared  to  poor  Betty;  she  can 
read  and  bear  light  and  noise,  and  enjoy  speak- 
ing and  listening,  and  her  bright  expression 
told  more  than  the  words  of  thankfulness 
which    poured   from    her    lips,    of    the    peace 


202  LONDON. 


within.     She,  too,  has  her  trials,  but  she  said, 

*  I  am  ashamed  to  talk  of  my  suffering  when 
I  think  of  all  Jesus  suffered  for  me.'  I  am  to 
go  to  doctor  her,  for  the  eighteen  years  in  one 
position  has  caused  sad  bed-sores  ;  of  all  her 
body  she  can  only  move  her  head,  but  she  says, 

*  Is  it  not  a  blessing,  though,  that  I  can  do 
that,  to  see  those  texts  on  my  wall  ?  why,  look 
there,  Ps.  xxiii.  i,  '  I  shall  not  want.'  Want,  I 
was  very  near  it  once,  but  see  now  how  rich  I 
am.'  What  do  you  think  of  my  having  so 
much  to  say  to  the  Rescue-House  ?  I  never 
chose  it,  but  it  seemed  put  before  me,  and 
daily  becomes  more  my  charge.  I  feel  as 
if  in  the  way  of  duty  I  shall  be  kept  from 
harm.  The  only  thing  is,  I  can  scarcely  help 
crying  when  I  am  talking  or  praying  with 
the  girls,  still  I  do  not  think  that  harms 
them,  and  it  does  not  me.  They  are  so  im- 
pressible and  impulsive,  but  it  seems  over  in  a 
minute." 

"  Friday. — Fancy  me,  after  a  night  of  tooth- 
ache, and  a  day  consisting  of  Dudley  Street 
Refuge,     Parker   Street    Dormitory,    printer's 


LONDON.  203 


business,  investigation  into  complaints  against 
a  Bible  woman,  visit  to  the  same,  confronting 
her  with  the  district  clergyman,  having  to  as- 
sert Mrs.  R.'s  right  to  manage  the  case,  two 
hours  with  a  dentist  who  made  me  quite  com- 
fortable, industrial  kitchen,  etc.,  on  my  evening 
visit  to  Dudley  Street  finding  a  girl  had  run 
off,  then  a  disappointment  about  meeting  Lady 
M.  F.  I  did  not  get  home  till  ten  o'clock, 
and  then  found  a  dozen  letters  to  answer ;  no 
wonder  you  must  be  put  off  with  a  short  one 
from  your  loving  Agnes." 

*'  IVednesday. — How  badly  I  have  treated  you 
lately  in  the  letter  line,  but  between  business 
letters  for  Mrs.  R.,  extracting  from  the  Bible 
women's  journals,  and  studying  their  boun- 
daries, and  the  locality  of  Bible  Society's 
depots,  I  might  have  my  days  fully  occupied 
in  the  house,  yet  I  have  plenty  to  do  out  of  it 
besides.  All  yesterday  afternoon  was  taken 
up  with  a  reunion  at  the  most  magnificent  of 
houses  in  Kensington  Palace  Gardens,  then 
tea  at  Mrs.  Bayley's,  and  a  peep  at  a  mothers* 
tea-party.     To-day  I  thought,  how  shall  I  get 


204  LONDON. 


through  all  my  business  at  the  houses  ?  And 
then  at  breakfast  other  duties  were  so  mapped 
out  for  me  as  to  leave  me  not  a  moment  for 
them,  and  so  one  day's  business  seems  rolled 
in  another,  while  each  brings  its  own  special 
work.  We  are  to  have  a  great  day  at  Wal- 
thamstow  on  the  31st.  Tuesday  we  go  to 
Barnet,  and  stay  the  three  days  of  the  con- 
ference." 

"  Monday. — Last  night,  about  9.30,  Mr.  R. 
came  in  saying,  *  There  is  a  great  fire  on  the 
river,  will  you  come  and  see  it  ?'  We  all  set 
out,  and  drove  to  three  different  bridges,  ending 
by  the  one  nearest  to  the  fire — London  Bridge. 
Such  a  sight  as  it  was  !  Eleven  acres  of  great 
storehouses  on  fire,  many  vessels  and  barges, 
which  being  moored  close  to  the  shore,  could 
not  be  got  out  from  the  mud,  the  smoke  of 
every  shade  of  colour  reaching  up  to  heaven, 
wuth  flames  now  and  then  shooting  up  almost 
as  high  ;  tongues  of  fire  of  varied  hue  from 
palest  yellow  to  deepest  orange,  now  and  then 
completely  wrapping  the  walls  of  the  buildings, 
hiding  even  their  form,  sometimes  roaring  up 


LONDON.  205 


through  skeleton  walls, — the  roofs,  one  after 
another,  falling  in,  sending  up  sparks,  while 
beams  and  rafters  came  whirling  through  the 
air,  often  falling  on  some  doomed  vessel  to 
add  it  to  the  general  conflagration.  Sometimes 
the  smoke  rolled  back,  and  through  the  win- 
dows we  saw  the  flames  defining  every  angle 
of  the  ill-fated  houses  ;  then  the  oil  and  other 
combustible  substances  were  burning  on  the 
river,  and  one  felt  "  the  mighty  power  of  fire 
licking  up  even  the  water  which  should  have 
extinguished  it.  Not  only  was  the  fire  a  sight, 
but  the  crowds  of  people,  every  face  lighted 
up  by  the  lurid  glow,  bringing  each  individual 
of  those  mighty  masses  out  in  strong  relief. 
With  all  this  majesty  and  awful  grandeur 
there  was  also  much  of  surpassing  beauty. 
The  full  moon  looked  down  in  calm  serenity, 
contrasting  strangely  with  the  scene  below, 
and  there  were  times  and  points  of  view  when 
the  buildings  looked  unearthly  in  their  spectral 
beauty  ;  the  Monument  with  its  pillar  so  mel- 
lowed that  it  seemed  almost  ethereal,  its  mimic 
crowning  flames    were  indeed  flames    in    the 


206  LONDON. 


reflection  which  caught  that  point  with  a 
crimson  bronzy  glow,  and  then  St.  Paul's,  and 
some  nearer  towers  and  steeples,  and  the 
Houses  of  Parliament  in  the  distance,  each  in 
its  own  light ;  the  river  crowded  with  boats 
and  steamers,  the  bridges  with  dense  masses  of 
foot  passengers,  and  human  forms  crowding 
on  every  available  point,  all  gazing  hopelessly, 
helplessly  on.  Oh,  it  taught  such  a  lesson  of 
man's  impotency !  The  play  of  the  engines 
were  but  as  threads  of  water  on  those  miighty 
flames  which  seemed  to  revel  in  all  the  desola- 
tion they  were  creating.  On  Saturday  I  had  a 
very  interesting  mothers'  meeting  at  .  .  .  five 
German  women  were  there,  two  of  whom  could 
not  understand  English,  and  great  was  their 
delight  when  I  recapitulated  my  words  in 
German." 

**  Hadi.ey  Grf.en,  Barnet 

"  My  own  Darlings, — I  must  write  you  a 
few  lines,  as  in  about  an  hour  w^e  shall  be 
again  in  London,  leaving  this  place,  which  I 
am  sure  I  shall  look  back  to  in  heaven  as  the 


LONDON.  207 


scene  in  which  a  new  and  most  wondrous  leaf 
of  the  Bible  was  turned  over  for  me  and  by 
me.  The  notes  I  send  of  the  addresses  will 
show  you  what  were  the  lessons  learned  at  this 
w^onderful  conference.  As  a  whole,  the  con- 
ference, enlarged  this  year  from  the  select  four 
hundred  to  one  thousand,  was  not  so  much  the 
intimate  communion  of  saints  as  formerly.  It 
was  so  interesting  to  hear  of  the  many  well- 
attended  students'  prayer  meetings  at  Oxford, 
and  the  earnest  spirit  among  the  young  men 
there,  and  other  details  of  work  in  various 
places.  On  Tuesday  the  first  meeting  at  11 
was  opened  as  usual  by  Mr.  Pennefather  coming 
forward  on  the  platform,  where  were  gathered 
all  the  speakers,  lay  and  clerical,  and  calling 
upon  all  to  unite  in  silent  prayer  to  God  for 
His  presence  and  His  Spirit's  blessing;  this 
was  followed  by  singing  and  prayer ;  then,  one 
by  one,  Mr.  P.  read  various  requests  for  prayer, 
which  wxre  so  numerous  that  as  each  was  read, 
there  was  a  pause  for  silent  prayer ;  then  sing- 
ing and  addresses  till  i  o'clock.  We  separated 
then  for  dinner.      At  3  o'clock    Mr.    Denham 


208  LONDON. 


Smith  gave  a  most  striking  address.  Thurs- 
day evening  a  most  beautiful  address  from  Dr. 
Bonar.  On  Friday  evening  all  met  in  the 
church  for  the  communion,  after  which  there 
was  an  address  in  the  iron  room.  I  can't  tell 
you  of  half  to-day.  Of  all  the  kind  things 
Mrs.  Ranyard  has  done  for  me,  and  they  are 
many,  none  was  kinder  than  taking  me  to 
Barnet.  The  lesson  to  me  of  the  whole  has 
been  an  opening  up  of  the  richness  of  the  pri- 
vileges Christians  may  claim,  and  put  forth 
their  hands  and  take.'* 

*'  Dudley    Street,    Wednesday. — To-day   I 

had  a  long  talk  with in  whom  I  am  much 

interested ;  herself  the  child  of  sin,  she  seemed 
scarcely  to  know  right  from  wrong ;  when  in 
service,  she  says,  her  companions  were  very 
harmful  to  her,  and  it  really  seems  that  Mrs. 
W.  was  led  to  pass  by  the  door- step  where  she 
was  sleeping  to  bring  her  to  a  place  where  she 
might  hear  of  Jesus.  God  grant  she  may  be 
found  of  Him.  She  is  diseased  in  body  and 
soul.  Went  twice  to  Parker  Street ;  to  St. 
Paul's  Churchyard  to  buy  ticking  for  houses. 


LONDON.  209 


Mothers'  meeting  in  Bidboro'  Street,  only  six 
present  ;  tried  to  teach  them  the  lesson  of 
John  V." 

"  Dudley  Street,  Sunday,  25//?. — Morning 
class  not  as  well  attended  as  I  expected,  but 
still  encouraging ;  this  street,  with  every  shop 
open,  made  me  feel, — Is  no  seed  sown  by  all 
the  efforts  made  ?" 

''Monday. — Industrial  kitchen  ;  Victoria  docks 
mothers'  tea  meeting,  twenty-two  present.  In 
evening  Clerkenwell  mothers'  meeting,  most 
interesting.  I  do  so  enjoy  my  work,  though  I 
have  only  time  to  give  you  the  heads  of  it ;  the 
people  in  Parker  Street  seem  to  prize  my  Sun- 
day class,  and  some  who  have  gone  to  situations 
beg  leave  to  come  to  it  w^henever  their  mis- 
tresses can  spare  them.  I  paid  poor  Mrs.  P. 
my  second  visit  to-da}^^  which  she  seemed  to 
enjoy,  but  she  is  still  greatly  depressed.  I  am 
sure  I  have  need  to  study  my  Bible  much, 
coming  across  so  many  various  cases,  but  the 
more  I  see  and  hear,  the  more  I  feel  it  must 
be  God's  teaching  alone  that  can  help  or 
comfort ;  so  many  are  made  unhappy  by  man 

P 


2IO  LONDON. 


giving  a  wrong  place  to  some  of  God's  truths. 
This  week  I  have  a  proposed  district  nurse  to 
look  after,  and  a  Bible-woman's  German  people 
to  visit,  besides  my  usual  duties.  I  long  so 
sometimes  to  escape  the  noise  of  London.  I 
feel  as  if  I  could  walk  twenty  miles  on  the 
hottest  day,  did  it  take  me  to  some  lone  moun- 
tain top." 

"  Parker  Street,  Friday. — Spoke  to  

alone  ;  she  seems  to  feel  now  she  knows  the 
love  of  Jesus.  Victoria  docks  ;  visited  Mrs.  C, 
not  in  so  much  pain  as  last  visit,  but  weaker; 
she  says,  on  Friday  last  there  came  over  her 
such  a  feeling  of  Jesus'  love  ;  it  was  as  if  a 
voice  told  her  He  loved  her." 

*' August  i6ih. — Herr  M.  from  Berlin  called; 
spent  some  hours  at  Dudley  Street,  spoke  to 
each  separately.     Visited  S.  Bird.'* 

'*  Aiigiist  igth. —  Returned  from  a  most  enjoy- 
able visit  to  Chislehurst ;  such  kindness  from 
all,  and  such  intense  enjoyment  of  views,  air, 
and  flowers  ;  I  became  a  country  girl  again. 
I  found  many  letters  to  answer  on  my  re- 
turn.    Visited  Dudley  Street.     Mrs.   —  gave 


LONDON.  211 


me  a  most  affecting  account  of  — 's  interview 
with  her  father.  His  letter  of  forgiveness  did 
not  arrive  till  next  day,  so  his  visit  was  unex- 
pected. She  was  much  moved  when  she  heard 
of  his  arrival,  but  crept  out  tremblingly  to  meet 
him.  When  she  came  to  the  door  of  the  room 
where  he  was,  she  turned  aside,  burying  her 
face  in  her  hands  and  sa3ang  her  father  could 
never  bear  to  look  at  her  again  ;  no  words  but 
those  which  describe  the  reception  of  the  pro- 
digal by  his  father  could  picture  that  meeting. 
He  fell  on  her  neck  and  kissed  her,  and  they 
and  those  present  mingled  their  tears  over  the 
lost  one  found." 

''August  2S/A— Went  to  see  S.  Bird;  she  was 
in  great  suffering,  but  says  all  she  needs  is 
*  grace  to  praise  God  more.'  She  told  Lady  M. 
she  was  '  always  cheerful  because  looking  to  the 
things  beyond.'  " 

In  August  Mrs.  Ranyard  went  to  Switzerland 
for  six  weeks,  and  Agnes  took  the  whole  charge 
of  the  mission  during  her  absence,  and  on  her 
return  Agnes  wrote  her  the  following  letter  as  a 
sketch  of  her  employments  in  the  interval ; — 

P  2 


212  LONDON. 


*'  Dearest  Mrs.  Ranyard, — The  events  of 
the  last  six  weeks,  though  interesting  as  they 
daily  occurred,  will  not  form  any  very  important 
features  in  a  review  of  the  time.  You  left  us 
August  13th,  and  on  the  i6th  Herr  Neuhause 
called  with  an  introduction  from  Mr.  Moon. 
He  was  anxious  to  inquire  into  the  Bible- 
women's  work,  with  a  view  of  establishing 
something  of  the  kind  in  Berlin.  Two  ladies 
called  from  the  country  to  tell  of  the  work 
of  their  Bible  women,  but  of  the  eight  in 
Leicester  and  the  one  in  the  Isle  of  Man, 
you  will  read  elsewhere.  I  have  been  at  several 
mothers'  meetings.  I  held  those  at  Victoria 
docks  weekly  during  Miss  P.'s  absence.  Drury 
Lane,  Chislehurst,  Grey's  Buildings,  Whitecross 
Street,  May  Fair,  Cow  Cross,  Dudley  Street, 
Portman  Market,  York  Road,  Moor  Lane, 
Coburg  Row,  Dove  Row,  and  Stourbridge 
mother's  meetings,  I  have  either  held  or  been 
present  at.  The  question  of  their  boundaries 
has  obliged  me  to  hold  many  meetings  of  the 
Bible  women,  five  and  six  at  a  time.  Our 
numbers  in  Parker  Street  have  mounted  up  to 


LONDON.  213 


twenty-six,  so  T  wrote  to  ask  Mr.  Alexander  to 
send  us  some  more  beds,  which  he  has  kindly 
promised  to  do,  also  sheets,  blankets,  etc.  He 
was  much  pleased  at  what  I  mentioned  to  him 
of  the  manner  in  which  the  dormitory  seems 
really  to  become  the  adopted  home  of  the  in- 
mates, for  not  merely  is  it  their  abode  during 
their  time  of  lodging  there,  but  they  return  to 
it  when  they  leave  their  situations  ;  they  re- 
commend friends  to  try  it,  and  are  sure  to  spend 
part  of  every  holiday,  if  not  the  whole  of  it, 
there.  They  seem  also  to  feel  they  have  there 
a  friend  to  advise  and  help  them  in  their  diffi- 
culties, and  the  Sunday  afternoon  class  is 
attended  by  many  of  our  former  inmates.  We 
have  cases  of  those  who  were  longing  for 
spiritual  instruction,  as  well  as  for  respectable 
lodgings,  being  recommended  to  come  to  our 
matron ;  one  now  in  the  house  was  on  the  verge 
of  becoming  a  nun,  to  her  the  only  conceivable 
way  of  finding  the  peace  she  longed  for  ;  now 
her  eyes  seem  to  be  opened  to  a  better  way, 
though  she  does  not  feel  she  has  yet  entered 
on  it. 


214  LONDON. 


*^  IMrs.  S.  (one  of  the  Bible  women)  has  had 
Asiatic  cholera,  and  for  many  hours  her  life  was 
despaired  of,  but  the  grief  of  her  poor  people 
during  the  hours  of  danger  and  suffering  has 
encouraged  her  to  hope  that,  having  won  their 
love,  she  ma}^  be  enabled  to  lead  them  to  One 
Who  loves  them  far  better  than  she  can  do. 
She  has  not  quite  shaken  off  the  effects-  of  her 
illness,  and  the  deadly  cold  of  her  limbs  will, 
the  doctor  fears,  long  continue,  unless  she  be 
provided  with  warm  under-clothing.  I  spent 
one  most  enjoyable  afternoon  with  the  West- 
minster Bible  woman.  At  two  o'clock  I  went 
to  the  Coburg  Row  mothers'  meeting,  which  is 
very  small,  accounted  for  by  most  of  the  women 
being  laundresses.  A  little  school  has  been 
opened  in  the  same  house  for  destitute  children, 
who  are  entirely  kept :  four  only  as  yet,  as  the 
funds  are  low ;  they  seemed  well-behaved,  and 
sang  very  nicely.  Our  boundary  meeting  fol- 
lowed, and  I  could  not  resist  an  urgent  invita- 
tion for  a  7  o'clock  prayer  meeting  ;  thus 
time  was  afforded  for  conversation.  One  told 
how   she   had  had   doubts   whether   she   were 


LONDON.  215 


called  to  the  work,  and  had  asked  of  the  Lord 
a  sign.     She  went  to  a  house  where  the  woman 
bade  her  go   away,  for  they  had  more  Bibles 
than  they  could  read,  however,  Mrs.  F.  obtained 
permission  to  see  the  husband,  who  is  a  sincere 
Christian ;  he  so  enjoyed  her  reading  and  pray- 
ing with  him  that  on  parting  he  said,  '  I  know 
God  sent  you  here;  your  mission  is  from  God.' 
So  she  went  on  her  way  rejoicing,  knowing  that 
the  Lord  had  called  her  indeed.     There  seems 
such  a  nice  spirit  among  these  neighbouring 
workers.     They  go  to  each  other's  prayer  meet- 
ings, and  in  every  way  work  so  hand  in  hand  ; 
it  reminded  me  more  of  the  deaconesses  than 
anything  I  have  seen,  for  there  was  the  inde- 
pendence of  individual  separate  action  in  their 
work,  and  yet  union,  because  that  work  was  for 
the  one   Master.      I  have   visited   Sarah   Bird 
weekly,  and  much  enjoy  being  with  her.     One 
day  she  was  very  weak  and  low,  but  said,  she 
'  did  not  fear  death ;  she  heard  of  it  as  a  dark 
valley,  but  she  only  thought  of  it  as  lighted  up 
by  the  presence  of  Him  Who  promiocd  to  be 
with  her.'  " 


2l6  LONDON. 


The  rest  of  this  paper,  which  is  very  long,  is 
taken  up  with  accounts  of  special  branches  of 
the  mission,  interesting  indeed,  but  too  detailed 
to  be  inserted  here.  An  account  of  the  Bible- 
women's  day  at  Walthamstow  is,  however,  too 
graphic  to  be  omitted  : — 

''  Come  with  me  to  the  bedside  of  the  cripple 
of  London  Wall,  and  you  will  hear  her  earnest 
desire  that  to-morrow  may  be  fine  that  the 
Bible  women  may  enjoy  their  day  in  the  coun- 
try. And  now  that  that  day  has  come  and 
gone,  you,  as  well  as  she,  may  like  to  know 
something  of  it.  In  three  different  parts  of 
London,  at  lo  o'clock  on  the  morning  of  July 
31st,  there  might  have  been  seen  large  vans 
receiving  their  passengers.  And  did  you  inquire 
who  were  those  neatly  dressed,  pleasant  look- 
ing women,  you  would  have  been  answered, 
*  These  are  the  160  Bible  women  who  are  going 
to  enjoy  the  yearly  treat,  to  which  they  all  look 
forward  with  pleasure.'  An  hour  or  two  later, 
and  far  away  from  the  roar  and  din  of  the 
mighty  city,  you  would  find  ten  vans  setting 
down  that  same  party  at  the  door  of  a  country 


LONDON.  217 


house  in  Essex.  And  then,  by  carriage  or  by 
omnibus,  would  come  those  to  whom  the  Bible 
women  are  very  closely  knit  by  ties  which  are  felt 
but  cannot  be  explained.  Watch  them  a  little 
and  see  the  meeting  between  the  Bible  woman 
and  her  lady-superintendent,  or  listen  to  the  tones 
of  regret  in  which  the  one  assigns  a  reason  for 
the  absence  of  the  other,  and  you  will  feel  how 
the  pleasures  of  the  day  are  doubled  by  being 
shared.  Now  let  us  try  to  recall  the  scene — a 
contrast,  indeed,  to  that  left  but  a  few  hours 
before.  Soft  grass  beneath  the  feet,  and  lovely 
flowers  and  trees  around,  and  God's  bright  sky 
abo\'e,  and  the  glorious  sun  shining  as  it  only 
seems  to  shine  in  the  country,  and  the  air  so 
pure  and  clear  that  you  seem  to  realize  in  the 
gladness  of  your  heart  a  fresh  feeling  of  the 
goodness  of  Him  of  Whom  you  can  say,  '  My 
Father  made  them  all.'  And  if  you  join  the 
scattered  groups,  you  hear  nothing  discordant 
with  the  feelings  of  the  moment  ;  but  how  He 
Who  made  all  these  bright  flowers  and  trees, 
those  playful  rabbits  and  fair  children,  is  not 
God  alone  of  the  country  but  also  of  the  town. 


2l8  LONDON. 


"  The  bell  has  rung  ;  let  us  follow  the  women 
into  that  large  tent  and  see  how  bounteous  a 
provision  has  been  made  for  their  refreshment. 
Nor  are  the  women  there  alone  ;  the  ladies,  as 
well  as  their  host  and  hostess,  are  caring  that 
each  should  be  provided  for  according  to  her 
taste.  Now  they  have  sung  a  hymn  and  dis- 
persed through  the  grounds ;  we  shall  join 
some  of  them  and  hear  some  sad  tales.  Oh,  if 
we  were  to  tell  of  the  night  that  one  spent 
seeking  a  little  girl  who  had  left  her  home, 
what  revelations  were  made  to  eye  and  ear  of 
the  wickedness,  not  only  of  men  and  women, 
but  also  of  children.  But  is  not  the  day  too 
lovely  so  to  mar  its  brightness  ?  we  would  rather 
tell  the  other  side.  Here  is  one  who  speaks  of 
the  sick-bed  she  has  lately  left ;  on  it  lies  a 
woman  gasping  for  breath,  the  unnatural 
sharpening  of  the  nose  telling  her  end  is  near; 
beside  her,  a  little  one  sick  too,  but  sleeping 
now.  She  tells  of  such  a  revelation  of  Jesus* 
love  to  her,  as  vivid  as  a  voice  telling  her  He 
loved  her.  Once  before  she  heard  that  voice. 
Months  ago  she  was  outside  her  door ;  a  pious 
neighbour   heard   her  cough,   and  warned   her 


LONDON.  219 


that  soon  perhaps  she  would  lie  sick  unto 
death,  and  then  how  would  it  be  with  her  soul  ? 
She  would  not  listen,  but  the  words  stuck  to 
her.  The  neighbour  came  to  pray  with  her, 
and  one  night  the  never-forgotten  question  was 
answered.  She  was  rising  from  her  bed  to 
pray,  and,  as  it  were  beside  her,  she  heard  a 
voice  saying  to  her,  '  Thy  sins  are  forgiven 
thee.'  How  gladly  thenceforth  she  came  to  the 
mothers'  meetings,  from  which  she  was  never 
absent  when  it  was  possible  to  attend.  Then 
listen  to  this  death-bed  scene ;  there  is  one  in 
great  bodily  suffering,  yet  enjoying  the  peace 
which  passeth  all  understanding.  A  week  since 
the  Bible  woman  left  her,  apparently  careless, 
but  with  her  sickness,  the  Spirit  brought  to  her 
remembrance  words  heard  long  since  in  that 
novv'  to  her  '  blessed  mission  room.'  You  hear 
of  infidels  converted,  by  God's  blessing,  on  the 
reading  of  His  Word  brought  to  their  doors  by 
these  women,  and  of  scenes  such  as  this  :  *  One 
day  I  opened  a  door  to  see,  as  I  thought,  a 
corpse  on  the  bed  before  me  ;  horror  struck,  I 
closed  it  on  that  chamber  of  death,  but  felt,  as 


220  LONDON. 


it  were,  forced  into  the  room  and  down  on  my 
knees  beside  that  bed.  I  prayed,  and  the  eyes 
of  the  seeming  corpse  opened.  '  Who  are  you  ? 
Who  sent  j^ou  here  with  those  words  for  me  7* 
Oh,  it  was  because  Christ  would  have  that  soul 
with  Him  for  ever,  for  she  was  only  spared  to 
hear  from  Him,  *  To-day  shalt  thou  be  with 
me  in  paradise.' 

"  Here  is  a  woman  from  a  country  district, 
and  but  a  partial  description  can  be  given  of  one 
house  she  entered  :  five  motherless  children, 
with  a  bad  father,  left  all  but  naked ;  a  boy  of 
fourteen  with  only  a  ragged  pair  of  trousers, 
into  one  leg  of  which  an  arm  was  thrust ;  a  girl 
but  a  year  younger  and  three  other  children  in 
a  similar  plight ;  now  clothed  and  cared  for, 
they  go  to  school,  and  the  boy  is  in  emplo3^ment. 
Shall  not  these  things  come  up  in  remembrance 
before  the  King  of  Kings  ?  All  is  not  bright  in 
the  Bible-woman's  path,  however ;  many  are 
her  discouragements,  but  her  work  is  with  the 
Lord,  and  her  reward  with  her  God,  even 
though  she  should  be  called  to  lie,  as  one  now 
does,  in  all  the  agony  of  cholera,  brought  on  by 


LONDON.  221 


the  malaria  caused  by  the  late  great  fire  in  her 
neighbourhood.  The  pleasant  day  is  near  its 
close,  and  again  all  are  gathered  in  the  tent, 
and  after  tea  addresses  are  given  ;  a  faithful 
word  in  season,  urging  them  to  search  and  see 
first  that  their  own  hearts  are  right  with  God, 
to  examine  whether  they  can  tell  to  dying 
sinners  of  a  Saviour  they  have  found,  and  im- 
pressing on  them  the  importance  of  themselves 
drinking  deeply  of  the  well  of  life,  searching 
their  Bibles  and  holding  communion  with 
heaven,  drawing  thence  each  day's  and  hour's 
supplies,  and  so  maintaining  personal  holiness, 
as  by  their  life  and  conduct  to  be  seen  as  living 
epistles,  '  known  and  read  of  all  men.'  And 
then  they  separate,  having  had  this  word  of 
God  given  them  as  their  motto  in  the  work  to 
which,  with  new  vigour,  they  hope  to  return. 
Col.  iii.  23,  24." 

Early  in  October,  Agnes  came  home  for  a 
short  visit,  and  most  warmly  was  she  welcomed 
by  her  poor  people  at  Fahan,  who  had  often 
asked  reproachfully  had  she  forgotten  them, 
and  was  she  never  coming  back.     It  was  hard 


222  LONDON. 


to  tell  them  that  this  was  only  a  visit,  and  that 
the  sunshine  of  her  frequent  presence  was  no 
longer  to  brighten  their  cottage  homes.  On 
her  journey  home  she  wrote  to  my  mother  : — 

*'  Indeed,  darling,  this  must  be  but  a  visit. 
If  it  were  to  have  been  otherwise,  I  believe 
God  would  have  given  me  those  to  whom  to 
hand  over  my  work  before  leaving  it ;  such, 
however,  with  all  my  endeavours,  was  not  the 
case,  and  till  my  way  is  made  clear  thus  to  give 
it  up,  I  must  keep  on.  I  love  it  more  than  I 
could  have  imagined,  and  neither  did  I  believe 
I  was  so  loved  by  my  fellow-workers  as  this 
parting  has  proved  ;  therefore,  in  many  ways  I 
shall  return  more  sure  of  my  position,  and 
having  it  brightened  by  the  consciousness  of 
affection.  Unless  you  absolutely  withhold  your 
consent,  I  hope  certainly  to  return,  and  I  feel  I 
must  tr3'%  wdien  at  home,  to  keep  myself  freer 
than  before  from  the  all-engrossing  interests 
which  are  still  to  me  as  great  as  before  I  left 
home,  and  which  I  dread  again  to  break.  I 
almost  fear  to  return  to  my  poor,  lest  it  should 
make  me  doubt  what  my  next  step  ought  to  be 


LONDON.  223 


— whether  to  remain  at  Fahan  or  return  to 
London." 

This  feeling,  and  the  intense  love  she  bore 
everything  at  Fahan,  made  this  visit  one  of 
very  mingled  feelings  to  her.  At  first  the  en- 
joyment of  the  pure  country  air,  the  mountain 
walks,  and  all  the  sights  and  sounds  of  home 
seemed  perfect ;  but  as,  day  after  day,  the  time 
drew  nearer  for  her  departure,  one  could  see 
the  struggle  in  her  mind,  though  there  was 
"uo  doubt  as  to  where  the  path  of  duty  lay.  We 
let  her  go  the  less  grudgingly  this  time,  because 
we  had  settled  to  spend  the  ensuing  winter  in 
Italy,  and  hoped  to  see  her  in  London  in  a  few 
weeks,  deluding  ourselves  with  a  faint  hope 
that  she  might  be  persuaded  to  accompany  us. 
From  Dublin,  where  she  spent  a  few  days  on 
her  return  journey,  she  wrote  : — 

*'  I  must  write  a  few  lines,  to  tell  you  of  my 
exceeding  enjoyment  in  renewing  old  and  valu- 
able friendships.  I  paid  Mr.  Hare  a  visit  in 
his  study;  a  heavy  cold  had  prevented  him 
preaching,  but  he  said  a  few  words  on  '  Fellow- 
ship with  Jesus.'     This,  he  says,  is  not  as  we 


LONDON". 


fancy,  a  kind  of  ecstatic  state,  but,  even  if  we 
have  known  this,  it  is  more  real  perhaps  when, 
overwhelmed  with  care  or  sorrow,  w'e  find  the 
promise  fulfilled,  *  My  grace  is  sufficient  for 
thee.'  On  Sunday  I  went  to  Trinity  Church 
again,  where  Mr.  Gregg  preached  on  the 
twenty-second  anniversary  of  its  opening. 
Afterwards  I  went  to  Lurgan  Street  Ragged 
School,  where  I  was  very  kindly  received,  and 
found  many  changes  and  improvements,  plenty 
of  teachers  and  room  ;  but  Lurgan  Street  has 
a  fascination  to  me  from  old  memories.  I  think 
I  never  enjoyed  anything  more  than  teaching 
there  eleven  years  ago." 

When  we  arrived  in  London,  early  in  De- 
cember, we  found  her  looking  thin  and  ill,  and 
she  confessed  that  she  had  been  suffering  from 
a  wearying  pain  in  the  brow,  and  had  consulted 
Dr.  Kidd  about  it.  His  remedies  gave  her 
temporary  relief,  but  it  was  evident  she  was 
not  strong  or  well,  and  we  urged  on  her  very 
strongly  that  accompanying  us  to  Italy  would 
be  the  best  cure.  This  seemed  to  her  like 
abandoning  her  post,   and   she    could   not    be 


LONDON.  225 


persuaded  to  think  of  it.  Ten  days  later,  at 
Genoa,  we  found  a  letter  from  her,  saying  that 
she  had  been  so  ill  that  Dr.  Kidd  had  ordered 
her  change  of  air  : — 

''  Mrs.  R.  insisted  on  my  going  to  see  Dr.  K. 
this  morning,  as  I  was  in  agony  with  a  new 
pain  in  the  head  and  brain,  worse  than  ever  to- 
day. He  says  all  comes  from  weakness  ;  that 
I  am  not  as  strong  as  1  look,  that  I  must  have 
change  of  air,  so  I  have  written  to  ask  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  F.  if  I  may  go  to  them,  at  Highfield, 
for  a  few  days." 

The  rest  and  country  quiet  of  our  dear 
friends'  lovely  rectory  had  a  marvellous  effect, 
and  a  short  visit  sufficed  to  recruit  her 
strength.  She  had  felt  much  depriving  Mrs. 
Raynard  of  her  help  in  that  peculiarly  busy 
month  of  December,  and  was  anxious  to  re- 
turn as  soon  as  possible  to  her  duties.  They 
were  soon  to  be  once  more  interrupted,  and 
this  time  not  to  be  again  resumed.  The 
graphic  and  loving  pen  which  bore  affectionate 
testimony  to  her  life-work  in  the  April  number 
(1868)  of  the  *  Missing   Link  Magazine,'  must 

Q 


226  LONDON. 


here  tell  the  story  of  that  unexpected  break  : — 
"The  record  of  her  visits  was  scarcely  com- 
pleted on  New  Year's  Eve,  when  the  postman's 
knock/  which  conveys  to  some  hearts,  with 
every  hour,  the  burden  of  grief  and  pain,, 
brought  news  to  Hunter  Street,  which  had 
been  six  days  on  the  road,  from  Italy ;  news 
of  sickness  and  dear  relative  claims,  which 
might  sever  this  true  helper  from  our  mis- 
sion, and  make  these  the  last  of  her  London 
visits.  Her  dear  sister  lay  ill  of  fever  at  Rome. 
Ten  minutes  afterwards  followed  the  telegram, 
which  had  been  only  six  hours  on  the  road. 
*  We  wish  you  to  come  to  us  at  once.'  And 
we  had  to  learn  to  do  without  one  who  had 
seemed  given  of  God  to  especial  need,  and  who 
was  endowed  with  a  gift  of  such  special  fitness 
as  is  very  rarely  equalled." 

That  personal  courage  was  one  of  Agnes's 
characteristics  will  be  doubted  by  none  who 
have  read  the  account  of  her  journey  from  Co- 
logne to  Kaiserswerth  in  a  snowstorm.  On 
that  occasion,  to  fulfil  her  promise  of  being 
present    at  the  midnight    service;  she    braved 


LONDON.  227 


the  perils  of  the  way,  and  now  she  starts  alone 
on  a  far  more  distant  journey,  anxiety  pressing 
on  her  heart,  and  fear  darkening  the  future.  To 
my  aunt  she  gives  the  history  of  the  journey 
as  follows  : — 

"  CiviTA  Vecchia,  Monday, 

"  Dearest  Aunt, — Here  I  am  for  the  night, 
unable  to  get  on,  when  every  hour  is  of  im- 
portance ;  one  almost  asks,  *  Why  is  delay  per- 
mitted ?'  And  yet  all  is  ordered,  and  ordered 
for  the  best.  Perchance  that  loving  Father, 
knowing  what  I  fear  is  before  me,  saw  that  I 
needed  a  quiet  night  to  strengthen  me.  But 
I  must  tell  5^ou  all  the  past,  for  I  dare  not,  will 
not,  think  of  the  future.  On  Wednesday  even- 
ing, Mrs.  R.  and  I  had  not  long  returned  from 
the  Scripture  dissolving- views  for  St.  Giles's, 
when  I  received  mamma's  letter.  She  had 
said  in  her  first,  J.  was  poorly,  and  this  sent 
a  pang  through  me  ;  not  an  hour  after  came 
the  telegram  ;  this  was  about  ten  at  night.  I 
flew  in  next  door  for  *  Bradshaw,'  but  soon  re- 
membered that  the  next  night  was  the  soonest  I 
could  get  off,  on  account  of  the  passport ;  also, 


228  LONDON. 


that  that  would  be  time  enough  to  catch  the 
Saturday  boat ;  then  one  must  wait,  and  wait 
calmly,  too,  and  I  made  up  my  mind  I  would 
go  at  once  to  bed  and  sleep,  and  not  think  ;  so 
I  asked  of  God  the  refreshing  sleep  which  He 
gave.  Of  course  there  was  much  mission  bu- 
siness I  must  leave  settled ;  it  was  due  to  Mrs. 
R.,  who  was  really  placed  in  a  most  difficult 
position  by  my  sudden  departure  ;  no  words  can 
tell  all  the  kindness  and  sympathy  shown  me 
by  them  all ;  so  I  went  before  breakfast  to  give 
directions  to  H.,  then  dear  Mrs.  R.  would 
come  with  me  to  Mr.  Kinnaird,  whose  order 
got  me  a  passport  at  once,  then  to  Dr.  Kidd, 
who  gave  me  directions  what  to  do,  and  said, 
that  I  am  now  equal  to  the  journey,  and  it 
may,  with  God's  blessing,  add  to  me  years  of 
health,  so  God  out  of  evil  brings  good  to  His 
own.  I  had  accounts  to  settle,  bid  all  good- 
byes, buy  some  necessaries,  and  be  back  for 
dinner  at  2,  then  packing  with  many  interrup- 
tions ;  at  6  I  was  ready,  and  then  we  had  tea, 
and  Mrs.  R.  came  in  to  muffle  me,  and  we 
had  our  last  prayer  together.     Mr.  R.  took  me 


LONDON.  229 


to  the  train ;  at  8.30  I  began  the  journey,  and 
reached  Paris  at  8  next  morning.  I  had  an  old 
lady  and  her  companion  in  the  carriage;  be- 
fore reaching  Paris,  she  found  out  my  connec- 
tion with  the  '  Book  and  its  Mission,'  and  I 
found  her  a  very  dear  Christian ;  we  all  knelt 
together  in  the  carriage,  so  prayer  was  in- 
deed made  for  me.  The  next  few  hours  were 
very  busy  ones  ;  alone,  I  went  from  consul  to 
nuncio,  and  thence  to  the  prefect  of  police,  to 
have  my  passport  in  order,  and  then  to  the 
top  of  the  Champs  Elysees,  to  see  Mrs.  R.'s 
friend.  I  had  seen  her  before ;  she  was  very 
kind,  fed  me  well,  and  saw  me  off  at  night. 
From  8.30  till  near  4  next  afternoon  to  Mar- 
seilles. Thence  I  telegraphed  to  mother ;  and 
supposing  our  boat  Vv^ent  as  usual  to  Genoa 
and  Leghorn,  I  asked  for  an  answer.  Then  to 
an  hotel,  bathed,  and  had  a  solid  tea,  and  on 
board  the  steamer  at  9  o'clock.  Fancy,  first  a 
long  wait  at  the  bureau,  then  drive  in  an  om- 
nibus, then  a  little  boat,  and  ascent  to  the 
ship's  side,  all  by  the  light  of  a  little  lantern. 
I  was  the  only  lady,  and  met  with  no  French 


230  LONDON. 


politeness ;  my  only  companions  were  two 
soldiers,  and  a  very  common  English  groom. 
Fortunately  I  had  my  respirator,  and  all  my 
cloaks  on  ;  the  cold  was  bitter.  On  board,  my 
passport  and  ticket  were  well  examined,  I  was 
shown  by  the  captain  to  my  cabin,  and  he 
taught  the  new  stewardess  how  to  make  my 
bed,  etc.  The  storm  was  tremendous,  and  we 
could  not  leave  the  harbour  that  night,  nor 
till  10  next  day,  and  then  mid  waves  moun- 
tains high,  constantly  washing  over  the  decks  ; 
the  cabin  was  close,  so  I  had  had  coffee 
earty,  and  came  up  before  8.  I  had  a  shel- 
tered nook,  and  waterproof  on,  so  I  never  left 
the  deck  till  dark,  and  had  my  meals  brought 
to  me;  such  a  kind  captain,  and  'la  donna' 
was  treated  like  a  queen.  The  storm  raged 
so,  they  feared  they  should  have  to  shelter  for 
the  night,  but  God  heard  my  prayer,  and  we 
went  on.  Such  a  night;  often  I  was  nearly 
out  on  the  floor,  but  the  morning  calmed,  and 
the  greater  part  of  to-day  has  been  pleasant, 
except  two  hours  of  tremendous  rain  ;  such  cold, 
all  the  hills  white  with  hail.     Of  course  I  was 


LONDON.  231 


anxious  to  catch  the  last  train,  but  we  could 
not  land  till  the  passports  went  on  shore,  and 
permission  came,  and  then  off  in  a  little  boat, 
and  a  second  passport  examination  before  land- 
ing, and  then  custom-house,  and  so  the  last 
train,  at  2.30,  had  started  before  we  arrived.  I 
would  have  paid  any  sum  to  get  on,  but  be- 
tween what  I  heard  of  robbers  and  what  I 
saw  of  Italians,  I  felt  the  carriage  scheme 
must  be  given  up,  besides  I  did  not  feel  it 
right  to  arrive  at  one  in  the  morning,  and 
arouse  poor  mother,  or  maidenly  to  take  the 
groom  as  companion  and  protector,  so  it  seemed 
best  to  trust  to  God  bringing  me  in  His  own 
good  time,  as  I  hope  to  reach  Rome  about  ten 
to-morrow.  I  have  had  tea,  and  paid  my  bill, 
as  I  am  to  leave  the  hotel  at  5.30,  and  now 
am  not  really  so  very  weary,  nor  so  very  un- 
happy, I  have  looked  all  in  the  face  from  the 
first  moment,  so  I  trust  He  will  strengthen  me 
to  support  her  who  is  my  only  one  perhaps 
now.  It  is  best  not  to  think  of  the  past.  I 
will  only  say  of  the  journeys  past,  God  has 
very  specially  been  with  me,  and  I  have  been 


2^,2  LONDON. 


strong  through  all,  both  mind  and  body.  I 
never  felt  better,  but  for  a  little  time  this  last 
delay  was  a  bitter  drop  ;  perhaps  it  made  me 
feel  I  was  not  so  strong  to  meet  mamma  as 
I  hope  to  be  after  the  night's  rest,  as  I  have 
had  no  bed  for  four  nights  now. 

*'  Rome,  Tuesday.  —  You  will  hear  from 
mamma  how  I  arrived,  and  found  God  had 
indeed  been  better  to  me  than  my  fears.  The 
night  was  not  an  easy  one  ;  do  what  I  would, 
dreadful  visions  came,  and  then  half-hourly 
bells  at  the  gate-house  opposite  roused  me. 
At  half-past  five  such  a  walk  to  the  station, 
over  a  new  half-made  road,  almost  in  total 
darkness,  and  such  a  bitter  wind,  but  every 
thought  was  to  get  off;  it  seem.ed  so  long,  four 
hours  by  train  going  fifty  miles,  then  passport 
and  douanc  again ;  but  once  there,  I  almost 
wished  myself  miles  away,  and  felt  as  if  body 
and  mind  were  becoming  stone.  God  indeed 
has  crowned  me  wdth  tender  mercies  and  loving 
kindnesses.  May  I  never  forget  to  praise  Him. 
**  Your  ever  loving, 

**  Agnes  E.  Jones.** 


LONDON.  233 


"Hotel  d'Angleterre,  Rome,  Jan.  27,  1862. 

"  Dearest  Aunt, — I  think  I  have  never  writ- 
ten you  one  line  since  I  came  to  this  dismal, 
dreary  Rome.  You  cannot  conceive  a  more 
gloomy  place ;  the  narrow  dark  streets  where 
every  vehicle  threatens  your  life,  and  as  to  mud 
and  smells,  no  one  knows  what  they  are  who 
has  not  experienced  Rome.  I  never  go  out 
but  as  a  duty,  for  the  whole  is  so  depressing, 
and  it  is  indeed  so  utterly  the  '  city  given  to 
idolatry ;'  the  associations  of  its  past  are  for- 
gotten in  its  present,  and  except  to  the  Pincian 
Hill,  the  fashionable  promenade,  one  has  to  go 
far  through  streets  before  reaching  country  air. 
My  favourite  walk  is  to  the  Coliseum,  the 
only  thing  I  have  yet  seen  which  has  impressed 
me ;  arches  and  sculptures  and  pictures  one 
seems  to  know  from  copies  ;  not  that  I  have 
seen  much  of  these  yet.  To-day  I  went  to  the 
Vatican,  but  had  only  time  to  see  the  Sistine 
Chapel ;  it  would  take  months  to  study  the 
figures  in  the  frescoes,  the  anatomy  is  so  per- 
fect, but  different  Popes  have  got  artists  to 
clothe  Michael  Angelo's  naked  figures.     I  may 


234  LONDON. 


say  I  have  not  seen  St.  Peter's ;  I  was  only 
once  there  for  a  grand  festival,  and  saw  Pio 
Nono,  but  not  the  details  of  the  building.  I 
saw  some  paintings  at  the  Palazzo  Doria  and 
the  Catacombs  of  St.  Agnese,  and  here  my 
sight-seeing  ends,  but  I  am  not  yet  in  a  mood  to 
enjoy  sights,  though  both  patients  are  better  ;  it 
is  very  slow  work,  and  I  can't  leave  S.  long." 

On  Agnes's  arrival  in  Rome  she  found  that 
I  w^as  out  of  danger,  though  still  extremely 
weak,  but  a  cousin,  who  was  one  of  our  party, 
was  in  a  very  critical  state  with  the  same  kind 
of  fever.  Agnes  at  once  devoted  herself  to  her, 
and  her  kind  and  judicious  nursing  is  fondly 
remembered.  The  attendance  was  a  trying 
one,  involving  watchful  nights  and  anxious 
days ;  air  and  exercise  for  an  hour  or  two 
daily  was  essential,  and  Agnes  used  to  return 
from  her  little  expeditions  with  wonderful  his- 
tories of  the  places  she  had  visited,  always 
making  her  way  beyond  the  walls,  and  ex- 
ploring ruins  and  tombs  and  temples  with  a 
courage  and  perseverance  all  her  own.  Few 
ladies,    perhaps,  have  ever   so   thoroughly  ex- 


LONDON.  235 


amined  the  antiquities  of  that  wonderful  city ; 
the  pictures,  too,  she  delighted  in,  and  when  I 
was  strong  enough  to  visit  the  galleries,  she 
acted  as  cicerone,  and  saved  me  much  fatigue 
by  taking  me  at  once  to  those  paintings  that 
were  really  worth  seeing.  Finding  that  neither 
of  the  invalids  were  likely  to  regain  strength 
quickly,  Agnes  at  once  determined  to  remain 
with  us  during  our  stay  abroad,  and  wrote  to 
tell  Mrs.  Ranyard  that  she  must  give  up  all 
hope  of  resuming  her  London  work.  Truly  she 
ever  remembered  that  home  duties  came  first, 
and  only  when  the  necessity  for  her  presence 
was  removed  did  she  turn  again  to  more  ac- 
tive labours.  After  some  weeks  in  Naples,  and 
a  second  short  visit  to  Rome,  we  proceeded  to 
Florence,  where  Agnes  met  and  had  much 
pleasant  intercourse  with  Rosa  and  Francesco 
Madiai,  the  Kaiserswerth  deaconesses  then 
lately  established  in  the  town,  and  some  good 
English  Christians,  to  whom  she  had  introduc- 
tions. The  great  heat  of  an  Italian  Mslv,  how- 
ever, relaxed  her  strength,  which  had  seemed 
to  be  restored  by  the  rest  and  change,  and  soon 


236  LONDON. 


after  our  arrival  in  Florence,  she  proposed 
leaving  us  for  a  time,  to  visit  some  of  the 
deaconess  institutions  in  Switzerland,  promis- 
ing to  rejoin  us  in  Paris  early  in  July.  A 
friend,  who  was  on  her  way  to  Geneva,  sug- 
gested that  they  should  travel  together,  and 
they  started  about  May  15th  for  the  Italian 
lakes,  whence  they  were  to  cross  the  Simplon. 
This  friend  wrote  to  a  relative,  "  Agnes  was 
the  most  agreeable  and  the  most  useful  fellow- 
traveller  I  ever  met ;  she  knew  or  found  out 
all  that  was  necessary  for  travellers  to  know, 
and  while  others  were  discussing  she  had  all 
arranged." 

At  Villeneuve  they  parted,  and  Agnes's  first 
visit  was  to  St.  Loup,  a  deaconess  institution 
near  Lausanne,  of  which  she  had  heard  much 
when  at  Kaiserswerth  ;  the  account  of  her  stay 
there,  with  some  notices  of  Riehen,  Zurich,  and 
Mulhaus,  will  be  found  in  the  appendix.  Stras- 
burg  and  Mannedorf  she  also  visited,  and  at  the 
latter  spent  some  days  with  that  remarkable 
woman  Dorathea  Trudel,  of  whose  faith  and 
prayer  she  ever  spoke  with  the  deepest  admi- 
ration. 


LONDON.  237 


In  July,  Agnes  joined  us  in  Paris,  and  almost 
her  first  words  to  my  mother  were  a  request 
that  she  might  devote  herself  entirely  to 
nursing- work ;  all  that  she  had  witnessed  at 
these  institutions  having  more  deeply  im- 
pressed upon  her  the  conviction  she  had  long 
felt,  that  her  special  talent  was  for  labouring  in 
hospitals.  There  were  many  to  take  up  Bible 
work  and  other  branches  of  Christian  labour; 
few  who  had  physical  strength,  nerve,  and  in- 
clination to  devote  themselves  to  the  sick  in 
hospital  wards.  My  mother  could  no  longer 
resist  her  wish,  and  when  we  arrived  in  Lon- 
don, Agnes  entered  at  once  into  correspondence 
with  Miss  Nightingale  and  Mrs.  Wardroper, 
and  it  was  arranged  that  in  October  she  should 
enter  St.  Thomas's  Hospital  as  a  Nightingale 
probationer. 

Is  this  the  place  to  pause  a  few  moments 
and  vindicate  this  step  ?  Are  there  any  who 
have  read  so  far  in  the  story  of  a  life,  told  so 
imperfectly  and  reflecting  so  dimly  the  bright- 
ness and  beauty  of  the  original,  who  ask  if  she 
was  acting  wisely  and  rightly  in  this  ?     I  can 


238  LONDON. 


scarcely  think  it ;  to  me,  it  seems  as  if  God's 
guiding  hand  is  seen  so  plainly  in  every  step, 
that  to  have  remained  How  in  the  quiet  shelter 
of  her  home,  even  though  she  had  continued  to 
fulfil  there  all  her  duties  as  daughter  and  sister 
and  friend,  could  only  have  been  done  by  turn- 
ing aside  from  the  path  that  God  had  opened 
up  before  her.  It  was  no  enthusiastic  dreamer, 
no  young  untried  worker  who  enters  this  path ; 
each  step  before  had  been  leading  to  it ;  she 
had  gone  on  from  day  to  day  fulfilling  each 
present  duty,  leaving  the  future  to  God,  with 
dreams  and  aspirations  indeed,  after  greater 
devotedness  to  Him,  more  special  service  for 
Him,  but  content  to  trust  all  to  His  guiding 
and  to  wait  His  time.  As  long  as  parental 
consent  was  wanting,  she  would  not  even  un- 
duly press  for  it ;  she  realized,  as  few  realize, 
that  hearts  are  in  God's  hand,  and  that  He 
inclines  them  to  what  He  would  have  them  do. 
Many  said  then,  perhaps  some  may  say  now : 
but  why  so  much  training  ?  Surely,  after  those 
eight  months  at  Kaiserswerth,  she  must  have 
known  enough  of  nursing  to  take  at  once  the 


LONDON.  239 


superintendence  of  a  hospital  ?  I  will  answer 
in  the  words  of  one  who  is  the  highest  authority 
on  this  subject,  and  who,  in  her  most  touching 
and  affectionate  paper  on  my  dear  sister,  says,* 
"  Nursing  is  an  art ;  and  if  it  is  to  be  made  an 
art,  requires  as  exclusive  a  devotion,  as  hard  a 
preparation,  as  any  painter's  or  sculptor's  work; 
for  what  is  the  having  to  do  with  dead  canvas 
or  cold  marble,  compared  with  having  to  do 
with  the  living  body,  the  temple  of  God's  Spirit. 
It  is  one  of  the  fine  arts  :  I  had  almost  said  the 
finest  of  the  fine  arts.  .  .  .  There  is  no  such 
thing  as  amateur  art ;  there  is  no  such  thing  as 
amateur  nursing.  .  .  .  Three-fourths  of  the 
whole  mischief  in  women's  lives  arises  from 
their  excepting  themselves  from  the  rule  of 
training  considered  needful  for  man.^' 

And  this  was  Agnes's  own  firm  conviction  ; 
everything  she  attempted  to  do,  she  wished  to 
do  as  thoroughly  as  possible,  and  she  always 
said  she  would  never  profess  to  teach  any  one 
what  she  did  not  fully  understand  herself.    And 

*  'Una  and  the  Lion,'  by    Florence  Nightingale,  June,   1858; 
« Good  Words.' 


240  LONDON. 


she  came  to  her  work  with  all  the  freshness  and 
energy  of  youth,  fired  with  the  desire  to  devote 
herself  and  her  powers  to  His  service  Who  had 
so  loved  her.  It  was  not  that  she  had  tried 
earth's  pleasures  and  found  them  vanity  and 
vexation  of  spirit,  and  then  turned  disappointed 
and  embittered  to  something  that  would  fill  the 
void ;  no,  God  had  given  her  grace  to  choose 
Him  first,  and  from  early  childhood  to  look  to 
His  favour  as  her  life  and  peace. 

Blessed  are  they  whose  hearts  thus  yearn 
only  after  heavenly  love,  who  walk  through  life 
with  no  hard  crust  of  worldliness  excluding  the 
sweet  influences  of  God's  blessed  Spirit,  and 
who,  when  the  Master's  voice  calls  to  special 
devotedness,  are  ready  to  follow  where  He 
leads,  even  if  the  flesh  must  bleed  and  the 
spirit  faint. 


CHAPTER   V. 

HOSPITAL  TRAINING. 

••  All  her  eye  loved,  all  her  hand  pressed 
With  keen  affection's  glow, 
The  voice  of  home,  all  pleasures  best, 
All  dearest  thoughts  below. 

"  From  friend-lit  hearth,  from  social  board, 
All  duteously  she  rose ; 
For  faith  upon  the  Master's  word 
Can  find  a  sure  repose." 

^T^HE  following  paper  needs  no  explanatory 
-*"     preface : — 

"  Fahan,  Sunday  night,  September  ^oth,  1862. 

**  I  Cor.  vi.  19,  20.  All  good-byes  are  said ; 
to-morrow  I  leave  this  loved  home,  and  loved 
people.  '  Why  do  you  go  away  ?'  have  -many 
asked,  and  now  I  must  answer  that  why,  so 
that  when  I  look  back  on  this  decided  step,  I 
may  know  somewhat  of  the  position  in  which  I 
stood  when  it  was  taken.     How  shall  I  look 


242  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

back  years  hence,  if  spared  ?  Shall  it  be  with 
regret  or  pleasure  ?  I  will  not  look  forward 
save  with  the  earnest  look  at  Him  Whose  love, 
I  trust,  constraineth  me,  laying  at  His  feet  the 
secret  longing  of  my  heart,  that  in  the  great 
day  of  account  He  will  blot  out  all  my  short- 
comings, and  all  my  sins,  and  say  of  even 
poor  weak  me,  *  She  hath  done  what  she 
could.* 

*'  For  more  than  a  year  and  a  half  has  St. 
Thomas's  been  a  half-pleasant,  half-dreaded 
thought,  and  in  less  than  a  week  it  will  be  to 
me  a  reality.  What  influence  I  may  have  there 
for  good  or  evil, — what  trials  I  may  be  exposed 
to — all  these  have  been  already  too  much,  per- 
haps, weighed  and  counted  on.  God  knows 
what  may  be.  May  He  be  very  near,  and  may 
I  cling  more  to  Him  in  all.  Perhaps  it  is  well 
that  I  shall,  at  my  first  outset  in  hospital  work, 
bear  the  name  of  '  Nightingale  Probationer,'  for 
that  honoured  name  is  associated  with  my  first 
thought  of  hospital  life.  In  the  winter  of  '54, 
when  I  had  those  first  earnest  longings  for 
work,  and  had  for  months  so  little  to  satisfy 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  243 


them,  how  I  wished  I  were  competent  to  join 
the    Nightingale  band  when  they    started    for 
the  Crimea  !    I  listened  to  the  animadversions 
of    many,   but   I  almost    worshipped    her  who 
braved  all,  and  I  felt  she   must  succeed.      In 
spring,  1853,  we  had  been  abroad ;  the  visit  to 
Paris  deaconesses  had   left    '  Kaiserswerth '    a 
name  of  which  I  longed  to  know  more.      The 
day  spent  there  deepened  this  feeling,  and  the 
after  week    of  further   acquaintance,   with  the 
disappointment   that  I  was  not  allowed  to  re- 
main   there,    instead    of    seeing    Switzerland, 
made  longings  after  Kaiserswerth-training  still 
deeper.      For  years  I  thought   of  it,  but  first, 
mamma  could  not   be   left   alone,  then  J.  was 
my  special  charge,  and  in  no  way  could  it  be. 
I  was  very  happy  in  my  home  and  in  my  work, 
only  that  I  longed  for  greater  power  of  useful- 
ness, and  sometimes  thought  of  what  I  might 
be  able  to  effect  were  I  trained ;  I  wished  for 
nothing  more  than  a  more  earnest  loving  spirit 
in  my  work,  and  God's  blessing  on  it.      Then 
came  September,  i860,  when  mamma  proposed 
that   I   should  rest  my  voice,  and  have  entire 

R  2 


244  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

change,  by  a  visit  to  Kaiserswerth.  Oh,  the 
doubts  and  fears!  but  I  went,  trying  only  to 
think  of  all  I  might  learn,  and  what  greater 
usefulness  I  might  become  capable  of.  '  For  a 
month  only,'  as  I  said  to  Pastor  Fliedner,  pro- 
testing that  home  and  poor  could  not  be  longer 
left.  Home  news  seemed  to  say  that  sole 
charge  of  both  was  doing  J.  good,  and  day  after 
day  I  remained  at  Kaiserswerth.  In  my  second 
month  there,  I  had  much  watching  of  a  poor 
dying  man ;  sitting  alone  by  him  in  that  little 
room,  day  after  day,  it  went  to  my  heart  to 
hear  some  of  his  requests  refused,  and  to  see 
the  food  given  him,  so  unfitted  to  his  state. 
And  I  sat  there  and  thought,  '  If  these  be  the 
trials  of  the  sick  in  an  institution  conducted  on 
Christian  principles,  oh,  how  must  it  be  in 
those  institutions  in  our  own  land  where  no 
true  charity  is  in  the  hearts  of  most  of  the 
heads  or  hands  that  work  them !'  and  I  then 
and  there  dedicated  myself  to  do  what  I  could 
for  Ireland,  in  its  workhouses,  infirmaries,  and 
hospitals.  And  so  I  remained  at  Kaiserswerth, 
trying  almost  to  steel  myself  against  the  fearful 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  245 

accounts  of  sickness  and  death  in  Syria,  and 
the  appeals  for  helpers.  But  at  last  the 
thought  came, — for  awhile  you  may  be  of  use 
there,  and  yet  return  to  Ireland ;  and  I  wrote 
to  mother  for  leave  to  go  to  Beyrout.  I  took 
that  letter  to  the  pastor,  '  May  I  add,  you  will 
let  me  work  with  your  sisters  when  there  ?* 
He  answered,  *  If  you  wish  to  give  your  life  and 
every  energy  to  work  for  the  sick,  your  own 
country  calls  you ;  Miss  Nightingale  has  just 
written  to  ask  me  for  a  person  to  fill  a  position 
for  which  you  could  be  easily  fitted.'     Next  day 

came  Mr.   R.'s  letter,  saying  that  Uncle  

had  advised  him  to  ask  me  to  prepare  myself 
for  the  superintendence  of  Liverpool  Training 
School  for  nurses  for  the  poor,  and  would  I  go 
through  a  course  of  preparation  for  it?  I  found 
this  suggestion  and  the  pastor's  were  identical. 
Also  came  a  letter  from  Mrs.  Ranyard ;  since 
her  eldest  daughter's  death,  she  so  wanted  me 
to  come  and  be  a  friend  and  helper.  Mamma 
also  urged  this ;  she  would  rather  that  should 
be  my  work,  if  I  were  not  coming  home ;  and 
to  me,  Bible  work  seemed  the  highest.     Not  so 


246  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

to  Pastor  Fliedner,  'Any  one  with  an  earnest 
Christian  spirit  could  help  there ;  in  hospital- 
work  there  must  be  a  special  faculty.*  I  never 
forgot  those  words.  I  came  to  London,  saw 
Miss  Nightingale,  who  plainly  put  before  me 
t  the  difficulties  of  the  work,  the  trials  of  the 
training-time,  kindly,  lovingly,  and  so  sympa- 
thizingly,  and  yet  I  felt  I  could  meet  them. 
Then  came  the  interview  with  Mr.  R.,  and  the 
feeling  that  I  was  far  too  young  and  inex- 
perienced for  anything  of  the  kind.  A  year  at 
St.  Thomas's  m^ight  give  the  mechanical  skill 
in  nursing,  but  the  powers  requisite  for  or- 
ganizing, directing,  superintending,  whence 
were  they  to  come  ?  No,  at  the  head  I  could 
not  be,  especially  as  I  was  told,  my  religious 
feelings  and  views  must  be  kept  in  the  back- 
ground, till  I  was  considered  so  invaluable  an 
agent  that  such  things  should  be  tolerated,  as 
it  were  for  the  sake  of  other  things.  What !  was 
I  to  be  this  giant  champion  ?  I !  who  had  so  little 
to  commend  me.  It  seemed  mockery,  and  yet 
I  had  not  sought  the  position  or  the  work. 
Perhaps  in  some  other  sphere  there  would  be 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  247 

work  for  me.  Then  Mrs.  Ranyard's  invitation 
appeared  much  that  would  suit  to  prepare  me; 
with  her  I  could  learn  to  superintend,  learn 
what  faculties  I  had  in  that  way,  and  yet  not 
in  too  responsible  a  position,  so  as  to  do  harm 
by  failing.  It  was  not  without  regret  I  turned 
aside  from  'nursing;'  and  had  I  not  felt  partly 
pledged  to  Mrs.  Ranyard,  before  I  visited  St. 
Thomas's,  I  should  have  returned  to  my  origi- 
nal purpose  that  very  June,  1861.  And  yet  I 
do  not  regret  that  delay ;  looking  back,  I  feel  I 
have  been  prepared  by  that  work  to  meet  many 
trials  and  difficulties  which,  with  my  previously 
limited  experience  of  life,  I  could  not  have  ima- 
gined. And  that  isolation  which  so  tried  me 
then,  probably  I  shall  have  to  meet  again. 
There  is  no  second  home  in  the  world, — no  re- 
placing of  mother  and  sister.  But  I  never  for- 
got 'nursing,'  and  it  often  seemed  I  ought  to 
return  to  it.  When  I  was  called  to  Rome,  by 
S.'s  bed,  as  before  by  Aunt  L.'s,  I  felt  as  if  I 
had  somewhat  of  the  nursing-faculty,  but 
always  the  question  came,  '  Could  I  govern  and 
teach    others?'       I    went    to    St.    Loup,    and 


248  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

learned  lessons  there ;  lessons  from  imperfec- 
tions. Riehen  and  Zurich  taught  me  how  God 
can  make  feeble  women  strong  in  such  work,— 
can  teach  even  weak  ones,  who  seem  so  cling- 
ing as  to  need  support,  to  stand  and  give  guid- 
ance and  help  to  others.  At  Strasbiirg,  with 
Sister  Emilie  as  with  Sister  Trina,  I  discussed 
the  difficulties  of  a  superintendent,  and  many 
of  Sister  Sophie's  words  came  to  memory  from 
a  new  point  of  view,  and  so  less  tremblingly  I 
came  to  consider  the  question,  *  How  could  T 
help  ?'  and  I  determined  at  least  to  try,  to 
come  to  St.  Thomas's  Hospital,  and  to  see 
whether  in  so  great  a  work  as  that  of  train- 
ing true-hearted.  God-fearing  nurses  there 
were  not  some  niche  for  me.  If  every  one 
shrinks  back  because  incompetent,  who  will 
ever  do  anything?  ''Lord,  here  am  I,  send 
me." 

''And  as  to  this  dread  of  associates  let  me, 
more  and  more,  remember  Mr.  Rathbone's 
words  :  *  Are  you  more  above  those  with  whom 
you  will  have  to  mix  than  our  Saviour  was  in 
every   thought   and    in    sensitive  refinement  ?' 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  249 

What  am  I  to  meet  and  combat  evil  ?  I,  so 
weak,  so  needing  to  be  led  and  influenced 
aright  ?  If  I  am  in  the  way,  as  I  trust  I  am, 
in  which  God  would  have  me  be,  will  He  not 
care  for  that  ?  May  God  go  with  me  and  help 
me." 

While  the  question  was  still  pending  as  to 
whether  she  would  enter  on  a  course  of  training 
for  hospital  work,  or  take  up  the  Bible  work 
under  Mrs.  Ranyard,  in  1861,  she  had  written 
•to  the  aunt,  to  whom,  of  all  her  relatives,  she 
ever  opened  most  her  heart. 

*'  My  dearest  Aunt. — I  feel  as  if  I  could 
write  folios,  and  not  give  you  an  idea  of  my 
present  feelings  ;  and  yet  in  writing  I  can  do  so 
better  than  in  words,  for  though  I  never  write 
what  I  do  not  feel,  I  know  I  express  myself  so 
differently  when  I  speak,  that  I  often  fear  I 
must  seem  to  deceive.  I  might  write  much  of 
what  I  have  seen  and  heard  in  this  last  week, 
and  yet  the  outer  has  not  been  so  eventful  to 
me  as  the  inner  world.  Still,  so  different  am  I 
to  what  I  appear,  that  I  am  charged  with  in- 
difference  as  to   engaging  in  the  Bible  work, 


250  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

while  it  is  what  I  could  engage  in  gladly  this 
moment,  heart  and  soul ;  it  is  my  old  familiar 
work ;  it  is  what  I  have  longed  and  do  long  to 
be  wholly  engaged  in ;  it  is  a  work  I  always 
feel  God  must  bless,  because  it  is  His,  not  our 
word,  and  yet  I  dare  not  dwell  on  all  its  allure- 
ments. Look  at  it  in  externals :  in  lodgings, 
next  door  to  Mrs.  R.,  who  would  be  always 
ready  to  help  and  advise,  I  should  have  the 
superintendence  of  the  new  girls'  refuge  and  of 
its  excellent  matron,  the  training  of  some  Bible 
women,  and  the  conducting  of  a  women's  class, 
— a  Bible  work,  a  home,  and  my  spare  time  my 
own.  Could  anything  be  more  attractive  ?  per- 
haps, to  put  it  in  strong  relief,  no  contrast  that 
could  be  chosen  would  do  so  more  than  my 
other  opening  path.  God  guide  me,  for  it  is  a 
life  choice,  and  yet  I  do  feel  one  way  or  the 
other  must  be  closed.  I  must  not  enter  on  a 
path  half-hearted,  often  to  look  back  to  its 
starting-point  and  say :  Oh,  that  I  had  chosen 
the  other.  Well,  what  is  the  other  ?  If  it  be 
*  seeking  for  some  great  thing  to  do,'  it  is  by 
going  down,  indeed,  before  beginning  to  mount, 


HOSPITAL     TRAINING.  "^S^ 


and  I  do  feel,  if  my  mother  gives  me  leave  to 
enter  it,  it  is  because  God  will  have  it  so,  and  I 
will  allow  this  to  turn  the  scale.    I  have  looked 
it  in  the  face  and  there   is  no  middle  choice.' 
Kindly  and  plainly  did  Miss  Nightingale  put  it 
to  me,  '  Could  I  do  so  ?'     I  have  asked  it  my- 
self, and  I  say  'I  can  ;'  I  had  so  contemplated 
it  before  I  left  Kaiserswerth.     If  I  wish  to  be 
trained   for   practical  usefulness,  nothing  else 
will  do,  says  Miss  Nightingale,  than   a  year's 
training  in  a  London  hospital.     There  are  but 
two  open.    King's  College   and   St.   Thomas's. 
Well,  if  ever  I  contemplated  the  first,  which  I 
did  not  with  its  High  Church  head,  it  was  at  an 
end  when  I  found  I  must  become  a  sister  to  do 
so.     And  at  St.  Thomas's,  I  must  be  prepared 
to  enter  as  a  common  nurse  ;  my  companions 
there,  moral  and  respectable,  but  not,  as  a  body, 
Christian  women.     Miss  N.  dwelt  on  all  this, 
and  yet  I  do  not  feel  it  would  really  lower  me 
to   do    so.     My   motto  for  whatever  my  work 
or  sphere  may  be  is  Psalm  Ixxi.  i6.    And  might 
not  God  give  me  a  mission  to  St.  Thomas's 
nurses   and  patients?     And  then  the  training 


232  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

past,  all  this  sanitary  and  nursing  movement 
might  find  one  at  least  who  was  not  High 
Church,  a  trained  agent  to  train  others.  Then, 
were  I  a  skilful  mechanical  worker,  they  might 
let  me  be  more  of  a  spiritual  one.  Jesus  be- 
came a  servant,  and  why  may  not  I  be  a  ser- 
vant of  servants  ?  I  know  something  of  that ; 
though,  as  Miss  N.  said,  where  one  had  Chris- 
tian communion  it  was  easier.  I  did  the  most 
menial  work  at  Kaiserswerth.  You  know  I 
shall  not  stand  alone ;  the  Triune  God  will  be 
with  me." 

This  letter  proves,  if  proof  were  wanting, 
that  she  fully  realized  all  she  was  entering 
upon,  when  she  left  her  lovely  country  home 
and  immured  herself  for  twelve  months  in  a 
hospital  in  London.  For  the  history  of  the 
time  she  spent  there  we  have  no  journal,  and 
only  three  or  four  letters  to  refer  to.  The  first 
letter  describes  her  arrival : — 

"  We  reached  London  at  6.30,  and  I  was 
fortunate  about  my  luggage,  so  got  off  at  once. 
I  desired  the  cabman  to  drive  to  Surrey  Gar- 
dens, and  we  drove  on  long  through  well-known 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  253 

streets,  but  when  we  passed  the  obelisk  I  came 
to  new  ground.  However,  not  long  after,  we 
stopped,  and  I  saw  a  great  gateway,  over  which 
was  in  large  letters,  '  St.  Thomas's  Hospital,* 
so  a  bell  was  rung,  and  I  said  '  Nightingale 
nurse ;'  the  gate  opened  and  we  drove  on  a 
little  way  and  then  saw  a  long  half-covered 
way  leading  to  a  large  well-lighted  room.  Up 
to  this  I  walked  ;  saw  porter  No.  2,  and  was 
admitted  into  a  large  warm  hall,  well  panelled 
and  partitioned,  as  all  the  house  is,  with  well- 
planed  deal,  varnished  its  own  colour,  which 
looks  so  clean  and  light.  I  had  a  long  wait 
while  the  cabman  brought  in  the  luggage,  and 
then  was  conducted  past  the  doors  of  some 
wards,  in  which  I  saw  a  few  patients  in  bed 
and  two  nurses  seated  most  comfortably  at 
work  at  a  table  in  the  middle  of  the  room  ; 
then  we  crossed  a  large  space  with  trees,  giving, 
as  did  all  I  saw,  the  idea  and  feeling  of  being 
far  from  any  town  ;  and  though  I  have  not  yet 
been  out,  there  is  the  perfect  stillness  of  the 
country.  But  to  go  on  and  introduce  you  as  I 
was.     The  porter  led  me  into  a  kind  of  small 


254  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

hall,  and  instantly  two  nice-looking,  almost 
deaconess-looking,  nurses  came  forward  and 
received  me  most  kindly,  saying  Mrs.  W.  (the 
lady-superintendent)  had  been  in  several  times 
during  the  afternoon  and  evening,  and  had  just 
left,  having  given  me  up  for  that  day.  How- 
ever, nothing  could  exceed  the  kindness  of  these 
nurses;  their  dress  a  kind  of  grey  stuff,  very  neat, 
white  aprons  and  caps,  rather  too  round  and  co- 
quettish I  thought  for  sisters,  but  a  neat  pretty 
style  of  dress,  which  will,  I  am  sure,  be  most 
becoming  to  Nurse  Agnes.  They  brought  me 
into  a  large,  lofty,  comfortable  room,  with 
tables,  chairs,  flowers,  pictures,  books,  carpet, 
rug,  fire,  gas,  like  any  sitting-room  ;  off  this, 
surrounded  by  the  varnished  boards,  are  the 
little  bedroom  cells ;  their  wooden  walls  about 
ten  feet  high,  not  halfway  to  the  ceiling,  with  a 
bed,  small  chest  of  drawers,  wash-stand,  chair, 
and  towel-rail.  The  room  was  formerly  a 
refreshment  room,  and  is  a  very  handsome  and 
lofty  one,  lighted  from  the  roof,  and  now  sur- 
rounded by  the  nurses'  cells,  with  the  open 
space   in    the    middle   for    their    sitting-room, 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  255 

where  I  am  now  writing  at  one  of  the  numerous 
little  tables,  with  bright  flowers  and  numbers 
of  all  kinds  of  magazines  around  me.  Two 
things  cheered  me  much  to  see  :  first,  on  enter- 
ing the  sitting-room,  a  picture  of  Kaiserswerth; 
secondly,  in  the  bedroom,  a  large  Bible  on  the 
drawers  beside  the  looking-glass.  I  was  taken 
to  my  room,  provided  with  hot  water,  and  after 
a  little,  called  to  tea,  comfortably  prepared  in 
the  nice  light  eating-room,  quite  separate  from, 
but  near  our  sitting-room.  .  .  .  There  is  a  tem- 
porary church  fitted  up  in  the  house,  which  all 
attend,  but  every  second  Sunday  I  shall  have 
the  whole  afternoon  to  myself  to  go  where  I 
like.  There  are  fourteen  Nightingale  nurses, 
besides  sisters,  and  about  2S0  patients,  when 
the  house  is  full,  which  it  is  not  yet,  as  this  place 
was  only  opened  a  few  days  ago.  I  went  to 
bed  soon  after  tea,  and  was  up  for  breakfast 
this  morning  at  6.30.  Everything  is  so  quiet 
that  you  more  feel  than  know  that  others  are 
moving  around  you.  My  nurse  friend  sum- 
moned me  to  breakfast  where  I  had  tea  last 
night,  and  I  found  the  whole  party  assembled  ; 


256  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

a  nice  respectable-looking  set ;  all  amiable- 
looking,  some  pretty;  the  sister  sat  at  the  head 
of  the  table.  Bread-and-butter  and  toast  in 
plenty,  and  each  person  with  their  own  tea-pot 
and  sugar-bowl,  which  they  wash  and  keep  in 
their  own  room.  Each  cell  has  its  own  gas, 
and  there  is  some  general  light  which  seems  to 
burn  all  night,  for  I  never  woke  but  I  saw  it;  I 
could  read  a  large  print  Bible  in  bed  by  it.  It 
seems  to  me  as  if,  with  God's  blessing,  I  may 
have  great  means  of  usefulness  here,  both 
with  nurses  and  patients,  for  one  seems 
to  have  much  freedom.  God  grant  me  the 
best  influence,  but  He  must  keep  my  own 
soul  very  close  to  Himself.  And  now,  dar- 
lings, do  not  fret  yourselves  about  me,  there 
seems  to  be  every  provision  for  comfort, 
and  all  I  have  yet  seen  or  heard  has  given 
me  a  pleasant  impression,  and  I  feel  at  home 
already." 

A  month  later  she  writes  : — 

**  The  patients  often  call  for  me,  and  some- 
times it  is,  *  When  you  have  time,  will  you 
come  and  talk  a  little  ?"     I  find  I  have  little 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 


257 


time  for   any  but   the  one  subject,  or  asking 
particulars    about    their  illness,  which  we   are 
required  to  know.     Some  of  the  children  I  get 
to   learn   hymns  for  me   and  teach  those  who 
cannot  read,  but  I  have  not  time  every  day  for 
all.     Sometimes  I  have  an  hour  with  the  charge 
of  my  ward  on  me  alone,  when  sister  and  nurse 
are  at   dinner,  and  when  the   porters'  feet  are 
heard  bringing  in  some  fresh  case,  I  sometimes 
fear  lest  I  should  not  know  how  to  act ;  how- 
ever, no  very  bad  case  has  yet  so  come  in,  and 
I  have  always  the  sister  of  the  next  ward  at 
hand  to  call.  ...  I  have  put  up  one  of  the 
*  Silent  Comiorters,'  like  mother's,  and  think  of 
her  reading  the  same  every  morning.    I  fancy  I 
am  in  the  best  ward,  that  is,  the  one  easiest  to 
get  on  in  with  the  nurses,  etc.,  but  it  is  good 
discipline  to  have  to  meet  all  characters,  and 
one  has  always  power  of  appeal  to  Mrs.  W., 
whose   good   sense  and  justice  are  proverbial. 
She  is  a   woman  whom   one   must    respect.     I 
love  her  already,  and  one  hears  on  all  sides  of 
her  kindness." 


n 


258  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

**  Christmas,  1862. 

"  We  have  got  our  hospital  trousseau,  and  are 
so  busy  every  spare  moment,  I  must  finish 
my  bonnet  for  to-morrow,  and  my  jacket  for 
Christmas  Day,  so  shallhave  scarcely  a  moment. 
I  have  given  out  my  dresses  to  be  made,  so  am 
better  off  than  most.  We  are  obliged  to  go  to 
church  in  hospital  costume,  but  in  our  daily 
walks  may  dress  as  we  like.  ...  I  often  think 
how  you  would  laugh  if  you  could  take  a  peep 
at  me,  for  instance,  when  I  am  giving  medicine 
to  forty-two  men  ;  one  amuses  me — he  opens 
his  mouth  for  me  to  pop  in  a  pill,  and  stops  to 
thank  me  before  he  swallows  it." 

No  date,  su])posed  spring  1863. 

"  I  am  not  only  off  night  duty,  but  I  am  at 
Barnet.  Are  you  not  surprised  ?  A  bright 
thought  struck  me  on  Tuesday  night,  that,  as 
I  might  be  off  night  duty  any  day,  it  would  just 
be  the  time  for  Barnet  before  going  to  a  new 
ward,  so  I  wrote  to  ask  Mrs.  Pennefather  if  she 
could  have  me,  and  received  last  night  a  most 
kind  note,  asking  me  to  go  for  that  night,  if  I 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  259 

could ;  if  not,  as  early  as  I  liked  this  morning, 
and  stay  till  Monday,  so  I  came  by  the  eight 
o'clock  train  to  breakfast.  Mrs.  W.  was  so 
kind  about  it,  and  said  I  need  not  go  on  duty 
till  Tuesday  morning,  so  might  stay  here  late 
on  Monday;  after  that  I  go  to  the  male  medical 
ward.  It  was  quite  a  novelty  to  sleep  last 
night,  my  first  night  in  bed  for  six  weeks.  I 
thought  the  rest  and  change  would  do  me  good, 
and  also  that  it  would  be  better  than  breaking 
in  on  my  work  a  few  weeks  hence.  I  was  so 
tired  last  night,  having  been  more  than  twenty- 
four  hours  out  of  bed,  and  without  sleep,  my 
own  fault  as  you  will  hear.  On  Wednesday  I 
got  up  at'  4.30  P.M.  to  get  my  tea-dinner,  and 
go  to  Mr.  Long's  lecture,  and  then  returned  to 
night  duty  from  lo  p.m.  till  lo  A.M.,  as  usual ; 
took  a  long  walk  to  see  W.  before  she  went  to 
her  new  post,  and  returned  very  much  heated 
by  the  close  relaxing  day.  At  dinner  Sister  .... 
told  me  that  Mrs.  W.  had  left  a  message  ior 
me,  that  I  was  off  night  duty,  and  was  to  go  to 
the  male  medical  ward  next  morning.  Mrs. 
P.'s  answer  had  not  come,  so  I  could  not  ask 

s  2 


26o  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

leave  for  Barnet,  but  felt  sure  the  next  post 
v>ould  bring  it.  I  thought  it  so  lazy  to  go  to 
bed  then,  when  I  was  to  have  it  at  night,  so 
v/ent  off  and  paid  some  visits.  All  were  out  of 
town,  so  I  began  to  think  of  some  amusement ; 
went  to  the  Polytechnic,  and  saw  '  Cinderella ' 
in  dissolving  views ;  an  innocent  spree,  was  it 
not  ?  I  laughed  at  myself  afterwards  about  it  ; 
returned  so  tired,  found  I^Irs.  P.'s  note,  but  was 
too  weary  to  think  of  much  but  bed  that  night, 
and  came  here  this  morning,  receiving  such  a 
warm  welcome,  and  now  am  going  for  a  walk 
with  Mrs.  P.     Am  I  not  your  happy  Agnes  ?" 

A  da  later  she  writes  again  :  "  I  cannot  tell 
you  of  all  my  enjoyment,  sitting  in  this  elegant 
drawing-room,  now  in  among  the  plants  in  the 
window,  looking  out  at  the  grass  plats  and 
hyacinth-beds  ;  now  in  my  cosy  bedroom,  with 
the  opening  Banksia  buds  peeping  in,  and  the 
view  of  the  church  and  fields  beyond ;  now 
walking  over  the  fields  to  dive  into  Hadley 
Wood,  and  revel  among  its  beauties,  the  bud- 
ding shrubs  and  beds  of  violets,  sorrel  and 
primroses   beneath   them.     Now  the  vistas  of 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  261 

green  spots  and  cattle  feeding  ;  now  the  birds 
singing ;  now  the  woodman's  axe,  everything 
bringing  before  me  new  yet  familiar  associations, 
and  the  warm,  bright  sun,  so  like  summer  :  I 
feel  more  like  a  gay  glad  child  than  ever  in  my 
life  before.  I  am  so  amused  sometimes  at  some 
such  common  things  seeming  so  pleasant ;  last 
night  getting  into  bed  to  feel  soft  fine  sheets;  I 
never  thought  befjre  what  coarse  ones  I  have 
lately  been  sleeping  in.  But  I  cannot  tell  you 
the  delight  of  Mrs.  P.'s  morning  and  evening 
kiss,  it  makes  me  think  of  mother, — my  own 
darling  mother.  Oh  !  how  good  God  is,  crown- 
ing me  with  these  His  loving-kindnesses,  giving 
me  to  find  favour.  Morning  prayer,  and  a  daily 
prayer-meeting  are  such  privileges.  I  return 
by  this  evening's  train,  after  a  most  enjoyable 
visit.  I  have  had  a  great  deal  of  quiet  time  to 
myself,  but  less  talk  than  I  hoped  with  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  P.,  who  are  very  busy  ;  but  I  have  much 
enjoyed  the  atmosphere,  mental  and  spiritual, 
so  hope  to  return  benefited  in  mind  and  body, 
and  with  new  vigour,  energy,  and  devotion  to 
work.     Yesterday  I  was  at  Mrs.  P.'s  delightful 


262  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

Bible-class,  of  which  I  shall  send  you  notes.  I 
had  a  Sunday  school  class  in  the  morning,  and 
on  Saturday  one  at  the  Rescue  House,  and 
have  just  spent  nearly  two  hours  at  the  Mission 
Home,  being  questioned  about  details  of  dea- 
coness work  and  training,  for  the  benefit  of  its 
inmates,  and  in  their  presence.  I  have  been 
lazy  about  letter  writing  since  I  came  here, 
spending  nearly  all  my  time  out  of  doors.  I 
came  for  rest  and  air,  and  have  conscientiously 
taken  both,  and  so  enjoyed  myself,  but  am  glad 
to  return  to  my  happy  work." 

The  following  letter  seems  to  refer  to  a  later 
visit  to  Barnet,  in  July  : — 

**  I  have  arranged  to  go  to  Barnet  this  day 
week,  from  Monday  till  Monday,  so  I  shall  have 
a  rest  before  and  after  the  Conference.  It  is 
really  next  best  to  going  home ;  when  that 
comes  near,  I  think  I  shall  be  almost  crazy 
with  delight.  In  the  end,  I  beheve  the  holiday 
will  be  no  lost  time,  but  enable  me  to  return  to 
my  work  with  more  vigour.  My  work,  I  more 
and  more  feel  it,  for  the  worst  things  only  make 
me  realize  how  Christian  and  really  good  nurses 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  263 

are  needed ;  and  as  to  my  nerve,  I  never  knew 
I  had  so  much.  I  don't  say  that  I  don't  feel, 
but  I  go  from  the  wards  to  my  meals  or  bed, 
saying,  I  must  eat  or  sleep,  and  so  I  do  most 
obediently.  With  the  heat,  too,  I  often  feel 
God  thinks  of  me,  for  we  never  have  more  than 
two  or  three  days  and  nights  together  very 
oppressive." 

*' May  igth,  1863. — I  do  not  agree  with  you, 
that  I  should  be  more  tied  were  I  at  the  head 
of  an  institution  ;  I  could  then  have  you  and  J. 
to  stay  with  me,  as  well  as  be  able  to  pay  you 
short  visits ;  however  I  do  not  want  to  make 
any  plan  further  than  this ;  in  October  to  go 
home  for  two  or  three  months,  and  then  re- 
turn to  England  for  a  year  more  of  nursing, — 
my  last  Enghsh  sojourn  I  hope,  as  Ireland  is 
ever  my  bourn.  But  I  should  lose  much  did  I 
not  take  another  year  at  what  you  would  call  the 
drudgery  of  nursing,  not  superintending  others, 
but  myself  doing  it.  I  feel  now  as  if  I  were 
just  beginning  to  learn,  to  see  a  little  what  I 
ought  to  observe,  and  how  I  can  begin  to  un- 
derstand.    It  is  just  like  a  school-girl,  whose 


264  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

first  year  teaches  little  more  than  her  deficien- 
cies, the  second  is  one  of  progress.  Besides, 
I  do  not  say  immediately  after  my  second  year, 
but  I  am  sure  God  must  have  some  work  for 
me  in  which  to  use  what  I  am  now  learning ; 
I  am  so  grow^ingly  happy  in  it,  and  so  fond 
of  my  work.  W.  came  to  see  us  on  Sunday, 
and  was  in  great  delight  to  be  once  more  at 
the  Bible-class." 

This  Bible-class  Agnes  had  begun  soon  after 
her  arrival  at  the  hospital  for  the  other 
Nightingale  nurses,  with  Mrs.  Wardroper's 
permission ;  it  was  a  great  interest  to  her, 
and  she  had  reason  to  believe  it  was  blessed 
to  the  souls  of  several  of  its  members.  A 
day  or  two  after  leaving  the  hospital  she  thus 
alludes  to  it  in  a  letter: — 

*'  I  had  a  most  painful  and  yet  gratifying 
parting,  many  tears  on  all  sides,  and  even 
from  some  of  whom  I  did  not  expect  it.  I 
believe  all  were  sincerely  sorry,  but  best  of 
all  was  the  general  testimony  to  how  much 
they  should  miss  the  Bible-class  ;  it  was  such 
a  help,  how  could  they  do  without  it  ?      How 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  265 

good  God  has  been  to  me !  The  year  has 
flown,  and  has  been  such  a  happy  one." 

During  the  spring  she  wrote  to  a  young 
friend  in  Ireland,  to  whom  she  was  sincerely 
attached  : — 

"  My  dearest  C, — Tt  is  so  very  long  since 
I  have  heard  anything  of  you,  that  I  must 
write  to  let  you  know  you  are  not  forgotten. 
You  are  probably  ignorant  of  my  present  posi- 
tion, so  I  must  introduce  myself  as  Nightin- 
gale probationer  in  a  large  London  hospital, 
in  plainer  words,  learning  to  be  a  nurse ;  not 
yet  one,  but  '  serving  my  time.'  There  is  such 
a  field  of  usefulness  in  such  a  sphere.  I  only 
wonder  more  ladies  do  not  enter  upon  it ;  the 
difficulties  are  great,  strength  and  health  and 
active  habits  and  courage  are  indispensable, 
but  the  influence  for  good  one  may  have  is 
what  can  more  than  com.pensate  for  the  com- 
paratively small  trials.  I  never  was  happier, 
and  all  who  see  me  say,  '  Well,  you  have 
found  your  vocation.'  Even  Mrs.  R.,  who  was 
rather  inclined  to  be  jealous  of  my  leaving 
Bible   women  for  hospital  work,  admits    this, 


266  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

and  through  her  I  can  keep  up  my  interest 
in  my  former,  and  still  much-loved,  work.  I 
trust  and  believe  I  am  a  Bible  woman  as  well 
as  a  nurse,  and  I  can  sometimes  see  fruit 
which  shows  me  God  is  blessing  me  here. 
My  heart  is  ever  in  Ireland,  where  I  hope 
ultimately  to  work ;  but  I  think  thorough  train- 
ing for  a  special  sphere  of  work  more  than 
doubles  one's  future  power,  and  in  a  low  as 
well  as  a  high  position  one  meets  those  to 
whom  God  may  enable  one  to  be  useful.  He 
gives  work  when  He  gives  the  will  to  do  it. 
I  often  think  dear,  dear  C,  of  that  confirma- 
tion day,  when  we  knelt  together  to  dedicate 
ourselves  to  our  Saviour.  When  we  look  back 
all  those  years,  what  an  amount  of  neglected 
duties  and  lost  opportunities,  and  yet  what 
mercies  one  recalls ;  what  tokens  of  a  heavenly 
Father's  love  and  guiding  providence  !  I  some- 
times hear  indistinct  accounts  of  your  active 
useful  life,  but  should  like  to  know  more  of 
your  schools,  etc.  from  yourself.  ...  I  had 
nearly  three  months  at  Fahan  before  coming 
here,  but  as  all  my  old  love  of  it  remains,   a 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  267 

visit  is  almost  more  painful  than  total  absence. 
It  is  hard  to  say  how  far  it  can  ever  again  be 
home  to  me,  so  many  things  have  made  this 
work  so  plainly  my  work,  that  I  have  to  realize 
that  it  is  probably  to  be  my  lifework.  As  every 
past  step  has  been  made  plain,  I  can  trust  that 
the  future  will  be  so  also.  Home,  position, 
society,  and  the  refinements  of  life  are  plea- 
sures, but  where  one  has  work,  they  are  not 
necessaries.  Perhaps  later,  I  may  be  able  to 
combine  them  more  than  at  present.  Excuse 
such  a  hasty  note,  and  believe  me,  ever  your 
attached  friend,  A.  E.  Jones." 

"St.  Thomas's, ^yjn7  24th,  1863. 

"  My  dearest  Aunt, — Day  after  day  I  hope 
and  wish  to  answer  your  letter,  but  it  is  easy  to 
intend.  One  of  our  nurses  is  ill  and  I  have  a 
little  extra  duty,  which  I  am  glad  of,  as  it  is 
real  practice,  but  one  half-hour  less  time,  one 
runs  after  all  day  and  never  overtakes.  I 
come  up  to  read  prayers,  too,  now,  which  I  am 
glad  to  do,  as  I  can  make  more  hear  than  the 
other  nurse  can.     I  am  now  the  oldest  proba- 


268  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

tioner  here,  and  from  this,  and  also  having 
gradually  crept  on  to  it,  they  all  look  to  me 
for  little  helps — now  to  correct  spelling,  now  to 
show  them  how  to  keep  their  books,  and  other 
information,  and  sometimes  for  advice  and 
sympathy.  Then  my  Bible-class  needs  much 
careful  preparation,  so  that  all  my  time  down- 
stairs is  too  much  occupied  for  letters  ;  and 
in  the  wards,  as  sure  as  one  sits  down,  the  cry 
of  '  nurse  '  calls  you  from  your  book,  or  paper, 
or  thoughts.  I  have  had  two  pleasant  letters 
from  probationers  who  have  felt  grateful  for  my 
kindness,  and  all  who  have  attended  it  have 
so  thanked  me  for  the  Bible-class;  indeed,  it 
has  been  a  most  bright  spot  to  me,  and  such  an 
interest  during  the  week  preparing  for  it  and 
holding  it,  that  not  only  personally  has  it  been 
a  great  delight,  but  God  has  given  me  also  to 
know  that  it  has  been  more  or  less  useful  to 
four,  and  decidedly  blessed  to  one  .  .  .  When  I 
feel  how  far  short  I  am  of  what  I  ought  to 
be,  I  fear  to  mar  what  God  has  begun ;  I  do 
not  think  He  will  allow  real  harm  to  be  done, 
but    one    may    hinder,    raise    difficulties    and 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  269 

doubts  in  the  minds  of  those  beginning  the 
race,  when  they  see  persons  they  fancy  advanced 
in  the  Christian  course,  so  weak  and  incon- 
sistent as  I  am."  .  .  . 

As  the  year  at  St.  Thomas's  Hospital  drew 
to  a  close,  an  opening  for  further  work  pre- 
sented itself  to  her;  she  heard  of  ja.  Kaisers- 
werth  deaconess  being  at  the  deaconess  insti- 
tution in  Burton  Crescent,  and  went  to  call 
on  her,  thinking  it  might  be  one  she  had  known 
during  her  visit  to  Germany.  She  found  that 
she  had  come  over  to  assist  the  English  sisters 
in  adding  the  care  of  a  hospital  to  their  other 
occupations,  but  that  she  was  on  the  point  of 
returning  home,  and  the  heads  of  the  institu- 
tion in  Burton  Crescent  were  seeking  some  one 
to  replace  her.  A  few  days  later  the  chaplain 
called  at  St.  Thomas's  Hospital,  and  asked 
Agnes  if  she  would  come  and  help  them  ;  this, 
after  some  deliberation,  she  agreed  to  do.  Alter 
a  very  short  visit  at  home  during  the  month 
of  October,  she  returned  to  LonJon  and  com- 
menced her  duties  as  superintendent  of  the 
small  hospital  in  Bolsover  Street.     Later,  the 


270  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

Great  Northern  Hospital  was  substituted  for 
this  one.  During  her  stay  there  she  kept  no 
journal,  and  a  few  letters  are  the  only  record 
of  this  period. 

"  Novemler  ^th,  1863. 

**  Dearbst  Aunt, — I  had  a  comfortable  and 
unadventurous  journey,  with  pleasant  remem- 
brances of  the  kindness  of  friends.  I  only  dare 
look  forward,  recollecting  past  help  and  rely- 
ing on  '  Ebenezer.'  I  am  so  sorry  my  visit 
to  you  was  not  more  quiet,  yet  it  is  very 
pleasant  to  be  able  to  picture  your  work  and 
present  home.  I  have  reason  for  apologies 
innumerable.  To-day  I  took  up  my  Bible  to 
read  Hebrews  iii.,  and  found  words  which  came, 
indeed,  home  to  present  need,  and  which  will, 
I  trust,  be  my  motto  here  :  *  Consider  the 
Apostle  and  High  Priest  of  our  profession, 
even  Jesus,  Who  was  faithful  to  Him  that 
called  Him.'  Oh,  may  I  never  forget  God's 
message  to  me  to-day,  *  Consider  Jesus,'  and 
may  I,  like  Him,  forget  all  else  and  be  faithful 
to  my  God.      May  He  enable   me, — alone,   I 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  271 


cannot.  And  if  I  have  difficulties,  and  if  I  be 
lonely,  and  if  there  be  little  warmth  or  sym- 
pathy, Jesus  knows,  and  He  will  be  as  He 
has  been  ^  friendly.'  I  can  only  look  forward 
in  the  strength  of,  '  Hitherto  hath  the  Lord 
helped  me,'  and  '  The  Lord  will  provide,'  and 
may  I  never  forget  the  connection  between, 
'Casting  all  j^our  care  upon  Him,  for  He 
careth  for  you,'  with  ^And  the  peace  of  God 
shall  keep  ^^our  hearts,'  "    etc.     Private  paper 

of  same  date  :  "  Just  had  a  talk  with ;  I 

htl  the  stiffness  and  coldness,   the  rule   mea- 
sure of  everything,  the  warning  against  things 
which  I  should  never  be    led    to  do,  showing 
such  ignorance  of  my  motives  and   character 
that  the  words  seem  to   jar;    but  how  can  a 
stranger   know    me?      Lord,    Thou    knowest  ; 
keep  me,  too,  from  hard  thoughts  of  a  stranger. 
Lord,   be  Thou  near,  for  trouble  is  near,  lone- 
liness   is  near.      Of    course    it   will   be    better 
soon,  for   I    shall    be    at  home  with  my  work 
and  interests,  and  now  I  shall  get  again  into 
the  way  of  no  warm  loving  prayerful  kiss  from 
mother,  sister,  or   friend.      The    bitterness   is 


272  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

past,  but  the  impression  remains  of  that  home 
parting, — that  breaking  of  ties  which  seemed 
the  work  of  my  last  visit  to  Fahan.  As  I  re- 
arranged my  cabinet  of  collections,  as  I  walked 
on  the  roads,  or  visited  the  cottages,  a  voice 
seemed  to  say,  you  are  bidding  these  old  in- 
terests and  occupations  farewell  for  ever.  The 
voice  was  as  a  sword,  and  I  could  only  send 
up  a  cry  that  if  God  saw  fit  to  bid  me  re- 
nounce all,  He  would  be  to  me  my  all.  I 
dare  not  think  of  that  last  morning ;  must 
not  others  have  thought  me  cold  ?  Yet  I  felt 
it  was  almost  an  eternal  farewell  to  Fahan, 
a  final  and  deliberate  renouncing  of  home,  a 
going  forth,  indeed,  on  a  way  I  knew  not.  I 
dared  not  think  almost,  dared  not  cry,  and 
could  only  occupy  myself  with  the  present 
and  meet  the  future  with  '  Lord  help  me.'  J. 
says  I  brought  sunshine  home,  which  seemed 
to  vanish  when  I  left  it ;  yes,  I  was  happy, 
and  yet  there  were  times  of  agony.  Mother, 
sister,  home,  when  ever  so  dear  ?  I  never  felt 
what  a  life  home-life  was  before  ;  the  contrast 
with   the  other,   and  yet  that  other  was  very 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  273 


happy,  and  so  I  will  only  think  of  this  and 
thank  my  God,  Who  has  hitherto  helped,  and 
believe  He,  Who  changes  not,  will  surely  con- 
tinue to  do  so.  How  blessed  His  name  of  Un- 
changeable, amid  all  life's  changes  !  and  how 
especially  a  name  for  me  to  lean  on,  who  have 
so  many  varying  positions  and  circumstances ! 
Another  support  is,  the  assurance  of  so  many 
prayers  being  offered  up  for  me  to  Him  Who  is 
so  ready  to  help.  '  My  God  shall  supply  all 
your  need  according  to  His  riches  ;'  the  great- 
ness of  the  need  is  only  balanced  against  the 
riches  of  the  supplier ;  He  is  pledged  never  to 
leave  me,  and  so  I  can  tell  Satan  not  to  mar 
my  trust  in  His  loving  care.'' 

**  November  gth. 

"  My  dearest  Aunt,  —  You  will  almost 
wonder  I  have  not  written  sooner,  but  one  does 
not  think  much  beyond  the  present  on  first 
arriving  to  new  duties.  I  think  everything 
promises  wxll  except  that  I  shall  have  little 
to  do  at  first,  but,  perhaps,  it  will  be  easier  to 
do  that  little,  well ;    if   I  am    not  tempted  to 

T 


274  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

idle  over  it.  Everything  is  so  new  to  me  ;  the 
contrast  between  rich  and  poor  hospitals  is 
indescribable.  I  am  learning  my  own  defects 
but  hope  to  be  able  to  correct  these,  partly  by 
my  own  endeavours,  and  partly  by  circum- 
stances ;  however,  I  certainly  am  fortunate  in 
beginning  on  a  small  scale,  inefficient  as  I  am, 
and  I  feel  as  if  I  had  been  brought  here. 
I  was  at  church  yesterday  evening ;  T^Ir.  C. 
preached  a  good  but  rather  deep  sermon  on  that 
beautiful  text,  Phil.  iii.  21 ;  on  the  whole  I  was 
disappointed  ;  though  the  sermon  gave  some 
new  thoughts  on  the  resurrection  of  the  body, 
there  was  not  much  practical,  but  the  text  was 
a  sermon  in  itself,  and  the  'Who  is  able?* 
seemed  the  Sabbath  message  to  me." 

.  .  .  *'  I  seem  to  have  little  to  do  and  yet 
not  much  spare  time.  I  have  just  had  a  busy 
day  and  night  with  a  poor  little  burnt  child 
who  died.  Burns  are  such  an  anxious  charge  ; 
they  go  off  so  suddenly,  they  never  can  be  left. 
I  suppose  I  shall  not  have  my  regular  helpers 
until   we   move,  and    I  wish  the  time  would 


HOSPITAL    TRAININCx.  275 


come.  .  •  .  I  trub.  I  am  gaining  a  quiet  influ- 
ence with  my  patients ;  they  are  my  great 
pleasure.  I  have  more  tedious  than  very  se- 
vere cases  at  present,  but  any  moment  acci- 
dents may  come  in," 

*^  December f  1863. 

"  Dearest  Aunt, — Your  letter,  my  only  one 
on  Christmas  morning,  was  a  great  pleasure ; 
my  home  one  came  the  night  before.  ...  I 
am  not  very  busy  in  one  way,  but  having  the 
w^hole  responsibility,  and  being  the  only  nurse, 
am  kept  always  occupied  with  my  seven  pa- 
tients, though  we  have  no  very  serious  cases 
at  present.  ...  I  was  to  have  had  a  holiday, 
and  hoped  for  a  day  at  Barnet,  but  this  is  now 
out  of  the  question.  We  had  a  very  pretty 
little  Christmas-tree,  which  gave  great  plea- 
sure. I  am  able  to  go  to  Mr.  C.'s  every  Sun- 
day; I  like  his  preaching,  on  the  whole.  Last 
Sunday  he  preached,  as  a  motive  to  holiness, 
the  view  that  believers'  sins  would  be  remem- 
bered in  the  day  of  judgment,  as  well  as  those 
of  the  wicked,  not  to  condemn  but  to  humble 

T  2 


276  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

them.  I  had  just  been  taking  such  pleasure 
in  comparing  texts  in  connection  with  the 
scapegoat  on  which  I  had  given  a  Bible  lesson, 

*  As  far  as  the  east  is  from  the  west,  so  far 
hath  He  removed  our  transgressions  from  us.' 

*  The  sin  of  Judah  shall  be  sought  for  and  shall 
not  be  found.'  '  I  have  cast  all  thy  sins  behind 
my  back,  into  the  depths  of  the  sea.'  *  I  have 
blotted  out,'  etc.,  all  these  expressions  seem  to 
teach  the  contrary.  .  .  .  T  had  a  kind  note 
from  Barnet,  wanting  me  to  go  for  the  New 
Year  prayer-meetings,  but  I  cannot  be  spared 
from  my  post,  and  I  know  if  it  were  good  for 
me,  the  way  would  have  been  opened." 

''New  Year's  Day. — We  went  last  night  to 
Mr.  C.'s  service,  beginning  at  10.30  ending 
12.15  A.M.,  but  the  sermon  was  not  very  prac- 
tical, and  rather  distracting  than  keeping  one's 
mind  on  the  beautiful  subject,  '  Looking  for  the 
mercy  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ  for  eternal  life.' 
I  am  very  happy  among  my  patients,  and 
often  feel  God  has  sent  me  here ;  I  have  two 
revival  patients  ;  one  had  found  peace  before 
she  came,  the  other  is  seeking  it,  and  to  both  I 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  277 

can  talk.  Then  I  have  a  poor  woman  with 
cancer,  who  likes  me  to  speak  of  Jesus,  Whom 
I  believe  she  truly  loves  ;  so  you  see  I  am  not 
without  work.  Two  operation  cases  have  much 
occupied  me,  as  I  have  all  the  nursing  to  do  at 
present,  so  few  patients  making  it  unnecessary 
to  have  more  assistance  than  a  servant  can 
give.  We  are  soon,  however,  to  move  to  the 
larger  hospital.  I  should  often  like  to  study 
the  subjects  of  Mr.  C.'s  sermons,  but  I  have 
not  time  for  more  than  seeking  daily  food  for 
myself  and  my  patients  in  my  reading  mo- 
ments." 

The  next  letter  seems  to  have  been  written 
after  the  large  sphere  of  work  on  which  she 
next  entered  had  been  proposed  to  her  and  ac- 
cepted, and  this  letter  is  the  last  we  have  from 
London,  though  she  remained  there  for  some 
months  afterwards. 

**  Gkeat  Northern  Hospital,  March  12,  1864. 

*' Dearest  Aunt  E.,  —  You  will  think  it 
strange  I  have  not  written  sooner,  but  I  can 
scarcely  find  time  for  all  the  letters  which  must 


278  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

go  about  this  Liverpool  business,  of  which  I 
can  scarcely  think.  I  can  only  feel  about  it. 
I  could  not  refuse  ;  it  seemed  so  decided  for 
me,  all  doubt  removed,  so  that  my  only  real 
excuse  was,  my  utter  incapacity.  Now,  I  can 
"^only  think  of  the  whole  in  connection  with 
Jeremiah  i.,  and  feel  that  the  same  unchange- 
able God  and  ever  living  Jesus  must  speak  so 
to  me,  as  I  believe  I  only  seek  to  obey  His 
call.  From  no  one  point  can  I  see  any  fitness 
in  myself;  I  can  only  say  it  is  God's  work, 
and  He  must  do  it.  He  can  work  by  my  in- 
efficiency for  success  or  failure,  whichever  He 
intends  as  the  result.  My  patients  keep  me 
very  busy,  but  I  am  glad  of  the  work,  though 
I  should  be  glad  to  think  more.  However, 
the  thought  is  as  yet  so  overwhelming  I  can 
only  meet  it  in  the  one  way — the  w^ay  was  plain ; 
I  neither  sought  nor  could  I  refuse  the  call.  Mrs. 
Wardroper  paid  me  a  long  kind  visit  on  Thurs- 
day ;  it  is  so  pleasant,  she  is  going  to  give  me 
some  of  my  fellow-probationers  ;  and  does  it 
not  indeed  seem,  as  I  can  see  all  my  life  long, 
that  God  has  guided  every  step.  May  one  follow 


HOSPITAL     TRAINING.  279 

the  other  in  His  own  order,  on  which  looking 
back  I  can  see  the  plan  and  design.  The  very 
probationers  I  attached  to  myself,  and  whom  I 
believe  God  led  more  or  less  to  Himself  by  my 
Bible-class  at  St.  Thomas's  are  those  Mrs.  W. 
offers  me  .  .  .  Ought  I  not  to  trust  for  the  future 
when  the  present  is  so  lightened  by  the  kindness 
of  friends  ?  Will  you  tell  Miss  Mason  all  ?  My 
poor  little  boy  of  seven,  whose  leg  was  ampu- 
tated on  Wednesday,  requires  much  care,  day 
and  night,  though  he  is  doing  beautifully ;  an- 
other operation  case,  and  ten  more  orless  anxious 
medical  ones,  but  what  are  these  to  the  proposed 
six  hundred  or  a  thousand  patients  ?  Oh  !  I  trust 
my  friends  will  pray  much  for  me,  that  my  heart 
and  my  life  may  be  more  and  more  wholly 
His  who  has  now  called  me.  I  wish  you  would 
ask  dearest  Miss  M.,  Mr.  H.— M.,  and  A.  S.  to 
ask  God  to  prepare  my  heart  for  this  all-im- 
portant post  of  such  extended  influence  for  good 
or  evil,  and  that  He  will  make  me  more  realize 
that  He  is  my  Saviour  and  T  His  child,  for 
whom  He  has  promised  help  and  strength.  If 
my   own   heart   were  only   strong  in   Him,    f 


28o  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

should  not  fear ;  what  I  am  afraid  of,  is  the  be- 
ginning at  the  wrong  end  with, — '  Here  am  I, 
send  me,'  before  He  has  sent  live  coal  to  touch 
my  lips. 

*'  Your  own  loving  Agnes.'* 

The  last  few  months  at  the  Great  Northern 
Hospital  tried  her  much,  physically  and  men- 
tally; for  the  first  time  she  had  the  burden  of 
responsibility,  which,  to  her  sensitive  and  con- 
scientious spirit,  was  no  light  one ;  the  number 
of  patients  under  her  charge  was  small,  but  the 
assistants  she  had  were  without  experience  in 
sick  nursing,  and  on  her,  consequently,  de- 
volved much  of  the  care  and  attendance.  One 
peculiarly  critical  case  she  could  trust  no  one 
to  watch  but  herself,  and  for  six  weeks  was 
seldom  absent  from  the  patient,  night  or  day ; 
this,  with  the  heat  of  the  weather,  soon  told  on 
her  health ;  she  became  pale  and  thin,  and  a 
slight  deafness,  from  which  she  first  suffered 
while  at  Kaiserswerth,  increased  to  such  a  de- 
gree that  she  consulted  Miss  Nightingale  as  to 
whether  it  should  not  be  a  sufficient  reason  for 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  2S1 

her  at  once  declining  the  great  work  in  Liver- 
pool, which  was  at  this  time  offered  to  her. 
Miss  N.  advised  her  to  have  an  aurist's  opinion 
as  to  the  cause  of  the  deafness,  and  Mr.  Tony- 
bee  declared  it  to  arise  entirely  from  nervous 
debility,  caused  by  over-work.  He  prescribed 
immediate  and  perfect  rest ;  but  it  was  not 
possible  for  her  to  give  up  the  hospital,  of 
which  she  had  undertaken  the  charge,  until  a 
successor  had  been  found,  and  the  long  delay 
in  finding  a  suitable  person,  kept  her  in  London 
until  the  middle  of  August.  When  she  arrived 
at  Fahan,  we  were  frightened  at  her  state  of 
prostration,  physical  and  mental.  Instead  of 
hastening,  the  morning  after  her  arrival,  to 
visit  her  favourite  spots,  to  gather  flowers  in 
the  garden,  and  luxuriate  in  the  lovely  scenes 
around,  she  seemed  only  able  to  lie  on  the 
sofa,  and  listen  to  our  conversation,  though 
even  this  her  deafness  prevented  her  fully  en- 
joying. A  week  passed,  and  as  rest  and  jun- 
try  air  seemed  insufficient  to  restore  her,  my 
mother  proposed  taking  her  to  Port  Ballintray, 
a  quiet   little  village  near  the  Giant's  Cause- 


282  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

way,  where  the  Atlantic  breezes  might  brace 
her  nerves,  and  sea-bathing  restore  her  wonted 
energy.  This  plan  proved  successful,  and  in  a 
few  weeks  we  returned  home,  feeling  that  she 
was  her  old  self  again,  though  the  deafness 
continued  most  trying  to  her.  She  remained 
with  us  all  winter,  and  early  in  spring  left  for 
Liverpool,  where  a  sphere  of  labour  had  been 
opened  to  her,  which  must  be  described  in  the 
next  chapter. 

During  the  winter  she  wrote  to  my  aunt : — 
*'  I  do  not  like  this  irregular  do-less  life,  but 
I  don't  mend  matters  by  doing  the  little  I  have 
to  do,  and  then  there  is  a  kind  of  dread  of  get- 
ting much  into  home-work  or  interests.  Every- 
thing is  so  strangely  familiar,  I  can  often 
scarcely  believe  my  long  absence.  And  yet 
there  are  many  changes,  in  some  ways  I  am 
changed  myself;  I  could  be  very  happy  here 
again.  I  believe  I  was  really  useful  here  ;  when 
I  look  back,  I  know  that  several,  now  in  heaven, 
God  used  me  to  lead  there ;  yet  no  one  year 
here  had  as  marked  results  as  last  year  had. 
I  do   not,  however,  think  it  would  be   always 


HOSPITAL    TRAINING.  283 

good  for  me  to  know  how  much  I  have  done ; 
I  always  feel  that  behind  the  good  there  has 
been  a  contrary  influence.  At  the  same  time, 
I  think  people  overrate  the  self-denial  I  have 
to  practise.  Routine  has  great  charms  for  me, 
and  I  can  always  be  happy  when  busy ;  and, 
oh,  if  I  could  ever  tell  how  my  Heavenly 
Father  daily,  hourly,  remembers  His  child  !  It 
is  so  wonderful  and  marvellous.  One  of  the 
sisters,  who  used  to  like  me  to  talk  to  her, 
said  when  I  was  leaving,  *  You  will  be  happy 
wherever  you  go ;  I  never  knew  before  I  knew 
you  how  God's  peace  keeps  those  who  trust  in 
Him.'  Many  said  to  me,  *  You  are  always 
happy.*  But  no  words  can  tell  how  God  helped 
me.  I  never  was  troubled,  but  He  sent  some- 
thing to  cheer  me.  He  hath  been  mindful  of 
us  ;  He  will  bless  us.  As  in  the  past,  so  daily 
will  He  teach  us  more.  I  am  sure  eternity 
will  be  too  short  for  all  the  praise  we  owe ;  and 
the  more  we  need,  the  more  He  takes  care  to 
give.  His  measure  is  our  need.  As  thy  day 
shall  thy  strength  be." 

Well  vvas  it  for  the  loving  heart  that  such 


284  HOSPITAL    TRAINING. 

sure  confidence  was  hers ;  that  she  could  feel 
certain  every  step  was  wisely  and  lovingly  or- 
dered ;  even  now  her  feet  were  entering  on  a 
path  in  which  every  fibre  of  her  sensitive  spirit 
was  to  vibrate  with  pain — a  path  of  trial  so 
subtle  that  its  histor}^  is  fully  known  only  to 
Him  who  sees  the  tears  of  His  children,  and 
marks  their  every  sigh.  Never  again  were  the 
old  familiar  hills  to  be  trodden  by  her — the 
cottage  homes  to  be  visited — the  ferns  and 
flowers  to  be  sought  in  the  wooded  glen  ;  she 
was  bidding  all  a  last  farewell  now,  and  her 
return  would  be,  three  short  years  hence,  when 
loving  hands  would  bear  her  coffin  through  the 
churchyard-gates,  and  lay  her  down  to  rest  in 
her  father's  grave. 


CHAPTER  FT. 

LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE. 

**  With  light  in  her  looks,  she  entered  the  chambers  of  sickness  ,  •  • 
,  .  .  Many  a  languid  head,  upraised  as  she  entered, 

Turned  on  its  pillow  of  pain  to  gaze  while  she  passed,  for  her 
presence 
Fell  on  their  hearts  like  a  ray  of  the  sun  on  the  walls  of  a  prison. 
And  as  she  looked  around,  she  saw  how  death,  the  consoler, 

Laying  his  hand  upon  many  a  heart,  had  healed  it  for  ever." 

IN  the  present  day  of  active  benevolence  and 
prompt  investigation  of  wrong,  all  classes 
of  the  poor,  oppressed,  and  sinful,  seem  to  be 
brought  under  the  eye  of  the  public,  and  as- 
sistance, solace,  and  (as  far  as  may  be)  remedy, 
are  provided ;  not,  indeed,  in  any  degree  equal 
to  the  demand,  for  as  riches  increase  and  luxu- 
ries become  more  and  more  necessaries  of  life, 
so  in  proportion  does  poverty  increase  and 
wretchedness  and  woe  superabound.  Of  all 
misery  in  the  mass,  however,  no  department 
was  so  long  overlooked  as  the  misery  of  work- 


286  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

house  paupers.  Jails  have  long  been  visited 
and  reformed,  so  that  the  cry  is  rather  of  the 
over-pampering  than  of  the  neglect  of  the  cri- 
minal that  has  been  overtaken  by  justice  ;  lu- 
natic asylums  have  opened  their  long-closed 
doors  to  official  inspectors,  and  the  deeds  of 
oppression  and  cruelty  they  once  witnessed  are 
now  tales  of  the  past ;  factory  children  have 
found  their  pleader,  and  the  long  hours  of  toil 
have  been  shortened;  but  who  could  say  a 
word  for  the  poor  in  workhouses  ?  It  needed 
the  revelations  of  the  Strand  union,  and  of  the 
casual  ward  in  Lambeth  workhouse,  and  other 
strange  stories  heard  now  and  then,  but  too  soon 
forgotten,  to  arouse  the  general  public  to  in- 
vestigate the  wrong  that  might  possibly  be 
found  even  in  an  institution,  with  paid  offi- 
cials, watched  over  by  a  comm.ittee.  But  be- 
fore the  widespread  interest  had  been  awakened 
in  the  public  mind,  one  actively  benevolent  in- 
dividual, whose  large  heart  seems  to  take  in 
every  need,  and  at  once  to  suggest  and  work 
out  a  remedy,  took  thought  of  the  sick  poor 
in  workhouse  hospitals  and  inquired  into  their 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  2S7 

condition.  I  believe  that  in  the  Liverpool  work- 
house hospital,  things  were  better  managed 
than  in  many  similar  institutions ;  an  active 
governor  and  efficient  committee  prevented  any 
wholesale  starvation  or  cruelty,  but  no  general 
inspection  can  secure  against  individual  oppres- 
sion where  the  eld  system  of  pauper  nursing 
prevails.  Mr.  \V.  Rathbone  proposed  at  once 
to  substitute  for  these  ignorant  and  worse  than 
useless  women,  trained  paid  nurses,  and  nobly 
undertook  to  bear  all  the  expense  connected 
with  the  experim.ent  for  three  years,  by  which 
time  he  believed  the  success  of  the  scheme 
would  have  recommended  it  to  the  Board  of 
Guardians,  and  it  would  be  adopted  as  the 
permanent  system.  As  soon  as  he  obtained 
the  consent  of  the  committee,  he  wrote  to  my 
sister,  who  was  then,  in  the  spring  of  1864,  at 
the  Great  Northern  Hospital,  asking  her  to 
undertake  the  post  of  lady  superintendent  of 
the  proposed  trained  nurses.  After  much  cor- 
respondence with  Miss  Nightingale  and  Mrs. 
"Wardroper  on  the  subject,  she  agreed  to  this 
proposal.     The   plan   could   not,    however,  be 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 


commenced  for  several  months  ;  many  altera- 
tions were  necessary  to  secure  proper  accom- 
modation for  the  staff,  and  the  nurses  them- 
selves had  to  be  found.  Miss  Nightingale,  who 
entered  most  warmly  into  the  project,  arranged 
that  twelve  of  the  Nightingale  nurses  trained 
at  St.  Thomas's  Hospital  should  be  sent  to 
Livei*pool,  but  the  education  of  some  was  not 
complete,  and  others  were  in  various  positions 
from  which  they  could  not  be  recalled  without 
some  months'  notice.  Besides,  Agnes  was  quite 
unable  to  enter  on  any  work  without  a  long 
rest,  and  Mr.  Toynbee  had  given  it  as  his  opi- 
nion, that  unless  she  had  immediate  and  entire 
rest  for  some  months,  her  deafness  would  be- 
come incurable.  The  experiment  was,  there- 
fore, to  be  postponed  until  the  spring  of  1865, 
but  in  the  preceding  August,  Agnes  was  re- 
quested to  go  to  Liverpool  to  meet  the  com- 
mittee, and  give  her  opinion  on  various  debated 
points  relative  to  the  arrangements  to  be  made 
for  her  staff.  She  wrote  to  my  aunt,  ''As  to 
home,  it  seems  as  if  I  had  so  much  to  do  first, 
I  cannot  realize  it  as  near;  and  if  the  questions 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  2S9 

brought  up  for  consideration  in  Liverpool  are 
very  important,  I  must  return  at  once  to 
London  to  see  Miss  Nightingale  and  Mrs. 
Wardroper.  It  is  very  formidable  this  going 
alone,  but  I  cannot  try  to  meet  any  part  of  the 
work  in  my  own  strength.  The  more  I  think 
and  know  of  it,  the  more  I  feel  my  own  inca- 
pacity. And  now  all  who  love  me  must  pray 
that  I  may  have  wisdom  given  me  for  it.** 

It  had  been  first  arranged  that  during  her 
visit  to  Liverpool,  Agnes  should  be  the  guest  of 
Mr.  J.  W.  Cropper,  at  Dingle  Bank,  but  just 
before  she  left  London,  she  received  a  letter  in- 
timating that  apartments  in  the  workhouse 
would  be  placed  at  her  disposal.  At  first  this 
change  of  arrangements  tried  her  much,  and  a 
letter  written  under  its  influence  indicates  great 
depression  at  the  idea  of  finding  her  wa}^, 
** friendless  and  alone  in  the  strange  place." 
Before  long,  however,  she  saw  many  advan- 
tages in  the  plan,  which  had,  indeed,  been 
prompted  by  the  kindest  feeling;  it  had  been 
suggested  that  she  would  appear  before  the 
committee  with  a  more  free  and  unbiassed  opi- 

u 


290  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

nion  if  she  was  independent  of  any  one  member 
of  the  board,  and  the  wisdom  of  this  decision 
was  recognized  by  her  at  once.  The  kindness 
and  support  she  received  from  Mr.  Cropper  and 
all  his  family,  she  used  to  speak  of  with  the 
warmest  gratitude ;  almost  her  only  hours  of 
recreation  were  those  she  spent  in  company 
with  her  devoted  friend  Miss  Gilpin,  in  their 
country  home  and  its  lovely  pleasure-grounds, 
w^here  she  often  found  relaxation  and  cheer 
when  heavy  cares  and  arduous  labours  had  de- 
pressed and  saddened  her. 

After  the  lonely  journey  from  London,  Liver- 
pool is  reached  at  last,  and  she  drives  from  the 
station  to  the  workhouse ;  the  large  black  gates 
are  opened,  but  the  porters  hesitate  to  admit 
her ;  the  name  and  business  must  be  reported 
at  the  gate,  and  then  a  man  is  sent  to  con- 
duct her  to  the  governor's  house  ;  after  a  long 
business-interview  he  takes  her  to  her  rooms, 
the  same  she  is  eventually  to  occupy — ground- 
floor  rooms,  looking  out  on  a  small  court  and 
low  wall ;  beyond  this  the  fever  hospital.  With- 
in, all  is   dingy  enough :  horsehair  sofa  and 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  291 

chairs,  tables  and  stool,  no  ornament  of  any- 
kind,  while  the  dark  colour  of  walls  and  wain- 
scoting gives  a  look  of  gloom  to  the  whole ;  yet 
Agnes's  heart  is  undaunted,  and  she  goes  with 
the  governor  to  visit  the  proposed  nurses'  rooms 
and  some  of  the  wards.  Of  these  latter  she  says, 
*'  The  beds  are  rather  close  together  and  the 
wards  low,  but  all  appeared  fairly  ventilated. 
There  seemed  care  for  the  patients,  too ;  a  few 
plants  and  flowers,  '  Illustrated  News '  pictures 
on  the  walls,  and  a  '  silent  comforter '  in  each 
ward,  not  the  utterly  desolate  look  one  often 
meets  in  such  places." 

That  night,  as  she  sat  alone  in  those  dreary- 
rooms,  she  could  write,  "  I  feel  at  this  moment 
completely  at  home  here,  and  the  nervous  fear 
I  had  in  looking  forward  to  all,  seems  to  have 
left  me.  *  Sufficient  unto  the  day  is  the  evil 
thereof.'  "  Next  day  she  writes,  "  I  went  to 
bed  very  happy,  and  with  a  kind  of  feeling  that 
I  had  indeed  adopted  the  work ;  whatever 
doubts  I  might  have  had  before,  seeing  the 
place  has  made  me  feel  I  shall  love  it  and  b& 
of  use,  I  trust,  if  God  blesses  and  helps  me,  to 

U  2i 


292  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

some  of  those  poor  lonely  ones.  I  have  to 
thank  God  for  present  help,  and  so  little  nervous- 
ness or  timidity ;  I  must  ask  Him  to  be  with 
me  hourly,  enabling  me  to  undertake  all  and  to 
meet  all,  as  for  Him  and  in  His  sight." 

A  sleepless  night  and  severe  headache  left 
her  somewhat  less  brave  in  the  morning,  and 
a  long  delay  in  the  arrival  of  the  committee 
did  not  tend  to  brace  her  nerves.  "  I  was 
awaiting  them  when  Mrs.  Cropper,  sen.,  and 
Mrs.  J.  Brougham  came  in,  bringing  a  basket 
of  lovely  flowers  all  arranged  in  a  glass,  and 
only  needing  water ;  it  gave  such  a  homelike 
look  to  my  room,  and  the  kind  thoughtfulness 
of  the  gift  made  me  feel  again  the  good  hand 
of  my  God  upon  me.  They  soon  left,  and  I 
had  a  long  time  to  wait,  so  I  sat  down  to 
read;  the  Bible  alone  could  have  engrossed  my 
mind,  so  ready  to  dwell  on  the  nervous  dread 
of  the  next  hour." 

The  ordeal  was  passed,  and  no  small  weight 
removed  from  her  mind  by  getting  the  first  in- 
terview over;  two  days  longer  she  remained, 
so  as  to  become  periectly  acquainted  with  the 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.         293 

proposed  arrangements  and  suggest  a  few  alte- 
rations. One  passage  more  in  the  very  detailed 
entry  in  her  journal  kept  during  this  week,  I 
must  give,  lest  any  should  imagine  that  she 
was  fascinated  by  the  greatness  of  the  under- 
taking and  overlooked  its  trials  : — 

"  Mr.  C.  hoped  to-day  that  all  did  not  seem 
too  coiilejir  de  rose.  Does  it  ?  Have  I  not  again 
and  again  asked  myself,  Shall  I  ever  be  able  to 
meet  the  dreariness,  the  loneliness,  the  difficul- 
ties, jealousies,  restraint,  disappointments,  iso- 
lation? In  my  own  strength,  no,  never.  And  yet, 
when  I  look  back,  I  see  how  God  has  helped 
me,  how  in  the  darkest  moment  a  something  has 
come,  sent  by  that  loving  Father — a  little  word, 
a  letter,  flowers,  a  something  which  has  cheered 
me  and  told  not  only  of  the  human  love,  but  of 
that  watchful  heavenly  Friend  Who  knew  His 
weak  child's  need,  and  answered  her  repining  or 
fearing  thought  by  a  message  of  mercy  which 
bade  her  trust  and  not  be  afraid.  He  cart  and 
He  will,  I  do  not  say,  give  success,  that  may 
not  be  His  way,  but  if  all  fail  to  human  eyes, 
if  I  do  nothing,  He  will  look  with  pity  on  His 


294  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

child,  and  say,  '  She  has  done  what  she  could.' 
May  no  fear  of  man  hinder  me  in  His  work, 
but  may  He  so  give  wisdom  and  prudence  as 
to  keep  me  in  the  middle  path  in  '  His  cause- 
way,' with  a  single  eye  to  His  glory,  and  then 
I  shall  not  turn  aside  to  the  right  or  to  the 
left.  ...  I  have  many  things  to  think  of  and 
plan.  I  fear  the  nurses  having  too  much  lei- 
sure ;  I  know  they  cannot  rightly  employ  it  as 
a  rule.  Perhaps,  with  uneducated  minds,  too 
little  is  worse  than  too  much  work  :  responsi- 
bility, too,  weighs  less  on  them.  I  am  so  glad 
I  have  been  in  the  house ;  in  everything  I  can 
now  more  realize  my  future  position  and  its 
difficulties.  But  I  have,  as  never  before,  a 
consciousness  of  power  to  bring  sunshine  to 
those  poor  creatures,  as  if  I  could,  with  God's 
blessing,  make  a  little  ray  of  hope  and  com- 
fort sometimes  enter  their  sad  hearts." 

Eight  months  later  she  returned  to  Liver- 
pool, to  enter  on  her  new  sphere  of  labour. 
The  trial  of  this  last  separation  from  us  all  was 
much  increased  by  our  mother's  health  being 
less  strong  than  formerly,  and  from  her  journals 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  295 

we  can  see  that  Agnes  had  much  debating  with 
herself  as  to  the  duty  of  remaining  at  home, 
and  renouncing  hospital  work.  After  much 
prayer  for  guidance,  and  calm  weighing  of  the 
subject,  she  decided  on  pursuing  the  course 
she  had  entered  upon,  and  in  which  already 
she  had  been  made  the  instrument  of  so  much 
blessing.  An  allusion  to  this  struggle  in  her 
own  mind  is  found  in  a  later  paper : — 

"  Often  these  doubts  and  questionings  arise 
as  to  whether  this  apparent  cill  to  hospital 
work  be  not  a  delusion,  yet  there  seems  a  word 
even  for  that,  now  that  I  have  entered  on  it. 
Jeremiah  xxiii.  21,  *  I  have  not  sent  these  pro- 
phets, yet  they  ran  '  .  .  .  verse  22,  *  But  if  they 
had  stood  in  my  counsel,  and  had  caused  my 
people  to  hear  my  words,  then  they  should  have 
turned  them  from  their  evil  way,  and  from  the 
evil  of  their  doings.'  Oh,  what  a  hope  !  even  if 
that  first  step  were  wrong,  there  is  hope  of  for- 
giveness and  promised  blessing,  if  I  be  faithful. 
Thou,  Lord,  alone  canst  make  and  help  me." 

Below  this  is  a  note,  added  a  year  later. 
May,  1866 :— 


296  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

*'  Hitherto  hath  the  Lord  helped  me  :  He 
hath  led  me  by  a  wonderful  way,  and  given 
such  power  to  work,  that  I  cannot  say  I  did 
wrong  to  come." 

To  my  aunt  she  writes  soon  after  her  arrival 
in  Liverpool  : — 

**  Your  letter  this  morning  was  a  great  com- 
fort and  stirrer  up.  Oh,  how  I  have  asked  not 
to  be  allowed  to  forget  God  in  this  work  !  I 
cannot  write  all  my  doubts  and  fears  and  diffi- 
culties. I  can  only  look  at  Moses  and  Joshua, 
and  how  they  were  helped  when  sent  to  so 
great  a  work,  and  say  to  myself,  over  and  over 
again,  *  Only  be  thou  strong,  and  very  coura- 
geous, for  the  Lord  thy  God  is  with  thee,'  and 
I  try  not  to  fear,  but  to  meet  everything  as  it 
comes.  No  one  can  conceive  how  cut  off  I 
shall  be  from  any  human  help  in  many  w^ays ; 
so  many  important  steps  must  be  taken  alone 
with  God,  if  He  gives  wisdom." 

In  order  to  brighten  up  her  rooms,  and  give 
a  homelike  comfort  and  elegance  to  them,  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Rathbone,  sen.,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  W. 
Rathbone,  and  some  members  of  Mr.  Cropper's 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  297 

family  filled  them  with  various  articles  of  furni- 
ture, w^hich  acquired  more  and  more  value  in 
her  eyes  as  her  personal  feeling  of  regard  and 
friendship  for  the  generous  donors  increased 
with  longer  acquaintance.  At  first  she  was 
almost  overwhelmed  by  such  unexpected,  and, 
as  she  thought,  undeserved  gifts.  In  writing 
to  tell  us  of  them,  she  says,  "I  felt  half  inclined 
to  cry  when  Mr.  R.  enumerated  the  presents, 
all  so  handsome  and  useful.  I  was  so  humbled 
I  could  have  sunk  into  the  earth.  I  suppose 
the  feeling  is  partly  pride,  the  extreme  dislike 
and  sensitiveness  I  have  to  any  obligation  ;  but 
all  this  makes  me  feel  as  if  people  expected  so 
much  of  me,  this  repaying  beforehand  of  what  I 
am  expected  to  be  and  to  do,  and  to  which  I 
may  never  attain.  Supposing,  what  is  quite 
possible,  I  turn  out  incapable  of  conducting  the 
scheme,  and  have  to  be  replaced,  not  for  any 
fault,  but  merely  for  want  of  the  necessary 
governing  and  organizing  power,  I  shall  feel 
like  the  originator  of  the  South  Sea  bubble,  for 
allowing  people  to  be  deluded  by  false  expecta- 
tions.    I  should  equally  dislike  any  future  testi- 


298  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

menial,  but  I  could  bear  it  more  patiently  had 
I  been  at  work  and  done  something.  When 
anything  goes  wrong,  I  shall  look  round  on  my 
furniture  as  if  each  thing  were  an  accusing 
ghost." 

No  materials  exist,  either  in  letters  or  memo- 
randa, which  will  enable  me  to  give  a  history 
of  the  work  which  Agnes  attempted  and  accom- 
plished in  the  Liverpool  workhouse.  Her  life 
there  was  too  busy  a  one  to  allow  time  for 
much  writing,  and  her  home-letters  dwelt  on 
the  little  details  which  she  knew  would  interest 
us,  and  give  no  idea  of  the  greatness  of  her 
undertaking,  or  her  plan  of  operation.  The 
hope,  therefore,  entertained  by  those  who  origi- 
nally suggested  the  idea  of  this  memoir,  that 
some  history  of  the  results  of  her  work,  some 
suggestions  as  to  the  way  in  which  it  was 
conducted,  some  idea  of  the  general  organiza- 
tion might  be  obtained,  which  would  serve  as  a 
help  to  others  treading  in  the  same  path,  must 
be  renounced.  That  she  had  thought  over  the 
subject,  and  formed  very  decided  opinions  as  to 
the   relative   merits  of  different   organizations 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  299 

and  administrations,  we  know,  but  she  never 
had  time  to  express  these  on  paper  ;  her  letters 
and  her  diary,  both  hastily  written,  (for  time 
was  very  precious  during  those  three  last  years,) 
give  no  idea  of  the  immense  work  she  orga- 
nized, or  of  her  practical  ability  and  great 
business  powers.  It  has  even  been  thought 
and  suggested,  by  one  for  whose  opinion  I  have 
great  respect,  that  the  deficiency  which  must 
arise  because  of  this,  is  a  reason  why  this 
memoir  should  not  be  published,  and  that  it 
will  tend  to  "  lower  the  vague  but  yet  high 
appreciation  which  does  exist  in  the  minds  of 
many  as  to  what  she  accomplished  in  the 
Liverpool  workhouse."  I  trust  that  the  exist- 
ence of  her  work,  recognized  by  all  who  take 
an  interest  in  the  subject  of  workhouse-nursing, 
will  obviate  this  danger.  The  memoir  has  been 
compiled,  not  for  the  benefit  of  poor-law  boards 
and  boards  of  guardians,  but  for  Christian 
women,  who,  reading  the  story  of  her  consistent 
walk  in  paths  of  no  ordinary  difficulty,  and 
moved  by  the  example  of  unwavering  devotion 
to  her  heavenly  Master's  work,  may  go  and  do 
lik(;\vibe. 


300  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.     * 

One  of  my  aunts  wrote,  about  this  time,  to 
ask  Mr.  Falloon  to  call  on  her,  knowing  how 
she  would  value  his  visits.  Agnes  writes  in 
reply : — 

*'  I  am  so  grateful  to  you  for  having  written 
to  Mr.  F.,  as  I  had  been  longing  to  see  him, 
but  did  not  know  how  to  introduce  myself,  or 
let  him  hear  of  me.  The  fewer  visitors  I  have 
the  better,  but  I  want  one  or  two  choice  ones 
to  help  me  in  the  best  way,  and  if  he  will  kindly 
sometimes  think  of  me,  it  will  be  a  great  privi- 
lege. I  now  spend  about  three  hours  daily 
going  my  rounds  of  the  wards,  which  does  not 
give  long  to  each ;  and  as  I  have  not  yet 
assumed  the  reins,  I  cannot  do  anything,  not 
even  sit  down  to  read  to  a  patient,  but  I  get  a 
few  words  to  most,  and  I  think  already  many 
look  for  me.  There  is  so  much  that  is  very 
sad  which  one  realizes  more  when  inactive 
in  the  way  of  remedy,  but,  I  hope,  we  shall  be 
able  to  lessen  many  evils  in  time  ;  slowly  and 
gradually  it  must  be.  I  hear  few  complaints, 
and  I  have  very  few  requests,  these  chiefly  for 
pap^r   and   stamps  to  write  to  friends,  and    I 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  30I 

receive  many  respectful  nods  from  my  country- 
men.    There  is  one  very  large  ward  entirely 
Roman  Catholic,  and  on  my  first  visit,  I  had  so 
many  questions  to  answer,  *  Are  you  a  Catholic  ?' 
etc.  etc.,  as  no  other  visitors  are  admitted.     I 
see   many,  in  various  directions,  reading  their 
Bibles,  and  have  met  several  who  seem  indeed 
to  rejoice  in  them.     One  dear  bright  little  child 
especially,  who   is   one   mass  of  sores,  always 
looks  so  happy,  and  his  large  eyes  dance  with 
delight  as  he  repeats  hymns,  etc.     He  speaks 
so  imperfectly  that   I   cannot    ask  him  much, 
indeed  my  deafness  makes  me  lose  a  good  deal. 
There  are  many  poor  blacks  here ;  one  has  died 
since  I  came;  severe  colds  are  so  fatal  to  them. 
One  man  from  Manilla  is  dying,  and  only  one 
of  the   patients  can   understand  his   language. 
There  are  many  idiots  and  old  people  in  their 
dotage  ;  one  keeps  a  birch  rod  under  his  pillow 
which   he    daily  presents  to   me,  with    a  long 
speech  ;  others  cry,  if  spoken  to  kindly.     I  feel 
daily  more  and  more  glad  of  the  work  in  pro- 
spect; it  is  such  a  field  of  usefulness,  if  God  only 
bless  us  in  it,  and  I  feel  sure  He  will  do  so.     Few 


302  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

have  had  such  a  very  happy  hfe  as  I  have,  and 
it  is  happier  every  year.  Now  mother's  health 
is  an  anxiety,  but  I  try  to  feel  the  keepings  both 
for  her  and  me,  while  we  are  absent  from  each 
other,  and  yet  it  is  such  a  blessing  to  feel  I  have 
such  a  loving  mother,  even  far  away. 

April  i8th,  1865. 

"  Isaiah  xlii.  16. 
"  I  know  not  the  way  I  am  going, 

But  well  do  I  know  my  Guide  ; 
With  a  child-like  trust  I  give  my  hand 

To  the  mighty  Friend  by  my  side. 
The  only  thing  that  I  say  to  Him 
As  he  takes  it,  is,  *  Hold  it  fast, 
Suffer  me  not  to  lose  my  way, 
And  bring  me  home  at  last.* 

"  As  when  some  helpless  wanderer, 

Alone  in  an  unknown  land, 
Tells  the  guide  his  destined  place  of  rest. 

And  leaves  all  else  in  his  hand  : 
*Tis  home,  'tis  home  that  we  wish  to  reach. 

He  Who  guides  us  may  choose  the  way ; 
Little  we  heed  the  path  we  take, 

If  nearer  home  each  day." 

**  I  am  learning  this  hymn,  it  seems  so  suit- 
able to  me.  To-day  in  one  ward  lay  a  poor 
black  man ;  the  dews  of  death  were  on  his  face, 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.        303 

and  his  poor  parched  lips  and  gasping  breath 
told  the  same  tale.  Oh  !  how  I  longed  to  go 
and  nurse  him.  I  was  able  to  say  a  few  words 
to  him  of  Jesus.  He  said  he  was  so  weak,  but 
I  told  how  Jesus  could  tell  the  secret  of  the 
heart,  and  accept  the  weakest  longing.  Oh ! 
the  loneliness  of  these  sick-beds.  Oh !  the 
many,  many  wants.  How  we  shall  need  strength 
and  hope  and  faith  in  God  !  Then  the  thought 
which  every  one  repeats,  that  *  nobody  ever 
comes  into  a  place  like  this  but  by  their  own 
fault,'  meaning  idleness  or  sin.  A  hospital  is 
sad  enough,  but  a  workhouse  !  It  almost  seems 
as  if  over  so  many  of  those  beds  *  no  hope ' 
must  be  written  with  reference  to  this  world. 
Friendless,  hopeless.  If  in  this  life  only  ye 
have  hope,  ye  are  of  all  men  most  miserable. 
How  we  shall  need  the  love  of  Christ  to  con- 
strain us  in  our  work,  to  be  as  He  would  have 
us  be  with  those  poor  sufterers,  not  as  man 
would  have  us !  To-day  I  was  only  in  the 
medical  wards.  A  Frenchman,  who  does  not 
speak  English,  much  enjoyed  a  talk.  He  so 
brightened  up  and   made   me   such  a   French 


304  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE, 

salute  as  I  moved  on.  I  gave  him  paper  for 
writing,  and  he  seemed  quite  joyous  with  the 
thought  of  the  answer.  An  ItaHan  was  much 
cheered  by  my  telHng  him  I  knew  Naples  well. 
Oh  !  if  God  gives  me  power  to  bring  a  little 
brightness  to  some,  what  a  blessing  it  will  be  ! 
I  had  some  talk  with  a  man  who  seemed  to 
feel  his  need  of  Jesus,  and  yet  was  confused 
about  the  way.  I  gave  him  two  thoughts,  '  Be- 
hold the  Lamb  of  God  which  taketh  away  the 
sin  of  the  world,'  and  *  Jesus  died  for  me.'  I 
was  rather  horror-struck  to  hear  that  a  police- 
man goes  every  night  through  the  wards  to 
keep  order.  The  feeling  remained  of  the  class 
of  insubordinates  one  would  have  to  control. 
How  earnestly  I  desire  they  may  be  the  better 
of  our  coming  here  !  Six  hundred  patients  de- 
pendent for  comfort  on  me  and  my  staff !  '  I 
will  lift  up  mine  eyes  unto  the  hills.'  *  Our 
eyes  wait  upon  Thee,  O  Lord.'  " 

"May  yd, — Yesterday  I  was  in  bed  all  day 
with  a  heavy  cold.  No  one  but  Mary  c^me 
near  me  all  day,  but  she  was  most  attentive. 
At  times  I  realized  the  isolation  of  my  position. 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  305 

Yet  the  great  Friend  is  ever  near,  nothing  can 
separate  from  Him.  Strength  seems, more  given 
me  to  leave  off  looking  at  the  work  as  a  great 
whole,  at  the  issue  expected  and  hoped  for — 
success  in  the  eyes  of  man, — and  I  see  more 
daily  of  the  benefit  we  cannot  help  being  to 
individuals  in  many  little  things.  I  trust  that 
He  Who  of  such  little  things  says,  '  done  unto 
Me,'  will  accept  them  ;  and  if  it  be  His  will, 
build  these  little  single  bricks  up  into  a  vast 
edifice,  of  which  He  will  be  the  foundation  and 
top-stone,  and  all  to  His  honour  and  glory,  and 
for  the  good  of  the  thousands  who,  from  these 
sad,  sad  workhouses,  cry  day  and  night  to  Him. 
And  thus  He  can  give  us  success,  and  will  it 
not  come  more  surely  than  if  I  carry  that  bur- 
den of  care  ?  How  will  men  see  this  ?  How 
will  it  succeed  as  a  whole  ?  Shall  I  not  go  on 
far  more  joyfully  if  I  receive  from  Him  the 
daily  little  joys  of  these  small  comforts  to  many 
single  sufferers,  thanking  Him  for  being  enabled 
to  do  a  little,  and  yet  in  His  strength  doing  all 
lean?" 

During  this  interval  of  waiting  for  the  begin- 


306  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

ning  of  her  work — for  the  trained  nurses  had 
not  yet  arrived — Agnes  wrote  the  following 
letter  to  Mrs.  Pennefather,  which  is  interesting, 
as  giving  her  views  with  regard  to  sisterhoods, 
a  subject  so  widely  discussed  in  the  present 
day,  and  involving  a  question  of  such  vital 
importance  to  unemployed  and  lonely  women. 
It  must  be  remembered,  however,  that  she  is 
not  here  planning  a  new  institution,  but  recom- 
mending the  modification  of  one  already  esta- 
blished. She,  therefore,  touches  on  one  or  two 
points  only  in  the  existing  arrangements  where 
she  thought  alteration  might  be  beneficial. 

"Liverpool  Workhouse,  Mot/  ijth,  1865. 

"  Dearest  Mrs.  Pennefather, — I  sit  down 
to  answer  yours  at  once,  as  I  have  time  now 
which  I  may  not  have  again  for  weeks  :  We  have 
not  yet  begun.  I  have  been  living  here  nearly 
a  month,  but  have  weekly  to  put  off  my  staff, 
their  rooms  not  being  ready.  We  hope  de- 
cidedly to  begin  on  the  i6th.  I  go  daily  to  the 
wards  to  see  the  poor  patients,  and  am  on  the 
spot  when  wanted   about  arrangements  ;  this, 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  307 

and  preparing  a  lending  library,  is  the  extent 
of  my  work  at  present.  I  do  not  feel  the  time 
lost.  I  feel  quite  at  home  here  now,  and  am 
pretty  much  so  in  the  wards,  though  not  able 
to  do  anything,  not  being  in  office  yet.  It 
is  more  trying  work,  however,  than  if  I  felt 
something  were  doing.  I  see  so  much  that 
needs  a  remedy,  and  can  only  sometimes  give  a 
little  hint  how  to  make  a  sufferer  easier,  or  do 
it  myself.  But  the  scenes  of  various  kinds, 
and  the  many  deaths,  are  very  sad,  and  I  feel 
very  much  the  absolute  prohibition  to  say  a 
word  to  the  Roman  Catholics.  My  question 
about  the  separate  wards  for  Protestants  and 
Roman  Catholics,  has  been  decided  for  me. 
One  of  the  guardians,  whom  I  asked,  thought 
it  would  involve  endless  difficulties.  Thank 
you  so  much  for  wishing  to  help  me  in  it. 
I  look  often  to  you  ;  on  many  points  it  seems 
as  if  I  could  ask  no  one  else,  and  your  letters 
always  help  me  so  much,  if  only  by  their  sym- 
pathy. It  often  seems  strange  that  T,  who 
have  so  little  self-reliance,  and  would  like  every 
step  directed,  am  obliged  to  take  such  an  inde- 

X  2 


308         LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE. 

pendent  position  ;  and  yet  I  have  been  so  led  on 
that  I  could  not  help  it,  and  I  only  trust  I  may 
be  more  and  more  led  to  look  to  the  guidance  of 
the  Ever-present  and  All-wise  Heavenly  Friend. 
But  perhaps  to  no  one  are  letters  such  a  boon. 
So  cut  off  from  personal  intercourse  with  my 
dearest  friends,  I  cling  to  their  letters,  and 
often  a  letter  has  been  God's  messenger  to 
bring  me  brightness  when  all  seemed  dark  and 
trying.  I  have  so  often  to  thank  Him  for  let- 
ters coming  just  when  needed*  To  any  one  here 
I  must  be  very  reserved  about  my  work  and 
difficulties,  even  had  I  any  one  who  could  enter 
into  the  work  heartily  so  as  to  understand,  but 
a  great  deal  of  mischief  might  be  done  by  re- 
peating what  I  said.  I  did  not  sit  down  to 
write  about  self,  however,  but  about  Deaconess 
work.  I  feel  more  and  more  anxious  that 
you  and  dear  Mr.  Pennefather  should  see  an 
opening  for  your  having  some  training-school 
for  Christian  w^omen  of  all  ranks.  Many  cir- 
cumstances make  me  increasingly  feel  the  ne- 
cessity of  some  such  institution.  I  believe  there 
are  many  women  of  all  ages  longing  for  work, 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  3C9 

who  cannot  from  position  or  character  seek  it 
for  themselves.  Many  need  guidance  and  di- 
rection :  all  want  training  and  help.     I  know 

at  many  came  to  seek  it,   and  of  those 

who  remained,  some  felt  much  that  while  they 
found  work  and  certain  help,  they  did  not  find 
heart-teaching  and  help  heavenward.  I  believe 
in  other  High  Church  sisterhoods  there  are 
many  such,  and  yet  where  can  earnest  women 
go  ?  There  is  no  Evangelical  home  :  your 
name  would  attract  many.  There  could  be  no 
suspicion  as  to  the  religious  party.     I  had  some 

talk  with  the  other  day.     He  thinks  the 

way  the  Deaconess  work  will  best  take  root  in 
England,  is  from  some  one  centre  institution, 
which  will  train  workers  and  send  them  out. 
I  agree  with  him  that  many  separate  institu- 
tions are  just  battling  the  question  over  and 
over  again  without  result,  and  the  fruit  of  one 
where  the  question  had  been  practically  worked 
out,   would  be  the   best   answer  to   prejudice. 

But  I  do  not  agree  with  him  that is  fitted 

to  be  that  head.  I  believe  the  head  oi  such  an 
institution  must  be  more  decided  than  he  is  (as 


3IO  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

appears  to  me)  in  religious  views.  I  believe  no 
untried  worker,  however  earnest,  w^ould  do,  and 
no  one  whose  religious  character  is  not  of  the 
highest  stamp.  One  who  is  firm  in  his  reli- 
gious views,  and  yet  not  narrow-minded  in  any- 
thing, wath  cultivated  and  practical  mind  and 
unlimited  power  of  sympathy.  But  while  there 
must  be  a  certain  liberty  of  opinion  in  rriinor 
points,  I  cannot  ever  think  too  *  liberal '  a  head 
will  do.  This  seems  to  me  so  often  the  expression 
for  those  who  have  not  made  up  their  own  minds, 
and  therefore  cannot  certainly  direct  those  of 
others.  But  what  I  feel  so  much  is,  how  many 
there  are  who  want  some  place  where  they  can 
get  teaching  for  their  own  hearts  and  souls,  train- 
ing for  and  direction  in  work  for  others,  sympa- 
thy in  that  work  and  their  difficulties  in  it,  and 
a  home  where  in  their  leisure  hours  they  may 
have  more  or  less  association  with  others.  I 
believe  many  older  people  want  this  as  a  home, 
and  many  younger,  who  would  go  for  a  time 
for  training,  which  they  are  anxious  to  have 
for  work  near  home.  I  have  learnt  two  things 
which   make    me    most    anxious    about    this. 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  311 

Learning  from  real  workers  helps  one  very 
much,  but  not  before  one  knows  the  work. 
When  you  have  tried  and  felt  your  weak  points, 
and  when  you  are  working  and  dail}-  meet  diffi- 
culties, then  a  few  words  with  some  sympa- 
thizing worker  are  a  great  help,  and  sometimes 
throw  a  new  light  on  the  whole  subject.  Many 
want  their  powers  drawn  out ;  they  feel  a  power 
they  fear  to  try,  and  require  advice  and  di- 
rection. 

^'  But  there  is  another  and  a  \ery  strong  point 
— the  shrinking  many  have  from  coming  for- 
ward even  in  good  works.  I  think  this  needs 
to  be  carefully  dealt  with,  there  is  such  mis- 
chief in  any  combating  it.  I  believe  that  feel- 
ing is  a  great  safeguard,  if  only  kept  in  its  place. 
Association  of  workers  will  help  to  do  this,  and 
so  will  working  under  direction  ;  but,  as  I  know 
painfully,  no  one  can  tell  what  a  woman  ex- 
poses herself  to  who  acts  independently.  I 
never  would  advise  any  one  to  do  as  I  have 
done,  and  yet  I  can  feel  I  have  been  led  on 
step  by  step,  almost  unwillingly,  certainly  not 
as  I  should  have   chosen,   had   I   not    seemed 


312  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

guided,  and  I  believe  have  been,  and  so  kept. 
But  there  is  much  one  shrinks  from,  and 
while  often  much  to  humble,  yet  a  great  deal 
to  puff  up,  much  to  which  a  member  of  a  body 
would  not  be  exposed.  When  one  seeks  train- 
ing in  other  than  a  Christian  home,  there  is  in 
public  institutions  so  much  to  keep  back,  and 
so  little  to  foster  spiritual  growth.  To  learn  to 
work  in  any  way,  one  must  now  in  England  go 
where  there  is  no  teaching,  no  help  outwardly ; 
cut  off  from  every  human  teacher  and  /riend, 
and  the  want  of  every  refinement  in  surround- 
ings, and  of  every  source  of  knowledge  of  even 
the  good  going  on  in  the  world  around.  All 
this  makes  one^s  own  world  so  narrow,  that  in 
spite  of  deep  interest  in  the  work,  there  are 
times  when  one  either  feels  alone,  or  as  if  very 
self-denying.  It  makes  a  cause  for  trial  which 
takes  another  form  in  a  community,  but  is  not 
the  same.  The  temptations  in  communities 
are  to  jealousy  and  envy,  and  yet  perhaps  one 
more  feels  both  one's  own  power  and  what 
one  lacks,  than  in  independent  work ;  but  I 
do  not  think  there  is  the  same  daily  and  hourly 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.         313 

difficulty  about  what  is  one's  duty  and  work, 
which  many  shrink  from  and  meet  by  doing  no- 
thing. Those  who  persevere  learn  in  the  school  of 
mistakes, — an  invaluable  school,  but  slow  train- 
ing. All  these  things  you  know  far  better  than  I; 
but  as  I  daily  and  hourly  feel  them,  I  long  for 
a  more  '  royal  road  '  for  many  ardent  and  weak 
ones,  many  who  for  years  perhaps  are  kept  back 
from  doing  anything  ;  many  who  die  without 
ever  going  beyond  the  wish  to  do  something. 
I  know  parents  whose  young  people  want  work 
for  God,  who  would  gladly  send  them  some- 
where for  a  time  to  be  trained ;  I  know  grown- 
up women,  not  far  advanced  in  Christian  life, 
who  would  Hke  to  do  a  little  under  direction  ; 
and  I  know  some  who  have  gone,  almost 
against  their  principles,  into  sisterhoods  be- 
cause they  cannot  get  what  they  want  else- 
where. Surely  all  these  want  help.  I  ahvays 
so  feel  you  cjuld  give  it,  if  the  way  were 
opened.  I  do  not  know  what  you  think  of  dea- 
conesses. I  think  the  reality  might  be  had 
without  the  dress  or  name.  The  difficulty  is 
the  real  submission  of  will  there  must  be.     I 


314  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

believe  this  is  the  valuable  part  of  the  training. 
It  is  hard  to  get  it,  but  I  believe  it  could  be 
given  to  a  really  superior  head  :  this  makes  it  so 
needful,  that  the  character  of  that  head  should 
be  in  every  way  above  those  governed.  I  be- 
lieve all  I  owe  to  Kaiserswerth  was  comprised 
in  the  lesson  of  unquestioning  obedience.  I 
tried  to  do  everything  I  was  desired,  no  matter 
how  impossible  it  seemed,  and  found  often  less 
difficulty  than  I  anticipated ;  or  if  I  did  not 
succeed,  the  pastor's  lesson  on  the  failure,  its 
cause,  etc.,  was  most  valuable.  I  am  sure  I 
should  never  have  obeyed  this  call,  if  I  had  not 
begun  at  Kaiserswerth  ;  and  so  I  believe  many 
characters  might  be  moulded  in  many  w^ays  ; 
not,  perhaps,  for  years  of  work  under  your  in- 
stitution, but  for  work  in  their  various  homes 
and  neighbourhoods.  My  idea,  as  you  ask  it, 
is  not  to  begin  with  a  sisterhood,  but  a  home 
for  ladies  who  must  submit  to  certain  rules  and 
government.  ...  I  used  to  think  people  could 
work  on  for  ever;  now  I  am  sure  a  certain 
amount  of  quiet  and  recreation  is  needed,  and 
makes   one   work  better  with   less   strain.     I 


LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE.  315 

think,  with  very  slight  variation,  your  present 
system  would  suit ;  and  then,  if  after  a  time 
any  wished  to  devote  themselves  more  en- 
tirely, the  question  of  deaconesses  would  arise. 
In  your  large  parish  you  could  have  a  great 
variety  of  work  ;  more  distinct  nursing,  or  other 
training,  would  come  later.  My  idea  of  begin- 
ning is  more  the  work  any  lady  might  have  in 
her  own  neighbourhood  on  her  return  home 
after  a  time  with  you.  I  really  must  apologize 
for  this  letter.  I  have  written  on,  often  inter- 
rupted, and  forgetting  \>hat  I  had  said,  and  so 
it  has  grown.  My  only  excuse  must  be  my 
deep  feeling  of  longing  for  more  labourers,  and 
wiser  and  better  ones.  I  so  deeply  feel  how 
few  get  training  for  that  work  which,  of  all  work, 
needs  it.  I  often  think  of  Dorothea  Trudel's 
last  prayer  for  and  with  me,  '  that  I  might  be  a 
polished  stone,  fit  for  the  Master's  use.'  He 
must  polish  and  use  us,  but  I  believe  He  uses 
means  of  fitting,  and  wills  us  to  use  them  as 
given.  How  many  unhewn  stones  there  are 
which  seem  to  need  but  a  little  fashioning,  and 
shall  we  offer  to  Him  that  which  costs  us  no- 


3l6  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

thing?  It  is  such  an  honour  to  he  used  by 
Him, — should  we  not  seek  it,  not  to  add  to  our 
own  crown,  but  His  ?  It  seems  a  new  hope  that 
something  will  be  done  for  training  workers, 
which  I  so  often  long  and  pray  for.  I  shall 
always  be  so  glad  to  hear  of  anything  being 
attempted.  Pray  for  me,  dearest  friend,  as  I 
do  often  for  you,  and  with  deepest  gratitude 
for  your  love  and  sympathy. 

**  Ever  yours,  most  affectionately, 

**  Agnes  E.  Jones." 

In  a  letter  to  my  aunt  of  the  same  date,  she 
writes : — 

"  I  am  much  amused  at  everyone  endeavour- 
ing to  impress  me  with  the  magnitude  of  the 
undertaking,  as  if  I  had  not  rather  to  struggle 
against  the  realization.  I  am  trying  and  suc- 
ceeding more  and  more  in  fixing  my  eyes  on 
all  the  little  things  we  shall  be  able  to  do.  I 
believe  in  this  is  our  safety,  doing  the  daily 
littles  as  opportunity  is  given,  and  leaving  the 
issue  with  God.  It  is  the  individual  influence 
we  shall  have,  the  individual  relief  and  the  in- 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.         317 

dividual  help  for  mind  and  body,  that  will  be 
ours.  If  it  is  His  will,  He  can  make  others 
see  the  many  littles  as  one  great  whole,  or  they 
may  see  nothing  done,  while  we  have  the  com- 
fort of  the  littles  we  know  have  been  done.  I 
always  feel  any  work  seems  more  trying  to  out- 
siders than  it  really  is.  We  can  talk  of  our 
trials,  but  all  the  little  helps  that  so  comfort 
us,  and  come  as  sunbeams,  however  transitory, 
just  when  we  need  them,  these  we  only  keep 
as  our  own,  and  go  back  on  them  in  memory 
when  clouds  are  thickening  again.  These  help 
me  now  when  I  look  forward.  I  know  God  will 
send  what  is  needed.  Some  lovely  flowers  have 
come  from  Greenbank,  just  when  I  was  think- 
ing I  must  throw  out  those  I  brought  from 
New  Brighton  ;  so  even  this  want  is  met  al- 
most before  felt.  Certainly,  it  is  wonderful 
how  God  cares  for  me  in  the  least  thing." 

And  now  at  last  all  was  ready,  and  the  day 
arrived  on  which  the  nurses  were  expected. 
An  anxious  one  it  must  have  been  to  her,  and 
not  without  its  special  trials.  She  had  been 
very  careful  not  to  lend  any  tracts  or  leaflets 


3l8  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

in  the  wards,  as  she  felt  that  to  begin  with 
what  might  be  objected  to  before  her  position 
was  established,  would  be  unwise  ;  but -a  friend 
had  given  her  some  books  and  magazines  for 
distribution  among  the  patients,  and  she  had 
gladly  carried  out  the  wishes  of  the  kind  giver. 
This  morning  of  the  i6th  May,  however,  it  was 
intimated  to  her  that  she  must  lend  books 
henceforth  only  through  the  chaplain.  The 
order  fell  chillingly  on  her  eager  desire  to  give 
some  new  pleasure  and  interest  to  the  poor 
lonely  ones  in  their  hours  of  dreary  sickness, 
but  of  course  she  had  no  choice  but  to  submit. 
The  party  of  nurses  arrived  from  London  a  few 
hours  later,  twelve  Nightingale  nurses  and  seven 
probationers.  The  next  afternoon  the  work 
began  in  earnest.  One  of  the  great  difficulties 
of  the  first  year  arose  from  the  character  of 
the  ex-pauper  women  who  were  brought  into 
the  hospital  from  the  other  departments  of  the 
workhouse,  to  be  trained  under  the  nurses. 
Rough,  coarse  women  they  were,  and  appa- 
rently incapable  of  receiving  instruction ;  be- 
sides, their  habits  of  intemperance  led  them 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  319 

astray  whenever  the  slightest  liberty  was  al- 
lowed ;  SO  at  last,  after  some  months  of  uphill 
work  and  continual  disappointment,  the  plan 
had  to  be  given  up.  On  the  22nd  May  Agnes 
wrote  home  : — • 

"  We  are  getting  on  delightfully  so  far,  and  I 
am  very  well,  and  scarcely  tired,  though  I  have 
had  and  have  heav}^  head  and  leg-work,  which 
will,  however,  get  lighter  every  day.  I  have  no 
time  for  letters  or  for  reading, — ^just  one  verse 
at  night.  That  on  Friday,  our  first  day,  was 
'SO  appropriate  (Nehemiah  ix.  21),  '  Yea,  forty 
years  did  Thou  sustain  them  in  the  wilderness, 
so  that  they  lacked  nothing  ;  their  clothes  waxed 
not  old,  and  their  feet  swelled  not.'  I  was  at 
the  moment  wondering  how  well  my  poor  feet 
felt  after  about  fifty  ascents  of  seventy  stairs, 
which  I  had  had  in  the  hours  of  placing  my 
staff;  each  set  to  be  put  separately  into  their 
charge,  and  I  had  to  run  up  and  down  with 
each.  I  arranged  for  them  to  come  up  in 
parties  ;  but  brainless  people  make  such  stupid 
mistakes,  I  found  in  the  end  I  had  to  come 
down    myself.     The   whole   thing    seems    now 


320  LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE. 

really  manageable  to  what  I  expected.  Clouds 
are  rising,  but  as  '  Hitherto '  the  Lord  will 
help.  Mrs.  R.,  whom  I  met  at  Barnet,  called 
to-day,  chiefly  to  tell  me  she  had  heard  from  a 
poor  woman  in  her  district  how  nicely  her  hus- 
band was  getting  on  here,  and  how  comfort- 
able everything  was  since  the  London  nurses 
came.  Our  poor  little  boys,  too,  are  so  happy, 
before,  they  were  often  maltreated  by  the  at- 
tendants." 

**  June  ^th, — I  had  a  very  pleasant  Bible-class 
yesterday  afternoon  for  my  nurses,  delightful  to 
me,  if  not  to  them.  To-day  I  had  a  visit  from 
a  Roman  Catholic  lady,  who  was  very  cordial ; 
she  said  she  so  rejoiced  in  our  work,  and  wished 
us  every  blessing.  She  is  a  lady  visitor  here,  I 
find." 

"  June  22nd. — I  sent  half  of  my  party  to-day 
to  New  Brighton — the  invalids  and  night  nurses; 
they  enjoy  it  much,  and  it  does  them  all  good. 
The  submission  of  the  patients  now  is  most 
amusing.  If  I  give  a  lecture  in  a  ward  for  dis- 
order of  any  kind,  I  soon  get  a  message  they 
are    *  So  sorry  they  upset   the  Lady  Superin- 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE. 


321 


tendent;'  and  with  medicines,  dressings,  etc., 
they  ma}'  rebel,  but  if  *  the  Lady  says  so,' 
they  submit  at  once.  I  have  not  to  be  sum- 
moned so  often  as  before,  the  threat  is  enough  ; 
and  yet  patients,  as  well  as  nurses,  feel  they  can 
have  redress  of  any  grievance  by  an  appeal  to 
me.  I  had  such  a  grateful  message  from  the 
poor  infirm,  for  getting  them  good  bread.  I 
am  so  sorry  to  be  able  to  do  so  little,  but 
they  are  surprised  at  my  being  early  and  late 
among  them." 

Her  day  was,  indeed,  no  idle  one.  At  5.30 
A.M.  she  went  in  her  dressing-gown  to  unlock 
the  doors  for  the  kitchen-women.  At  6  she  rang 
the  bell  for  the  nurses  and  probationers  ;  at  6.30 
all  assembled  for  prayers  in  the  nurses'  sitting- 
room.  At  7  the  breakfast  began.  Often  she 
made  a  round  of  the  wards  at  6  ;  and  if  there 
was  any  anxious  case,  she  would  be  up  two  or 
three  times  in  the  night.  After  "  a  race  round 
the  wards  to  see  that  all  the  breakfasts  are  cor- 
rect," she  came  to  her  own  at  the  head  of  the 
table,  where  nurses,  probationers,  assistants 
and  scourers  were  seated.  At  7.30  she  gave  the 

Y 


322  LIVERPOOL    AVORKHOUSE. 


orders  for  the  day,  and  then  made  another 
round  of  the  wards.  Then  giving  out  stores 
occupied  her  till  the  first  dinner  began  at  12. 
She  was  always  present  herself,  carved  for  the 
nurses  and  probationers,  and  dined  with  them. 
When  we  wrote  to  remonstrate  with  her  for 
not  having  rest  and  quiet  even  at  her  meals, 
she  answered  that  the  moral  influence  of  her 
presence  in  such  a  mixed  community,  she  con- 
sidered not  the  least  important  part  of  her 
day's  work.  Besides,  she  felt  there  was  much 
for  the  superior  nurses  to  bear,  on  first  coming 
to  a  workhouse  hospital,  where  the  class  of 
patients  was  much  lower  than  those  they  had 
been  accustomed  to ;  and  she  wished,  wherever 
it  was  possible,  by  sharing  their  labours  and 
identifying  herself  with  their  life,  to  help  them 
through  the  trials  and  difficulties  of  their  new 
position.  Occasional  visits  to  individual  pa- 
tients, giving  out  stores,  and  attending  to  calls 
innumerable,  occupied  the  afternoon.  After 
presiding  at  tea  at  4,  she  returned  to  the 
wards,  to  see  how  the  dressing  was  done.  And 
here  her  practical  knowledge  of  nursing-work 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  323 

enabled  her  to  direct  the  nurses  and  teach  the 
probationers,  and  gave  her  weight  with  both, 
which  was  invaluable  to  her  authority.'  At  9 
o'clock  the  night  nurses  went  on  duty,  and  she 
visited  the  wards  to  see  that  each  was  at  her 
post.  Prayers  were  at  9.30,  after  which  the 
day  nurses  went  to  bed  ;  but  another  round  of 
the  wards  was  still  before  Agnes,  and  it  was 
generally  after  11  before  she  could  go  to  her 
own  room,  and  feel  she  might  lie  down  to  rest 
with  her  work  for  the  day  done.  There  was  a 
great  deal  of  illness  among  her  nurses  during  the 
first  year,  fever  and  small-pox  ;  and  the  anxiety 
about  these  cases  pressed  often  painfully  upon 
her.  The  responsibility,  too,  attached  to  so 
vast  an  undertaking,  at  times  weighed  down 
her  spirits  ;  the  depressing  influence  of  a  work- 
house in  its  outward,  and  still  more  in  its 
moral  aspect,  the  isolation  from  friends  and  re- 
latives, and  all  the  pleasures  and  comforts  of 
social  life,  and  besides  all  this,  difficulties  in 
the  work  itself,  and  opposition  and  trial  from 
some  who  might  have  been  expected  to  uphold 
her  authority  and  strengthen  her  hands.     It  is 

Y   2 


324  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

wonderful  to  see  how  brightly,  as  a  rule,  she 
looks  upon  the  work ;  at  times,  indeed,  we  find 
expressions  in  journal  and  letter  indicating  ex- 
treme depression  ;  but  this  was  as  much  phy- 
sical as  mental ;  and  as  they  occur  more  fre- 
quently in  the  third  year  of  her  labours  in 
Liverpool,  we  may  well  believe  that  they  may 
be  generally,  if  not  always,  traced  to  over- 
fatigue of  mind  and  body.  In  the  end  of  Oc- 
tober, 1865,  my  mother  and  I  spent  a  few  days 
in  Liverpool  on  our  return  from  the  Continent. 
As  we  drove  through  the  gloomy  gates  and  up 
the  narrow  road  between  high  walls  which  led 
to  her  apartments,  the  contrast  to  her  sweet 
country  home,  with  its  lovely  scenes  and  pure 
mountain  breezes,  and  all  that  had  been  such 
a  delight  to  her,  struck  us  painfully ;  but  once 
in  her  rooms,  where  she  greeted  us  with  a  face 
more  radiant  than  ever,  it  was  impossible  to 
look  at  her  and  pity  her.  She  was  the  pic- 
ture of  happiness,  and  evidently  delighted  in 
her  work,  finding  pleasure  in  every  proof,  how- 
ever small,  that  through  her  or  her  staff,  more 
of  physical,  as  well  as  moral  and  spiritual  good, 


LIVERPOOL     WORKHOUSE.  325 


had  been    brought    to   those   under   her    care. 
Early  in  the  summer  she  began  Sunday  even- 
ing readings  in  one  of  the  wards  where  there 
were  none  but  Protestants.     She  could  not  be 
ignorant  that  Roman  Catholics  did  attend ;  but 
as  they  came  uninvited,  she  did  not   consider 
herself   called    upon   to    exclude    them.      This 
class  she  continued  to  the  end.     I  shall  never 
forget  the  one  at  which    I  was   present.     We 
came   into   the   ward  where   about  twenty  pa- 
tients were   in  bed,  a  few  minutes   before  the 
appointed  hour.     Agnes  passed  at  once  to  her 
seat   at  the   top  of  the  room,  and   sat  quietly 
reading  her  Bible  until   the   clock  struck.     In 
the  meantime  the  room  had  filled ;  on  each  bed 
men  were  seated  closely  packed  together,  others 
standing  by  the  wall   or  grouped  around,  and 
there  they  stood  in  almost  painful  silence  until 
the  end.     I  never  saw  more  attentive  listeners. 
She  began  with  a  shoit  prayer  ;  then  read  part 
of  a  chapter,  on  which  she  commented  in  very 
simple  but  striking  words,  closing  with  a  prac- 
tical application  and  earnest  personal  appeal  to 
the  hearts  of  all  present.    After  reading  a  hymn 


326  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

she  again  prayed,  and  so  ended  the  class.  As 
we  left  the  room,  the  respectful  demeanour  of 
the  men  struck  me  very  much  ;  and  during  the 
reading  I  saw  one  or  two  who  came  in  late, 
had  taken  off  their  shoes  lest  they  should  dis- 
turb her.  She  had  also  every  Sunday  a  Bible- 
class  for  her  nurses  ;  the  notes  of  her  prepara- 
tion for  both  these  show  great  care  and  thought. 
Nov.  loth  she  writes : — "  We  are  feeling  the 
approach  of  winter,  for  our  wards  are  filling 
fast.  On  Wednesday  I  went  out  to  Dingle 
Bank  at  5,  and  drove  in  with  the  C.'s  to  Mr. 
Birrell's  lecture,  where  I  met  my  nurses  and 
returned  with  them.  We  had  a  beautiful  ser- 
mon on  the  fruits  of  the  Spirit,  and  last  night 
Mr.  Lockhart's  address  was  most  helpful  on 
being  *  rooted  in  Christ.'  I  do  not  know  when 
I  so  enjoyed  two  lectures ;  sent,  I  am  sure,  to 
make  up  to  me  for  my  Sunday,  which  seemed 
lost.  I  had  a  bad  headache,  and  could  not  get 
out  in  the  evening,  the  only  service  where  I 
can  hear.  I  had  eighty  at  my  Bible-class,  but 
it  was  all  I  was  equal  to  for  the  afternoon. 
We    are  very  busy,  having  more  people   than 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.         327 

room.  I  had  forty  children  under  twelve  sent 
in  to  me  one  day,  and  we  had  to  clear  a  large 
ward  for  them ;  but  they  are  over-crowded, 
twenty-two  being  the  licensed  number  for  the 
room.  You  can  fancy  the  nests  of  them,  two 
beds  being  put  together,  and  two  children  at 
the  head  and  two  at  the  foot.  The  children 
have  only  sore  eyes,  and  you  may  imagine  the 
spirits  and  noise  of  a  healthy  set  of  forty  boys. 
However,  they  are  very  good  considering  all 
things,  and  I  have  provided  slates  and  books 
to  amuse  them.  When  I  appear  there  is  a  ge- 
neral cry  of,  '  Please  lady  !*  They  now  know 
they  must  obey ;  as  one  morning,  finding  they 
w^ould  not  keep  quiet  till  7  o'clock,  I  kept  back 
their  breakfast  till  ten  ;  but  even  when  only 
quietly  talking,  the  noise  of  forty  tongues  is 
great.'' 

A  few  days  later  : — 

"  I  have  now  sixty  children  under  twelve,  so 
I  have  turned  them  into  an  empty  ward.  You 
should  hear  the  singing  and  rejoicing;  after 
many  days  in  their  beds,  such  excitement  at 
getting  up." 


328  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

"  I  am  almost  distracted  between  sickness 
and  anxiety  and  drunkenness.  I  have  one 
head  nurse  in  great  danger,  and  much  anxiety 
about  her  sister,  who  is  with  her,  and  almost 
worn  out  with  sorrow  and  w^atching.  Then 
these  ex-pauper  women  whom  we  are  training, 
were  paid  their  wages  on  Friday,  and  the  next 
day  five  came  in  tipsy.  It  is  so  disappointing  ; 
some  who  had  done  well  for  six  months,  and 
of  whom  I  had  hopes.  How  little  I  can  do  ! 
yet  the  hewers  of  wood  and  drawers  of  water 
had  an  office  in  the  v^-ork  of  the  sanctuary,  and 
so,  perhaps,  may  I." 

In  the  midst  of  all  this  pressure  Christmas 
came,  and  Agnes  found  time  and  leisure  to  de- 
vise and  arrange  some  little  treat  for  all,  nurses 
and  patients.  It  was  one  of  the  characteristics 
of  her  work  that  she  never  overlooked  the  in- 
dividual in  the  communit}^,  but  cared  for  the 
pleasure  of  each,  as  if  they  stood  alone.  She 
had  great  faith  in  the  softening  influence  of 
happiness,  and  her  tender  heart  went  out  in 
active  sympathy  for  those  who,  immured  for 
life  in  those  hospital  wards,  had  ceased  to  ex- 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  329 

pect  that  brightness  or  gladness  could  ever 
come  to  them.  One  of  her  nurses  writes  of 
her: — "She  was  so  thoughtful  of  our  comfort 
in  every  way.  If  flowers  were  brought  to  her, 
she  would  be  sure  to  supply  us  before  she 
thought  of  herself,  fond  of  flowers  as  she  was. 
Every  Saturday  she  went  round  every  ward,  and 
took  suitable  books  for  the  patients  to  have  to 
read  on  Sunday.  I  often  think  how  closely  she 
followed  her  Saviour  in  leaving  her  home,  where 
she  might  have  had  so  many  comforts,  and  yet 
she  left  it  to  associate  with  the  poorest  and  lowest 
of  mankind.  I  feel  it  was  the  greatest  honour 
the  Lord  could  have  conferred  on  me,  when  He 
led  my  steps  towards  her.  It  was  my  happy 
lot  to  receive  from  her  my  first  lesson  in  nurs- 
ing at  St.  Thomas's  Hospital,  and  I  shall  never 
forget  her  kindness  to  me  then.  She  seemed 
to  have  sympathy  for  every  one,  especially  for 
those  she  knew  had  just  left  their  homes. 
When  we  came  to  Liverpool,  we  did  not  ex- 
pect to  find  her  as  we  had  found  her  at  St. 
Thomas's,  although  we  had  a  very  great  desire 
to  live  with  her,  feeling  sure  we  should  be  with 


330  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

a  just  person  and  a  Christian ;  but  we  soon 
found  we  had  not  half  known  her  before.  You 
know  we  entered  here  amid  great  difficulty, 
but  with  her  help  and  love  we  were  able  to 
surmount  it  all.  Before  she  took  us  into  the 
wards,  she  commended  us  all  to  God  in  prayer, 
and  besought  His  blessing  and  help  in  the 
work.  That  was  the  secret  of  her  success  in 
everything.  She  took  all  to  Jesus,  and  always 
exhorted  us  to  do  the  same.  During  the  first 
year,  when  the  staff  was  smaller,  she  made  a 
practice  of  visiting  our  rooms  every  Saturday 
and  Sunday  evening  after  prayers,  for  the  pur- 
pose of  speaking  to  us  about  Jesus.  If  she  had 
had  occasion  to  scold  us  in  the  week,  she  was 
sure  to  remember  it,  and  w^ould  say,  *  Do  not 
think  I  donH  love  you  because  I  scold  you  ;  if 
I  did  not  love  you  so  much,  I  should  not  take 
that  trouble  with  you.'  She  never  would  allow 
the  smallest  fault  to  go  unreproved.  If  ever 
she  made  a  mistake  (she  would  not  have  been 
human  had  she  not  done  so  sometimes),  she 
would  come  and  beg  our  pardon,  as  if  we  had 
been  over  her,  instead  of  her  over  us.     It  has 


LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE.  33I 

often  surprised  me,  the  thought  she  had  for 
all.  There  seemed  not  one  forgotten.  If  there 
were  several  of  us  sick,  she  would  go  into 
the  wards  as  usual  and  be  busy  with  her  work, 
but  she  would  not  forget  to  keep  running 
down  to  see  if  the  invalids  were  having  all  they 
required.  Often,  if  she  had  nurses  on  duty  she 
did  not  think  quite  up  to  their  work,  she  would 
get  up  and  go  through  the  wards  several  times 
in  the  night.  She  was  so  anxious  always  to 
bear  burdens  for  us.  I  have  often  told  her 
that  I  believed  we  were  a  hindrance  to  her ; 
for  instead  of  holding  up  her  hands,  we  were 
hanging  on  her,  and  bearing  her  down.  She 
was  so  fond  of  bearing  our  troubles  for  us,  as 
far  as  it  was  possible,  and  I  think  she  fell  under 
the  burden  of  them.  If  she  had  brought  us  a 
letter  in  the  morning,  and  saw  us  afterwards 
looking  sad,  she  would  take  hold  of  our  hand 
so  affectionately,  and  say,  '  I  hope  you  have 
not  had  bad  news,  child.'  If  she  thought  one 
looked  ill,  she  would  say,  '  You  are  not  well,' 
or,  '  You  look  tired,  child.'  If  we  went  to  her 
in  trouble,  we  could  not  come  away  from  her 


332  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

with  the  same  feeling  we  went  in  with  ;  she 
would  always  take  the  opportunity  of  pointing 
us  to  the  Burden-bearer.  Often,  when  I  have 
gone  to  her  with  any  complaint,  or  something 
I  have  told  her  I  could  not  do^  she  would  say, 
*  Have  you  told  Jesus  so  ?'  There  lay  the 
secret  of  all  her  love  and  care  and  thoughtful- 
ness.  She  never  thought  she  had  made  a  sa- 
crifice in  coming  here,  as  she  said  she  had  never 
been  so  happy  in  her  life.  I  feel  it  will  be  the 
greatest  honour  the  Lord  can  confer  on  me,  if 
He  permits  me  to  finish  my  course  in  the  work 
she  loved  so  well.  I  fear  I  often  err  by  being 
impatient  to  wait  the  time  till  I  shall  see  her 
again." 

1866  dawned  amid  new  anxieties,  but  the 
trusting  heart  ever  turned  to  the  never-failing 
source  of  strength  and  comfort.  A  few  extracts 
from  her  journal  will  show  how  she  delighted 
to  trace  God's  loving  hand  in  the  little  plea- 
sures which  now^  and  then  came  to  cheer  dark 
and  lonely  days.  Her  delight  in  flowers  was 
very  great,  and  many  times  did  she  learn  a 
lesson  from  these  silent  preachers.     The  kind 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  ;^:^;^ 

friends  who  from  time  to  time  sent  the  trea- 
sures of  their  gardens  and  greenhouses  to 
brighten  her  rooms,  will  find  in  the  day  when 
a  cup  of  cold  water,  given  to  one  of  Christ's 
little  ones,  is  remembered,  that  they  shall  in 
nowise  lose  their  reward.  To  a  friend  who 
was  very  dear  and  very  helpful  to  her,  she 
writes  : — 

''Your  lovely  flowers  have  been  telling  me 
all  evening  that  God  is  love,  and  that  He  loves 
me.  They  have  been  His  messenger  and  yours. 
They  seem  almost  too  pure  and  lovely  for  earth, 
and  yet  they  will  fade,  but  He  is  unchangeable. 
This  is  such  comfort.     I  could  not  tell  you  what 

''s  death  has  been  to    me,  and  I  scarcely 

knew  how  rebellious  I  was  against  Him  till  my 
flowers  told  me.  They  began,  '  He  careth  for 
you,'  and  taught  me  the  rest  of  the  \'erse.  I 
could  not  have  borne  even  from  you  the  flowers' 
soothing  and  sympathy,  for  I  could  not  tell  you 
all.  It  seemed  to  me  at  times  yesterday  as  if 
He  were  blowing  upon  my  work,  but  now  I 
think  it  is  not  mine,  but  His.  If  He  blow 
upon  my  part  of  it,  He  will  keep  His  own,  and 


334  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

He  put  me  here.  The  Psalm  last  night  at 
prayers  was  indeed  for  me, — Psalm  xxvii.  I 
have  not  learned  all  my  flov\^ers'  lesson  yet  ; 
but  when  I  am  busy,  I  think  of  them  as  dear 
friends  waiting  in  my  room  to  help  me." 

Again  : — "  I  have  had  such  delight  in  some 
mosses  and  fungi  Mrs.  James  Cropper  sent  me 
from  Kendal  in  a  little  box  by  post ;  they  are 
so  like  m^y  own  mountains,  as  well  as  so  lovely 
in  themselves.  I  wish  I  could  show  you  my 
saucer  of  beauties  ;  you  never  saw  a  more  per- 
fect little  collection  to  lie  on  half  this  sheet  of 
paper :  the  leaf  moss,  the  cup  moss,  a  few 
fronds  of  tiny  fern,  and  some  bright  fungi ;  so 
exquisite,  you  could  fancy  yourself  alone  on  the 
mountain-top  with  them.  I  have  had  some 
very  great  trials  as  well  as  pleasures  lately, 
but  I  was  trying  to  balance  to-day,  and  I  am 
sure  the  latter  preponderate.  Clouds  and  sun- 
shine so  alternate  in  my  life,  that  3'ou  could 
scarcely  sympathize  wdth  one  before  a  change 
comes.  I  have  now  more  than  a  hundred  at 
my  Sunday  class,  and  really  if  I  lift  my  eyes, 
their  earnest  looks  and  fixed  gaze  almost  over- 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  335 

come  me.  It  is  a  great  responsibility.  I  was 
SO  amused  at  the  old  men  the  other  day  call- 
ing themselves  my  children.  Many  of  the  pa- 
tients look  on  me  as  a  kind  of  house-surgeon. 
I  go  to  see  and  direct  the  dressings  with  the 
worst  cases,  and  sometimes  do  the  thing  my- 
self to  show  how.  The  other  day  a  man  asked 
me  to  come  every  day  and  dress  his  foot ;  it 
had  been  '  so  much  better  since  I  had  been  at 
it.'  I  have  a  reading  for  the  probationers  every 
week  on  medical  subjects,  but  it  is  a  great 
anxiety  to  me  to  think  how  little  they  know  as 
yet.  This  morning  I  have  been  much  with  a 
poor  d3'ing  thief  v/ho  is  in  the  agonies  of  lock- 
jaw. He  seems  to  try  to  pray,  and  to  like  me 
to  speak  to  him.  I  think  he  would  tell  me  his 
history  if  he  could  ;  but  speaking  is  difficult, 
and  the  paroxysms  come  so  frequently,  ^^'e 
have  all  great  enjoyment  in  the  Thursday  even- 
ing lectures  at  Hope  Hall.  Mr.  Lockhart 
is  so  earnest  and  simple.  On  Good  Friday  I 
read  aloud  in  the  evening  to  the  men  in  one 
of  the  wards,  and  they  seemed  to  enjoy  it  so 
much,   that    I   promised   them    an    hour  every 


336  LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE. 

Friday  evening  at  six.  Last  Sunday  I  gave 
them  a  lecture  on  swearing,  taking  Psalm  139, 
and  dwelling  on  the  verse,  *  Thine  enemies 
take  Thy  name  in  vain.'  Upwards  of  one  hun- 
dred were  present,  and  most  attentive." 
March  31st  she  wrote  to  my  aunt ; — 
"  Dearest  Aunt. — This  day  last  year  I  ar- 
rived in  Liverpool.  I  cannot  believe  it ;  time 
has  flown  and  yet  much  has  happened.  The  re- 
view is  one  of  a  varied  kind.  I  have  not  done  all 
I  hoped,  and  yet  my  brightest  visions  of  earthly 
success  have  been  more  than  realized.  While 
I  have  done  little  for  God,  He  has  made  my 
way  prosperous.  It  has  been  a  wonderfully 
smooth  way,  when  I  consider  all  there  was  to 
contend  against.  But  how  much  I  might  have 
done,  how  much  I  intended  to  do,  and  never 
even  attempted,  is  known  only  to  God.  I  be- 
lieve there  is  ground  for  my  justly  claiming 
man's  approval,  but  how  very  differently  would 
a  report  be  drawn  up  for  God's  work  here  ! 
Even  our  outward  work  is  not  all  it  ought  to 
be ;  but,  as  I  said  before,  there  is  much  cause 
for  thankfulness.    There  is  a  wide  field  for  use- 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  337 

fulness  and  need  for  sympathy  around  me ;  in 
this  respect  the  castles  built  last  year  are  in 
ruins  now.  The  materials  still  lie  scattered 
around,  save  what  has  mouldered  away  while 
awaiting  the  worker.  I  am  sure  I  ought  to 
make  more  time  for  the  only  lasting  work. 
Sunday  work  is  all  that  consecrates  and  re- 
deems my  work  from  being  wholly  worldly.  I 
often  wonder  if  you  will  see  me  changed  when 
you  come — an  old  mother  with  nearly  six  hun- 
dred children.  How  many  to  present  to  the 
Giver  ?    Only  one  that  I  know  of  .  .  . 

**  Your  own  loving 

"  Agnes." 

**  May  2nd. — The  last  fortnight  every  care 
has  been  lessened  by  the  thought  of  a  week 
with  mother  and  J.  in  Dublin.  It  has  seemed 
to  me  a  lesson  of  what  the  Christian's  hope 
ought  to  be — powerful  in  making  all  present 
trial  light." 

"  May  8lh,  1866.— To-day  and  yesterday  the 
prospect  of  leaving  seemed  most  uncertain.  A 
cholera  case  was  brought  in,  for  which  we  had 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 


to  clear  No.  4  Medical  Ward.  Notice  was 
given  that  more  were  expected.  The  first 
case  was  a  Dane  emigrating  with  wife,  baby, 
two  little  children,  and  a  boy  of  nine.  He 
died  last  night,  and  the  poor  widow  is  sad 
indeed." 

**May  10th. — Notice  yesterday  to  clear  an- 
other ward,  and  before  night  we  had  the  wife 
and  children  of  Petersen  the  Dane,  two  Dutch- 
men with  their  wives,  babies,  and  four  other 
children,  and  a  poor  man  whose  wife  died  here 
of  cholera,  with  an  infant  and  two  little  chil- 
dren under  five.  He  is  in  great  distress,  as  is 
also  the  other  father,  whose  child  died ;  the 
meeting  between  husband  and  wife  was  most 
affecting.  He  was  so  grateful  for  a  little  milk 
for  the  children.  To-day  all  sat  round  the 
table  for  dinner,  but  none  would  begin  till  the 
father  asked  a  blessing." 

**  Last  week  we  had  two  cases  brought  in 
by  the  police,  who  visited  occasionally  day  and 
night  to  see  how  they  got  on.  One  man  said 
he  Vv^as  so  surprised  to  see  so  many  young  wo- 
men about ;  '  for  indeed   I  must  sa^-  they're  a 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  339 

rough  lot  you've  got  in  here ;  many  of  them  are 
well  known  to  us.'  A  pickpocket  with  £^  on 
him,  was  brought  in  last  night,  known  by  his 
coat,  the  pockets  being  so  made  that  his  hands 
seem  to  be  in  them  when  they  are  in  reality 
engaged  in  stealing." 

A  few  days  later  Agnes  was  able  to  leave 
Liverpool,  and  join  us  in  Dublin.  Much  as 
she  required  rest  and  change  after  a  year  of 
such  continued  strain  on  mind  and  body,  no 
personal  consideration  would  have  induced  her 
to  take  a  holiday,  but  my  mother's  health  ren- 
dered it  necessary  that  she  should  try  German 
baths  in  the  summer,  and  the  doctors  wished 
her  also  to  winter  abroad.  We  were  therefore 
most  anxious  to  see  Agnes,  and  under  these 
circumstances  she  consented  to  come.  She  ar- 
rived at  midnight  on  Friday,  and  returned  to 
Liverpool  the  Monday  week  following.  My 
mother  wished  that  she  should  have  as  com- 
plete a  change  as  possible,  and  therefore  pro- 
posed that  Agnes  and  I  should  spend  a  few 
days  at  Killarney,  though  it  was  rather  early 
in  the  season ;  we  started  on  the  Monday  after 

z  3 


340  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

her  arrival,  and  returned  to  Dublin  on  Thurs- 
day. The  day  after  we  reached  Killarney  was 
one  of  incessant  rain,  and  any  excursion  was 
out  of  the  question.  In  the  afternoon,  how- 
ever, we  put  on  our  waterproof  cloaks,  and  set 
out  on  an  exploring  expedition  to  the  beautiful 
demesne  of  Muckross  Abbey.  Mountains,  lake, 
and  sky  were  alike  veiled  in  heavy  mists  of  rain, 
and  to  me  the  scene  was  cheerless  enough,  but 
Agnes  was  in  raptures  ;  every  graceful  tree  or 
picturesque  rock  she  paused  to  admire,  and  be- 
fore one  bank  of  fern  and  wild  flowers  she  stood 
long  in  silent  delight ;  then  turning  to  me,  "  Oh ! 
what  would  I  give  to  take  that  back  with  me 
to  Liverpool ;  what  a  treasure  it  would  be  to 
have  anything  so  lovely  to  look  at !"  The  next 
day  was  bright  and  clear,  and  greatly  did  she 
enjoy  the  drive  to  the  head  of  the  lakes,  and 
the  return  in  the  boat  among  the  wondrous  and 
varied  beauty  of  that  enchanting  scenery.  Yet 
the  full  enjoyment  of  her  visit  was  somewhat 
damped  by  her  anxiety  as  to  the  spread  of  cho- 
lera in  Liverpool ;  and  though  she  had  daily 
letters  to  assure  her  that  there  was  no  cause 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  34I 

for  uneasiness,  she  was  hourly  expecting  a  pos- 
sible recall.  She  looked  so  bright  and  well, 
that  we  felt  relieved  about  her  health  suffering 
from  her  exertions,  and  her  characteristic  unself- 
ishness made  her  at  all  times  conceal  from  us 
the  frequent  headaches  and  weariness  which 
often  made  exertion  so  difficult,  and  her  much- 
loved  work  a  burden. 

The  first  entry  in  her  journal  after  her  re- 
turn is  as  follows  : — 

"  May  iSth. — This  day  last  year  we  began 
our  work.  It  has  been  indeed  a  year  of  mer- 
cies, and  its  review  with  the  only  record  I  can 
make,  '  Hitherto  hath  the  Lord  helped,'  leads 
to  the  resolve  '  I  will  trust  and  not  be  afraid.' 
St.  Paul's  list  of  the  results  of  trial  has  been 
much  on  my  mind.  Patience  is  the  first  link 
in  the  chain,  and  yet  I  fear  it  is  a  lesson  still 
unlearned.  How  I  feel  the  need  of  patience  ! 
The  two  following  links  I  seem  to  know  more 
of — '  Experience  '  and  *  Hope.'  How  wonder- 
tully  I  have  been  helped  !  God's  watchful  care 
so  marking  just  what  I  was  able  to  bear,  and 
I  seem  to  have  been  able  to  trust  Him  more 


342         LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE. 

fhe  last  few  daj's,  and  truty  I  have  not  been 
disappointed  in  my  hope.  One  great  comfort 
I  have  had  in  all  my  trials  since  coming  here 
has  failed  me  now  ;  it  was,  like  Jonah's  gourd, 
most  refreshing  shade  in  the  heat  of  many  a 
fiery  sorrow.  My  gourd  is  withered  now.  I 
must  seek  more  to  the  Rock.  The  fig-tree  does 
not  blossom,  many  another  resource  fails ;  I 
must  therefore  only  rejoice  in  the  Lord,  and 
stay  on  and  joy  in  the  God  of  my  salvation." 

"  May  ^ist. — God  sent  me  a  great  pleasure  to- 
day. A  little  Polish  Jew  was  dying.  We  could 
not  find  his  mother  when  we  sent  for  her,  but 
to-day  she  came.  As  I  passed  through  the 
ward  I  stopped  as  usual  at  his  bed,  for  he 
seemed  always  to  look  for  a  word ;  and  then 
told  her  she  might  stay  with  him  all  night,  as 
he  was  so  near  death.  She  took  my  hand  and 
seemed  so  to  crave  for  sympathy.  Not  long 
after,  I  returned,  and  found  the  screen  round 
the  bed  :  he  was  just  gone.  She  made  me  go 
inside  with  her,  and  so  clung  to  me,  I  could 
not  leave  her  until  she  went  away.  Her  grati- 
tude was  most  touching ;  she  kissed  my  hand 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 


343 


and  said  she  would  pray  for  me,  for  the  Scrip- 
tures promised  blessing  to  those  who  were  kind 
to  the  Jews." 

''June  2nd.— I  must   give  you  some   of  my 
brighter  scenes.     A  poor   man  who    has  long^ 
been  with  us,  has  been   in  a  dying  state   for 
days,   and  often  wished  me  to  come  and  talk 
to  him.     He  has  been  long  a  Christian.    When 
I  went  to  him  to-day  I  thought  he  was  asleep, 
but  he  sent  for  me,  if  I  could  spare  a  moment. 
He  wanted  help  to  keep  his  eyes  fixed  on  Jesus. 
As  I  sat  by  him,  his  eyes  closed,  and  he  seemed 
to  sleep.     I  repeated  a  verse  from  time  to  time, 
and  the  last  stupor  came  on  after  he  had  told  me 
he  could  indeed  trust  His  Saviour.     So  you  see 
all  is  not  work.    Is  not  God  loving  to  send  me  to 
speak  of  Himself  when  I  was  overwhelmed  with 
much  serving  ?     It  was  as  if  He  had  taken  me 
those  few  moments  aside  to  sit  at  His  feet." 

''June  6//^.— Troubles  and  difficulties  and 
perplexities  seem  to  multiply,  but  '  my  God 
thinketh  upon  me.'  I  try  to  trust  Him  with 
the  future,  and  He  gives  me  work  for  Him — 
cups  of  water  to  hand  to  His  dying  ones,  which 


344         LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE. 

He  will  remember  long  after  I  and  all  my  short- 
comings here  are  forgotten.  There  is  one  poor 
man  who  looks  for  me  daily,  and  folds  his 
hands  for  prayer  when  he  sees  me.  He  cannot 
speak,  but  T  take  it  as  a  sign  that  he  wants  a 
word  about  Jesus.  Should  not  such  work  make 
all  else  light  ?  It  is  such  a  privilege  to  be  al- 
lowed to  help  on  one  whom  Jesus  loves." 

''July  1st. — Thursday's  Committee,  before 
which  I  was  for  an  hour  and  a  half,  tried  me 
much.  I  feel  so  alone  with  no  adviser.  It  must 
send  me  more  to  God,  the  wonderful  Counseller. 
I  slip  over  smooth  surfaces  away  from  Him  : 
the  rugged  path  makes  me  ask  His  hand." 

"  Jidy  Sth. — Weary — weary.  I  seem  to  un- 
derstand the  word  now,  for  I  am  weary  mind 
and  body.  I  have  been  trying  to  use  it  as  a 
plea,  and  to  accept  the  invitations  to  the  weaiy, 
and  have  been  selecting  the  passages  with  the 
word.  Isaiah  xxxii.  2.  '  As  the  shadow  of  a 
great  rock  in  a  weary  land.  Isaiah  xl.  28. 
*  The  Lord  fainteth  not,  neither  is  weary.* 
Verse  31.  *  They  that  wait  on  the  Lord  .  .  . 
shall  not  be  weary.'     Isaiah  1.  4.     *  To  speak  a 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  345 

word  in  season  to  him  that  is  weary.'  Is 
this  part  of  my  lesson,  the  part  that  concerns 
others  ?  *  For  myself,  it  is  to  send  me  to  God 
Himself.'  Jeremiah  xxxi.  25.  *  I  have  satis- 
fied the  weary  soul.  The  promise  and  the  ex- 
hortation.' Galatians  vi.  7.  *  Let  us  not  be 
weary  in  well  doing,  for  in  due  season,'  in  His 
good  time,  *  we  shall  reap,  if  we  faint  not.' 
Judges  viii.  4.  *  Weary  yet  pursuing.'  But  what 
helped  me  most  was  John  iv.  16.  *  Jesus  being 
wearied.'  Hebrews  xii.  3.  *  Consider  Him  that 
endureth  such  contradiction  of  sinners  against 
Himself,  lest  ye  be  weary  and  faint  in  your 
minds.'  2  Corinthians  xi.  27.  Paul  brings  in 
weariness  in  his  long  list.  How  much  trial  he 
had  which  I  have  not  !  and  yet  to  me  as  to  him 
is  the  word,  *  My  grace  is  sufficient  for  me. 
My  grace  is  made  perfect  in  weakness.'  I  have 
that  title.  What  are  my  trials  and  weariness 
to  what  Christ  endured  ?  Oh  !  if  all  this  will 
but  make  me  shelter  more  in  Him  Who  has 
fulness  of  sympathy  for  all.  I  may  come  to 
that  source  and  draw  on  it  for  ever." 

*'  August  izth. — Yesterday  I  spent  at  Poulton 


34^  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

Hall.  I  went  there  at  eleven  and  did  not  return 
till  seven.  Much  enjoyed  the  entire  change,  get- 
ting completely  into  the  country  ;  but  this  even- 
ing I  had  a  far  more  cheering  sight.  A  large 
number  were  collected  at  my  Bible  reading, 
and  as  we  sang  '  Rock  of  Ages,'  A.  and  B.  joining 
in  almost  overpowered  me.  True,  it  was  but 
outward,  yet  it  is  a  step.  Those  mouths,  once 
so  full  of  cursing,  those  men  noted  as  bad,  even 
in  this  wicked  place,  now  singing  God's  praises. 
No,  I  have  not  spent  my  strength  for  nought." 
"  The  Old  Testament  characters  which  I  am 
going  through  with  my  class  much  interest  me. 
There  seems  such  wonderful  home-teaching  and 
experience,  the  very  same  every-day  tempta- 
tions, trials,  and  difficulties  that  I  know. 
Isaac's  history  to-day  ;  no  great  incident,  but  so 
like  me.  God  promised  and  gave  great  help, 
safety  from  famine  and  yet  Isaac  could  not 
trust  Him  in  the  little  thing  of  keeping  him  and 
his  wife.  Placing  great  things  in  God's  hand 
and  tr3dng  to  manoeuvre  ourselves  for  the  lesser  ; 
making  Him  our  God  and  not  our  Father, — is 
it  not  too  often  so  ?    Again,  Isaac  was  tried  by 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.  347 

the  claims  of  others  to  what  he  felt  his  right. 
He  and  his  father  digged  wells  ;  theirs  was  the 
labour,  and  was  not  the  land  theirs  by  promise  ? 
What  a  trial  to  faith  when  one  and  another  was 
claimed,  and  yet  were  not  his  patience  and  for- 
bearance rewarded  ?  Was  it  not  in  this  his 
enemies  saw  that  God  was  with  him,  helping 
him  to  bear  ?  Then  his  gratitude  when  God 
gave  him  a  well.  He  would  not  suffer  his 
servant  to  be  tried  too  long,  a  promise  that  seems 
just  for  me, — tarry,  wait  for  it,  it  will  surely 
come.  Then  God  renews  His  covenant,  not  as 
Isaac's  but  as  Abraham's  God.  How  much 
surer,  not  with  Isaac,  or  he  might  doubt  whether 
God  were  only  his  God  while  he  was  faithful.  So 
are  the  promises  '  all  yea  and  amen  in  Christ,' 
and  we  are  '  heirs  of  God  and  joint-heirs  with 
Christ.'  The  strong  lesson  is  this,  the  testi- 
mony to  Isaac's  walk;  to  us  it  appears  incon- 
sistent, but  his  enemies  acknowledged  God  was 
with  him.  We  as  disciples  want  men  to  take 
knowledge  of  us  that  we  have  been  with  Jesus. 
What  was  Isaac's  secret  ?  We  read  of  his  me- 
ditating in  the  fields  at  eventide  ;  in  the  entan- 


348  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

glement  of  his  thoughts  within  him.  Joshua  i. 
8,  seems  very  similar.  God  made  a  promise 
to  him.  He  would  be  with  him.  He  com- 
mands him  to  meditate  in  His  law,  and  if 
he  does  so  God^s  presence  with  him  should  be 
recognized  by  others.  We  see  again  with 
Moses.  First  we  have  Exodus  xxiv.,  he  and 
others  seeing  much  of  God's  glory.  In  the  33rd 
chapter  he  prays  *  Show  me  Thy  glory.'  In  the 
34th  comes  the  answer,  *  I  will  make  all  My 
goodness  pass  before  thee  ;'  and  we  have  a  reve- 
lation of  God's  character,  and  then  follow  the 
second  forty  days  on  the  Mount,  and  the  mar- 
vellous result  of  the  face  shining.  '  Let  your 
light  so  shine  before  men.'  The  same  process 
is  needed.  We  know  of  God's  glory,  His  power. 
We  need  to  know  more  of  His  love,  to  know 
Him  as  our  Father,  and  then  there  w^ill  be  such 
close  and  constant  communion  that  men  will 
see  we  have  been  with  Jesus,  in  spite  of  our 
inconsistencies." 

"  December  11th,  1866. — I  have  felt  very  much 
to-day  a  patient's  death.  He  has  been  a  great 
interest  to  me  lately,  though  I  could  not  make 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  349 

time  to  read  to  him  often,  and  he  never  was 
sure  of  me  but  on  Sunday.  It  must  have 
been  about  a  year  ago  that  I  first  noticed  him, 
and  I  believe  God  taught  me  to  teach  him  ;  he 
greatly  delighted  in  my  going  to  read  and  pray 
with  him.  He  was  suffering  from  aneurism, 
and  greatly  dreaded  the  death  from  it,  and  I  too 
feared  it  for  him.  Such  a  timid  fearful  disposi- 
tion  as  his  was.  He  could  not  speak  loud,  and 
seldom  tried  to  speak  to  me,  but  as  I  read  and 
talked  to  him  I  used  to  see  the  quiet  tears 
streaming  down,  and  of  late,  his  look  and  pres- 
sure of  my  hand  told  his  loving  gratitude.  He 
never  would  allow  me  to  be  sent  for,  even  when 
he  longed  for  me,  but  he  told  the  nurse,  *  the 
lady  can  never  know  what  she  has  done  for  me.' 
On  Saturday  he  said, '  Oh,  nurse,  I  wish  no  one 
but  you  ever  came  near  me,  no  doctor,  no  one.' 
*  Not  even  the  lady  ?'  she  asked.  '  Oh,  the 
lady,  oh  yes  !  I  think  I  am  in  heaven  when  she 
comes.'  Last  night  I  was  very  weary,  and  my 
voice  all  but  gone,  but  I  am  so  glad  I  did  not 
yield  to  the  disinclination  to  go  to  him.  I  told 
him  much  of  the  promises  of  Christ's  help  and 


350  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

presence,  as  I  knew  he  so  feared  death,  and 
even  as  I  spoke,  I  dreaded  the  last  struggle  for 
the  poor  timid  one.  I  gave  him  the  draught  I 
alwa3^s  prepare  for  him  earlier  than  usual,  and 
when  I  passed  on  my  night  rounds  he  seemed 
under  its  influence.  To-day  I  saw  him  when  I 
went  up  at  6  a.m.,  I  stood  beside  him,  but  did 
not  speak  as  his  breathing  was  oppressed.  On 
fmishing  my  rounds  as  I  was  ringing  for 
prayers,  the  nurse  ran  in — *  Taylor  is  dead.'  I 
cannot  tell  you  the  overwhelming  feeling  of 
God's  faithfulness  and  loving  care  for  His  weak 
ones,  letting  him  go  off  so  quietly." 

I  cannot  exactly  ascertain  the  date  of  the 
follov/ing  letter,  but  the  visits  of  the  Kirkdale 
training-school  girls  took  place,  I  think,  every 
three  months,  and  for  the  first  year  and  a  half  it 
was  her  delight  to  provide  some  little  feast  or 
amusement  for  them  on  this  occasion  ;  it  was  a 
great  sorrow  to  her  when  their  quarterly  holiday 
was  put  a  stop  to. 

*'  We  had  all  the  Kirkdale  Training  School 
girls  here  yesterday,  thirty-five  girls,  who 
always  seem  so  grateful  and  well-behaved,  and 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  35I 

really  their  greetings  when  they  arrive  are  quite 
affectionate.  Those  who  have  friends  here  go 
to  see  them  in  various  parts  of  the  building,  and 
those  w^ho  have  not,  come  to  our  sitting-room 
and  look  at  pictures,  etc.  When  the  tea  was 
laid,  I  read  them  a  story  while  the  rest  were 
gathering.  The  table  was  laid  out  with  flowers, 
bread-and-butter,  rhubarb  tarts,  and  pots  of 
jam,  a  large  basket  of  cut  currant  cake  at  the  top, 
and  several  plates  of  sweet  biscuits.  After  the 
feast  they  went  to  play  while  we  were  at  tea. 
The  day  had  been  wet  and  gloomy,  but  cleared 
up,  and  our  yard  was  dry  for  games,  so  all  went 
there  ;  and  as  it  was  very  mild  I  sent  for  all  the 
ward  children,  and  we  had  twenty  ranged 
against  the  wall,  fourteen  in  blankets  ;  these 
and  some  elder  boys  and  the  patients  who 
crowded  at  the  windows  watched  the  games. 
They  went  away  at  6.30,  each  with  a  nosegay 
of  flowers,  which  so  delighted  them. 

"  January  ^th,    1867. — Last    night   I    had    a 
letter   from   Fahan,   telling   me   of   old   Nancy 


's  death.     I  often  think  of  the  change  it  is 

for  the  poor  friendless,  poverty-stricken   ones, 
though  great  and  glorious  it  is  even  for  a  king. 


352  LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE. 

Dear,  dear  old  Nancy,  how  often  the  thought  of 
her  prayers  for  me  and  my  work  at  Fahan 
helped  me  on  !" 

She  thus  alludes  to  this  same  death  in  her 
journal.  "  It  is  indeed  a  change,  a  going  home  ; 
when  shall  I  be  there  ?  I  am  not  weary  of  work 
or  life  yet ;  I  want  to  do  more  for  Jesus  first. 
The  very,  very  few  happy  deaths  here  are  great 
help  and  comfort  to  me." 

*'  Febrtmry  ist, — To-day  I  was  thinking  much 
of  the  poor  infirm  patients,  who  have  much  to 
try  them.  It  is  a  marvel  they  are  so  quiet  and 
forbearing ;  one  poor  young  man  told  me  so 
sadly  that  he  was  often  so  irritable,  he  could 
scarcely  bear  himself,  and  he  was  sure  at  times 
others  could  scarcely  bear  him.  He  was  a 
painter,  and  five  years  since,  he  and  some  others 
fell  from  a  scaftolding;  some  were  killed,  he 
injured  his  back,  and  has  suftering  which  must 
be  life-long  in  head  and  spine ;  besides  he  is 
fast  losing  his  sight.  He  said,  '  It  is  not  as  if 
I  were  an  old  man.'  I  have  begun  daily  even- 
ing Bible  readings,  which  are  such  a  watering 
of  my  own  soul  that  I  trust  to  be  able  to  con- 
tinue them.'* 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.         353 


"  21st. — Few  know  all  we  have  to  contend 
with  here,  the  sin  and  wickedness,  the  evils  so 
hard  to  check,  the  struggle  to  keep  any  order 
or  rule  enforced,  the  drudgery  and  the  thank- 
lessness.  We  have  here,  not  only  the  trials  of 
hospital  work  but  also  of  a  reformatory,  into 
which  men  are  thrust  against  their  will,  and 
against  all  the  rules  of  which  they  kick.  You 
give  a  man  a  pint  of  porter  to  drink,  and  stand 
by  to  see  it  swallowed  ;  a  confederate  speaks  to 
you,  and  while  your  eye  is  for  a  moment  re- 
moved the  full  can  is  put  behind  the  back  and 
another,  provided  on  purpose,  substituted.  You 
order  them  to  table  to  their  meals,  they  go  to 
it,  and  the  moment  your  back  is  turned  they 
return  to  the  fireside  bench  ;  so  with  pipes,  etc. 
It  is  not  the  uphill  work  of  the  first  start  that 
tries  one,  but  the  month  after  month,  year  after 
year  of  the  same  discouragements ;  the  feeling 
that  if  you  relax  your  vigilance  for  a  few  days 
all  goes  back.  Sometimes  this  seems  like  the 
land  no  man  careth  for,  and  yet  God  sends  His 
dew.  His  love  is  ever  as  the  sun  shining  out 
from  behind  the  darkest  cloud.'* 

2  A 


354  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

**  February  ^ih,  1867.  —  In  the  desperate 
weather  when  the  people  were  said  to  be  starv- 
ing, and  we  were  almost  left  without  bread, 
while  bakers  were  busy  day  and  night  for  those 
outside  the  walls,  I  was  one  day  coming  in  at 
the  gate  and  admiring  the  beautiful  bread  and 
plentiful  supply,  when,  just  because  a  bit  of 
crust  was  burned, — I  should  have  liked  it  to 
eat, — a  woman  began  railing  against  the  food 
provided.  So  is  it  often  with  our  patients, — 
there  have  been  some  fearful  scenes  in  the 
oakum  sheds  lately,  rivalling  the  prison 
matron's  revelations.  You  remember  our  visit 
there  and  the  woman  who  accompanied  us.  On 
Saturday  the  women  in  the  sheds  attacked  her, 
threw  her  down,  tried  to  run  hairpins  into 
her  eyes,  and  when  assistance  arrived  were 
pounding  her  all  over.  She  had  made  herself 
unpopular ;  and  an  active  part  she  had  taken  in 
the  seizure  of  a  woman  who  had  attacked  her 
fellow-officer  the  day  before,  was  the  cause  of 
this ;  and  one  woman  who  ventured  to  say  it 
was  a  shame,  was  severely  beaten.  We  are 
expecting  the  death  of   another  female  officer 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.         355 

who  was  attacked  by  a  girl,  thrown  down  and 
scratched ;  it  did  not  seem  serious,  but  the 
shock  to  her  system  made  the  wound  inflame, 
erysipelas  has  ensued,  and  she  is  dangerously 
ill.  We  need  not  complain,  for  we  scarcely  ever 
get  hard  words,  much  less  blows.  More  and 
more  I  come  to  the  belief  that  these  large  in- 
stitutions grouping  together  such  numbers,  are 
the  ruin  of  the  inhabitants.  One  would  blush 
to  tell  the  knowledge  and  practice  of  the  vilest 
sins  among  the  children ;  girls  of  seven  es- 
caping, to  be  brought  back  from  the  vilest 
houses.  On  Wednesday  we  had  a  patient 
brought  in  who  had  gone  out  well  a  few 
weeks  ago  ;  he  looked  more  like  a  wild  beast 
than  a  man,  he  said  he  had  not  had  his  clothes 
off  for  three  weeks,  nor  '  seen  his  legs,'  deeply 
ulcered  as  they  are.  He  had  been  drinking 
freely,  and  was  on  the  verge  of  delirium 
tremens,  of  which  he  died  that  night.  I  some- 
times wonder  if  there  is  a  worse  place  on  the 
earth  than  Liverpool,  and  I  am  sure  its  work- 
house is  burdened  with  a  large  proportion  of  its 
vilest.     I  can  only  compare  it  to  Sodom,   and 

2  A  2 


356         LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE. 

wonder  how  God  stays  His  hand  from  smiting. 
Then,  so  little  effort  is  made  to  stem  the  evil. 
All  lie  passive,  and  seem  to  say  it  must  be. 
The  attempt  at  introducing  trained  workers  has 
certainly  not  met  with  any  sympathy  from 
clergy  or  laity.  In  the  nearly  ended  two  years 
of  our  work,  how  few  have  ever  come  for  the 
work's  sake  to  wish  us  God-speed  in  it !  I  do 
not  mean  to  say  that  I  am  discouraged.  I 
believe  we  have  had  the  blessing  of  the  poor;  I 
never  regret  coming  and  I  never  wish  to  give 
it  up." 

"26fh. — I  went  over  toClaughton  on  Saturday, 
and  though  I  had  not  time  for  a  long  visit,  I 
much  enjoyed  it.  S.  and  E.  told  me  a  great 
deal  of  news,  and  it  was  pleasant  to  know  a 
little  of  friends  and  of  the  world  outside  these 
gates.  The  climax  of  my  enjoyment  was  the 
drive.  E.  kindly  ordered  the  phaeton  to  take 
me  down  to  the  boat.  We  drove  first  up  above 
Hie  house  over  a  road  which  was  bordered  with 
heather  and  pines,  with  a  fine  view  of  the  sea. 
Had  the  view  been  clear  and  the  heather  in 
bloom,  I  think  I  should  have  been  wild  with 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  357 


delight ;  the  pleasure  even  of  the  dark  burnt 
heather  and  murky  view  was  so  great.  It  blew 
away  many  cobwebs,  and  so  I  returned  to  my 
work  wonderfully  brightened  up." 

Few  ever  enjoyed  nature  so  thoroughly  as 
Agnes  did,  and  the  rest  and  refreshment  of  a 
day  in  the  country  always  gave  her  new  vigour. 
Many  friends  in  the  neighbourhood  of  Liver- 
pool urged  her  coming  frequently  to  their 
country-places,  especially  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Rath- 
bone  of  Greenbank,  and  Mr.  and  Mrs.  W. 
Rathbone,  whose  continued  kindness  and 
thoughtfulness  in  procuring  her  comforts  she 
would  never  have  got  for  herself,  were  among 
the  many  blessings  which  she  so  often  alludes 
to  as  reminders  of  God's  loving  care ; —  too 
seldom  did  she  avail  herself  of  their  repeated 
invitations  to  breathe  a  purer  air  for  a  few 
hours,  and  rest  from  her  work,  and  only  at  Mr. 
Cropper's,  where  she  generally  went  for  an  hour 
or  two  on  Saturday,  did  she  allow  herself  the 
recreation  which  was  so  essential  for  her. 

On  the  7th  March,  1867,  the  sub-committee 
of  the  Workhouse  Committee  presented  a  re- 


358         LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE. 

port  on  the  working  of  the  system  of  trained 
nurses.  This  was  so  favourable  to  their  em- 
ployment, that  the  vestry  determined  to  adopt 
the  system  as  a  permanent  one,  extending  it  lo 
the  whole  of  the  Workhouse  Infirmary  a  year 
before  the  period  fixed  for  the  trial  of  the  ex- 
periment had  expired.  Mr.  Rathbone  sent  her 
a  copy  of  the  report  with  the  following  note  : — • 

"  I  send  you  the  Committee's  masterly  re- 
port; it  could  not  have  been  better  done  to  do 
as  wide-spread  good  as  possible.  It  will 
strengthen  Miss  Nightingale's  hands  and  re- 
joice her  heart.  The  success  would  have  been 
impossible  had  it  not  been  for  your  cheerful 
firmness  and  faith.  I  do  most  warmly  congra- 
tulate you  on  having  been  so  faithful  a  servant 
to  Him  to  Whom  you  look  in  a  work  so  truly 
His  own." 

April  yth,  she  writes  : — "  The  governor  took 
me  to  see  the  female  hospital,  my  new  dominion. 
It  was  much  more  extensive  than  I  expected, 
apparently  larger  than  this  ;  more  surface,  be- 
cause the  wards  are  only  at  one  side  of  the 
passages.     I  had  a  bright  death-bed  to-day  to 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.         359 

cheer  me ;  poor ,  though  at  one  time  he 

said,  '  I  am  in  such  agony  I  cannot  tell  you,' 
at  another  it  was,  'I  am  so  happy,  so  very 
happy,*  and  his  whole  face  beamed.  When  I  said 
he  would  soon  be  at  home,  he  so  brightened  up. 
*  Yes,  home,  home  with  Jesus, — I  want  to  be 
there  now,'  and  again  and  again  he  seemed  to 
return  to  the  thought  of  home.  An  old  man 
died  suddenly  this  morning  in  the  same  ward. 
I  knew  he  was  suffering  last  night,  and  was 
much  struck  by  his  quiet  peaceful  look.  His 
last  words  to  the  nurse  were  '  I  am  happy,  for 
He  said,  I  will  never  leave  thee.'  Earlier  in  the 
day  she  heard  him  say  to  another  patient,  *  Re- 
member what  the  Apostle  says.'  *  What  ?'  was 
asked.  *  All  things  work  together  for  good  to 
them  that  love  God,'  was  the  reply." 

*'  May  2^rd. — We  have  many  deaths  just  now; 
on  Friday  last  one  was  dying  during  our  meet- 
ing for  evening  prayer  ;  it  seemed  so   solemn. 

To-day  I  went  to  speak  to  old ,  in   the 

infirm  wards,  who  was  very  ill.  He  at  once 
took  my  hand  and  said,  '  I  want  to  take  leave 
of  you, — I  never  told  you  before,  but  do  you  re- 


S6o  LIVERPOOl     WORKHOUSE. 

member  speaking  of  the  "  gift  of  God  is  eternal 
life  through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord  ?"  I  got  that 
gift  then.  This  is  the  truth.  The  Lord 
strengthen  you,  and  may  you  live  more  and 
more  to  His  honour.'  He  spoke  much  more, 
quoting  many  texts,  and  though  at  times  half- 
wandering,  one  could  not  but  feel  his  anchor 
was  within  the  veil." 

"  Jime,  1867. — Yesterday  I  had  in  succes- 
sion the  committee,  the  matron,  the  store- 
keeper, the  governor,  and  clerk  of  works,  and 
had  a  busy  morning  explaining  the  size  I 
wished  the  sheets,  suggesting  improvements  in 
the  cut  of  the  shirts,  planning  closets  and  rooms, 
kitchen  arrangements,  etc.,  drawing  out  lists  of 
what  I  want  in  furniture  from  bed  and  bedding 
down  to  tea-spoons  for  my  new  party,  and  tables, 
chairs,  and  forms  for  the  wards.  I  have  been 
contrasting  that    one    death    so   stilling  all  at 

,  and  here  all  going  on  in  ordinar}^  routine 

with  seven  deaths  between  Sunday  night  and 
this  (Tuesday)  morning.  I  have  written  to  get 
another  grant  of  books,  or  rather  -^Tio  worth 
for  ;^5.     The  books  are  so  prized,  but  I  cannot 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  361 


rob  the  men's  hospital,  so  shall  not  have  any  to 
spare  for  the  female.  I  am  always  taking  away 
bad  literature,  so  I  want  to  provide  good,  which 
I  find  banishes  the  other." 

To  an  invalid  friend  to  whom  she  w^as  very 
much  attached,  she  writes  : — • 

''January  2^rd.  Dearest,— You  will  really 
think  I  have  forgotten  how  to  write,  and  now  I 
am  not  so  overworked,  but  when  I  have  not 
necessary  work  I  go  about  talking  to  the 
patients.  I  have  not  as  much  time  for  this  as 
I  should  like,  though  more  than  I  use  faith- 
fully. We  have  so  many  Roman  Catholics  and 
such  charges  of  partiality  to  Protestants,  I  often 
excuse  myself  from  more  than  the  usual  in- 
quiries for  health,  comfort,  etc.,  all  round  the 
ward,  only  giving  more  time  for  reading  to 
those  who  express  a  wish.  Since  the  com- 
mencement of  the  year  I  have  had  a  little  even- 
ing meeting  in  a  small  Protestant  ward.  It 
began  as  for  evening  prayers,  reading  a  chapter 
and  prayer,  but  at  the  men's  request  it  is  now 
a  Bible-reading  meeting.  The  men  of  the  ward 
take  a  great  interest  in  it,  set  the  table  and 


^62  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 


forms  in  order,  Bibles  and  hymn-books,  and 
generally  I  find  the  book  open  at  the  hymn  they 
want  to  sing.  Then  they  read  in  turns  the 
passages  I  refer  them  to,  and  explain  the  con- 
nection, and  end  our  half-hour  with  prayer.  It 
is  to  me  a  very  interesting  little  meeting  vary- 
ing from  twenty  to  thirty  ;  some  come  in  from 
other  wards.  Their  attention  and  interest  is 
great,  and  each  takes  his  part  so  well.  We  take 
John  iii.,  and  I  prepare  each  day  a  few  well- 
chosen  references.  The  men  wash  their  faces 
and  comb  their  hair  before  they  come,  no  small 
thing,  and  they  afterwards  tell  the  nurse  if  there 
is  not  as  large  a  number  as  usual  present.  It 
is  quite  their  own  meeting,  and  they  seem  to 
take  an  interest  in  it  as  such,  and  being  God's 
word  honoured,  I  look  for  a  blessing. 

"  I  have  several  times  thought  I  must  try  to 
give  you  sketches  for  your  tracts.  I  often  think 
of  '  She  hath  done  what  she  could,'  as  apply- 
ing to  the  power  of  the  least  talented  to  do 
good.  There  is  a  poor  deformed  cripple,  repul- 
sive in  appearance,  unable  to  speak  plainly,  and 
scarcely   able   to  walk  or  use  his  hands,  and 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  ^6$ 

scarcely  able  to  feed  himself.  He  is  in  a  ward 
of  bed-ridden  patients,  and  has  constituted  him- 
self their  pipe-lighter.  I  often  watch  and  ad- 
mire his  efforts  and  patience.  He  makes  an 
old  poker  red-hot,  and  they  having  filled  their 
pipes,  he  goes  first  to  one  and  puts  his  poker 
into  the  bowl,  the  man  whiffs  away,  Dick 
stands  patiently  watching,  by  a  strong  effort 
holding  his  shaking  hands  quiet  with  the  poker, 
or  laying  it  over  his  arm  ;  no  calls  Vv'ill  move 
him  till  the  pipe  he  earnestly  watches  is  quite 
alight,  then  he  moves  on.  Dick's  pains,  and 
the  attention  and  care  to  complete  one  duty  at 
a  time,  often  teach  me  a  useful  lesson.  I 
would  go  from  one  to  another,  perhaps  satisfied 
that  I  had  tried  to  help  them. 

*'  I  have  been  waiting  for  the  death  of  a  dear 
old  man  to  tell  you  of  a  very  interesting  con- 
versation I  had  with  him,  but  he  still  lives,  and 
I  must  tell  you  a  little.  Old  David  has  long 
been  a  great  favourite  with  us  all.  He  had 
been  a  carpenter,  and  whatever  was  required  in 
that  line  he  was  always  glad  to  do,  often  when 
almost    unable.      He  has  lately  been  very  ill. 


364  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

One  night  I  repeated  to  him  the  hymn  '  Begone 
unbelief,'  ending  '  And  then,  oh  how  joyful  the 
conqueror's  song  !' 

"  Next  day  he  told  me  that  these  last  words 
had  been  on  his  mind.  It  almost  seemed  as  if 
it  were  his,  that  *  conqueror's  song.' 

"  He  said,  Satan  had  tried  to  shake  his  faith 
and  trust.  '  But  I  said.  Lord,  I  am  weak, 
weak,  but  Thou  hast  said,  "  Get  thee  behind 
me,  Satan,"  and  in  Thy  power,  in  Thy  power,  I 
say  it  now.  And  then  I  saw  Jesus'  love  to  me. 
What  a  wonderful  thing  it  is  that  He  so  makes 
known  that  love  !  I  knew  it  before,  but  not  as 
since  last  night,  and  I  am  only  beginning  now 
to  know  it.  That  surpassing  love,  I  cannot  tell 
what  it  is.  It  is  infinite ;  and  what  is  infinite 
but  Jesus  ?  And  is  it  not  eternal  ?  Jesus  is  a 
Rock,  a  fixed  Rock  :  nothing  can  shake  Him, 
and  so  His  love  can  never  fail.  I  feel  now 
I  have  such  a  firm  grasp  of  that  love,  I  can 
never  again  let  it  go.  Only  His  love  made  it 
known  to  me.  His  Spirit  taught  me,  not  man, 
for  that  man  could  not  do.  I  so  thought  of  your 
words  when  I  felt  Satan  go,  and  that  love  laying 
hold  of  me.  Oh,howjoyful  the  conqueror's  song  1' 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  365 

''Dearest,  I  have  no  time  for  more. — Your 
own  Agnes." 

Another  letter  to  this  same  friend,  though 
not  written  from  Liverpool,  may  be  given 
here. 

"  My  writing  t.o  you  seems  almost  hopeless  ; 
good  intentions  are  so  often  frustrated.  Lately 
I  have  been  very,  very  busy  ;  now  there  is  a  lull. 
How  many  letters  of  yours  are  unacknowledged! 
and  yet  they  are  a  peculiar  pleasure  to  me,  for 
I  want  to  know  more  of  the  invalid's  trials  and 
pleasures,  as  I  often  regret  that  I  have  not  the 
sympathy  that  experience  alone  teaches.  Since 
your  last  I  have  heard  of  your  sufferings.  I  have 
lately  watched  two  lingering  restless  deathbeds, 
and  these  seem  to  give  such  force  to  the  as- 
surance, '  There  remaineth  rest ;  '  and  yet, 
though  of  both  I  had  hope,  I  longed  for  a  more 
sure  and  certain  hope.  Dearest,  I  need  your 
prayers.  My  present  position  is  most  difficult 
—  exposed  to  much  jealousy,  very  isolated, 
often  scarcely  a  moment  alone,  and  at  night 
feeling  every  spare  moment  must  be  given  to 
sleep,  as  often  I  have  to  watch  instead.     No 


366  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

religious  advantages  of  any  kind,  and  not  much 
teaching  when  I  can  go  to  Church,  besides 
being  shackled  in  every  v\^ay  by  those  wath 
whom  I  am  working.  But  withal,  I  can  feel  I 
am  of  use  to  some,  and  though  not  as  free  as 
I  should  wish  with  my  patients,  I  know  they 
cling  to  me  (many)  for  teaching  as  well  as 
nursing.  And  I  can  feel  how  this  discipline, 
though  not  what  I  should  have  chosen,  is  per- 
haps, indeed  must  be,  the  best  training  for  the 
difficult  but  important  position  to  which  God 
seems  to  be  calling  me.  Of  this  you  will  have 
heard.  Will  you  pray  much  for  me,  that  by  a 
fresh  baptism  of  the  Spirit,  I  may  go  to  that 
workj  making  mention  of  Christ's  righteous- 
ness only,  and  in  His  strength.  Much  is  hoped 
from  me,  and  I  feel  so  incapable,  I  can  only 
cast  all  on  God,  and  tell  Him  as  He  has 
chosen,  so  He  must  fit  me  for  the  work.  If  I 
succeed,  to  Him  must  be  all  the  glory ;  if  I 
fail,  may  it  not  bring  dishonour  to  His  cause. 
All  is  not  yet  decided,  so  I  am  not  yet  quite 
sure  of  the  position.  I  almost  dread  it,  and 
yet  I  cannot  ask  it  may  not  be  mine ;  so  it 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  367 

seems  as  if  I  must  lie  passive  in  His  hands. 
I  can  say,  *  Forget  not  all  His  benefits,'  for  so 
often  when  I  seem  unable  to  bear  more,  relief 
comes  ;  or  when  I  need  a  change  of  ideas — you 
know  what  that  is — something  comes.  In  my 
home  life,  which  people  used  to  consider  so 
monotonous,  I  never  knew  this  want ;  now,  not 
often,  and  then,  more  by  the  relief  than  the  felt 
need.  Of  God's  loving  tender  care  I  trust  we 
are  both  learning  deeper  lessons ;  that  un- 
changing love  which  seems  so  to  mark  every 
need,  and  supply  it,  answering  almost  before 
we  call.  It  often  makes  me  feel  how  much 
more  experience  should  work  in  us  hope,  and 
even  more  full  assurance,  but  I  at  least  am 
such  a  slow  learner.  How  blessed  that  He 
changes  not,  and  that  our  times  are  in  His 
hands!  May  we  grow  in  the  knowledge  of  His 
love. 

*'  Ever   your  affectionate    and   sympathizing 
friend, 

**  Agnes  E.  Jones." 

The  old  man  alluded  to  in  the  first  of  these 


368  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

two  letters  is  noticed  in  her  journal  about  the 
same  date.  He  did  not  die  until  July,  1868, 
five  months  after  she  who  had  cheered  his 
dying  pillow  had  herself  joined  in  the  rejoicing 
strains  of  the  "  conqueror's  song." 

"  Last  night  I  went  to  poor  old  David  Salis- 
bury, and  in  a  strong  earnest  voice  he  told  me 
of  all  the  joy  with  which  his  heart  was  filled 
in  the  experience  of  Christ's  love  to  him.  He 
then  went  off  to  speak  of  his  mother's  death. 
Her  last  words  were,  (she  could  scarcely  speak 
from  weakness,)  *  for  ever  and  for  ever.'  The 
night  before  she  died,  he  sat  up  with  her.  He 
had  been  reading,  but  dozed  off,  and  when  his 
father  woke  him,  he  said,  '  I  had  such  a  dream ; 
I  heard  the  words,  "  Give  her  the  remittance 
of  her  sins,  for  Jesus'  sake.'  To-day  he  said 
to  me,  '  I  am  so  glad  to  see  you ;  I  want  to  tell 
5^ou  He  is  my  Rock,  my  Refuge,  my  strong 
tower.  He  makes  known  His  love  to  me  more 
and  more.  Oh,  He  is  good,  good,  good.  Is 
He  not  love,  so  to  teach  me  of  His  love  ?  '  In 
the  evening  I  read  to  him  Rev.  vii.,  and  spoke 
to  him  of  the  wonderful  thought  of  how,  even 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  369 

in  heaven,  the  care  and  the  ministry  of  Father 
and  Son  for  the  sons  of  God  docs  not  end. 
*  The  Lamb  shall  lead  them  by  fountains  of 
water.'  God,  the  Father,  *  shall  wipe  away  all 
tears.'  And  then  I  went  back  to  the  first  be- 
ginning of  His  work  for  us.  We  sinners,  unfit 
for  heaven,  made  meet  for  the  inheritance  of 
the  saints  in  light.  He  said  he  should  not  last 
long.  I  said,  *  You  will  not  be  sorry  for  that, 
for  you  know  you  can  say,  "  For  me  to  live  is 
Christ,  to  die  is  gain."  "  Eye  hath  not  seen, 
nor  ear  heard,  neither  hath  it  entered  the  heart 
of  man  to  conceive  the  things  which  God  hath 
prepared  for  them  that  love  Him."  "  Jesus 
went  to  prepare  the  place.""  * 

**  Yet  there  seems  a  fear  of  the  last  struggle 
sometimes.  He  begs  for  prayer  with  him,  and 
bespeaks  my  coming,  and  yet  is  lovingly  careful 
to  add,  *  if  you  can  get  time.' 

*'  What  a  field  there  is  here  for  soul  work  ! 
David  S.  speaks  of  Satan  as  still  trying  him 
at  times.  *  He  catches  me  unawares,  but  it  is 
only  for  a  moment  ;  T  am  so  weak  :  "  Nothing 
in  my  hand  I  bring,  but  simply,  simply  to  Thy 

2  B 


370  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

cross  I  cling."  *  Then  I  could  hear  little  of 
many  muttered  words,  after  we  had  prayed  to- 
gether, except,  *  The  m.atchless  love  and  mercy 
of  God.'  *  Seek  ye  the  Lord  :  He  is  near,  very 
near.* 

**  It  is  no  mere  form  of  words  that  many 
patients  value  the  care  they  receive, — nev/  in- 
deed to  them.  A  very  old  man  said,  in  answer 
to  a  question,  '  I  never  had  a  friend  in  all  my 
life  till  I  came  here.  You  are  my  only  friend ; 
I  never  had  any  before.'  '* 

**  24th. — David  seems  to  be  sinking.  He  said 
to-day,  *  Oh  what  a  precious  Jesus — precious, 
precious  !'  And  when  I  said,  *  You  are  going 
home.'  *  Going  to  Him,  yet  I  will  wait  His 
time ;  I  will  not  ask  to  hasten  it ;  He  knows 
best.'  In  answer  to  my  inquiries  this  morn- 
ing, he  said,  *  Weaker  and  weaker,  but  nearer 
and  nearer :  it  is  £.  blessed  hope.'  *  Do  you 
want  anything  ?  '  *  Nothing  on  earth,  but  only 
His  will.  His  will.' 

"  How  often,  when  weighed  down  under  the 
sense  of  responsibility,  God  sends  me  work  to 
do  for  Him  !     To-night  I  stood  by  ^  deathbed. 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  371 

A  young  man  who  buried  his  wife  a  fortnight 
since,  and  came  here  to  die.  One  child  has 
also  gone ;  two  remain,  one  of  whom  is  dying. 
All  consumptive,  their  end  hastened  by  want. 
They  had  been  respectable  people, — he  earning, 
when  in  health,  ^200  a  year.  Much  was 
wasted  by  a  drunken  step-mother,  who  even 
pawned  for  drink  a  sheet  from  about  her 
daughter's  corpse.  Cole's  wife  died  trusting 
in  Jesus,  and  he  too  looked  to  Him.  I  scarcely 
believed  him  conscious  as  I  stood  by  him,  but 
I  repeated  in  the  dying  ear,  '  Yea,  though  I 
walk  through  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of 
death,  I  will  fear  no  evil,  for  Thou  art  with 
me.'  *  In  my  Father's  house  are  many  man- 
sions.' Here  he  interrupted  me.  '  Yes,  He 
my  Saviour.*  *  Shall  I  pray  ?'  I  asked.  He  put 
up  his  hands,  and  I  knelt  and  asked  Jesus  to 
be  very  near,  and  put  the  children  in  His  care. 
His  face  was  so  calm  and  peaceful  then,  and 
when  T  saw  him  next  in  his  coffin.  Oh,  what 
love  in  God,  to  let  me  with  all  my  unfaithful- 
ness give  a  cup  of  cold  water  to  His  disciples  !" 
**  October  22nd, — Our  new  wards  are  a  great 

S   B   3 


372  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

strain  at  present.  You  could  not  imagine  such 
a  set  of  women  as  the  mothers  of  the  sick 
babies.  They  have  nothing  to  do  but  nurse 
their  children,  and  they  will  scarcely  do  that. 
To  get  them  up  and  their  beds  made  is  a  task 
in  the  morning ;  and  then  to  get  the  beds  kept 
tidy  is  no  less  difficult,  as  they  get  in  and  out 
all  day.  Then  the  noise,  quarrelling,  dirt,  etc. 
There  is  a  little  improvement  already,  however. 
They  are  sj  astonished  at  having  nurses  who 
do  not  swear  at  them." 

*'  Decemher  j6th. — Christmas  preparations  for 
1400  people  keep  me  busy  ;  70  wards  to  adorn 
with  evergreens,  besides  the  nurses'  rooms. 
The  two  hospitals  are  so  far  apart  we  must 
have  two  Christmas-trees  this  year ;  and  as  I 
cannot  possibly  be  in  two  places  at  once,  I 
think  we  must  have  the  second  on  New  Year's 
Day.  Work  never  was  harder  than  now,  for 
great  changes,  are  going  on,  and  the  whole 
place  is  upset.  I  have  one  bright  spot,  how- 
ever. The  '  wild  beasts  '  I  told  you  of  in  our 
class  sick  nursery  mothers  are  taming  wonder- 
fully, and  I  hope  their  fights,  like  the  men's, 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  373 

will  soon  be  matters  of  past  history.  A  great 
many  children  die,  and  I  can  scarcely  be  sorry 
when  I  think  of  what  might  be ;  but  it  is  often 
sad  to  see  them  dying.  They  look  so  pretty  in 
their  little  coffins,  and  we  lay  them  out  very 
nicely." 

"  December  2yth,  1867. — Now  that  Christmas 
is  well  over  you  must  have  a  letter.  You  ought 
to  have  had  one  before,  but  it  was  really  im- 
possible, for  T  scarcely  know  how  mind  and 
body  stood  the  strain  and  anxiety.  Green- 
bank  and  Ardmore  contributed  evergreens ; 
Mr.  Rathbone  and  Emily  sent  me  oranges, 
apples,  and  money.  So  I  had  kindly  help. 
The  putting  all  together,  supplying  the  innu- 
merable wants,  planning  the  nurses*  supper, 
the  trees  and  amusements  for  both  hospitals, 
cakes  for  120  scourers,  besides  all  the  usual 
work  and  extra  forethought  required  to  provide 
for  the  few  days  when  no  one  will  work  here, 
you  may  think  how  thankful  1  was  when  the 
day  was  over  without  any  fighting  and  little 
drunkenness.  Of  course  the  smoothness  was 
not  unruffled,  but  I  was  very  glad  to  have  so 


374        LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE. 

much.  The  sick  nursery  mothers  were  a  great 
care,  but  we  got  them  safely  through  the  day 
by  giving  them  a  tree  and  magic  lantern  show 
to  themselves.  The  men  and  their  scourers 
behaved  admirably ;  one  female  patient  and 
some  scourers  on  that  side  were  rather  the 
worse  for  the  liberal  ale  allowance,  which  is  a 
great  temptation  ;  but  for  1277  patients,  130 
scourers,  60  nurses,  and  20  carriers — a  total  cf 
1487 — to  give  no  trouble,  was  a  great  triumph. 
I  was  glad  to  get  all  to  bed  on  Christmas  night. 
It  was  twelve  before  the  nurses  finished  their 
games,  and  my  back  was  breaking.  I  was  very 
tired  yesterday,  but  as  a  headache  sent  me  to 
bed  in  the  afternoon,  I  had  a  long  rest,  and 
am  all  right  again.  Kind  Mrs.  Cropper  sent 
me  such  handsome  volumes  of  Trench' on  the 
Parables  and  Miracles,  with  such  a  kind  letter. 
The  evergreens  from  Ardmore  were  such  a 
pleasure  ;  lovely  branches  01  laurel,  so  smooth 
and  clean.  Those  from  this  neighbourhood 
were  black  and  sooty,  one  was  for  ever  washing 
one's  hands  after  working  with  them  ;  those 
from  Ardmore  so  clean,  not  spotting  a  handker- 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  375 

chief.  The  patients  were  almost  as  delighted 
as  I  was,  as  most  are  Irish.  Not  a  bit  was 
broken  up,  but  the  branches  were  planted  in 
pots,  each  ward  claiming  a  *  tree.'  Wreaths 
were  made  for  my  room,  and  on  Sunday  they 
sent  me  into  a  day  dream,  as  I  sat  and  looked 
at  the  bits  of  variegated  holly,  Chinese  bar- 
berry, laurel,  and  laurestinus.  The  delight  of 
the  women  with  the  tree  was  so  great.  '  To 
think  I  should  have  lived  so  many  years  and 
not  seen  the  like  :  I'd  have  walked  five  miles 
to  see  it.'  We  carried  several  helpless  ones  to 
see  it,  and  all  who  were  well  enough  to  enjoy 
it  came  to  look." 

Many  were  the  little  treats  and  pleasures  of 
this  kind  which  Agnes  from  time  to  time  pro- 
vided for  the  patients  and  nurses.  Books, 
flowers,  illuminated  texts,  bright  pictures,  all 
these  had  a  humanizing  influence,  and  she  con- 
f>idered  them  essential  to  the  softening  and 
civilizing  of  the  hardened  rugged  characters 
among  whom  her  work  lay.  For  the  nurses, 
too,  she  was  constantly  planning  some  variety, 
a  day  in  the  country,  a  walk  to  the  botanical 


376  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

gardens,  an  excursion  to  Birkenhead  or  New 
Brighton.  Thus  would  she  vary  the  painful 
routine  of  their  life,  and  give  a  fresh  turn  to 
their  thoughts,  which  found  little  pleasant  to 
dwell  on  within  the  walls. 

But  while  thus  caring  for  others,  she  forgot 
herself;  the  strength  which  was  above  the 
average,  indeed,  was  yet  not  superhuman,  and 
the  long-continued  strain  on  mind  and  body 
told  at  last.  The  journals  tell  of  painful  de- 
pression ;  her  ever-sensitive  conscience,  which 
at  all  times  led  to  a  habit  of  introspection,  result- 
ing in  almost  morbid  self-condemnation,  made 
her  judge  herself  and  her  work  only  to  see 
defects.  It  is  evident  that  nerves,  spirit,  and 
strength  were  all  over-taxed.  The  added  care 
of  the  Female  Hospital,  with  its  unruly  in- 
mates, and  new  revelation  of  sin  and  un- 
natural conduct,  was  a  burden  too  heavy  for 
one  already  weighed  down  with  care  and  over- 
work ;  and  the  beginning  of  1868  was  one  of 
unusual  sickness,  the  hospitals  crowded  far 
beyond  their  allotted  numbers,  and  fever  at- 
tacked several  in  the  house.  The  very  last 
letter  she  ever  wrote  is  as  follows  ; — 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  377 

**  Saturday,  February  ist. — I  fancy  it  must  be 
a  very  long  time  since  I  wrote,  but  I  really 
cannot  keep  count  of  time,  which  flies.  I  have 
had  much  and  serious  illness  among  my  staff; 
indeed  the  weather  is  so  close  and  unhealthy,  it 
is  no  wonder.  My  work  has  been  tremendous  ; 
we  have  had  constantly  upwards  of  three  hun- 
dred patients  above  our  proper  number ;  extra 
beds  on  the  floor,  ten  or  fourteen  in  large 
wards,  five  to  seven  in  small ;  but  when  about 
six  weeks  are  past  we  may  look  forward  to  a 
diminution.  .  .  .  We  have  had  a  series  of  stir- 
ring and  tragic  events  lately  in  our  wards.  One 
wretched  woman  was  brought  in,  who,  as  soon 
ac  her  baby  was  born,  cut  its  throat.  As  soon 
as  well  enough,  she  goes  to  her  trial.  We 
have  had  the  policeman  constantly  in  the  next 
room.  Another  poor  baby  was  brought  in 
found  in  the  streets,  almost  frozen,  with  a  cord 
round  its  neck.  It  was  only  twelve  hours  old, 
but  we  were  able  to  revive  it.  It  is  in  a  place 
like  this,  one  learns  what  wickedness  there  is 
on  earth.  I  woke  this  morning  feeling  as  if  all 
night  I  had  been  repeating— 


373  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

"  And  feel  at  heart  that  One  above, 
In  perfect  wisdom,  perfect  love, 
Is  working  for  the  best." 

And  later  on  came  the  remembrance  of  the 
line — 

*'  That  I  from  self  may  rest.'* 

It  is  what  I  need  to  learn  :  to  trust  all  to  Jesus; 
leave  oft'  from  my  own  doings,  and  leave  all  to 
Him." 

It  was  wonderful  how  in  the  midst  of  her 
work  she  found  time  to  send  a  line  of  sympathy 
to  those  who  were  in  trouble.  Two  letters  may 
be  given  here  to  show  how  she  had  learned  to 
comfort  others  with  the  comfort  wherewith  she 
herself  was  comforted  of  God  : — 

*'  Dearest  C. — You  have  been  so  constantly 
thought  of  for  the  last  few  weeks  that  T  must 
try  to  write  to  you.  But  if  it  was  difficult  to  ex- 
press sympathy  in  the  anticipation  of  trial,  what 
is  it  now  ?  I  can  only  pray  God  to  comfort 
you.  Dearest,  I  know  the  many  aggravations 
of  what  is  always  a  bitter  grief,  and  I  have 
stood  with  orphans  by  a  similar  deathbed; 
and   while    I    pray   that    you   may   have    the 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.  379 

*  strong  consolation '  God  alone  can  give,  I 
ask  that  your  minds  may  be  kept  from  regrets 
respecting  means  used,  and  staying  on  His 
own  ruling  Providence,  which  ordered  all  for 
the  best  for  heVf  and  knew  the  end  from  the 
beginning  iov  yoii.  There  is  bright  light  in  the 
clouds,  for  she  is  free  from  pain  and  sorrow, 
and  for  ever  with  the  Lord  she  so  loved,  wait- 
ing to  welcome  you  all.  But  oh,  the  clouds 
are  very  dark  for  you.  Perhaps  few  know  this 
better  than  your  and  dear  E.'s  most  sympa- 
thizing friend, 

**  Agnes  Jones." 

To  another  friend  at  an  earlier  date  :— 
*'  My  dear  M., — I  have  had  so  many  thoughts 
of  writing  to  you,  and  have  gone  on  from  day  to 
day  undecided  as  to  what  it  was  best  to  do,  but 
now  I  hope  you  will  receive  it  as  meant  as  some 
slight  token  of  how  much  I  feel  for  you  all  in  your 
deep  trials.  I  have  so  often  thought  of  our  last 
walk  together,  and  as  near  the  end  you  spoke 
of  Miss  G.  and  showed  me  the  house,  I  remem- 
ber wondering  if  you  did  not  even  then  icar  a 


380  LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE. 

similar  trial  ?  And  now  that  it  has  come,  dear 
M.,  I  trust  you  may  be  enabled  to  see  the  love 
of  Him  who  holds  the  rod.  My  words  can 
scarcely  tell  you  how  much  I  feel  for  you,  and 
what  can  I  speak  to  comfort  ?  I  will  tell  you 
of  a  few  verses  from  which  I  have  been  lately 
learning  much  myself  in  a  different  kind  of 
trial,  Job  xxiii.  6.  I  think  this  may  show  one 
end  of  affliction.  When  wave  upon  wave  comes, 
so  that  we  exclaim,  '  Will  He  plead  ajainst  me 
with  His  great  power?'  how  blessed  it  is  to  see 
the  object  of  all  to  be  '  No,  but  He  would  put 
strength  in  me.'  Then,  though  we  cannot  see 
His  hand  yet  (verse  10)  *  He  knoweth  the  way 
that  I  take ;  when  He  hath  tried  me,  I  shall 
come  forth  as  gold.*  Here  is  His  purpose, 
again,  to  purify  and  refine.  Then  we  see  His 
training  too  in  all  (verse  11),  'for  He  performeth 
the  thing  that  is  appointed  for  me  ;'  the  "  needs 
be  "  may  be  dark  to  us,  but  He  knows  it.  In  this 
connection  Job  xxxvii.  11-13  comes  in  so  beauti- 
fuli\  — '  Also  by  watering  he  wearieth  the  thick 
cloud.  The  cloud  is  dark,  and  He  may  even 
seem  to  darken  it  more,  but  it  is  that  He  may 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  3S1 


scatter  His  bright  cloud.  From  Matthew  xvii. 
5,  where  we  find  the  voice  from  the  bright 
cloud  testifying  of  Jesus,  we  may,  I  think,  take 
it  as  the  manifestation  of  the  presence  of  God ; 
this  bright  cloud  will  be  scattered,  its  rays  pene- 
trate even  the  thick  clouds.  Both  alike  are  or- 
dered by  Him  to  do  whatsoever  He  commandeth 
them.'  Then  come  the  reasons  for  the  thick  cloud 
(verse  13), — '  He  causeth  it  to  come,  whether 
for  correction,  or  for  his  land,  or  for  mercy.* 
There  are  depths  in  each  expression,  but  spe- 
cially beautiful  is  the  'for  His  land.'  The  land 
on  which  no  human  eye  rests.  He  yet  beautifies 
for  Himself;  rain  falls  there  as  on^.  the  most 
favoured  spot  'to  satisfy  the  desolate  and  waste 
ground'.  The  barren  unfruitful  soil  is  to  be  satis- 
fied,— a  Bible  word,  full  of  man's  emptiness  and 
God's  rich  supply, — and  not  only  this,  but  also 
*  to  cause  the  bud  of  the  tender  herb  to  spring- 
forth.'  Here  is  the  end  of  the  whole  matter. 
God  sends  the  thick  cloud,  the  rain  of  trial,  on 
His  land  or  people  in  order  to  bring  up  into 
more  healthy  and  perfect  form  the  seed  which 
He  Himself  sowed,  that  that  which  was  before 


382  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

but  a  tender  herb  and  '  a  bud  of  the  tender 
herb '  may  spring  forth  into  one  of  the  trees  of 
the  Lord's  planting.  Dear  M.,  I  hope  it  may- 
be thus  with  you.  How  cold  is  the  warmest 
human  sympathy  in  such  a  trial  as  yours  ! 
Such  as  mine  is,  it  is  offered  to  you  and  yours 
by 

"  Your  affectionate  friend, 

**  Agnes  E.  Jones." 

To  a  friend  on  her  birthday : — 

**  If  love  were  the  measure  of  words  and 
wishes,  you  would  receive  none  more  earnest 
and  warm  than  mine.  I  cannot  wish  you  many 
happy  years,  but  I  can  most  heartily  wish  that 
this  new  year  may  be  one  of  growth  in  grace 
and  in  the  knowledge  of  Jesus, — one  of  more 
simple  devotion  to  His  service  and  one  of 
greater  usefulness.  How  you  shrink  from  much 
required  of  you,  He  knows  !  I  realized  it  when 
I  felt  your  hand  after  speaking  to-night.  Dear- 
est, did  not  those  answering  looks  and  tears 
help  you  ?  It  was  good  seed  ;  may  He  nourish 
it  till  it  bring  forth  much  fruit, — sown  in  weak- 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  383 

ness,  raised  in  power.  In  your  loneliness,  in 
your  need  of  sympathy,  in  your  trembling  in 
the  way  of  duty,  in  your  weakness  and  discou- 
ragement, in  your  sleepless  nights  and  hours  of 
weariness  and  pain, — may  He  draw  near  and  be 
with  you,  or  rather  open  your  eyes  as  those  of 
the  prophet's  servant  to  see  Him  near  with  His 
riches  of  grace  and  strength  to  supply  and  meet 
your  need.  We  want  more  to  realize  this  His 
nearness,  not  only  with  tenderest  sympathy, 
but  with  a  treasury  of  healing, — with  the  very 
help  suited  to  the  special  need.  How  strong 
and  happy  should  we  be  did  we  realize  this, 
and  were  Jesus  the  God-man  all  He  wants  to 
be  to  us  !  " 

Agnes  did  indeed  draw  strength  and  comfort 
from  this  source.  We  have  spoken  of  hours  of 
depression  and  records  of  heart-sickening  dis- 
appointment and  anxious,  wearing  care,  but 
no  trace  of  this  ever  appeared  in  her  face  when 
she  went  through  the  wards  or  among  the 
nurses.  ''  Every  one  tells  me  I  am  looking  so 
well  and  happy  "  was  her  constant  assurance 
in  her  letters  home,   and  all  her  friends  who 


384  LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE. 

went  to  see  her,  remarked  on  the  beaming  look 
in  her  face.  "  She  is  Hke  a  sunbeam,"  was  the 
frequent  expression  used  in  speaking  of  her. 
But  she  needed  rest,  and  she  was  to  have  it 
now.  We  have  spoken  of  the  increase  of  ill- 
ness, and  especially  of  fever.  A  young  nurse 
who  had  been  suffering  from  bronchitis  showed 
symptoms  of  typhus  when  too  ill  to  be  moved 
into  the  Fever  Hospital,  and  Agnes,  with  her 
usual  thought  for  others  and  forgetfulness  of 
herself,  gave  up  her  own  bedroom  to  the  suf- 
ferer and  slept  on  the  floor  of  her  sitting- 
room.  The  last  letter  to  us  was  written  when 
illness  had  already  so  overpowered  her  as  to 
make  her  feel  it  impossible  to  leave  her  room, 
but  she  gives  no  hint  of  pain  or  fatigue.  From 
the  entry  in  her  journal  of  January  22nd,  it 
would  seem  that  she  was  under  the  influence 
of  the  fatal  poison  which  seems  in  typhus 
fever  so  often  to  seize  upon  one  after  another 
victim.  My  eldest  aunt,  who  had  been  at  the 
deathbed  of  a  brother  in  the  Isle  of  Man,  came 
to  Liverpool  on  her  way  to  Dublin  on  the  6th 
February;  she  had  not  heard  of  Agnes's  illness, 
but  was  met  with  the  news  on  her  arrival. 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  385 

Some  years  before,  in  writing  to  one  of  my 
aunts,  Agnes  said  : — 

*'  I  have  just  heard  of  dear  Lady  Macgregor's 
sudden  death ;  it  was  a  joyful  summons.  I 
have  been  thinking  much  of  that  poem  '  What 
is  the  happiest  death  to  die  ?'  J.  says,  *  An  ill- 
ness beforehand,  not  too  long,  but  to  allow  of 
speaking  dying  words  and  so  being  of  use.* 
Mine  would  be  either  illness  taken  in  the  per- 
formance of  duty,  or  sudden,  in  the  very  act  of 
speaking  of  Jesus  to  a  lost  one," 

This  prayer  was  indeed  granted.  We  need 
not  look  at  second  causes,  or  judge  as  men 
judge  of  the  reason  for  this  crushing  blow. 
Faith  looks  higher  and  sees  another  side  of  the 
picture, — a  brighter,  truer,  more  comforting 
one.  The  Heavenly  Father  who  had  watched 
cv^r  His  child  so  lovingly  through  the  thirty-hve 
years  of  Her  earthly  pilgrimage.  Who  had  ac- 
cepted the  early  offering  of  her  heart  given  to 
Him,  before  the  world  with  its  many  alluring 
pleasures  had  wooed  her  affections.  Who  had 
kept  her  by  His  grace  ever  true  to  her  early 
faith  and  love  and  led  her  by  such  a  wondrous 

2  c 


386         LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE. 

path  of  service  and  self-devotedness.  He  had 
willed  that  His  child  should  rest  from  her 
labours.  It  was  enough  ;  her  place  was  ready 
in  His  presence,  and  He  said  to  her,  "  Enter 
thou  into  the  joy  of  thy  Lord." 

It  will  perhaps  be  best  here  to  link  together 
the  history  of  her  life  with  the  short  story  of 
her  deathbed  by  inserting  a  letter  of  recollec- 
tions from  one  who  was  to  her,  friend  and  sister 
during  her  three  years  in  Liverpool. 

Miss  G.  writes  : — 

"  I  must  try  if  I  can  find  time  to  write  down 
my  remembrances  of  my  precious  friend,  Agnes 
Jones.  Before  she  came  to  Liverpool  I  had 
heard  of  her,  and  felt  intensely  interested  in 
hearing  of  her  devotion  to  her  Master's  ser- 
vice in  the  care  of  His  poor  and  sick  ones. 
When  it  was  decided  that  she  was  to  come  to 
Liverpool  to  take  charge  of  the  Workhouse 
Hospital,  where  I  had  been  a  visitor  for  thirteen 
years,  my  interest  deepened,  and  I  thanked 
God  with  a  joyful,  hopeful  heart.  I  shall  never 
forget  my  first  meeting  with  her.  I  made  a 
short  call,  for  she  was  much  engaged,  but  her 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  387 

quiet,  ladylike,  self-possessed  manner  particu- 
larly struck  me.  This  call  was  followed  by  one 
or  two  more,  but  we  did  not  get  below  the 
surface  (probably  from  reserve  on  both  sides) 
until  about  the  fourth  call  I  made,  my  darling 
friend  threw  herself  on  the  ground  at  my  side, 
and  begged  that  I  would  pray  for  and  with  her, 
for  she  felt  '  in  great  need.'  We  almost  always 
met  twice  every  week.  I  went  to  her  on  Thurs- 
day, and  she  came  to  Dingle  Bank  (whenever 
practicable)  on  Saturday.  It  was  surprising  to 
me  to  find  one  filling  such  a  post,  possessed  of 
such  extreme  sensibility  and  deep  feeling.  I 
often  wished  she  felt  less  keenly^  but  then  as 
she  said,  *  if  she  did  not  feel  pain  keenly  she 
would  not  feel  pleasure,'  and  there  certainly 
never  was  a  heart  so  quickly  made  to  overflow 
wdth  gratitude  to  God  and  to  man  for  small 
mercies.  A  note,  a  flower,  a  kind  word  would 
make  her  exclaim,  *  He  careth  for  me.'  She 
was  most  considerate  for  the  nurses  under  her 
care,  and  when  some  were  ill  with  small-pox 
she  visited  them  daily,  as  she  considered  her- 
self proof  against  infection.     Most  touching  to 

2  C  2 


388  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

me  is  the  remembrance  of  her  kind  thought  for 
the  sick ;  all  sorts  of  little  cheering  attentions 
and  alleviations  ;  one  wondered  how  she  thought 
of  all.  I  believe  no  one  will  ever  know  what 
she  did  for  the  patients, — making  it  easy  for 
friends  to  come  from  a  distance  to  visit  the  sick, 
and  dying  one,  and  then  being  near  with  a 
comforting  word  when  all  was  over.  She  Would 
not  often  allow  me  to  be  present  at  her  Bible 
readings,  but  I  shall  never  forget  one  at  which 
I  had  leave  to  remain.  There  must  have  been 
nearly  a  hundred  men  in  the  ward ;  every  eye 
was  fixed  upon  her,  and  the  attention  was  pro- 
found. Her  subject  was  simple,  very  well 
prepared,  and  spoken  without  any  difficulty  or 
the  least  hesitation ;  just  a  simple  and  most 
forcible  (from  its  simplicity)  setting  forth  of  the 
Gospel,  and  then  a  most  earnest  prayer  that  all 
might  be  led  to  accept  and  embrace  it.  One 
felt  it  was  just  the  teaching  required,  and  again 
I  thanked  God  for  sending  her.  She  had  keen 
enjoyment  of  the  country,  and  sometimes  when 
I  persuaded  her  to  leave  her  heavy  duties  and 
take  a  drive   she  always  enjoyed  it;  and  would 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  389 

laughingly  say  we  had  '  had  a  spree.*  I  now 
feel  her  labours  were  far  beyond  her  strength, 
yet  when  I  spoke  about  it  to  her,  and  urged,  as 
I  often  did,  more  rest,  she  would  reply,  *  These 
busy  two  years  have  been  the  happiest  of  my 
life,'  adding,  *  you  must  not  think  because  I  tell 
you  all  my  troubles  that  I  am  unhappy,  for  this 
is  not  the  case  ;  I  am  generally  very  happy, 
only  I  like  to  tell  you  these  things, — I  have  no 
one  else  to  speak  to,  and  then  you  know  how  to 
pray  for  us.'  This  she  very  often  said,  so  that 
in  reading  her  manuscripts  I  have  hoped  that 
the  clouds  were  painted  there,  but  that  there 
was  sunshine.  On  Saturdays  we  almost  always 
read  and  prayed  together,  and  sometimes  on 
Thursdays  too,  and  these  seasons  were  most 
precious.  In  January  of  this  year  (1868)  some 
friends  met  in  her  rooms  for  united  prayer,  and 
I  believe  we  shall  none  of  us  forget  the  part 
dearest  Agnes  took,  and  the  unction  and  power 
with  which  she  prayed.  It  was  the  last  time  I 
ever  heard  her  pray.  On  Thursday,  the  30th 
January,  I  noticed  that  she  seemed  much  de- 
pressed, and  we  had  a  long  talk,  and  it  seemed 


390  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

to  me  SO  much  of  a  physical  nature  that  I  felt 
sure  she  could  not  be  well,  and  said  so.  She 
would  not  admit  that  much  was  the  matter.  I 
stayed  tea  with  her,  and  she  rested  with  me  in 
her  room  for  about  an  hour.  She  then  went 
her  usual  evening  rounds,  and  returned  to  me, 
saying  she  would  go  to  Hope  Hall.  I  tried  to 
persuade  her  to  rest  instead,  but  she  said,  '  It 
is  the  greatest  rest  and  refreshment  I  have.''  I 
did  not  oppose  it  further,  and  we  went.  On 
Friday  we  were  extremely  anxious  about  Mrs. 
James  Cropper,  who  was  dangerously  ill,  and 
as  I  had  often  seen  our  loved  one  just  as  poorly 
and  tired,  I  hoped  all  was  well  with  her,  and 
my  anxiety  was  centred  on  another  object.  On 
Saturday  we  expected  her  as  usual,  but  the 
cabmen  had  struck  for  higher  fares,  and  we 
supposed  this  had  prevented  her  coming.  On 
Monday  dear  Mrs.  J.  C.  died,  and  on  Tuesday, 
Feb.  4,  I  met  Dr.  Gee,  who  asked  me  if  I  knew 
that  Agnes  was  ill.  Most  certainly  I  did  not, 
and  wished  to  go  to  her  at  once,  but  he  said  he 
had  left  her  'settled  for  the  night,'  and  that  she 
had  better  not  be  disturbed.     After  a  troubled 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  39I 

night  I  set  off  very  early  to  my  loved  friend, 
and  went  into  her  room  (Wednesday,  Feb.  5). 
She  looked  flushed,  but  was  perfectly  herself, 
greeting  me  with  '  What  brings  you  here  so 
early  in  the  morning  ?'  and  added,  *  What  busi- 
ness has  Dr.  Gee  to  make  my  friends  anxious 
about  me  ?'  She  was  so  bright  and  cheerful, 
my  fears  were  lessened,  and  after  a  little  time 
of  prayer  together  (our  last  time,  Wednesday, 
Feb.  5),  I  left  her,  as  she  wished  to  be  '  quite 
still.'  The  next  day  (Thursday,  Feb.  6),  the 
disease  was  declared  to  be  typhus,  but  the 
doctor  gave  us  good  hope  that  she  would  get 
through  nicely,  and  gave  directions  that  she 
was  not  to  be  spoken  to  or  roused  to  speak 
about  anything.  I  was  with  her  most  of  that 
day,  and  arranged  about  her  being  nursed  as 
she  wished  to  be,  and  did  many  things  for  her 
to  keep  her  dear  mind  easy,  for  just  at  that 
time  she  was  full  of  thought  and  care  about 
little  matters,  and  she  would  then  send  for  me 
and  confide  to  me  her  wishes  (which  chiefly 
referred  to  her  work).  In  the  evening  we  had 
the  sitting-room  nicely  prepared,  and  she  was 


392  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

removed  into  it  on  Friday  morning  (Feb.  7). 
You  know  the  room.  Her  bed  w^as  placed 
between  the  windows,  which  were  slightly 
darkened,  and  then  by  means  of  the  window 
opposite  the  door  and  the  fire  Vve  were  able  to 
preserve  the  most  perfect  ventilation.  The 
doctor  who  was  called  in  said,  '  We  could  not 
have  a  more  perfect  sick-room.'  The  darling 
was  greatly  pleased  with  her  change,  and  looked 
up  to  me  with  a  sweet  smile,  saying,  '  I  am  so 
comfortable !'  On  Friday  evening  (Feb.  7) 
your  dear  aunt  came  ;  she  will  have  told  you 
the  rest,  but  I  incline  to  continue  my  account. 
We  went  on  very  hopefully  for  a  week,  the 
darling  sleeping  most  of  her  time,  and  when 
not  asleep,  not  seeming  inclined  to  speak.  She 
asked  sometimes  *  Is  Miss  Gilpin  here  ?'  and 
said,  '  She  should  not  come  every  day,  it  is  too 
great  an  exertion.'  Once  or  twice  she  sent  for 
me  to  write  a  note  on  business  for  her,  but  very 
soon  there  was  no  connected  thought.  She 
would  talk  unconsciously  about  her  wards,  her 
nurses,  and  her  work ;  and  when  the  alarming 
symptoms  came  on,  she  fancied  herself  a  third 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  393 


party,  and  suggested  alleviations  for  the  diffi- 
cult breathing.  On  the  Friday  week  (Feb.  14) 
after  she  was  taken  ill,  she  was  thought  in 
danger,  and  another  medical  man  was  sent  for. 
On  Saturday  (Feb.  15)  we  had  a  little  more 
hope.  Sunday  (Feb.  16)  was  a  terribly  anxious 
day.  I  met  the  nurses  for  prayer,  and  a  most 
solemn  time  we  had.  There  was  much  prayer 
for  her  both  in  the  workhouse  and  out  of  it, 
and  I  could  not  believe  she  was  to  die.  When 
the  doctors  said  *  It  will  be  a  miracle  if  she 
lives — the  power  of  man  cannot  save  her,'  I 
replied,  *  A  miracle  will  be  wrought  then,'  so 
fully  did  I  think  she  must  live.  But  God  saw 
otherwise, — the  work  was  more  fully  done  than 
I  had  thought,  and  the  '  well  done  '  about  to  be 
said  to  one  who  had  indeed  toiled  all  the  morn- 
ing and  rested  at  noon.  All  hope  was  given  up 
on  Tuesday  night  (Feb.  18)  :  the  pulse  at  150 
— no  power  to  subdue  it.  And  so  'the  silver 
cord  was  loosed,  the  golden  bowl  was  broken,* 
and  the  purified  spirit  of  this  self-sacrificing 
earnest  worker  returned  to  God,  to  find  to  her 
surprise  and  joy  and  gratitude  the  battle  fought. 


394  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

the  victory  won,  and  the  rest  attained  (Febru- 
ary 19,  1868,  2  A.M.)." 

The  first  tidings  of  my  dear  sister*s  illness 
reached  us  on  the  night  of  the  nth  February, 
when  a  telegram  arrived  (which  should  have 
followed,  not  preceded  a  letter  we  received  the 
next  morning),  telling  us  she  was  progressing 
favourably.  The  shock  was  very  great ;  for 
though  we  knew  she  was  ever  exposed  to  in- 
fection, the  anxiety  we  had  felt  on  this  point 
when  she  first  entered  on  hospital  work  had  in 
great  measure  passed  away,  and  we  had  a  kind 
of  feeling  that  as  she  was  doing  God's  work, 
He  would  preserve  her  from  all  evil.  Day 
after  day  passed,  and  telegrams  and  letters 
brought  better  accounts,  and  we  hoped  all 
might  yet  be  well.  My  mother's  state  of  health 
and  the  season  of  the  year  which  would  have 
made  a  return  to  England  most  dangerous  for 
her,  prevented  our  thinking  of  hastening  to 
Liverpool,  and  this  enforced  absence  added  in 
no  small  degree  to  the  painful  anxiety  then  and 
the  bitterness  of  our  grief  afterwards.  It  needs 
to  remember,   and  to  go  over  and  over  again 


LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE.  395 

what  our  faithless  hearts  are  so  prone  to  forget, 
that  all  these  circumstances  are  ordered  for  us, 
arranged  by  One,  Who  never  wills  unkindl}', 
and  therefore  must  be  submitted  to  as  His  dis- 
pensation, to  which  we  must  bow  as  trusting, 
though  sorrowing  children.  On  Wednesday, 
the  I2th  February,  it  was  supposed  the  crisis 
had  passed  ;  and  thorugh  a  slight  inflammation 
in  the  right  lung  caused  some  uneasiness,  it 
appeared  to  yield  to  remedies,  and  she  was  so 
far  better  that  she  tried  to  write  a  few  pencil 
lines  to  my  mother,  in  which  the  feeble  writing 
and  incoherent  words  brought  to  us  more  for- 
cibly than  anything  else,  the  extreme  state  of 
weakness  to  which  she  was  reduced.  One 
sentence  only,  except  a  few  words  of  love  was 
entire,  "  I  felt  when  this  illness  began  that  it 
would  be  for  the  glory  of  God."  The  general 
anxiety  was  very  great.  Miss  Nightingale, 
whose  affectionate  interest  in  Agnes  had  been 
continued  through  the  five  years  of  her  hospital 
work,  wrote  to  my  aunt  in  a  letter  of  anxious 
inquiry.  "  I  look  upon  hers  as  one  of  the 
most  valuable  lives  in  England  in  tlie  present 


396  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

state  of  the  Poor  Law  and  of  Workhouse  nurs- 
ing." On  Friday,  the  14th,  my  aunt  writes, 
*'  The  fever  has  been  a  very  severe  one,  and  her 
progress  is  slow  but  gradual  :  Wednesday  the 
pulse  was  134;  yesterday  morning  120:  last 
night  116  ;  to-day  108  ;  the  very  slight  tendency 
to  inflammation  on  the  lung  quite  subdued; 
in  fact  every  thing  favoih'able,  but  we  must 
wait  patiently  on  the  Lord.  I  am  the  happiest 
of  you  all,  though  not  allowed  to  be  much  with 
my  precious  one,  but  always  near.  She  is 
calm  and  patient,  always  sensible  when  roused, 
but  sleeps  a  good  deal,  and  is  dull  when  awake, 
but  always  rational  in  her  answers ;  3'esterday, 
Thursday  13th,  she  spoke  to  me  of  going  to 
Southport  when  able ;  indeed  she  has  the  best 
care,  and  were  she  Dr.  Gee's  child  he  could 
not  be  more  anxious  ;  he  does  not  much  look 
for  a  very  marked  crisis  in  such  cases,,  but 
since  Tuesday,  the  nth,  the  fever  has  been 
abating." 

The  very  night  of  the  day  on  which  we  re- 
ceived this,  a  telegram  came  to  say  most  alarm- 
ing symptoms  had  set  in,— inflammation  of  both 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  397 

lungs,  and  we  felt  there  was  scarcely  a  hope. 
On  the  19th,  at  two  o'clock  in  the  afternoon, 
another  telegram  brought  us  the  tidings  that 
all  was  over  twelve  hours  before.'  Two  days  later 
my  aunt  wrote  the  following  particulars  of  Tues- 
day night,  the  i8th.  "  She  looks  so  lovely : 
the  calm  yet  almost  bright  expression,  so  like 
herself  and  so  little  wasted.  I  think  I  told 
you  yesterday  that  the  doctors  did  not  wish  any 
one  but  the  nurses  to  go  near  her,  for  fear  of 
setting  her  mind  to  work.  I  was  often  listen- 
ing at  the  door ;  in  general  she  was  quiet,  but 
the  breathing  rapid  and  laboured.  I  could  not 
hope;  and  when  at  75  p.m.  the  doctors  said 
the  pulse  was  above  155,  it  was  impossible  to 
anticipate  amendment.  When  Dr.  Gee,  who 
for  four  nights  had  not  left  the  hospital,  lying 
on  a  sofa,  came  at  near  eleven,  he  could  give 
no  hope,  but  begged  I  would  go  to  bed.  I  had 
not  been  long  there  when  Walker  called  me  ; 
her  own  nurses  with  a  few  others  were  there; 
there  was  no  mistaking  what  the  breathing  then 
portended,  but  when  liquid  was  offered  she 
swallowed  it.     One  of  the  nurses  whispered  to 


398  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

her,  *  You'll  soon  be  with  Jesus.*  She  said, 
*  Yes,  I'll  be  better  then — .'  After  some  time 
she  opened  her  eyes,  no  dulness  then ;  they 
looked  bright  and  beautiful ;  she  looked  round 
as  if  she  knew  the  faces,  then  on  me  with  such 
a  loving  expression,  and  '  auntie '  was  her 
last  word.  The  breathing  became  slower,  then 
longer  intervals  between  ;  at  last  it  ceased,  and 
she  was  with  Jesus,  Whom  she  so  loved  and  so 
faithfully  served.  Her  countenance  is  the  most 
beautiful  I  ever  saw  after  life  had  departed — 
the  bright  sunny  expression — truly  perfect 
peace  ;  more  than  peace,  joy." 

I  return  to  Miss  Gilpin's  letter  of  recol- 
lections : — 

*'  It  is  impossible  to  describe  the  grief  I 
witnessed  at  the  hospital  the  following  morn- 
ing. The  dear  remains  looked  very  lovely,  and 
the  room  was  full  of  nurses  and  probationers, 
w^ho  had  come  in  to  look  at  the  loved  form  once 
more.  All  was  quiet,  solemn  grief, — I  had 
rather  dreaded  the  removal  of  the  coffin,  fear- 
ing some  want  of  solemnity,  but  I  need  not 
have  feared.      It   was   removed   the   following 


LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE.  399 

Friday.  I  got  to  the  workhouse  as  early  as  I 
could.  Mr.  Rathbone  had  sent  some  men  for 
the  necessary  work,  and  all  was  done  so  quietly 
that  your  dear  aunts  and  I,  who  were  in  the 
little  room  close  to  hers,  could  not  hear  a  word. 
A  beautiful  oak  coffm,  with  a  great  deal  of 
silver  about  it,  and  a  lovely  cross  of  white 
camellias  fastened  on  the  top.  I  asked  leave 
for  a  short  time  of  prayer  when  all  was  ready. 
All  the  nurses  came  in,  and  in  that  dear  room, 
surrounded  by  her  furniture,  pictures,  etc., 
where  she  and  I  had  so  often  knelt  together,  we 
bowed  dov/n  before  the  pitiful  Father,  Who 
had  recalled  our  dear  one,  and  Who  had  caused 
us  to  mourn.  Your  dear  aunts  prayed,  and  I 
prayed,  and  indeed  all  hearts  I  do  believe 
joined  in  prayer ;  it  was  a  time  never  to  be  for- 
gotten. The  coffin  was  carried  out  into  the 
hall,  and  we  all  stood  round  while  it  was 
placed  in  the  case  in  which  it  was  to  cross  the 
Channel.  All  was  very  still,  even  grief  was 
hushed,  and  though  there  were  many  tears 
there  was  no  sound.  I  looked  up  just  as  the 
arrangements  were  complete,  and  to  my  great 


400  LIVERPOOL   WORKHOUSE. 

surprise,  but  great  interest,  I  saw  landing  and 
stairs  lined  with  people.  The  poor  patients 
had  come  out  of  the  different  wards,  and  were 
looking  down  on  the  coffin  which  held  the 
remains  of  one  who  had  lived  and  moved 
among  them  as  an  angel  of  mercy,  comforting 
body  and  mind.  They  felt,  and  we  felt,  that 
they  had  indeed  lost  a  kind  and  generous  friend 
who  sacrificed  her  life  to  her  zeal  in  the  cause 
of  God.  The  workhouse  road  was  also  lined 
with  people,  but  all  silent,  though  many  were 
in  tears.  It  was  so  solemn,  I  ceased  to  regret 
that  the  precious  remains  had  been  removed. 
It  was  better  to  lay  her  in  her  father's  grave ; 
and  if  her  purified  and  happy  spirit  had  been 
looking  down,  it  feels  to  me  as  if  she  would 
quite  approve.  The  hearse  and  coaches  disap- 
peared, and  all  was  gone  of  our  darling,  and  we 
returned  to  her  desolate  rooms  to  weep  and 
pray.  Oh,  it  was  a  comfort  to  me  to  have 
your  dear  kind  aunts  for  a  while,  and  I  thanked 
my  Heavenly  Father  for  this  mitigation  of  the 
trial.  Now  they  are  gone,  and  no  one  knows 
how   empty  that   crowded  hospital  is  to  me. 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  40I 

How  often  I  catch  m3^self  fancying  I  see  her  at 
the  turn  of  the  stairs  or  in  the  wards !  But  I 
am  reconciled, — I  would  not  have  her  back. 
The  darling  is  at  rest,  and  rest  for  ever,  serving 
her  God  without  weariness.'* 

Close  to  where  the  waters  of  Lough  Swilly 
ripple  to  the  foot  of  the  Ennishowen  hills,  the 
little  churchyard  of  Fahan  lies  in  one  of  the 
many  lovely  spots  that  gem  the  shore  of  the 
lake  of  shadows.  The  Gollan  rises  with  its 
rounded  cairn-crowned  summit  close  beside  it, 
— the  woods  of  Glengollan  and  the  Rectory 
grounds  surround  it  on  two  sides,  and  below, 
the  high-road  passes,  separating  it  from  the 
sunny  meadows  of  the  old  much-loved  home  of 
Fahan  House.  Eighteen  years  before,  the 
father  to  whom  Agnes  had  been  so  fondly  at- 
tached was  laid  in  that  churchyard,  and  his 
grave  was  re-opened  for  her  on  the  25th  Fe- 
bruary, 1868. 

Immediately  behind  the  grave  rises  the  east 
window  of  the  old  church,  now  a  most  pic- 
turesque ruin,  veiled  with  glossy  ivy.  A  few  old 
trees  partially  conceal  it  from  the  road,  and 


402  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

cast  their  long  shadows  over  lovely  graves 
around — the  graves  of  the  poor — many  of  whom 
she  had  comforted  in  sorrow,  assisted  in 
poverty,  visited  in  sickness,  and  encouraged  in 
the  hour  of  death.  It  seems  indeed  the  fit 
resting-place  for  her.  The  mourning  in  the 
parish  when  the  news  of  her  death  came  was 
great  indeed,  and  few  were  missing  from  the 
crowd,  who  met  the  funeral  procession  as  it 
came  from  Derry.  The  schoolmistress,  who 
■was  most  sincerely  attached  to  her,  wrote  to 
me  the  following  graphic  description  of  the 
scene. 

*  We  have  just  returned  from  the  last  home 
and  resting-place  of  our  precious,  loving  and 
much-loved  friend.  It  will  in  a  measure  gratify 
you  to  know  that  all  the  people  of  Fahan,  far 
and  near,  came  out  to  show  and  give  our  last 
tribute  of  gratitude  to  our  dear,  dear  Miss 
Jones.  All  the  young  and  old  men  went  to 
meet  her ;  the  women  gathered  in  the  grave- 
yard near  her  grave,  first  the  children,  then  all 
the  young  girls  of  her  class,  next  middle-agej 
and  old  women ;  your  dear  friend  Mrs.  C.  at  a 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.         403 

short  distance  leaning  on  her  husband's  arm. 
When  the  solemn  toll  of  the  bell  struck  the  ear, 
it  was  fearful  ;  it  caused  one  bitter  sob  through 
all  there.  The  hearse  came  forward  to  the  gate 
with  its  heavy  plumes  ;  all  was  solemn  still- 
ness, then  came  the  coffin  with  our  dear  one, 
carried  on  the  shoulders  of  the  young  men  of 
your  evening  class  ;  there  was  one  suppressed 
murmur,  *  Oh  dear.'  Then  followed  a  number 
of  clergymen, — then  her  uncles  and  cousins,  etc., 
— then  the  people.  Mr.  King  read  the  ser- 
vice ;  a  beautiful  wreath  of  snowdrops  and  white 
primroses  twined  with  ivy  and  yew  from  your 
own  old  garden  was  put  into  the  grave  on  the 
coffin,  with  a  lovely  bunch  of  violets ;  then  the 
little  children  scattered  in  snowdrops,  monthly 
roses  and  spring  flowers, — no  stranger  was 
allowed  to  do  anything ;  the  young  men  of  the 
place  put  in  the  clay  and  gently  covered  all  up. 
The  sorrow  and  mourning  and  bitter  lamenta- 
tion are  great,  but  softened  by  the  intense  gra- 
tification that  she  is  laid  here." 

Miss    Nightingale    concludes    her   beautiful 
sketch  of  my  dear  sister  with  these  words : — 

2l>  2, 


404  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

"Let  us  add  living  flowers  to  her  grave, 
'  lilies  with  full  hands,'  not  fleeting  primroses, 
not  dying  flowers.  Let  us  bring  the  work  of 
our  hands  and  our  heads  and  our  hearts  to 
finish  her  work  which  God  has  so  blessed. 
Let  her  not  merely  rest  in  peace,  but  let  hers 
be  the  life  which  stirs  up  to  fight  the  good 
fight  against  vice  and  sin,  and  misery  and 
wretchedness,  as  she  did, — the  call  to  arms 
whick  she  was  ever  obeying  :— 

*  The  Son  of  God  goes  forth  to  war, 
Who  follows  in  His  train  ?' 

Oh,   daughters   of  God,    are   there  so  few  to 
answer?" 

I  have  sometimes  feared  lest  the  memoir 
which  I  have  so  imperfectly  prepared  from 
some  of  her  letters  and  journals  should  in  some 
measure  jar  against  the  trumpet  note  sounded 
in  that  eloquent  paper, — lest  some  who  were 
thinking  of  putting  their  hand  to  the  work 
should  draw  back  discouraged  at  a  nearer  view 
of  the  difficulties  to  be  surmounted,  and  the 
battle  to    be  fought.      For   those   who  would 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  405 

seek  ease  and  pleasure  and  enjoyment,  this 
is  indeed  no  path ; — it  needs  what  Agnes  had, 
the  single  eye  to  God's  glory,  the  steadfast 
will  to  follow  His  leading,  the  yearning  desire 
to  use  every  talent  He  had  given  in  His  service. 
The  battle  was  indeed  a  hard  one — painful  to 
flesh  and  blood — every  nerve  quivered,  every 
tender  feeling  was  wrung, — mother,  sister, 
home,  these  had  all  to  be  renounced,  and  for 
what !  To  live  among  the  lowest  and  most 
degraded  of  human  beings,  to  seek  to  do  them 
good,  physically  and  morally,  and  then  to  die, 
— as  some  would  say,  before  her  work  was 
done, — never  to  see  success,  or  what  she  would 
call  success  on  earth.  But  if  a  name  written 
in  heaven — written  on  the  heart  of  hundreds  of 
God^s  poor — written  in  the  annals  of  all  that  is 
most  self-sacrificing  and  self-dcn^oted — written 
on  lives  that  will  ever  bear  the  impress  of  com- 
panionship with  her,  if  this  be  worth  having 
she  had  this  ;  and  better  still,  she  had  what  was 
the  only  thing  she  cared  for,  God's  approval 
and  blessing ;  and  hereafter,  "  They  that  be 
wise  shall  shine  as  the  brightness  of  the  firma- 


406        LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE. 

ment,  and  they  that  turn  many  to  righteous- 
ness, as  the  stars  for  ever  and  ever." 


In  October,  i86g,  a  tablet  was  erected  in 
Fahan  Church  to  her  memory.  It  is  thus 
noticed  in  a  local  paper. 

Monument  to  Miss  Agnes  Elizabeth  Jones. 

^From  the  'Londonderry  Guardian,'   October  21,  1869.) 

*'A  very  elegant  monument  is  in  course  of 
erection  in  the  Parish  Church  at  Fahan,  to 
perpetuate  the  memory  of  the  late  Miss  Agnes 
Ehzabeth  Jones.  That  pious  and  philanthropic 
lady  was  the  daughter  of  the  late  Colonel  Jones, 
and  spent  her  youth  at  Fahan.  She  subse- 
quently removed  to  Liverpool,  where,  actuated 
by  feelings  of  noble  and  Christ-like  compassion 
for  the  sufferings  of  her  fellow-creatures,  and 
disregarding  the  comforts  which  her  position  in 
life  afforded  her,  she  bestowed  much  of  her 
time  in  tending  on  the  sick  in  the  hospital,  and 
affording  consolation  and  comfort  to  the  afflicted 


LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE.  407 

and  the  dying.  Intrepid  and  indefatigable  in 
her  labours  of  love  and  kindness,  she  was 
seized  by  fever  herself  while  ministering  to  the 
wants  of  some  poor  fever-stricken  patients,  and 
cut  off  all  too  soon  for  her  noble  work,  and 
while  still  comparatively  3^oung.  She  died  in 
Liverpool  on  the  19th  of  February  last  year, 
and  was  interred  in  the  quiet  rural  Burial 
Ground  of  Fahan,  in  the  neighbourhood  of  the 
picturesque  scenes  amongst  which  her  earlier 
years  had  been  spent.  A  notice  of  her  life  and 
labours,  her  death  and  burial,  appeared  in  our 
columns  shortly  after  her  lamented  demise. 
The  people  of  Fahan,  revering  her  memory, 
and  wishing  to  perpetuate  it  -by  some  enduring 
monument,  subscribed  for  this  purpose,  and  the 
result  is  that  a  very  handsome  monument  is 
now  in  course  of  erection  in  the  Parish  Church. 
Had  additional  subscriptions  been  required 
they  could  easily  enough  have  been  obtained 
elsewhere,  but  the  people  of  Fahan  wished  to 
defray  all  the  cost  of  the  monument  themselves. 
It  consists  of  a  tablet  of  pure  Carrara  marble, 
supported  by  brackets,  and  capped  by  a  moulded 


408  LIVERPOOL    WORKHOUSE. 

cornice,  which  bears  the  following  inscrip- 
tion:— ''The  Master  is  come,  and  calleth  for 
thee — John  vi.  28.  Erected  by  the  Minister 
and  people  of  Fahan,  and  their  Bishop,  in 
memory  of  Agnes  Elizabeth  Jones,  formerly  of 
this  Parish ;  Born  loth  November,  1832  ;  cut 
off  by  fever,  igth  February,  1868.'^  The  Scrip- 
tural quotation  is  in  gilt  letters,  the  rest  of  the 
inscription  being  in  black.  Over  this,  in  bold 
relief,  leaning  on  a  broken  column,  is  a  female 
figure  representing  grief.  The  background  is 
of  black  marble,  which,  from  the  contrast, 
gives  a  fine  effect  to  the  pure  white  statuary 
marble.  The  design  and  execution  of  the 
monument  were  e^ntrusted  to  Mr.  Robert  Kell, 
sculptor,  of  this  city.  Underneath  the  inscrip- 
tion already  quoted  are  the  following  beautiful 
lines,  the  composition,  we  understand,  of  the 
Lord  Bishop  of  Derry  : — 

"  Alone  with  Christ  in  this  sequestered  place, 
Thy  sweet  soul  learn'd  its  quietude  of  grace ; 
On  sufferers  waiting  in  this  vale  of  ours, 
Thy  gifted  touch  was  trained  to  finer  powers. 
Therefore,  when  Death,  O  Agnes  !  came  to  thee — 
Not  in  the  cool  breath  of  our  silver  sea, 


LIVERPOOL  WORKHOUSE.         409 


But  in  the  city  hospital's  hot  ward, 
A  gentle  worker  for  the  eentle  Lord- 
Proudly,  as  men  heroic  a^h:^  claim, 
We  ask'd  to  have  thy  fevcr-stricken  frame, 
And  lay  it  in  our  grass,  bside  our  foam, 
Till  Christ  the  Healer  call  His  healers  home. 


APPENDIX.  1 


APPENDIX— (A.) 


ANOTHER     GONE     BEFORE.* 
**  And  when  one  soldier  falls,  let  ten  pursue  his  way.** 

ON  one  sad  day  in  last  February  a  very  dear  friend 
of  our  Mission  took  leave  of  earth  for  Heaven — 
"  sweet  Agnes  Jones,'*  "Dear  Agnes/'admired  and  loved 
by  all  who  knew  her,  died  of  typhus  fever  in  her  rooms 
in  the  Liverpool  Workhouse  Infirmary,  where  she  had 
for  three  years  voluntarily  secluded  herself  from  home, 
friends,  and  family  as  entirely  as  any  foreign  missionary, 
for  the  constant  personal  superintendence  of  that  large 
institution,  and  the  training  of  its  paid  nurses  according 
to  the  plans  of  Miss  Nightingale,  who  speaks  of  her 
loss  as  "  irreparable." 

At  the  early  age  of  thirty-five  her  self-sacrificing 
work  is  done,  though  its  fruit  and  its  example  will  long 
survive  her.  Her  personal  friends,  with  many  a  sigh 
for  their  own  loss,  had  yet  endeavoured  cheerfully  to 
resign  her  to  her  vacation,  which  was  evidently  that  of 
nursing. 

*  From  'The  Missing  Link  Magazine  *  for  April,  1868. 


414  APPENDIX. 


She  was  one  of  those  serene,  unselfish,  and  helpful 
women  who  seem  to  be  lorn  nurses.  There  are  many 
who  can  look  back  upon  her  from  the  time  when,  in 
her  own  bright  home  in  the  North  of  Ireland,  she  gave 
her  days  to  tend  the  poor ;  setting  off  in  her  vigorous 
health  and  strength — whether  sunbeams  shone  or  rain 
poured  down — over  mountain  and  moor  to  the  lonely 
cabins,  where  her  visit  was  looked  for  like  a  ray  of  light 
beaming  on  body  and  soul  3  and  from  those  walks, 
which  would  have  annihilated  most  young  ladies,  she 
would  often  return  amid  drenching  showers,  as  fresh  as 
a  rose,  to  the  social  evening  circle — ever  devoted  to 
the  service  and  pleasure  of  all  around  her. 

We  love  to  remember  her  in  her  home  at  Fahan,  by 
the  side  of  Lough  Swilly,  or  among  the  glorious  rocks 
of  Port  Rush,  or  as  she  guided  us  over  the  wide  sea- 
floors  of  the  Giant's  Causeway  3  but  we  knew  her 
letter,  and  the  memories  of  her  are  dearer,  as  in  after 
days  she  threaded  the  close  courts  and  alleys  of  the 
back  streets  of  our  great  city,  when,  for  nearly  a  year, 
she  look  voluntary  share  in  the  toils  and  cares  and  joys 
of  our  London  Bible  Missions.  She  put  aside  all  her 
passionate  love  for  the  lakes  and  mountains  of  her  own 
green  isle  to  yield  herself  to  the  service  of  God  among 
brick  walls  and  interminable  houses,  and  we  thought 


APPENDIX. 


415 


she  received  a  silent  baptism  of  lire  in  the  times  of  the 
Irish  revivals,  which  sent  her  forth  from  the  quiet 
retirement  she  best  loved  with  fresh  purpose  to  com- 
fort Christ's  poor  and  to  minister  to  them  in  their 
afflictions.  She  came  into  contact  with  our  Missions 
in  the  year  i85i,  and  was  well  known  to  many  a 
Bible  woman  in  Whitechapel  and  Westminster.  For 
two  months  she  took  the  whole  charge  of  the  Mission 
during  the  absence  of  her  friend  in  Switzerland,  and  in 
the  volume  of  the  'Book  and  its  Missions'  for  1862  (now 
out  of  print)  are  many  modest  details  of  her  loving 
superintendence  of  the  Dormitory  Houses  (p.  20) j 
also  a  valuable  paper  on  *  Mothers'  Meetings,  by  one 
who  has  attended  many  of  them  '  (p.  128)  5  also  jottings 
from  her  visits  in  the  districts,  entitled  'All  Round  the 
Abbey  '  and  '  Walks  in  Drury  Lane  on  New  Year's 
Day.'  From  the  latter  we  reprint  a  few  details,  which 
show  not  only  the  writer's  gift  for  description,  but  the 
living  sympathy  with  which  she  went  about  all  her 
work : — 

"  JFalhs  in  Drury  Lane  on  New  Years  Day. 

"  I  went  this  morning  with  our  good  Bible-woman 
to  visit  her  district.  She  had  a  message  to  take  to  an 
artificial  flower-maker,  who  attends  her  Motliers'  Meet- 


4l6  APPENDIX. 


ing.  She  lives  in  a  narrow,  dirty  back  street,  where 
too  many  closed  shutters  told  of  people  still  in  bed, 
after  ten  o'clock  in  the  morning. 

"We  met  our  friend  in  the  street,  and  followed  her 
into  her  poor  little  room.  A  wretched  baby  in  her 
arms  and  another  little  fellow,  whose  large  head  be- 
spoke disease,  composed  her  family  -,  the  husband  and 
father  had  gone  out  to  seek  work,  and  soon  the  old 
grandmother  tottered  in.  It  was  difficult  to  decide 
the  question  whether  this  often  fireless  home  could  be 
more  comfortable  for  her  than  the  workhouse.  Here 
she  can  get  a  little  tea  when  the  pence  are  to  be  had, 
there  she  would  only  have  gruel  j  here  she  may  at  will 
rise  or  spend  the  day  in  bed,  there  she  must  be  up  at 
six  o'clock  summer  and  winter  j  here  she  has  her 
daughter  and  her  liberty.  These  things  she  has  weighed, 
and  chosen  to  remain  as  she  is. 

"We  wonder  how  fingers  can  make  those  pretty 
flowers,  so  fresh  and  clean,  in  this  poor  room,  and  we 
wonder,  when  wire  and  paper  are  bought,  what  the 
profit  is  ?  But  we  have  yet  more  important  questions. 
It  is  pleasant  to  hear  that  she  went  last  night  to  the 
evening  service,  that  she  was  impressed  by  Mr.  Gar- 
ratt's  after  words  to  a  few  poor  women  who  like  her- 
self remained  behind, — words  which    bemg  ^  only  for 

2   H 


APPENDIX.  417 


themselves,'  came  home  to  them  as  individuals,  and 
made  her  hope  that  as  the  year  closed  to  lier  with 
spiritual  blessing,  so  in  the  new  year  that  blessing  might 
more  and  more  be  hers. 

"  Her  husband  and  she  sat  together  to  see  the  new 
year  in,  reading  alternately  verses  from  God's  Word, 
he  helping  her  in  her  difficulties  j  for  reading  is  to  her 
a  new  art,  and  taught  by  the  loving  care  of  the  Bible 
woman,  who  goes  again  and  again  till  she  finds  the 
leisure  moments,  for  the  lesson  is  cheerfully  given  as  it 
is  gratefully  received, 

*^  The  flower-maker  told  us  of  the  sad  state  of  her 
brother-in-law,  and  we  went  to  visit  km.  In  3  poor 
room,  whence,  by  degrees,  every  necessary  piece  of 
furniture  is  going  into  pledge  (and  where  we  found 
them  at  breakfast,  cooked  at  a  fire  made  from  an  old 
chair),  sat  this  poor  man  and  his  wife.  Two  neatly 
packed  parcels  of  wood  were  in  readiness  for  the  wife 
to  seek  customers  for,  and  they  were  looking  forward 
to  the  halfpence  which  would  be  gained  if  she  were 
successful.  I  asked  to  see  his  bad  leg,  and  it  was  sad 
to  find  a  sore  with  nothing  to  keep  it  from  the  woollen 
stocking,  and  worse  still  to  hear  that  even  when  he 
goes  for  surgical  advice  he  is  sent  home  with  a  box  of 
ointment  in  his  hand,  it  is  true,  but  with  no  dressing  on 


4i8 


APPENDIX. 


the  wound,  even  when  the  probing  has  caused  it  to 
bleed  profusely.  (We  are  always  thankful  to  have 
supplies  of  rag  sent  to  the  Mission.) 

"Another  visit  showed  in  what  an  extraordinary 
manner  God  may  cause  even  a  hardened  sinner  to 
feel  that  *  He  is  love/ 

"  Opposite  a  small  fire,  on  one  side  of  his  bed,  sat  an 
old  soldier.  His  whole  appearance  was  striking.  A 
tall,  finely-made  figure,  and  a  noble-looking  head,  with 
a  very  remarkable  expression  of  countenance,  prepared 
one  for  something  uncommon,  but  we  scarcely  ex- 
pected to  find  in  him  such  an  amount  of  Scripture 
knowledge,  especially  as  he  is  blind. 

**  His  eyes  were  shaded,  and  one  side  of  his  brow 
much  swelled.  The  Bible  woman  expressed  her  aston- 
ishment to  see  him  up.  Days  and  nights  of  intense 
agony,  of  pains  in  the  head,  are  appointed  to  him,  and 
he  must  bear  them  alone  -,  yet  not  alone,  for  Jesus  is 
with  him,  and  to  this  he  gave  very  remarkable  testi. 
mony.  He  spoke  of  spiritual  things  as  if  they  were  to 
him  indeed  realities. 

"  He  is  dependent  for  many  kind  offices  on  the 
daughter  of  an  early  friend.  Side  by  side  in  many 
a  battle-field  her  father  and  he  had  fought,  and,  as  he 

2  H  ^ 


APPENDIX.  419 


proudly  tells,  helped  to  change  the  28th  Regiment 
into  Her  Majesty's  Grenadier  Guards.  The  woman 
says  he  has  been  for  years  more  than  a  father  to  her, 
and  tenderly  does  she  repay  his  care.  She  daily  comes 
to  do  for  him  all  he  needs,  sacrificing  often  half  a  day's 
work  if  he  needs  her  more  than  usual. 

"  We  asked,  in  reply  to  his  expression  that  God 
loved  him  even  at  Waterloo,  how  long  he  had  known 
that  love  ;  and  then,  having  answered  *  Two  years,'  he 
began  to  tell  us  that  it  was  not  till  the  sudden  deatJi  of 
his  wife,  near  three  years  since,  that  he  began  to  think 
of  that  love  of  God  to  himself.  He  had  been  some- 
times employed  as  a  shoemaker,  but  his  failing  sight 
prevented  his  earning  much.  He  and  his  wife  were  in 
want,  and  they  remembered  that  two  shillings  owing 
to  them  was  unpaid.  The  wife  started  for  Vauxhall 
Bridge,  over  which  their  debtor  must  pass  on  his  way 
home,  to  remind  him  of  the  debt. 

"The  husband  detailed  how  far  he  had  gone  with 
her,  and  how  they  parted  as  Big  Ben  was  striking  five 
o'clock,  she  promising  to  return  by  eight,  and  chargin<T 
him  to  watch  the  kettle  of  bones  and  to  keep  up  tlie 
fire,  and  hour  after  hour  passed,  and  she  came  not. 
She  never  was  out  late  j  she  was  always  sober, — what 
could  be  the  cause  ?     Somehow  he  thought  she  must 


420  APPENDIX. 


have  got  into  trouble,  and  he  sought  her  at  the  police 
station.  No  tidings,  and  then  he  went  on  to  the 
bridge.  He  asked  the  waterman;  there  was  no  mis- 
taking the  description,  but  he  could  not  tell  the  sad 
tale,  and  referred  him  to  another  person.  Then  he 
heard  how  she  had  been  seen  standing:  watchinsf  near 
the  bridge,  how  all  at  once  she  fell,  and  had  been 
taken  to  the  hospital ;  his  heart  guessed  the  rest. 
Almost  by  force  he  procured  admission  to  the  dead- 
house.  On  a  long  table  lay  a  form  covered  with  a 
sheet, — that  he  knew  was  his  Maggy.  He  saw  where 
the  head  had  been  opened,  but  was  thankful  the  coun- 
tenance was  unchanged  j  and  then  the  surgeon  told 
him  that  the  woman  rnust  have  been  a  sober  and  steady 
character,  as  such  and  such  symptoms  were  wanting, 
and  that  death  was  caused  by  apoplexy.  The  poor 
husband  thought,  perhaps  caused  by  that  cold  stand 
upon  the  bridge  to  wait  for  the  two  shillings. 

"The  only  comfort  he  sought  was  the  recovery  of 
the  remains,  for  which  he  had  but  forty-eight  hours* 
space.  He  inqu'.red  about  funeral  expenses ;  they 
seemed  far  beyond  him,  but  the  family  for  which  he 
worked  being  absent,  the  housekeeper  collected  among 
the  servants  lys. ;  and  this,  with  the  voluntary  assist- 
ance of  neighbours  in  removing  the  body,  enabled  him 


APPENDIX.  421 


to  bury  bis  dead, — and,  reader,  it  taught  him  his  first 
lesson  of  trust  in  God.  These  details  he  found  it 
hard  to  give,  but  he  seemed  to  like  to  dwell  on  the 
^ninutest  point.  When  he  could  say  no  more,  we 
read  and  prayed,  and  on  my  remarking  I  feared  we 
had  tired  him,  he  answered,  '  No  ;  he  could  listen  to 
such  conversation  for  hours,'  and  so  we  parted. 

*'  In  a  court  where  even  the  Clergyman,  beloved  as 
he  is  in  the  district,  has  been  insulted,  the  Bible  woman 
has  access  to  many,  and  has  canvassed  every  room 
concerning  the  possession  of  the  Scriptures.  In  one,  a 
savoury  smell  of  dinner  met  us  as  the  door  opened,  and 
there  sat,  so  hap[)ily  and  comfortably,  a  man  with  his 
wife  and  children,  enjoying  a  well-cooked  dinner. 
Who  would  have  guessed  that  three  months  ago  that 
woman  was  scarcely  ever  scjber  ?  She  has  been  ill,  and 
feels  the  sickness  was  God's  enforcing  of  tlie  lessons 
He  had  begun  to  teach  her  at  the  Mothers'  class. 

"  In  another  house  v/e  found  a  poor  woman  making 
trousers;  her  thumb  was  inflamed,  and  the  work  stilf, 
and  often  her  teeth  had  to  pull  through  the  needle;  a 
deaf  and  dumb  girl  worked  beside  her.  The  time  of 
another  is  fully  occupied  taking  home  work  and 
waiting  for  more,  and  of  the  two  other  children  a  little 


422  APPENDIX. 


girl  is  paid  6d.  nightly  for  acting  at  Covent  Garden 
Theatre  in  the  '  Shells  of  the  Ocean,'  out  of  one  of 
which  she  half  crawls  in  her  long  green  dress,  and 
seems  to  swim.  A  little  fellow,  looking  only  four 
years  old,  reads  most  beautifully,  and  repeats  hymn 
after  hymn,  which  the  Bible  woman  gives  him.  The 
mother  is  not  a  widow,  but  a  deserted  wife,  and  has  no 
parish  relief." 

In  order  to  give  an  idea  of  what  this  beloved  one 
had  accomplished  at  Liverpool,  we  can  do  nothing 
better  than  refer  to  a  Resolution  passed  by  the  Select 
Vestry  of  that  town  at  their  meeting  on  the  4th  of 
March  last,  in  which  they  record  '*  their  grateful  sense 
of  the  devoted,  self-sacrificing,  and  faithful  services  of 
the  late  Miss  Agnes  Jones,  as  Lady  Superintendent  of 
nurses  in  the  Liverpool  Workhouse  Hospital,  and  to 
convey  to  her  family  the  expression  of  their  deep 
sympathy  in  their  irreparable  loss.  The  Vestry  feel 
that  they  can  have  little  hope  of  again  finding  one  who 
will  combine  sucn  a  religious  sense  of  duty  with  such 
rare  power  of  influencing,  under  much  difficulty,  those 
over  whom  she  was  placed.  They  trust,  however, 
that  the  friends  who  are  lamenting  the  removal  of 
Miss  Jones  may  be  comforted  by  the  assurance  that  it 


APPENDIX  423 


is  the  earnest  aim  of  the  Vestry  to  continue  the  work 
she  so  nobly  initiated,  and  in  the  carrying  out  of  which 
she  sacrificed  her  life  ;  and  they  believe  that  in  doing 
so  they  will  be  greatly  assisted  by  those  who,  in  work- 
ing with  her,  have  imbibed  a  portion  of  her  spiriL" 

She  was  most  truly  spoken  of  at  that  official  in ee ting 
as  "so  like  a  ministering  angel,"  which  she  was  even 
in  her  calm,  sweet,  personal  appearance.  It  was  wit- 
nessed by  gentlemen  of  all  shades  of  religious  opinion 
*'  that  no  one  could  come  into  communication  with 
her  without  perceiving  that  she  possessed  rare  endow- 
ments especially  adapted  for  the  performance  of  those 
laborious,  in  some  respects  delicate,  and  in  all  respects 
most  trying  duties  which  she  voluntarily  took  upon 
herself.  There  was  force  of  character  combined  with 
tenderness  of  nature  and  gentleness  of  manner,  and  her 
quiet  energy,  patience,  and  perseverance  seemed  inex- 
haustible. She  did  not  take  up  the  work  as  a  refuge 
from  sorrow  or  employment  for  unoccupied  affection, 
but  hers  was  a  perfect  sacrifice  of  a  life  surrounded  by 
affection  and  all  that  could  make  it  happy.  She  served 
a  perfect  Master,  and  left  all  to  follow  Him." 

The  Chairman  of  the  Nursing  Commitiee,  Mr. 
Satchell,  observed  that — 


424  APPENDIX. 


*'  During  the  first  year  of  the  experiment  the  attempt 
was  made,  with  her  hearty  concurrence,  to  raise  a 
number  of  able-bodied  pauper  women,  by  paying  them 
and  employing  them  as  assistant  nurses.  The  drunken- 
ness and  unreliabihty  of  these  women  added  greatly  to 
the  difficulties  and  trials  of  introducing  the  new  system, 
but  drew  from  her  no  complaint  or  evidence  of  discou- 
ragement. 

-  *'  The  pressure  of  sickness  on  the  hospital  accommoda- 
tion of  the  parish  during  the  last  two  winters  added  an 
amount  of  difficulty  and  labour  which  at  last  overcame 
her  physical  strength.  Such,  however,  was  the  power 
of  her  character  over  her  fellow-workers,  that  her 
influence  still  remained  to  carry  on  her  work  ;  and  a 
lady  who  was  appointed  to  assist  her,  coming  from  one 
of  the  wealthiest  and  best-arranged  hospitals  in  England, 
and  going  round  the  hospital  for  the  first  time  unex- 
pectedly, late  in  the  evening,  and  some  weeks  after  the 
nurses  had  been  deprived  of  superintendence  and  left 
to  work  on  as  their  sense  of  love  and  duty  to  her 
should  direct,  w^as  delighted  with  the  cleanliness  of  the 
wards,  and  with  finding  every  one  at  her  post,  and  the 
work  done  as  if  under  the  eye  of  the  most  vigilant  and 
efficient  Superintendent.  Her  nurses  had  been  inspired 
with  the  spirit  of  her  own  faithfulness. 


APPENDIX.  425 


*'  From  this  we  may  hope,"  said  the  speaker,  "  that 
though  her  bodily  presence  is  removed  from  us,  her 
work  and  hibour  of  love  will  endure.  It  remains  our 
duty  to  see  that  site  has  not  lived  and  died  in  vain.  I 
believe  the  language  of  the  Bible,  slightly  transposed, 
will  give  you  her  real  character  : — '  When  the  ear 
heard  her,  then  it  blessed  her  j  when  the  eye  saw  her, 
then  it  gave  witness  to  her  j  for  she  delivered  the  poor 
that  cried,  the  fatherless,  and  him  that  had  none  to 
help  him.  The  blessing  of  him  that  was  ready  to 
perish  came  upon  her,  and  she  caused  the  widow's 
heart  to  sing  for  joy.  She  put  on  righteousness,  and  it 
clothed  her;  her  judgment  was  a  robe  and  a  diadem. 
She  was  a  comfort  to  the  poor,  and  the  cause  which 
she  knew  not  she  searched  out.'  " 

Another  speaker,  Mr.  W.  Rathbone,  remarked  as 
follows  : — 

**To  a  lady  coming  out  of  family  life  to  a  place  like 
that  workhouse,  with  its  isolation  and  restraints,  and 
the  vast  mass  of  misery  and  degradation  around  her,  it 
might  easily  be  supposed  that  the  result  would  have 
been  depressing.  She  was  one  keenly  to  feel  all  these 
things,  yet  never  seemed  depressed.  On  the  contrary, 
as  those  gentlemen  who  attended  her  funeral  service 
heard  from  the  chaplain  of  that  establishment,  her  dis- 


426  APPENDIX. 


tingu/iohing  characteristic  to  the  outward  eye  was  one 
of  cheerfulness  and  happiness.  During  her  residence 
here,  whatever  difficulties  and  discouragements  arose, 
her  constant  expression  was  that  she  had  never  been  so 
happy  in  her  life.  He  trusted  that  this  might  have  an 
effect  upon  others  who  had  a  similar  call,  that  the 
exercise  of  those  faculties  with  which  God  may  endow 
them  is  to  a  human  being,  and  most  of  all  to  a  true- 
hearted  woman,  the  supreme  of  human  happiness." 

It  is  most  delightful  to  preserve  this  official  testi- 
mony, for  it  would  never  have  been  known  from  herself 
how  truly  dear  Agnes  had  carried  out  real  Bible-work 
in  her  hospital  life,  and  that  nursing  was  in  her  hand  a 
spiritual  work,  as  well  as  a  work  for  the  body.  Her 
nurses,  trained  by  her,  continually  testify  that  hers  will 
be  no  ^'starless  crown."  They  believe  her  simple 
Bible-reading  was  blessed  to  many.  She  never  ei:ktered 
into  controversy,  but  simply  sought  to  lead  sinners  to 
Jesus. 

We  could  have  wished  (how  vain  are  after  wishes  !) 
that  our  dear  friend  had  relaxed  in  time,  and  still 
piessed  forward  to  as  earnest,  but  perhaps  a  more 
h2Llthful  form  of  devotedness,  in  her  own  line  of 
things.     It  was  an  old  and  favourite  speculation  wiih 


APPENDIX.  427 


US,  when  thrown  together  in  the  Bible  Mission,  that 
she  should  train  a  corps  of  Christian  nurses  in  London, 
as  a  branch  of  the  Bible  work,  to  live,  not  in  a  Home, 
but  out  amongst  the  poor,  just  as  our  Bible  women  do, 
but  with  disciplined  faculties  to  watch  over  and  alleviate 
sickness  j  and  it  was  thought  that  these  nurses  must 
certainly  become  responsible  to  a  separate  headship 
from  their  sisters,  the  Bible  women. 

Ten  years  have  passed  away,  and  no  such  hope  has 
been  accomplished,  during  which  time  we  may  truly 
add  that  such  Protestant  and  Christian  nurses  have  been 
more  than  ever  wanted,  and  during  which,  also,  the 
self-denying  servants  of  an  exclusive  party  have  been 
ever  pressing  in  to  occupy  the  field  ;  but  no  door  has 
opened,  in  God's  providence,  to  imitate  their  zeal  and 
cope  with  their  error,  in  our  own  particular  sphere,  till 
the  recent  offer  made  us  of  a  "  Mother  House"  as  the 
new  centre  for  such  a  movement.  Then  followed 
speedily  unexpected  facilities  for  the  proposed  further 
training  of  already  tried  and  proved  Bible  women  in 
various  London  hospitals,  of  which  we  are  now  con- 
tinually taking  advantage. 

Our  full  attention  had  not  been  roused  to  the  subject 
till,  week  after  week,  we  heard  that  a  Bible  woman 
was  shut  out  from  some  house  of  sorrow  where,  with 


428  APPENDIX. 


the  words  of  God,  she  had  entered  in,  because  the  sick 
child  had  been  cared  for  skilfully  or  the  wounded  limb 
bandaged  by  some  intolerant  Sister  of  Charity,  who 
had  said,  "  I  will  do  this  no  more  unless  you  promise 
to  have  nothing  further  to  say  to  that  Bible-woman;'* 
and  this  is  calling  forth  the  need  for  nurses  who  love 
the  Bible,  whose  tender  care  for  suffering  is  caught 
from  the  yet  more  tender  heart  of  Christ, — of  Christ 
who  suffers  with  His  people,  and  heals  their  souls  as 
they  suffer  with  Him, — who  can  whisper  the  word  to 
their  Master  for  blessing  on  every  care  that  they 
bestow,  and  who  will  do  their  duty  for  His  sake. 
There  are  no  rules  in  the  world's  wide  hospital  that 
can  prevent  this  blessed  ministration  to  loth  body  and 
soul,  and  in  this  path  we  beheve  we  shall  find  only  a 
fresh  kind  of  Bible-work,  requiring,  it  may  be,  a  new 
tact  and  a  wisdom  which  God  will  supply  to  those  who 
undertake  it. 

Alas !  the  earthly  friend  to  whom  we  should  espe- 
cially have  turned  for  sympathy  and  experience  in  the 
new  path  is  "gone  home"  to  the  world  where  there  is 
more  pain.  May  God  find  her  a  true  successor !  May 
her  mantle  of  devotedness  and  of  purpose  in  life  fall 
upon  us  3  and  while  she  sings  the  song  before  the 
throne,  may  we  too  join  in  the  song  of  praise,  and 
trust  in  the  Master  who  lives  for  ever. 


APPENDIX. 


429 


"  14,  Maryland  Street,  Liverpool,  Oct.  28,  1868. 

''My  dear  Miss  Smyth. — You  will  not  impute  it 
to  any  carelessness  that  I  have  not  before  this  replied 
to  your  letter.  You  know  well  what  it  is  to  have 
duties  which  admit  of  no  postponement ;  and  I  will, 
without  more  apology,  call  to  mind  my  recollections  of 
our  dear  Agnes.  The  first  time  I  saw  her  was  in  the 
sitting-room  of  the  Kaiserswerth  Institution  for  Dea- 
conesses. My  sister  and  I  had  just  arrived  from  Lon- 
don, and  making  friends  with  the  sisters,  were  de- 
lighted to  see  a  fellow-country-woman.  She  had 
heard  that  we  were  come,  and  hastened  to  welcome 
us.  From  that  day  (until  we  took  our  last  look  of 
her  in  the  Liverpool  workhouse)  we  were  constant 
friends. 

"  We  found  little  time  in  the  sisterhood  to  enjoy 
each  other's  company.  We  all  met  after  breakfast  for 
prayers  at  half-past  six  o'clock  in  the  morning,  and 
then  each  sister  set  off  to  her  post  or  '  station,'  as  they 
call  it.  We  generally  had  our  meals  together,  when 
we  had  a  pleasant  time  for  a  few  short  moments. 
Even  then  a  book  was  often  read  aloud  ;  so  that  there 
was  not  much  time  for  conversation.  We  also  often 
met  in  chapel,  and  on  our  way  ihither  exchanged  a 


430  APPENDIX. 


word.  We  all  went  there  at  half-past  three  in  the 
afternoon  for  meditation  and  prayer,  if  we  could  snatch 
the  time.  We  felt  a  clinging  to  one  another,  with  our 
English  Bibles,  among  all  the  foreign,  though  kind 
women.  We  got  to  think  of  ourselves  as  three  drawn 
greatly  together,  and  often  has  this  feeling  come  over 
us  again  in  Liverpool.  It  seemed  always  a  help  to 
think  of  one  another  working  here. 

"  It  was  when  a  spare  hour  came  sometimes  before 
we  retired  for  the  night,  that  we  had  time  for  a  chat. 
Sister  Agnes' s  little  room  was  near  our  rooms,  and 
often  a  tap  told  us  at  ten  o'clock  that  she  was  looking 
for  us.  How  we  chatted  !  each  eager  to  tell  the  ad- 
ventures in  the  different  posts, — one  telling  of  her 
patients  in  the  sick  boys'  ward,  and  another  of  her  ]:)ro- 
gress  amongst  the  insane  ladies.  And  many  a  hearty 
laugh  we  had  over  our  difficulties.  Of  course,  there 
were  many  things  which  were  strange  to  us  in  our 
new  life.  I  think,  my  dear  Miss  Smyth,  you  little 
guess  the  privations  and  occupations  your  dear  niece 
so  lightly  went  through  in  her  training, — far  greater  to 
her  than  to  the  German  sister.  But  no  one  could  be 
acquainted  with  her  without  knowing  that  she  had 
learnt  to  '  endure  hardness '  as  a  good  soldier  of  Jesus 
Christ.      You  would  have  wondered  to  see  how  the 


APPENDIX.  431 


desire  to  fit  herself  for  being  useful  to  the  poor,  had 
enabled  her  to  conquer  all  fastidiousness.  In  all  my 
acquaintance  with  her,  I  never  knew  her  to  shrink 
from  a  duty  because  of  its  repulsiveness.  On  the 
contrary,  I  have  known  her  to  perform  offices  for  the 
suffering,  which  some  mothers  or  sisters  would  almost 
draw  back  from  performing  for  children,  or  brothers 
and  sisters.  And  she  has  always  done  these  things 
as  a  matter  of  course,  without  affectation,  merely  as 
being  in  the  way  of  duty.  She  had,  as  much  as  any 
woman  I  ever  knew,  got  over  the  feeling  that  work  is 
unlady-like.  Everything  that  could  help  the  afflicted 
and  bring  honour  to  her  dear  Lord,  she  gladly  under- 
took. There  never  was  a  question  as  to  whether  the 
work  was  what  she  would  choose,  and,  alas  !  there 
never  was  a  question  if  the  work  was  be)'ond  her 
strength.  Whatever  there  was  to  be  done  in  Kaisers- 
werth,  or  in  the  workhouse  in  Liverpool,  she  would  try 
to  do  it.  And  more  than  this,  she  has  done  gi-eat 
work,  greater  than  many  who  liave  lived  longer,  and, 
perhaps,  she  does  not  now  agree  with  us  in  regretting 
this  self-forgetfulness.  Perhaps  the  spectacle  of  an 
enthusiasm  which  was  unable  to  count  the  cost  is  some 
compensation  for  work  cut  short,  for  a  life  taken  from 
this  earth,  where  the  plaintive  cry  of  pain  seems  to  bid 


432 


APPENDIX. 


it  Stay  to  solace  it.  It  cannot  be  that  the  example,  a 
refined  lady  giving  herself  thus  to  the  poor  for  Christ's 
sake,  will  go  for  nothing.  My  sister  and  I  were  in  the 
habit  of  taking  young  ladies  to  spend  a  few  hours  with 
Miss  Jones,  being  convinced  that  it  could  not  but  have 
a  powerful  influence  for  good  upon  them,  to  come 
into  contact  with  such  a  life.  And  it  is  something  to 
tell  you  that  we  always  felt  ourselves  happier  in  our 
work  from  being  with  her.  Last  Christmas  she  had 
planned  that  we  should  spend  it  together.  This  my 
sister  and  I  were  not  able  to  arrange.  So  her  usual 
messenger  to  us.  Nurse  Walker,  came  again  for  us 
on  New  Year's  Eve.  How  little  did  we  think  it  was 
the  last  time  we  should  meet  her  in  health  !  What  had 
not  her  love  and  ingenuity  done  with  the  dwelling  of 
the  paupers  ?  Everywhere  were  texts  in  cheerful  co- 
lours, bidding  even  these  prisoners  of  hope  take  cou- 
rage. She  had  got  quantities  of  flowers,  decorating 
every  ward  and  wall  and  doorway.  We  found  our 
dear  friend  in  the  midst  of  sick  women  and  children^ 
all  of  whom  she  had  gathered  round  a  Christmas-tree. 
This  was  as  beautiful  and  gay  as  if  the  Kaisers werth 
sisters  had  made  it.  Indeed  the  whole  scene — Sister 
Agnes  loaded  with  presents  for  every  one  of  the  poor 
children,  the  sick,  even  those  unable  to  walk  carried 


APPENDIX.  433 


in — so  reminded  us  of  Germany,  among  die  deacon- 
esses, that  I  said  to  her,  '  We  only  want  Pastor  FUed- 
ner  now.' 

"  I  never  felt  more  drawn  to  her  than  when  I  saw 
her  thus  in  the  midst  of  the  poor ;  and  in  an  unusual 
mood  of  tenderness  I  took  her  hand  in  mine  and  ca- 
ressed her,  saying,  how  proud  I  was  of  her,  and  how 
pleasing  to  our  dear  Lord  was  this  sight.  I  am  often 
glad  since  that  I  gave  way  to  this  impulse  of  affection, 
for  she  was  unconscious  of  our  sad  looks  when  we  next 
saw  her.  Oh,  how  sad  did  Sarah  and  I  find  it  to  go 
continually  to  hear  only  heavier  reports  !  The  porter 
at  the  gate  came  out  always  if  there  was  any  change 
for  the  better,  to  tell  us  the  good  news.  And  as  we 
came  away  we  were  constantly  stopped  to  know  '  How 
was  the  lady  to-night?'  asked  in  softened  tones  by 
poor  fellows  that  one  would  hardly  think  had  much 
feeling  for  anything.  They  knew  at  least  their  loss. 
I  need  not  dwell  on  their  sorrow,  no  one  knows  it  bet- 
ter than  yourself.  How  she  is  missed  in  that  house 
where  she  did  so  much  to  fight  against  the  despair  and 
misery  among  which  she  chose  to  dwell ;  and  it  should 
be  seen  to  be  understood  !  I  assure  you  the  thought 
has  come  over  me,  when  spending  some  time  with  her, 
that  almost  every  one  liad  failed  in  life.     That  all  the 


434  APPENDIX. 


plans  of  these  men  and  women  had  turned  out  to  be 
mistakes ;  that  to  many,  to  nearly  all,  there  was  noth- 
ing in  this  life  worth  living  for,  and  no  life  in  Christ 
which  v/ould  reach  over  and  conquer  death.  This 
'thought  of  their  utter  failure  has  sometimes  chilled  me 
to  a  horror,  and  I  have  gone  so  far  sometimes  as  to 
desire  for  Agnes  a  more  hopeful  sphere  of  work.  I 
have  grudged  her  health  and  hope  to  be  merged  in 
their  death  and  despair,  and  have  wished  she  might 
be  among  those  who  would  yield  a  return  of  lives 
reclaimed  and  renewed.  But  it  is  all  over  now,  and 
we  will  beheve  all  is  well  over,  and  that  this  was  her 
work. 

'*I  remain,  with  love  to  your  sister, 
"My  dear  Miss  Smyth, 

"Yours  very  affectionately, 

"Mary  Myles. 

"I  send  two  of  Agnes' s  letters.     Please  send  them 
back." 


APPENDIX— (B.) 


KAISERSWERTH,    THE    TRAINING-SCHOOL    OF   FLORENCB 
NIGHTINGALE. 

THE  morning  in  June,  1853,  which  we  had  fixed 
upon  for  our  excursion  to  Kaiserswerth,  was  dark 
and  louring.  We  rose  early,  howevp*-,  and  when  about 
6  o'clock  our  friend  ana  guide,  Mr.  G.,  entered,  breakfast 
was  nearly  over.  The  usual  salutations  were  succeeded 
by  a  discussion  as  to  the  prudence  of  making  our  pro- 
posed journey  on  such  a  dubious  morning;  but  we  finaUy 
concluded  that  as  the  rain  had  not  yet  come  on,  we 
should  set  out.  Soon  afterwards  we  were  in  the  train 
on  our  way  to  Cologne.  To  visit  this  ancient  town  was 
not  our  object;  still,  while  waiting  for  the  Diisseldorf 
train,  we  visited  the  far-famed  cathedral.  Suffice  it  to 
say,  that  in  the  building  itself  we  found  much  to  'n- 
terest,  in  the  interior  much  to  sadden.  Soon  after- 
wards we  crossed  the  river,  and  started  for  the  next 
station.     Here,  on   our  arrival,  we  did  aot  find   the 


436  APPENDIX. 


omnibus  we  had  expected  to  meet,  and  therefore  were 
obhged  to  accomplish  our  journey  on  foot.  This  ne- 
cessitated a  shortening  of  our  inspection  of  the  insti- 
tution described  beneath;  but  the  details  supplied  re- 
specting it  were  partly  gathered  on  the  occasion  of  a 
subsequent  and  longer  visit. 

Before  we  enter  the  Deaconess  Institution  of  Kai- 
serswerth,  let  us  speak  of  its  origin  and  object.  We 
had  become  acquainted  with  both  but  a  short  time  pre- 
viously, while  spending  the  month  of  May  in  Paris, 
where  annual  religious  assemblies  are  held,  something 
of  the  nature  of  the  Dublin  April  meetings.  We  nad 
attended  several  of  them  3  amongst  others,  one  on 
behalf  of  the  Paris  Deaconesses,  held  in  the  institution, 
in  the  Rue  de  Reuilly.  .A  subsequent  visit  to  this  so 
greatly  interested  us,  as  to  inspire  the  desire  of  seeing 
the  parent  institution  at  Kaiserswerth  on  the  Rhine. 

It  was  founded  about  thirty  years  ago  by  the  Pastor 
Fliedner,  its  present  head.  At  the  age  of  twenty  he  had 
been  appointed  pastor  of  the  little  weaving  village  of 
Kaiserswerth.  A  subsequent  failure  of  the  proprietor  of 
the  place  involved  the  whole  population  in  ruin.  Pen- 
niless themselves,  they  could  no  longer  support  their 
young  pastor,  with  whom  they  would  willingly  have 
shared  their  last  morsel.     He  was  reluctant  to  leave  his 


APPENDIX.  437 


post,  but  his  only  means  of  support  having  failed,  he  liad 
noclioice.  Followed  by  many  prayers  and  blessings,  he 
left  his  people  in  order  to  seek,  m  ClirisLian  liberality, 
help  for  the  htlle  flock.  Germany  was  traversed,  and 
an  unseen  agency  led  him  to  England.  Here  was  to 
be  sown  the  seed  of  that  work  of  faith,  the  Deaconess 
Institutions,  which  now  shakes  its  blossoms  over  many 
lands. 

Mrs.  Fry  spoke  to  the  pastor,  of  poor  female  pri- 
soners. He  heard  of  her  efforts  among  them,  and  his 
heart  yearned  to  imitate  her  example.  Soon  after- 
wards he  returned  to  Kaiserswerth,  bearing  to  his 
people  the  gifts  of  their  fellow  Christians.  The  lesson 
learnt  hi  England  was  not  lost.  Such  an  opportunity 
as  he  sought  was  soon  afforded  him.  Two  young  wo- 
men having  been  discharged  from  the  neighbouring 
prison,  their  friends  would  not  receive  them ;  their 
former  employers  also  were  turned  against  them.  In 
the  hearts  of  the  pastor  and  his  wife  alone  did  they  find 
sympathy.  In  the  pastor's  garden  was  an  old  summer- 
house,  and  here  he  lodged  his  penitents.  With  their  own 
hands,  this  faithful  clergyman  and  his  wife  conveyed 
to  them  their  food  ;  and  under  their  own  eyes  em- 
ployed them  to  work  in  the  garden,  safe  from  contami- 
nating influences,  and  protected  trora  the  temptations 


4o8  APPENDIX. 


of  pov'erty  or  scorn.  When  the  numbers  of  such 
penitents  increased,  a  friend  came  to  assist.  Then  arose 
the  thought  that  if  others  would  but  help,  an  impor- 
tant work  might  be  done.  In  the  early  ages  of  the 
Church,  pious  women  had  thus  devoted  themselves  to 
God's  service,  not  as  a  means  for  their  own  salvation,  but 
to  bring  forth  the  fruits  of  faith. 

Kaiserswerth  was,  in  former  times,  an  island,  which 
derived  its  name  from  having  been  a  gift  of  the  Emperor 
Charlemagne,  as  the  site  of  a  monastery. 

The  few  houses  it  contains  were  taken  one  by  one  as 
required.  These  are  now,  the  pastor's  house,  (for  long 
ago  he  relinquished  his  parochial  charge,  and  devoted 
himself  to  the  Institution),  the  orphans'  and  teachers' 
schools,  lodging-houses,  halls  and  kitchens.  An  addi- 
tion in  the  rear  towards  the  garden  and  river,  is  the 
present  home  of  the  penitents.  V/hen  the  fame  of 
Kaiserswerth  reached  royal  ears,  the  late  king  granted 
a  building  opposite,  (formerly  a  home  for  retired  sol- 
diers) for  an  hospital.  At  a  little  distance,  in  a  garden, 
is  a  new  building,  the  lunatic  asylum.  The  Institution, 
as  a  whole,  contains  upwards  of  three  hundred  inhabit- 
ants. Of  these,  at  the  time  of  our  visit,  about  twenty 
were  deaconesses  and  thirty  novices,  but  the  numbers 
necessarily  vary. 

The  deaconess  comes  to  the  pastor  with  high  certifi- 


APPENDIX.  439 


cates  as  to  character.  He  examines  her  motives,  dis- 
covers whether  any  duties  require  her  presence  at  home 
—  for  to  these  he  always  gives  the  first  place — and  even 
the  deaconess  must,  at  the  call  of  her  parents,  return  to 
them.  Should  no  such  claims  exist,  hou'^ever,  she  is 
received  as  a  novice.  As  such  she  goes  from  one  de- 
partment of  the  work  to  another.  Under  the  super- 
intending deaconess,  she  spends  a  short  time  in  the 
orphan-house,  the  training-schools,  the  hospitals,  and 
the  asylums.  Thus  she  learns  the  duties  of  each  de- 
partment. She  has  also  learned  meanwhile  something 
of  the  compounding  of  medicines,  sick  cookery,  the 
general  management  of  the  Institution,  and  the  art  of 
visiting  the  poor.  All  are  taught  to  feel  that  it  is  not 
the  amount  or  the  greatness  of  the  work  done  which 
meets  with  the  approval  of  their  Heavenly  Father,  but 
that  His  eyes  are  open  to  tlie  most  trivial  action  done 
out  of  love  to  Him.  Ihis  is  the  spirit  of  the  pastor,  and 
he  seeks  to  instil  it  into  the  hearts  of  all. 

Perhaps  his  personal  character  and  that  of  Madame 
F.  should  have  been  sooner  alluded  to.  In  many  of 
the  rooms  we  saw  a  print  representing  a  dying  female, 
with  the  inscription  underneath,  "  Rien  que  le  renon- 
cement."  These  were  the  dying  words  of  the  first 
Madame   Fliedner,  the  foundress   of  the    Institution 


440  APPENDIX. 


The  pastor  married  again.  Madame  F.  is  a  wonderful 
woman.  Who  could  guess  that  the  kind,  motherly- 
person  you  saw  walking  about,  with  her  knitting,  or 
sitting  in  the  garden,  shelling  peas  for  the  evening 
meal,  knows  the  history,  character,  disposition,  and  taste 
of  every  individual  inmate  of  that  great  establishment. 
Every  deaconess  comes  to  her  for  counsel  and  direc- 
tion 3  every  difficulty  is  submitted  to  her,  from  the 
question  whether  potatoes  or  beans  are  to  be  the  staple 
vegetable  for  the  ensuing  week ;  what  means  are  to  be 
used  with  some  refractory  or  neglected  orphan  ;  what 
deaconesses  are  best  fitted  to  establish  a  branch  institu- 
tion in  some  other  and  distant  region.  Never  is  she  or 
her  husband  found  bustling  through  the  various  depart- 
ments j  the  quiet  evening  walk  with  the  pastor,  the 
short  consultation  with  Madame,  unfold  the  characters 
and  reveal  the  feeHngs  of  the  community.  Both  have 
a  peculiar  talent  for  government;  the  former  has  quick 


insight  into  character. 


A  very  remarkable  feature  in  the  Institution  is  the 
chain  of  responsibility.  Each  deaconess  is  supreme, 
and  apparently  despotic  in  her  own  department.  Each 
is  trained  to  be  capable  of  establishing  and  governing  a 
similar  institution  in  any  part  of  the  world ;  yet  each 
experiences  the  controlling  influence  of  a  master  mind, 


APPENDIX.  441 


and  steadily  adheres  to  the  rigid  discipline  of  sovereign 
authority.  The  novices  are  the  pastor's  peculiar  care. 
Twice  a  week  he  gives  them  a  course  of  instruction, 
which  he  also  pursues  when  they  become  deaconesses. 
"To  persons  in  such  a  state  of  mind,  what  passages  of 
Scripture  are  most  applicable  on  such  occasions  ?"  etc. 
Thus  he  questions.  In  his  own  practical  and  simple 
manner  he  enforces  their  duties  and  suggests  the  true 
motive.  Thus  are  the  novices  trained  for  a  period  ex- 
tending from  one  to  three  years.  Then,  if  there  be  an 
unanimous  testimony  to  their  zeal  and  love,  and  if  the 
■pastor  and  Madame  F.  approve,  they,  on  an  appointed 
day,  in  the  presence  of  other  deaconesses,  dedicate  and 
devote  themselves  to  the  service  of  God  (as  in  our  con- 
firmation rite).  They  bind  themselves  as  deaconesses 
for  a  period  of  live  years.  They  are,  nevertheless,  at 
any  time  free  to  leave  the  Institution,  paying,  hov/ever, 
a  certain  sum  for  expenses  incurred  while  there.  ■  They 
are  free  at  any  time  to  marry  3  and,  if  required  by  pa- 
rents, etc.,  the  pastor  himself  urges  their  return  home. 
In  any  of  these  cnses,  however,  they  are  expected  to 
do  good,  as  far  as  in  them  lies,  to  the  souls  and  bodies 
of  their  friends  and  neighbours,  bearing  in  their  lives 
and  conversation,  the  impress  of  those  who  have  de- 
voted themselves  wholly  to  tlie  service  of  God. 

2  E  2 


442  APPENDIX. 


Kaiserswerth  is  the  parent,  but  it  is  not  the  only- 
deaconess  institution  which  exists.  As  opportunity  has 
afforded,  the  pastor  has  sent  forth  deaconesses,  two 
and  two.  One  hundred  and  twenty  deaconesses  are 
thus  dispersed  throughout  Europe,  and  some  parts  of 
Asia.  There  are  large  and  flourishing  institutions  at 
Paris,  Strasburg,  and  Jerusalem  ;  and  in  many  other 
places  there  are  smaller  establishments  of  the  same 
kind.  One  at  Smyrna  has  been  lately  founded.  The 
French  residents  there  wished  to  have  educational  ad- 
vantages for  their  children.  Two  deaconesses  were  sent 
from  Kaiserswerth  to  perfect  themselves  in  French  at 
the  Paris  institution.  There  we  saw  them.  At  Kai- 
serswerth, some  months  later,  we  found  preparations 
making  for  their  departure,  and  have  since  heard  of 
their  arrival  in  Smyrna.  They  would  begin  by  open- 
ing a  school  for  those  whom  they  came  to  instruct, 
occupying  any  spare  time  with  the  care  and  education 
of  the  native  women.  After  a  time  an  hospital  would 
be  added,  and  thus  step  by  step  would  they  advance. 
If,  then,  helpers  at  Smyrna  were  not  to  be  found, 
Kaiserswerth  would  send  other  deaconesses  to  assist. 
Their  labours  are  not,  however,  always  so  onerous.  In 
France,  where  the  sphere  of  the  Protestant  pastor's 
work  is  often  too  extensive  for  the  powers  of  one  man. 


APPENDIX. 


443 


a  deaconess  is  sent  to  assist  him.  To  her  charge  are 
committed  the  schools,  the  sick  and  the  poor.  Pastor 
Fliedner's  training,  with  regard  to  visiting  the  poor,  is 
very  striking.  "If  you  enter  a  wretched  cottage,"  he 
says,  "  only  to  leave  a  tract,  offer  a  few  words  of  advice 
or  read  a  chapter  of  the  Bible,  your  words  may  be 
heard,  but  they  will  not  often  sink  deep  into  the  heart. 
But  enter  the  cottage  to  help  the  wife  and  mother  to 
add  some  comfort  to  her  home,  or  to  show  her  some 
better  method  of  nursing  the  sick  husband  or  child, 
then  will  the  few  words  of  warning  or  comfort  find 
their  way  into  the  heart  otherwise  hardened  against  the 
story  of  peace.  In  the  one  instance  you  come  only  as 
the  teacher,  in  the  other  as  the  friend  and  sympa- 
thizer." 

It  is  time  that  we  should  enter  the  house.  A  few 
steps  lead  to  the  door  of  the  pastor's  dwelling.  We 
are  admitted  into  a  small  parlour  ornamented  with 
garlands  of  flowers.  Louisa  Fliedner,  the  pastor's  eldest 
daughter,  receives  us.  These  flowers  are  the  orphans' 
love-token  to  their  beloved  pastor.  Should  we  like  to 
go  over  the  Inst'tution  ?  Louisa  can  speak  a  little 
English ;  she  will  be  our  guide.  She  speaks  of  the 
family  love  of  the  community.  We  go  first  into  the 
orphan-house.    In  Prussia,  eleven  orphans  are  the  wards 


444  APPENDIX. 


of  the  king,  and  receive,  if  necessary,  a  certain  allow- 
ance for  their  support  and  education.  This,  when  they 
are  received  into  any  institution,  is  paid  for  their  main- 
tenance. The  orphans  all  receive  the  same  training 
as  children.  At  fifteen  they  have  to  take  a  prominent 
part  in  the  responsible  household  duties — cooking,  wait- 
ing on  strangers — everything  except  washing,  which  is 
done  in  the  penitentiary.  At  seventeen  their  powers 
are  known  ;  they  may  be  received  as  novices,  be  sent 
forth  as  servants  or  apprentices,  or  received  into  the 
training-school  in  order  to  become  governesses.  When 
ready,  situations  are  found  for  them,  and  they  are  sent 
out  well  provided  for.  JSIany,  after  a  few  years,  have 
returned,  and  of  their  own  free  choice  have  become 
deaconesses. 

Behind  the  orphan-house  is  the  penitentiary.  Here 
few  visitors  are  admitted.  The  washing  of  the  esta- 
blishment is  chiefly  done  by  these  women.  But  what 
is  found  to  be  most  peculiarly  beneficial  to  their  cha- 
racter is,  their  outdoor  employment,  of  which  they  be- 
come very  fond.  One  of  the  deaconesses,  herself  a 
peasant,  used  to  country  labour,  has  trained  them  in  the 
care  of  the  dairy,  garden  and  farm. 

The  '' seminariste,"  or  training-school,  is  peculiarly 
mteresting.     Hither,  from  all  parts  of  Germany,  come 


APPENDIX.  445 


young  girls  to  be  trained  as  governesses  and  school 
teachers.  A  clever  governess,  not  a  deaconess,  super- 
intends their  education.  They  must,  before  they  come, 
have  attained  a  certain  degree  of  proficiency.  A  por- 
tion of  the  day  is  allotted  for  their  own  instruction,  the 
remainder  to  that  of  others.  A  village  school  is  at- 
tached to  the  Institution.  Its  teacher  has  most  won- 
derful energy,  and  the  art  of  llxing  the  undivided  at- 
tention of  the  children  on  the  lesson  before  them.  The 
seminarists  listen  to  her  teaching.  Each,  in  turn,  on 
her  appointed  day,  repeats  to  the  children  a  lesson 
which  she  has  herself  received  from  the  tutor  of  the 
establishment,  and  rehearsed  before  him.  He  listens, 
and  afterwards  points  out  to  her,  in  private,  how  she 
might  have  made  this  point  clearer,  or  that  more  in- 
teresting. At  the  play-hours  of  the  infant-school  chil- 
dren, the  teachers  join  in  the  games.  They  give  les- 
sons in  borany,  history,  and  geography  to  more  ad- 
vanced classes.  They  also  teach  reading,  writing,  and 
arithmetic  to  children  in  the  hospitals.  In  the  one 
large  building  are  contained,  in  various  departments, 
men,  women,  children,  and  infants,  suffering  from 
every  disease,  principally  scrofula  and  consumption,  in 
various  forms.  A  little  dispensary  is  attached  to  the 
building.     The  deaconesses  are  all  skilled  in  the  com- 


446  APPENDIX. 


pounding  of  medicines  ;  but  the  dispensary  sister  was 
regularly  apprenticed  to  the  business.  A  physician 
visits  twice  a  day,  but  neither  he  nor  the  assistant  pastor 
resides  in  the  Institution.  There  is  also  a  kitchen  for 
the  preparation  of  sick  food  exclusively.  On  a  large 
board  is  marked  down  the  number  of  meals  of  each 
kind  of  food  required  for  the  day.  Each  hospital  has 
its  own  superintending  sister,  assisted  by  novices  ;  and, 
in  the  men's  hospital,  by  male  nurses  also.  The  clean- 
liness and  the  comfort  which  reign  here,  cannot  be 
described.  Every  deaconess  gives  part  of  her  spare 
time  to  reading  to  the  sick,  besides  the  morning  and 
evening  general  reading  and  prayer,  and  the  frequent 
visits  of  the  pastors.  But  the  most  delightful  thing 
of  all  is  the  infants'  hospital,  where  the  poor  little 
sufferers  receive  all  the  care  a  tender  mother  could 
bestow. 

Under  the  same  roof  with  the  hospital  is  the  church 
of  the  institution.  Large  windows  opening  from  some 
of  the  sick  wards  afford  to  the  inmates  opportunities  of 
joining  in  the  services,  which  they  much  enjoy.  It  is 
a  most  affecting  sight  to  look  up  and  see  the  sick  and 
anxious  faces  which  crowd  around  them. 

The  lunatic  asylum  is  not  far  distant.  Here  are  re- 
ceived the  rich,  who  pay  as  in  otlver  institutions,  and  the 


APPENDIX.  447 


poorer,  who  pay  according  to  their  means.  As  the  asylum 
is  self-supporting,  the  number  of  poor  received  is  regu- 
lated by  the  overplus  from  the  payment  of  he  others.- 
Everything  to  soothe  and  alleviate  is  here  provided — 
a  garden,  musical  instruments,  books,  etc.  At  the 
head  of  the  asylum  is  Louisa  Fliedner.  Though  only 
about  twenty-two  years  of  age,  she  has  a  peculiar 
talent  for  the  management  of  the  patients,  of  whom 
she  is  extremely  fond.  There  are  several  deaconesses 
under  her.  Occupation  and  amusement  are  the  prin- 
cipal modes  of  cure.  Those  who  wish  have  lessons  in 
music,  singing,  languages,  etc.  Every  day  the  patients 
go  out  to  walk,  either  together  or  singly,  with  a  dea- 
coness. Singing  is  much  used  to  soothe  and  quiet 
them  when  excited.  Every  birthday  and  holiday  brings 
some  special  amusement.  They  much  enjoy  a  picnic 
party,  one  of  which  we  witnessed  on  our  second  visit. 
They  all  walked  out  to  a  little  farm,  where  tables  and 
benches  had  been  placed  for  them  in  the  garden. 
Many  of  them  assisted  in  the  preparations  for  the 
repast,  during  which  cheerful  conversation  was  ma  n- 
tained.  The  deaconesses  were  apparently  occupied 
with  their  own  amusements,  but  every  movement  of 
the  patients  was  closely  watched.  Some  of  the  party 
went   out   in  a  little   boat;  others  walked    along  the 


44^  APPENDIX. 


banks  of  the  river.  On  one  occasion  a  girl  attempted 
to  drown  herself  by  jumping  into  the  river.  Louisa 
Fliedner  said,  quietly,  *'  The  water  will  spoil  your 
clothes,"  and  walked  on  apparently  unconcerned.  The 
girl  immediately  came  out  and  followed  her  home. 
The  day  we  saw  them,  all  were  quiet,  and  seemed  to 
have  great  enjoyment  of  their  little  expedition.  Our 
visit  to  the  lunatic  asylum  over,  we  returned  to  the 
house. 

Having  finished  our  inspection  of  the  establishment, 
we  re-entered  the  little  parlour  into  which  we  had 
first  been  ushered.  Here  we  found  the  pastor  and 
Madame  Fliedner.  Their  simple  and  earnest  manner 
pleased  us  much,  though  at  our  first  visit  we  had  not 
the  opportunity  afterwards  afforded  us  of  becoming 
intimately  acquainted  with  them.  They  had  coffee, 
black  (rye)  and  wheaten  bread  and  syrup  for  us ;  real 
coffee  for  the  strangers,  the  usual  repast  being  rye 
coffee  only. 

The  pastor  had  but  that  morning  returned  from  a 
tour  in  England ;  but  though  much  fatigued  was  full 
of  energy,  desirous  to  excite  all  to  some  active  exertions 
in  the  cause  of  God.  But  it  was  already  late,  and 
we  were  obliged  to  shorten  our  visit. 


APPENDIX.  449 


ST.    LOUP,    LA    SARRAY,    VAUD,    SWITZERLAND; 
LANGUAGE,     FRENCH. 

This  Deaconess  Institution  is  very  peculiarly  situated. 
It  lies  in  the  country  between  Lausanne  and  Yverdun. 
A  very  rough  road  leads  from    the   Edessiers  railway 
station,  and  a  most  primitive  post-chaise  brings  you  to 
the  neighbouring  village  of  La  Sarray.     This,  small  as 
it  is,  is  the  post-town  and  important  shop  emporium  of 
the  district.     It  has  its  free  and  established  churches, 
and  the  schools  in  connection  with  both  are  attended 
by  the  children  from  the  knots  of  houses  which  scarce 
deserve  the  name  of  villages,  and  lie  scattered  over  the 
surrounding  country.    These  have  mostly  their  churches, 
though  the  pastor  of  each  can  hardly  have   loo  souls 
under  his  care.     Leaving  La  Sarray,  a  very  lovely  road 
leads  the  visitor  in  about  half  an  hour  to  the  first  of 
these  village  spires.     The  one  street  has  its  fountain, 
where  the  women  are  washing;  little  ragged  children, 
pigs  and  poultry,  dogs  and  general  untidiness  are  unlike 
the  usual  Protestant  cantons.      You  pass  on  up  a  slit,^ht 
ascent  by  a  river  and  among  trees,  to  a  very  curious 
rock-encircled  spot,  where,  above  the  village  and  com- 
manding the  whole  extent  of  country,  stand  three  or 
four  detached   buildings.     Here  again,   is  a  fountain, 


45©  APPENDIX. 


at  which  a  female  in  deaconess  attire  is  busy,  She 
cordially  welcomes  the  stranger,  and  will  seek  Mon- 
sieur le  Pasteur.  A  narrow  passage  leads  you  past  the 
kitchen  to  a  good-sized  sitting-room,  which,  opening  on 
a  small  but  homelike  garden,  has  an  air  of  comfort 
even  in  its  simplicity.  A  few  flowers  and  fewer  books ; 
portraits  of  reformers  and  remarkable  pastors  j  a  few 
photographs  of  sisters,  and  you  have  all  the  adorn- 
ments. A  large  number  of  chairs,  several  tables,  with 
a  very  old-fiishioned  sofa,  are  all  the  uncarpeted  room 
contains.  Soon  the  daughter  of  the  house  appears,  and 
in  a  very  French  manner  receives  her  former  friend; 
old  Kaiscrswerth  memories  are  revived ;  Julie  is  full  of 
regrets  at  the  absence  of  her  father  and  mother,  the 
heads  of  the  Institution,  but  the  visitor  has  spent  the 
last  twenty-four  hours  with  them  at  the  residence  of 
th.ix-  lately  widowed  daughter.  Their  representatives 
are  soon  introduced ;  Monsieur  and  Madame  Henri 
Germond,  who  have  lately  given  up  their  home  to 
assist  his  aged  parents  in  their  almost  too  heavy  charge 
of  carrying  on  the  work  begun  in  days  of  greater  vigour. 
The  first  impressions  of  these  future  heads  were 
deepened  on  further  acquaintance.  Madame  is  a 
young  and  pretty  woman,  earnest  and  conscientious, 
but  too  much  absorbed  in  her  children  to  make  the 


APPENDIX,  451 


Institution  her  first  care  j  perhaps  she  is  too  new'/ 
come  to  feel  her  responsibihties  with  respect  to  iL 
Her  husband  is  a  naturally  reserved  man,  a  deep 
thinker,  fond  of  study  and  of  teaching,  more  suited 
perhaps  for  the  training  of  young  men  than  for  guiding 
women.  A  great  deal  of  quiet  humour  and  a  store  of 
appropriate  anecdotes  make  him  a  pleasant  person  in 
general  society,  and  he  seems  always  to  try  to  hav3 
some  improving  and  suggestive  idea.  Could  h3  r^'-c 
chosen  to  follow  his  taste  in  every  way,  I  am  sure  h's 
life  would  have  been  spent  in  deep  study  3  he  would 
have  written  much  and  ably  ;  given  lectures  on  reli- 
gious and  philosophical  subjects,  and  perhaps  takeri 
some  of  the  head  classes  in  the  colleges  or  had  young 
men  to  read  with  him ;  and  yet,  hear  him  in  family 
prayer,  in  his  weekly  lectures,  and  those  in  the  wards, 
and  those  more  especially  for  the  sisters,  and  also  in  the 
more  general  Sunday  services  ;  talk  to  him  about  the 
difficulties  of  the  work,  its  snares  for  individuals,  its 
general  results,  or  consult  him  as  a  friend  respecting 
your  own  future,  and  you  feel  there  is  an  earnestness 
of  purpose  about  himself,  a  power  of  sympathy  with 
others,  a  perception  of  character,  and  also  of  duty,  and 
above  all,  a  simple  seeking  to  know  and  to  follow  God's 
way  and  the  leadings  of  His  providence,  and  01  bring- 


452  APPENDIX. 


ing  everything  to  His  footstool ;  so  that  what  Monsieur 
Henri  Gennond  says  is  not  so  much  what  impresses 
you  as  that  where  he  seeks  wisdom,  you  too  may  find 
guidance, — all  this  makes  one.  feel  that  he  has  much 
that  will  in  time  adapt  him  for  the  responsible  work 
he  has  undertaken.  As  yet  he  is  not  wholly  given  to 
it  J  as  yet  his  quick  temper  is  not  perhaps  sufficiently 
under  restraint  j  as  yet  he  is  more  the  chaplain  of  the 
Institution  than  its  head.  Perhaps  while  his  father  and 
mother  reside  there  he  does  not,  even  in  their  long  and 
frequent  absences,  sufficiently  feel  himself  the  respon- 
sible person.  During  my  visit  the  Institution  suffered 
from  this ;  there  seemed  no  one  to  regulate  those 
minute  and  daily  varying  details,  which,  insignificant  as 
they  appear,  are  in  fact  the  school  in  which  the 
deaconess  character  is  moulded.  Neither  were  there 
over  each  department  the  disciplined  elder  sisters,  whose 
quiet  influence  and  deportment  so  insensibly  form  the 
younger  members  of  the  community.  Too  many  of 
these  had  been  draughted  to  outposts,  and  the  Mother 
House  seemed  altogether  to  be  in  the  kind  of  normal 
state  one  might  imagine  a  newly-established  work 
would  present.  The  order  and  regularity,  the  clock- 
work precision  of  other  institutions,  were  wanting..  Very 
glaring  defects  in  novices  seemed  scarcely  perceived,  or 


APPENDIX.  45. 


rather  perhaps  one  ought  to  say,  there  was  none  of 
that  close  supervision  of  them  in  their  work  by  which 
the  character  is  so  thoroughly  discovered.  A  novice, 
for  hours  left  alone  with  her  patients,  may  give  way  to 
temper,  impatience,  and  indolence,  without  being  sus- 
pected of  these  failings,  for  even  among  Christians  we 
find  too  many  eye-servants.  You  often  asked  your- 
self,— Has  Kaiserswerth  more  sterling  material  to  work 
upon  ?  Is  the  German  more  solid  than  the  Swiss 
character?  and  yet  when  you  visited  St.  Loup 
deaconesses  in  other  districts,  you  felt  their  training  had 
been  different  from  what  those  in  the  house  during  my 
visit  were  receiving.  Still  tJiere  was  a  something 
wanting.  Ihere  is  a  refmement,  a  courtesy,  a  quiet 
self-possession  about  Kaiserswerth  deaconesses,  I  have 
not  found  elsewhere  as  a  rule.  Elsewhere  you  find  it 
in  individuals  j  at  Kaiserswerth,  it  stamps  the  com- 
munity. There  are,  nevertheless,  many  exceptions. 
Pastor  Germond  and  the  mother  are  the  most  warm- 
hearted and  genial  of  any  of  the  "  Heads  "  I  have  seen. 
They  have  benevolence  beaming  in  every  feature,  and 
as.  they  enter  a  ward,  old  and  young  look  to  them  as 
to  parents.  Ever  with  a  cheerful  and  cheering  word 
for  each  ;  a  look  or  a  shake  of  the  hand  which  makes 
the  most  complaining  feel  they  have  some  one  who 


454  APPENDIX. 


sympathizes,  and  for  the  day  every  one  who  has  seen 
either  M.  or  Madame  G.  is  cheered  by  the  remembrance 
of  their  visit.  Ask  any  one  what  did  they  say  to  you, 
and  you  feel  heart  spoke  to  heart.  "The  sun  always 
shines  the  day  they  have  been  among  us,"  is  the  usual 
expression,  and  you  scarcely  feel  it  exaggerated  when 
you  witness  the  genial  effect.  On  one  distinc- 
tive feature  of  this  Institution,  Pastor  Germond  prides 
himself.  At  dinner  and  supper,  all  the  workers  meet 
at  a  common  table.  At  the  head  sit  the  Pastor  and 
the  Mother ;  any  strangers  next,  and  then  the  elder 
sisters,  novices,  convalescents  from  among  the  patients, 
and  then  the  farm  servants. 

There  is  little  conversation,  but  usually  during  the 
meal  the  Pastor  or  Mother  tell  some  news  of  general 
interest,  or  relate  some  anecdote  respecting  a  Reformer, 
or  some  other  remarkable  character. 

Morning  and  evening  prayer  is  conducted  as  follows. 
A  hymn  is  sung,  a  portion  of  Scripture  read  and  ex- 
plained, then  an  extempore  prayer  is  offered,  in  which 
the  different  branch  institutions  are  specially  remem- 
bered, and  any  particular  cases  are  mentioned.  The 
Pastor  visits  the  sick  daily,  taking  a  certain  number, 
but  never  passing  those  who  are  very  ill  without  a  few 
words  of  prayer  and  a  text  or  two,  followed  by  some 
simple  words. 


APPENDIX.  455 


The  sisters  are  expected  to  read  and  pray  with  the 
patients,  but  I  never  could  find  that  they  had  much 
special  teaching  to  prepare  them  for  this.  The  Pastor 
gives  a  weekly  lecture  in  each  ward,  and  I  think  when 
old  Madame  G.  was  at  home,  she  used  to  come  every 
afternoon  to  read  a  chapter,  followed  by  a  simple  ex- 
planation. On  Sunday,  all  who  are  able,  go  to  La 
Sarray  to  the  curious  *'  upper  room,"  where  the  Pastor 
conducts  the  Free  Church  services  for  all  who  choose 
to  attend.  For  the  afternoon  service  his  dining-room 
is  thrown  open  to  the  public.  Here,  too,  is  held  a 
kind  of  weekly  lecture  for  the  sisters.  This  is  varied 
according  to  circumstances.  When  several  elder  sisters 
are  present,  it  is  a  kind  of  "  conference,"  and  bears 
that  name ;  when  otherwise,  a  portion  of  Scripture  is 
read  which  seems  specially  applicable, — some  duty  in- 
culcated, perhaps  some  reproof  administered,  which  the 
past  week  has  shown  to  be  ne-dful ;  but  I  did  not  hear 
of  any  catechetical  instruction,  of  which  there  is  so 
much  at  Kaiserswerth.  As  usual,  one  is  struck  with 
the  very  partial  observance  of  the  Sabbath.  On  a  Sun- 
day afternoon  I  first  explored  the  place,  and  may  there- 
fore here  describe  the  situation  of  the  house.  It  stands 
on  an  eminence,  in  fact  the  ground  is  curiou-ly  cut 
away  in  front,  so  that  house  and  garden  seem  to  be  on 


456  APPENDIX. 


a  high  terrace  3  below  is  a  little  village,  and  a  noisy 
stream  winds  among  shrubs  and  trees  to  the  left;  a 
vast  expanse  of  rather  flat  ground  stretches  before  you, 
rich  fields,  a  few  trees,  and  scattered  knots  of  houses, 
and  then,  far  away,  but  beautifully  distinct  in  clear 
weather,  Mont  Blanc,  in  his  greatest  magnificence,  and 
all  the  snowy  Alpine  range.  I  never  saw  Mont  Blanc 
as  I  have  seen  him  from  this  neighbourhood.  He  in- 
deed stands  forth  the  "  monarch  "  from  amid  his  at- 
tendant "  guards."  Nor  is  the  prospect  less  imposing 
when  partial  mists  leave  much  hidden  grandeur  to  the 
imagination  to  picture;  then  there  is  often  a  solemn 
majesty  in  the  scene,  unfelt  when  unclouded  sunlight 
reveals  it  in  all  its  dazzling  splendour.  Behind  the 
house,  enclosing  its  apparent  domain,  or  rather  fields, 
is  a  very  curious  semicircular  wall  of  rock,  about  50 
feet  high,  from  which  there  is  no  apparent  egress; 
from  the  summit  the  Alpine  panorama  is  complete. 
In  the  part  nearest  the  house  is  the  apparently  exca- 
vated cavity  where  the  ^'  Patron  Saint "  of  the  district 
led  his  hermit  life.  I  suppose  from  his  lofty  eyrie  St. 
Loup  saw  somewhat  of  human  misery,  for  he  descended 
to  erect,  where  the  Institution  now  stands,  a  home  or 
refuge  for  the  sick.  Thus  St.  Loup  is  an  ancient 
establishment,  and  as  at  Kaiserswerth,  we  find  a 
modern  work  on  a  very  ancient  basis. 


APPENDIX.  457 


The  art  of  nursing  is  not  in  very  great  perfection 
he/e.  The  sisters  serin  to  have  no  routine  of  work  ; 
they  have  their  appointed  posts,  certainly,  but  not  the 
Kaiserswerth  organization ;  in  fact,  no  other  institution 
of  the  kind  that  I  know,  has.  Nor  is  the  daily  walk 
the  rule  as  there,  nor  the  midday  half-hour  for  private 
prc/er,  nor  the  after-dinner  portion  of  the  Psalms,  nor 
the  appointed  Scripture  lessons  for  morning  and  even- 
ing reading,  nor  the  connecting  daily  text,  all  of  which 
Hx-e  the  Kaiserswerth  links  between  its  widely  scattered 
members.  A  St.  Loup  sister  goes  daily  to  hold  her 
school  at  La  Sarray,  and  is  most  admirably  fitted  for 
the  post.  Here  novices  can  be  trained  in  this  branch 
of  the  work,  the  mother  house  consistmg  merely  of 
a  hospital.  At  La  Ferriere,  about  three  miles  distant, 
four  sisters  have  an  orphan  house  and  Cripples'  Home. 
At  Lausanne,  three  sisters  manage  a  children's  hospital, 
and  at  Vevey  others  ars  engaged  in  the  same  work. 
In  fact  ceveral  Swiss  towns  are  their  spheres  of  labour, 
and  when  one  sees  them  thus,  one  is  more  favourably 
impressed  with  thi  general  stamp  of  the  character  of 
St.  Loup  deaconesses  than  by  those  one  has  found  at 
the  parent  Institution.  Certain  family  circumstances  in 
late  years  probably  account  for  this.  Perhaps  also,  now 
that  there   is  more  religious  freedom  in  Switzerland, 


45^  APPENDIX. 


those  who  would  be  earnest  workers  do  not  so  much 
feel  the  need  of  an  institution  to  give  them  shelter  and 
support.  The  days  are  past  when,  in  a  Protestant 
Canton,  Pastor  Germond  was  imprisoned  for  venturing 
to  assemble  a  few  friends  in  his  own  house  for  reading 
God's  Word  and  prayer.  The  Free  Church,  though 
not  sharing  all  the  privileges  of  the  established,  is 
equally  tolerated,  but  its  ministers  and  members  are 
not  so  much  the  chosen  band  tliey  used  to  be.  I  saw 
the  Institution  at  St.  Loup  under  most  unfavourable 
circumstances  J  the  real  heads  were  little  there.  I  saw 
a  crood  deal  of  them,  but  not  much  of  their  actual 
work.  The  Gospel  appeared  to  be  simply  and  fully 
taught,  and  God's  word  to  take  its  proper  place.  Much 
good -has  been  done  by  this  unpretending  Institution, 
and  much  more  we  trust  may  arise.  God's  blessing 
upon  it  is  so  earnestly  and  constantly  sought,  that 
doubtless  He  will  not  withhold,  but  shower  down  rich 
grace  on  its  sisters. 

REIHEN,  NEAR  BASLE  ',     LANGUAGE,  GERMAN. 

This  Deaconess  Institution  is  more  exclusively  under 
female  management  than  either  St.  Loup,  Kaiserswerth, 
or  Strasburg.    Its  president  is  not  a  pastor,  and  though. 


APPENDIX.  459 


when  in  the  neighbourhood,  he  is  constantly  consulted, 
the  detail  of  the  work  is  entirely  in  the  hands  of  Sister 
Trinette,  or  Trina,  as  she  is  commonly  called.  She 
was  selected  for  this  work  by  Monsieur  Spittlcr, 
who,  as  she  says,  almost  forcibly  carried  her  from  her 
father's  house  to  take  the  conduct  of  the  embryo  hos- 
pital, into  which  patients  were  bribed  to  enter.  The 
physician  tells  most  amusing  stories  of  the  rate  of  pay- 
ment which  certain  cases  required  to  induce  them  to 
trust  themselves  to  the  gentle  sister.  At  Reihen  the 
educated  clement  among  the  sisters  is  quite  the  excep- 
tion ;  when  I  was  there,  but  one  could  help  with  cor- 
respondence or  accounts,  and  this  she  did  not  always 
choose  to  do.  The  sisters  are  chiefly  of  the  peasant 
class,  and  nursing  is  iheir  sole  occupation.  The  medical 
man  visits  daily  :  the  institution  is  his  pride  and  hobby, 
and  he  looks  upon  it  as  his  child  j  bnt  he  takes  more 
the  philanthropic  than  the  Christian  view  with  regard 
to  it.  Such  is  not,  however,  the  case  with  Monsieur 
Bischoff,  the  president,  who  tries  to  deepen  and  con- 
solidate its  Bible  foundation.  A  pastor  from  Basle 
comes  weekly  to  instruct  the  sisters,  but  neither  his 
teaching  nor  the  ministry  they  attend  struck  me  par- 
ticularly. In  the  neighbouring  Deaf  and  Dumb  Insti- 
tution they  have  very  helpful  Sunday  afternoon  services 


460     .  APPENDIX. 


and  the  heads  of  that  institution  maintain  an  elevating 
Christian  fellowship  with  the  sisters.  There  is  great 
simplicity  in  all  the  arrangements  j  the  usual  deaconess 
cleanliness  and  order  pervade  the  institution.  The  phy- 
sician, who  is  also  a  surgeon,  takes  much  pains  in  train- 
ing the  sisters  and  novices  in  the  nursing  department, 
and  his  quick  eye  detects  the  slightest  disorder  or 
irregularity,  on  which  he  does  not  fail  to  remark. 
Sister  Trinette  is  the  most  simple  and  humble-minded 
Christian,  and  has  gentle,  winning,  affectionate  man- 
ners. Perhaps  as  head,  she  ought  to  exact  more  respect, 
and  yet  she  can  act  with  great  decision.  One  or  two 
elder  sisters  are  rather  self-willed,  which  is  of  course 
bad  as  example  to  the  younger-  but  over  the  latter  the 
gentle  firmness  of  Sister  Trina  seems  to  have  the  proper 
influence,  and  perhaps  the  beautiful  humility  with  which 
she  submits  to  the  often  troublesome  elder  sisters  more 
strengthens  her  position  than  would  the  absolute  asser- 
tion of  her  rights.  Here  again,  the  workers  at  out- 
posts show  the  results  of  the  training  more  than  do 
the  unformed  characters  found  at  the  parent  institu- 
tion. This  is  so  small,  that  the  head  requires  no  me- 
dium sisters  between  herself  and  the  novices,  and  she 
keeps  up  the  correspondence  with  those  at  outposts. 
Basle  has  Reihen  sisters  in  its  town  and  children's  hos- 


APPENDIX.  461 


pitals,  and  also  in  its  prison.  Reihen  is  also  the  parent 
of  the  Deaconess  Institution  at  Zurich,  of  which  more 
can  be  told,  but  I  believe  Reihen  sisters  have  never 
yet  gone  out  of  Switzerland.  They  are  placed  entirely 
under  the  control  of  the  heads  of  the  hospitals,  etc., 
in  which  they  work,  and  conform  themselves  to  their 
rules,  and  thus  differ  from  the  Kaiserswerth  sisters, 
who  must  always  work  in  the  Kaiserswerth  groove, 
and  submit  to  no  direction  or  guidance  but  that  of 
their  own  pastor.  On  no  account  must  they  modify 
the  rule  in  which  they  have  been  trained,  without  very 
special  and  rarely  granted  permission.  The  Sabbath  is 
more  observed  in  Reihen  than  in  any  other  similar  in- 
stitution I  have  seen,  and  this  may  be  traced  to  Monsieur 
Bischoff's  acquaintance  with  and  admiration  for  En- 
glish customs,  A  committee  of  ladies  meet  occasionally 
to  advise  Sister  T.,  but  this  is  only  nominal,  the  meeting 
being  more  to  hear  of  the  work.  The  president  usually 
lays  before  the  ladies  the  most  important  occurrences 
of  the  past  few  months,  and  Sister  Trina  consults  them 
upon  any  domestic  arrangements,  as  the  necessary  re- 
newal of  linen,  blankets,  etc.  This  is,  I  believe,  their 
only  real  business,  as  Sister  Trina  is  so  trusted  that 
advice  to  her,  or  sanction  to  her  proceedings,  is  given 
only  when  slie  herself  seeks  it.     Some   idea   may  be 


462  APPENDIX. 


formed  of  the  un-English  simplicity  of  Reihen  when  we 
picture  to  ourselves  the  Committee-room  containing 
two  beds.  They  are  certainly  not  in  constant  use,  but 
being  the  only  spare  room  in  the  house^  it  serves  a 
variety  of  purposes,  and  amongst  others,  it  is  the  sleep- 
ing apartment  of  strangers  or  sisters  who  riiay  return 
temporarily.  The  Deaconess  Institution  at  Reihen  and 
the  missionary  training-school  at  Crischona  were  once 
in  close  connection,  and  had  union  prayer-meetings 
(though  the  deaconesses  never  prayed  publicly).  Too 
many  marriages,  however,  were  the  result  of  this  inter- 
course, which  has  now  been  entirely  stopped  j  not  that 
marriage  is  forbidden,  or  discountenanced,  in  any  of 
the  deaconess  houses  j  it  is  rather  looked  upon  as  the 
necessary  and  providential  discipline  of  some  characters, 
though  the  impression  generally  seems  to  be,  that  if  a 
deaconess  marries,  she  will  have  some  special  trials,  and 
certainly  a  number  of  cases  are  enumerated  of  dea- 
conesses who  have  been  soon  left  widows,  or  have  had 
struggling  lives  with  large  families.  In  three  cases  I 
have  myself  known  where  I  have  seen  the  sister  at  her 
work,  and  after  six  or  eight  years  found  her  as  a 
m.arried  woman  at  the  head  of  an  institution,  the 
care  of  husband  and  children  has  seemed  to  be  almost 
all-engrossing,  and  I  do  not  think  she  is  able  to  attend 


APPENDIX.  463 


to  both  family  and  institution  duties.  Madame  Fliedner 
combines  both  in  a  wonderful  manner,  but  overworks 
mind  and  body.  So  much  devolves  on  those  in  re- 
sponsible positions  in  deaconess  houses, — the  intimate 
knowledge  of  the  peculiar  character  of  every  sister  and 
novice,  what  each  is  best  fitted  for,  how  the  defects  of 
each  are  to  be  counterbalanced  and  their  strong  points 
of  character  developed.  How  every  part  in  the  ma- 
chinery is  to  be  formed  into  a  perfect  whole  requires 
such  attention  to  detail,  as  well  as  to  general  effect 
that  the  concentrated  energies  of  one  highly  endowed 
individual  would  not  suffice.  Wisdom  from  above  is 
daily,  hourly  needed  to  combine  the  jarring  elements, 
and  to  draw  forth  the  union  and  harmony  which  are  the 
difficulty  and  yet  the  aim  of  such  work. 

ZURICH. 

If  we  go  back  a  few  years  in  the  history  of  the 
Reihen  Institution,  we  shall  find  that  some  important 
matter  is  under  long  and  serious  discussion.  Many 
prayers  are  offered  up  for  the  only  sure  wisdom  and 
true  guidance.  Among  the  sisters  there  is  one  whom 
nature  seems  to  have  endowed  with  extraordinary 
powers  of  government,    but  to  whom   submission    to 


4^4  APPENDIX. 


authority  seems  almost  impossible.  She  has  many 
sterhng  qualities,  much  that  is  so  truly  excellent  and 
estimable,  that  but  for  this  one  thing  she  would  be  in- 
valuable. A  sincere  and  earnest  Christian,  and  yet 
marring  the  work.  No  Institution  can  have  two  heads  j 
her  influence  is  injurious,  and  yet  are  all  these  powers 
to  be  rejected  ?     Can  they  not  be  put  to  good  account 

even  in  deaconess  work  ?      Sister returns  home  for 

a  while,  and  prayer  is  made  by  many  on  her  behalf 
that  the  will  of  the  Lord  concerning  her  may  be 
clearly  discerned.  Soon  comes  an  appeal  from  Zurich  j 
can  Reihen   give  a  head  for  an  independent  Deaconess 

Institution?     It  is  the  very  work  for   Sister ,  and 

she  goes  to  Zurich  to  take  her  position  in  the  small 
newly  opened  hospital  at  the  end  of  the  town.  Nor 
does  she  go  alone  ;  this  strong  masculine  character  has 
attracted  the  little  clinging  Sister  Julie  Kleinst,  who 
appears  to  have  no  decision  of  character,  and  may  be 
led  and  moulded  by  any  one  to  whom  she  is  attached, 
but  would  never  venture  to  otfer  or  almost  form  an 
opinion  of  her  own.  It  seemed  as  if  she  could  only 
live  in  Sister 's  presence,  and,  to  use  her  own  ex- 
pression, she  followed  her  like  a  dog,  lay  at  her  feet  by 
day  as  she  sat  at  her  desk,  and  slept  in  her  room  by 
night,  ready  to   help  Sister in  anything,   but  too 


APPENDIX. 


465 


shy  to  work  with  others,  almost  shrinking  from  meet- 
ing the  sisters  at  the  common  table,  even  when  pro- 
tected by  her  guardian  friend.  Only  one  thing  seemed 
at  all  to  rouse  her  to  independent  action.     Sometimes 

Sister was  ill,  and  then,  as  her  representative,  the 

little  shrinking  Julie  appeared  in  a  new  character.  In 
less  than  a  year  Sister lay  on  her  death -bed  say- 
ing to  her  friend  ''You  must  take  my  place,— you 
alone  know  how  matters  have  gone  on  hitherto  ;  in  the 
Rock  of  Ages  is  everlasting  strength,  my  child,  and  un- 
derneath are  the  everlasting  arms."  But  Julie  scarcely 
heard  or  heeded  5  but  one  thought  was  hers,  alone  in 
the  world  without  her  friend  she  could  not  live,— the 
same  grave  would  surely  hold  them  both.  The  blow 
came,  but  it  was  not  crushing}  it  seemed  more  as 
if  the  prophet's  mantle,  as  of  old,  had  fallen  on  her  suc- 
cessor. She  seemed  to  feel  as  if  God  Himself  called 
her  to  the  work,  and  spoke  to  her  as  to  Jeren:»iah  of 
old,  and,  therefore,  when  the  committee  elected  her  as 
head,  she  seemed  to  accept  the  post  almost  unques- 
tioningly.  In  a  few  months  more  the  president,  founder, 
and  father  of  the  little  institution  was  laid  in  the  same 
plot  in  "  God's  acre  "  as  that  which  contained  the  now 

mouldering  form  of  Sister .  Julie  seemed  truly  left 

alone  ;  by  those  graves  she  stood  and  felt  in  her  inmost 


466 


APPENDIX. 


soul  a  deeper  assurance  of  her  heavenly  Father's  presence 
and  unfailing  strength.  And  by  these  graves  we  stood  as 
she  told  me  this  touching  story.  All  was  not  bright, 
however  J  it  needed  the  constant  heavenly  whisper,  "  I 
am  with  thee,"  perchance  more  the  simple  hearing  of 
His  voice,  for  with  it  perhaps  was  too  much  mingled 
the  feeling  as  if  the  guardian  angel  of  the  last  few  years 
was  still  with  her,  though  invisibly.  Perhaps  thejealous 
God  would  teach  her  to  think  only  of  His  love  and 
care.  What  had  not  the  poor  little  shrinking  Juhe  to 
suffer  from  the  jealousies  of  the  sisters,  that  that  child 
should  be  put  over  them,  that  she  who  had  hitherto 
needed  constant  guiding  even  in  the  minutest  details 
of  life  should  now  guide  them  !  Oh,  the  lessons  to  be 
learned  of  weanedness  from  all  creature  help!  oh,  the 
bitter  tears  shed  in  that  secret  chamber  when  learning 
the  salutary  lesson,  "  The  Lord  is  friendly  !"  (Der  Herr 
ist  freundlich,  the  German  translation  of  *^ The  Lord  is 
good").  No  earthly  friend,  no  earthly  adviser,  but  an 
ever  present  omnipotent  and  compassionate  heavenly 
Friend.  Months  again  passed  over  her,  she  had  trial 
in  her  work  but  joy  in  her  Lord.  Then  sickness  came, 
severe  dangerous  illness  ;  and  with  the  startling  convic- 
tion that  they  might  soon  lose  their  gentle  timid  head, 
there  came  to  the  sisters'  minds  a  conviction  of  all  their 


APPENDIX. 


467 


evil  conduct  towards  her,  and  one  vied  with  another  in 
their  care  of  her,  and  in  united  prayer  they  asked  of 
the  Lord  forgiveness  for  their  past  neglect,  and  a  token 
of  that  forgiveness,  in  their  now  dear  sister's  restoration 
to  health.  Long  and  tedious  was  her  recovery,  but  now 
that  bright  and  happy  sister  feels,  amid  all  her  work  and 
trials  too,  that  the  Lord  Himself  has  trained  and  is 
training  her-  and  in  this  strength  she  goes  on  ui  her 
daily  work,  though  the  natural  timidity  sometimes  peeps 
out,  still  she  is  happy  in  her  position,  and  happy  in  the 
sisters'  love.  Sister  Trinette  at  Reihen  is  not  more  re- 
spected than  is  the  young  Julie  at  Zurich,  and  there  is 
more  of  harmony  and  real  union  and  communion  to  be 
found  in  the  institution  governed  by  the  latter.  Here  I 
first  learned  the  inestimable  value  of  our  authorized 
translation  of  the  Bible;  no  one  can  imagine  who  has 
not  tried  it  what  difficulty  and  confusion  in  a  B.ble- 
class  results,  when  its  members  read  or  repeat  texts,  one 
out  of  Luther's,  another  out  of  Zwingle's  Bible.  Some- 
times in  the  social  evening  readings  at  family  prayer, 
these  slight  differences  threw  great  light  on  some  pas- 
sage, bu»^  this  is  when  you  have  the  Bibles  open  to- 
gether 3  it  requires  great  familiarity  with  both  to  be 
able  to  refer  to  texts  so  differently  quoted,  and  I  was 
surprised  to  find  such  ignorance  of  the  Bible  among  the 


468  APPENDIX. 


deaconesses  of  the  various  Institutions  I  visited,  com- 
pared with  those  of  Kaisersvverth.  The  study  and 
familiarity  with  the  Bible  there  inculcated  and  required 
is  a  very  important  and  necessary  point  of  imitation. 
At  evening  prayer  at  Zurich,  the  a])pointed  portion  is 
read  verse  about,  and  then  the  thoughts  suggested  by  any 
passage  are  mentioned  by  any  present ;  the  head  sister 
selecting,  a  text  from  the  chapter  as  the  thought  for  the 
night.     The  sisters  take  it  by  turns  to  pray. 

MULHAUS 

Is  a  branch  of  Strasburg,  but  is  a  larger  offshoot  than 
are  many  independent  deaconess  homes.  The  work  of 
the  sisters  here  is  threefold  :  first,  the  government  hos- 
pital is  under  their  care  they,  conforming  to  certain  re- 
gulations. It  is  a  large  well-organized  institution,  and  I 
think  it  is  one  of  those  whose  internal  arrangements,  as 
far  as  the  plan  of  the  building  goes,  are  quoted  by  Miss 
Nightingale  with  approbation. 

Secondly,  an  old  man's  home  under  the  care  of  an 
elderly  sister. 

Thirdly,  parochial  deaconesses.  These  live  in  a 
separate  house  under  the  control  of  their  own  superin- 
tendent sister,  and  are  quite  distinct  from  those  in  the 
hospital.     A  few  spare  rooms  are  given  up  to  form  a 


APPENDIX.  469 


small  invalid  home,  but  the  business  of  these  sisters  is 
with  the  poor  of  the  district. 

Mulhaus  is  a  large  manufacturing  town,  but  the 
heads  of  the  factories  seem  to  vie  with  each  other  in 
providing  for  the  comfort  of  their  workpeople.  The 
inhabitants  are  almost  exck;sively  Protestants.  Each 
sister  has  a  certain  district  allotted  to  her;  she  is  under 
a  committee  of  ladies;  the  owner  of  the  factory, 
among  whose  people  she  works,  pays  the  rent  of  a 
small  house  for  her  in  her  di.^trict,  and  she  has  the 
charge  of  the  fund  allowed  for  the  poor  and  sick  of 
the  quarter.  In  her  little  house  the  parish  doctor 
meets  his  patients;  she  receives  his  orders  respecting 
them,  and  compounds  his  prescriptions;  she  also  ac- 
companies him  in  his  visits,  and  attends  to  the  carrying 
out  of  his  wishes ;  in  cases  of  necessity  she  sits  up  at 
night  with  her  patients,  but  on  account  of  her  heavy 
day-work  this  must  not  be  too  often.  The  deaconess 
has  her  appointed  hours  for  visiting;  at  certain  times 
her  poor  know  they  will  find  her  in  her  mission-room, 
and  there  they  come  to  her  for  counsel.  She  cuts 
out  and  gives  out  cloth  to  be  made,  which  is  after- 
wards sold  at  cost  price.  She  has  her  servant  and  her 
garden, — the  servant  prepares  the  soup,  which  on  cer- 
tain days   is  given  to  those  who  have  tickets,  and  at 


47°  APPENDIX. 


Other  times  is  specially  made  for  invalids.  When  the 
sister  is  in  her  district,  the  servant  receives  any  mes- 
sages which  may  be  left  for  her  j  she  also  assists  the 
sister  in  the  garden,  which  is  expected  to  provide  the 
herbs  and  vegetables  necessary  for  the  soup.  At  night 
tlie  sister  returns  to  the  "  Home,"  though  ihe  house 
furnishes  a  bed-room,  where  in  severe  weather  or  un- 
der special  circumstances  she  spends  the  night.  The 
model  sisters'  house  is  that  bu  It  in  connection  with  the 
remarkable  *' Mulhausen  Cite  ouvriere,"  a  most  perfect 
provision  for  all  the  wants  of  working-men. 

Each  little  hous.-  has  four  rooms,  and  is  divided  be- 
tween two  families,  each  having  their  own  small 
garden.  A  most  comfortable  eating-house,  also  bath 
and  washing  establishment,  provide  cheap  comforts 
and  save  the  women  both  labour  and  expense.  The 
arrangements  seem  so  perfect  that  it  seems  were  such 
"  Cites  ouvrieres  "  more  universally  provided,  the  poor 
would  almost  cease  out  of  our  land,  but  even  in 
Mulhaus  all  the  poor  are  not  so  well  provided  for. 
As  many  of  the  parish  sisters  as  are  able  return  to 
the  Home  to  dinner,  and  before  again  returning  to 
their  work  the  little  band  kneel  to  ask  that  God's 
blessing  may  accompany  them. 


APPENDIX— (C.) 


HOSPITAL   TRAINING   AND    NURSING    IN    THE    UNITED 
STATES. 

[In  the  preparation  of  an  American  edition  of  this  work,  the 
publishers  have  felt  that  it  might  be  well  to  give  a  brief  sketch 
of  what  has  been  done  and  is  doing  by  benevolent  ladies  in  the 
United  States  for  the  objects  to  which  Miss  Jones,  Miss  Night- 
ingale, Mrs.  Ranyard,  and  others  in  England,  have  devoted  their 
lives,  and  they  have  therefore  requested  a  gentleman  who  has 
been  for  years  thoroughly  familiar  with  the  various  phases  of  this 
work,  to  prepare  for  them  an  appendix,  giving  such  particulars  of 
it  as  might  be  of  general  interest. — Publishers.] 

THE  condition  of  society  in  England  and  Ireland 
differs  in  so  many  respects  from  that  in  the  United 
States,  that  it  would  not  be  strange  if  there  were  none 
of  our  philanthropic  women  whose  career  furnished  an 
exact  parallel  with  that  of  the  noble-hearted  Christian 


472  APPENDIX. 


woman  whose  story  is  so  admirably  told  in  this  vol- 
ume ;  and  yet,  allowing  for  those  differences,  it  would 
not  be  difficult  to  find  a  considerable  number  who 
might  claim  a  sisterhood  with  her  from  their  abundant 
labors.  Yet  such  women  as  Agnes  E.  Jones  are  few 
in  any  country,  and  those  on  this  side  the  ocean  who 
are  most  like  her  in  self-denial,  self-sacrifice,  and 
executive  ability,  would  be  the  last  to  feel  that  they 
were  entitled  to  such  honor. 

I  have  said  that  the  condition  of  society  was  differ- 
ent. There  is  a  greater  feeling  of  equality  in  our  com- 
munity;  the  poor  who  have  not  lost  heart  and  ambition 
look  forward,  at  no  distant  day,  to  becoming  as  weal- 
thy, and  li\ing  as  well,  as  the  opulent  farmer,  trades- 
man, merchant,  or  lawyer,  who  now  enjoys  his  villa, 
his  equipage,  and  his  yacht  in  their  vicinity  ;  and  there 
is  hence  little  or  nothing  of  that  mutual  relation  of 
the  wealthy  and  the  poor,  the  helper  and  the  helped, 
which  makes  the  ministrations  of  this  sort  of  charity 
so  touching  in  Great  Britain  and  Ireland.  The  poor 
who  have  lost  heart  and  hope — and  we  have  such — 
are  for  the  most  part  of  foreign  birth,  and  receive  as- 
sistance too  often  with  a  sulky  air,  and  a  manner  which 
indicates  that  they  regard  it  as  their  right,  and  would 
prefer  to  take  it  with  the  strong  hand,  rather  than  have 


APPENDIX. 


473 


it  bestowed  upon  them  by  those  who  would  fain  be- 
friend them.  Our  native  paupers  and  families  of  the 
poor  in  the  rural  districts  have,  except  where  crime 
has  induced  the  poverty,  so  much  pride  and  unwilling- 
ness to  seem  poor,  that  they  are  often  ungracious  to 
those  who  try  to  mingle  religious  influences  with  their 
charities. 

In  the  cities,  the  great  mass  of  the  poor  and  depend- 
ent are  of  foreign  birth  or  parentage,  and  so  much 
under  the  control  of  a  Roman  Catholic  priesthood 
that  they  are  hardly  accessible  to  Protestant  influences, 
except  in  the  matter  of  mere  sustenance,  clothing, 
and  money ;  and  very  often  any  suggestion  looking  to 
reform,  in  regard  to  intemperance  or  other  vices,  is 
resented  as  meddling  with  their  religion.  Yet  more 
has  been  done  with  these  classes  than  could  have  been 
expected,  though  not  so  much  as  is  to  be  desired. 
The  city  missions,  industrial  schools,  houses  of  indus- 
try, newsboys'  lodging-houses,  temporary  homes  for 
girls,  homes  for  the  friendless,  women's  homes,  work- 
ingwomen's  boarding-houses,  and  helping-hand  associa- 
tions, all,  or  nearly  all,  owe  their  existence,  primarily, 
to  the  wise  thought  of  some  benevolent  woman,  who 
has  seen  the  needs  of  the  poor  and  has  skilfully  de- 
vised ways  and  means  for  helping  them. 


474  APPENDIX. 


We  do  not  speak  in  this  connection  of  the  associa- 
tions for  improving  the  condition  of  the  poor,  houses  of 
refuge,  juvenile  asylums,  children's  aid  societies,  prison 
associations,  houses  of  correction,  reform  schools,  etc., 
etc.,  because  these,  which  are  in  part  correctional  and 
in  part  governmental,  originated  mostly  with  the  other 
sex. 

The  organizations  for  the  reclamation  of  fallen 
women  (and  it  is  worth  while  to  note,  just  here,  that 
our  benevolent  work  in  this  country  is  done  much 
more  largely  through  organizations  tlian  in  England) 
have  mostly  been  originated  and  managed  by  benevo- 
lent women  ;  they  have  been  very  successful  in  most 
of  our  large  cities,  and  have  compelled  the  keepers  of 
houses  of  prostitution  to  resort  to  a  great  variety  of 
expedients  to  keep  their  houses  full.  Still,  in  seaports, 
and  great  cities  generally,  there  is  so  large  a  vicious 
population,  that  the  utmost  exertion  in  this  depart- 
ment of  humanitarian  effort  can  do  little  more  than  to 
prevent  an  increase  of  the  class. 

Bible  reading,  and  the  sale  of  Bibles  in  weekly 
small  instalments,  as  well  as  tract  distribution,  is  main- 
tained in  all  our  larger  cities,  though  not  exclusively 
by  women.  The  city  missionaries,  tract  visitors,  and 
Bible  readers  are  of  both  sexes,  and  accomplish  in  the 


APPENDIX.  475 


aggregate  a  vast  amount  of  good.  It  is  but  just  to 
say,  however,  that  in  none  of  our  cities  have  we  an 
agency  for  lay  mission  work  among  the  poor  and  de- 
graded exactly  analogous  to  Mrs,  Ranyard's  Mission 
and  Corps  of  liible-women.  Some  of  the  class,  and 
those  dwelling  in  some  sections  of  our  seaports,  are 
perhaps  reached  even  more  effectively  than  she  has 
been  able  to  do  in  London ;  while  others  are  almost 
entirely  neglected. 

The  charitable  educational  work  has  been  more 
thoroughly  accomplished  here  than  in  the  British  cities, 
partly  from  the  fact  that  our  public  educational  system, 
so  far  as  primary  education  is  concerned,  is  more  per- 
vasive and  universal  than  the  British,  and  partly  be- 
cause the  greater  part  of  our  mission  schools,  refuges, 
juvenile  and  orphan  asylums,  industrial  schools,  etc., 
are  the  recipients  of  liberal  appropriations  from  the 
public  school  moneys,  and  are  subject  to  the  visitation 
of  the  school  superintendents.  The  system  of  depor- 
tation practised  by  many  of  the  reformatories,  asylums, 
and  orphanages,  by  means  of  which  vagrant  children, 
petty  thieves,  and  friendless  girls  of  the  lower  classes 
are  trained  in  good  and  well-conducted  schools,  taught 
the  principles  of  morality  and  religion,  and  then  placed 
in  good  homes  in  the  West,  where  they  are  further 


476  APPENDIX. 


educated  and  brought  under  good  home  influences,  is 
one  of  those  measures  which,  while  it  is  impossible  in 
Great  Britain,  has  been  of  great  benefit  here. 

The  hospital  work,  in  most  of  its  departments,  has 
been  conducted  by  women  on  a  larger  scale  here,  per- 
haps, than  anywhere  else  in  the  world.  We  have 
within  the  last  decade  passed  through  a  great  and  ter- 
rible war ;  and  in  that  war,  in  the  general,  camp,  and 
field  hospitals,  and  in  the  preparation,  collection,  and 
despatch  of  supplies  for  the  sick  and  wounded  in  those 
hospitals,  more  than  ten  thousand  women  were  dili- 
gently employed  for  the  greater  portion  of  the  four 
years  during  which  the  war  continued. 

The  greater  part  were,  of  course,  engaged  in  the 
preparation  of  hospital  clothing,  furniture,  and  stores, 
or  in  its  collection  and  despatch,  but  somewhat  more 
than  two  thousand  were  actually  engaged  in  nursing, 
or  in  superintending  and  organizing  hospitals.  A  very 
few  of  them  had  had  the  advantage  of  previous  hos- 
pital training,  like  that  which  Miss  Jones  enjoyed  at 
Kaiserswerth,  and  subsequently  at  the  training-school 
of  St.  Thomas's  Hospital.  Of  these  few,  the  most 
conspicuous  were  the  Blackwell  sisters,  who  had, 
years  before,  acquired  a  thorough  medical  education, 
and  had  at  that  time   added  to  their  large  practice  a 


APPENDIX.  477 


hospital  and  infirmary  for  women  and  children.  These 
ladies  maintained  for  a  time,  at  the  beginning  of  the 
war,  a  training-school  for  nurses,  in  which  they  gave 
instruction  in  the  care  of  the  wounded,  and  in  those 
matters  of  minor  surgery  which  were  of  importance  to 
those  who  were  to  be  employed  in  tlie  hospitals  in  all 
possible  ways ;  they  gave  to  the  cause  their  skill,  their 
influence,  and,  when  needed,  their  personal  services. 
The  Superior  of  the  ''  Protestant  Sisterhood  of  the 
Holy  Communion,"  a  trained  nurse,  educated  at  Kai- 
serswerth,  and  in  1861,  as  for  some  years  previous, 
the  lady  Superintendent  of  St.  Luke's  Hospital, 
though  she  was  unable  to  leave  her  position,  trained 
many  excellent  nurses  for  the  army.  A  similar  service 
was  rendered  by  Mrs.  Adaline  Tyler,  of  Baltimore, 
the  head  of  another  Protestant  sisterhood,  who  had  at 
the  commencement  of  the  war  already  been  for  five 
years  engaged  in  similar  labours  of  love  and  charity  in 
Baltimore  to  those  which  fall  to  the  lot  of  the  Kaisers- 
werth  deaconesses.  Mrs.  Tyler  was  during  two  years 
of  the  war  at  the  head  of  large  Government  hospitals 
at  Chester,  Pennsylvania,  and  at  Annapolis,  Maryland. 
The  Lutheran  deaconesses  of  Baltimore  and  Phila- 
delphia, several  of  them  educated  at  Kaiserswerth, 
rendered  valuable  services  in  various  capacities  in  the 


478  APPENDIX. 


hospitals  of  those  cities  and  Washington.  Miss  Emily 
E.  Parsons,  a  daughter  of  the  distinguished  law-pro- 
fessor of  Harvard  University,  and  herself  a  most  ac- 
complished scholar,  secured  from  the  surgeons  of  the 
Massachusetts  General  Hospital  a  training  an:ilogous 
to  that  given  to  nurses  in  the  St.  Thomas's  Hospital. 
After  a  year  and  a  half  of  this  instruction  and  practice, 
she  was  placed  in  charge  of  a  large  hospital,  first  near 
New  York,  and  afterwards  at  St.  Louis,  Mo.  The 
services  she  rendered  were  of  the  very  highest  order. 
At  St.  Louis  she  had  under  her  charge,  at  times,  two 
thousand  patients  and  a  corps  of  volunteer  nurses,  be- 
side the  male  nurses  employed  by  the  Government. 
Since  the  conclusion  of  the  war,  Miss  Parsons  has 
founded  and  now  manages  an  admirable  hospital  for 
women  and  children  in  Cambridge,  Massachusetts. 

Miss  Dix,  the  General  Superintendent  of  Nurses  at 
Washington,  had  had  many  years  of  experience  and 
training  in  connection  with  her  well-known  philan- 
thropic labours  for  the  insane  and  for  prisoners.  She 
possessed  remarkable  administrative  powers  and  a 
thorough  knowledge  of  every  department  of  hospital 
work,  and  since  the  war,  though  in  feeble  health,  has 
devoted  herself  with  renewed  energy  to  her  labours  in 
behalf  of  the  insane. 


APPENDIX.  479 


Of  the  other  ladies  who  organized  or  superin- 
tended hospitals,  and  were  most  distinguished  for  their 
executive  abiHty,  Miss  Breckenridge,  Mrs.  Menden- 
hall,  Mrs.  Marsh,  Mrs.  Parrish,  and  perhaps  one  or 
two  more,  had  had,  directly  or  indirectly,  hospital 
training,  or  its  equivalent — the  husbands  of  the  last 
three  being  surgeons,  and  having  instructed  their  wives 
in  some  branches  of  the  art  of  nursing.  Miss  Clara 
Barton,  who  has  since  distinguished  herself  as  an  or- 
ganizer of  hospitals  and  of  other  benevolent  enter- 
prises for  the  relief  of  the  sufferers  in  the  late  Franco- 
German  war,  had  had  only  a  home  training  and  some 
study  of  practical  works  on  medicine  and  surgery. 
Mrs.  Bickerdyke  and  Mrs.  Russell  had  been  house- 
keepers and  nurses  before  the  war,  while  Miss  Helen 
L.  Gilson,  Miss  Mary  J.  Safford,  Mrs.  Arabella  G. 
Barlow,  Mrs.  Woolsey  and  her  daughters  and  nieces, 
Miss  Maria  M.  L.  Hall,  Miss  Wormeley,  Miss  Clara 
Davis,  Miss  Anna  M.  Ross,  Mrs.  Nellie  M.  Taylor, 
Mrs.  General  Hawley,  Mrs.  Cordelia  Harvey,  Mrs. 
Henrietta  L.  Colt,  and  many  others  of  nearly  equal 
celebrity  and  merit,  entered  upon  the  work  without 
any  previous  training.  The  mortality  among  these 
noble  women  was  fearful.  Four  of  those  above  named 
did  not  live  through  the  war,  and  three  more  did  not 


480  APPENDIX. 


long  survive  it.  Ail  died  of  overwork.  Whether 
.their  work  would  not  have  been  accomplished  with 
more  ease  and  less  wear  upon  the  system  if  they  had 
had  a  previous  hospital  training,  is  hardly  a  question. 

Still  another  class  who  were  very  useful  and  effi- 
cient as  managers,  especially  in  the  camp  and  field 
hospitals,  were  married  ladies  of  middle  age — most  of 
whom  had  brought  up  families  of  their  own,  and  had, 
from  a  natural  predilection  for  it,  acquired  consider- 
able reputation  in  the  care  of  the  sick  before  the  war. 
Among  these  the  names  of  Mrs.  John  Harris,  Mrs. 
Mary  Morris  Husband,  both  of  Philadelphia;  Mrs. 
Eliza  Potter-,  of  Charleston,  who  had,  in  several  epi- 
demics of  yellow  fever  in  that  city,  devoted  herself  to 
the  care  of  its  victims  when  others  fled  from  the  pesti- 
lence, and  who  ministered  to  the  Union  prisoners  and 
wounded  with  a  mother's  tenderness  ;  Mrs.  Eaton  of 
Portland,  Mrs.  Fenn  of  Pittsfield,  Mrs.  Hoge  and  Mrs. 
Livermore  of  Chicago,  Mrs.  Mary  W.  Lee  of  Phila- 
delphia, Mrs.  W.  H.  Holstein  of  Montgomery  Co., 
Pa.,  Mrs.  Lizzie  Farr  of  Norwalk,  Ohio,  Mrs.  Jere- 
miah Porter  of  Chicago,  Mrs.  Fogg  of  Calais,  Maine, 
and  many  others,  will  be  at  once  recalled  by  those 
who  are  familiar  with  the  work  accomplished  by  Chris- 
tian women  in  the  war. 


APPENDIX.  48J 


The  emancipation  proclamation  of  January,  1863, 
which  hberated  nearly  four  millions  of  human  beings 
from  slavery,  opened  another  field  of  philanthropic  la- 
bor to  Christian  women,  with  even  less  of  romance 
and  more  of  peril  in  it  than  the  hospital  work.  The 
freedmen  were  anxious  for  the  rudiments  of  education 
for  themselves  and  their  children.  Very  few  of  them 
could  read,  and  they  were  very  poor,  ignorant,  and 
degraded,  from  their  protracted  servitude,  while  many 
of  the  vices  of  the  servile  condition  still  clung  to 
them.  More  than  a  thousand  educated,  refined,  and 
cultivated  women  volunteered  to  teach  these  just 
emancipated  negroes  the  elements  of  learning  and 
the  first  principles  of  Christianity.  At  first  they  had 
only  to  encounter  the  privations  of  regions  desolated 
by  war,  and  rendered  barren  by  long  years  of  wasteful 
and  slovenly  cultivation  ;  but  very  soon  after  the  close 
of  the  war,  the  old  hostility  between  the  poor  whites 
and  the  negroes,  stimulated,  in  some  instances,  by 
the  prompting  of  former  slaveholders,  broke  out  with 
a  new  fury,  and  not  a  few  of  these  devoted  and  faith- 
ful teachers  paid  for  their  zeal  with  the  sacrifice  of 
their  lives,  while  others  were  driven  from  their  schools 
with  the  foulest  abuse.  A  considerable  number  still 
adhere  to   their  work,  and  have  succeeded  in   livincr 


482  APPENDIX. 


down  the  opposition  which  at  first  threatened  their 
destruction.  Others,  in  other  spheres  of  duty,  are 
still  aiding  and  helping  to  elevate  the  freedmen. 

''But,"  it  may  be  said,  "why  bring  forward  the 
names  of  these  philantlisropic  toilers  now  ?  They  may 
have  been,  and  doubtless  were,  zealous  and  efficient 
workers  in  their  time,  but  the  heat  and  pressure  of  a 
great  war,  and  the  moral  stimulus  of  the  emancipation 
of  four  millions  of  people  from  slavery,  are  not  the 
just  measure  of  the  every-day  philanthropy  of  your 
country,  and  we  cannot  judge  of  its  present  condition 
in  this  respect  by  a  recital  of  what  was  accomplished 
during  the  war." 

There  is  some  force  in  this  objection.  No  nation, 
however  benevolent  and  earnest  its  people  may  be, 
can  keep  its  philanthropic  Avork  up  to  the  war  stand- 
ard in  years  of  peace.  There  is  no  necessity  that 
they  should  ;  for  imperfect  as  may  be  the  operation  of 
the  agencies  which  attempt  to  provide  for  the  poor, 
the  ignorant,  and  the  degraded,  the  sick  and  the  pri- 
soners, in  time  of  peace,  the  machinery  needful  for 
the  great  emergencies  of  war  would  be  found  alto- 
gether too  ponderous  for  the  necessities  of  such  a  pe- 
riod. It  would  be  as  if  the  huge  boilers  and  engines 
of  one  of  our  great  ocean  steamships  were  put  into 


APPENDIX.  483 


one  of  our  little  river  and  harbor  tugs,  to  propel  it, 
and  enable  it  to  tow  vessels  about  the  harbor.  Its 
great  size  and  weight  would  completely  destroy  the 
usefulness  of  the  tug. 

Yet  it  is  true  that  all  these  great  occasions  have 
developed  some  of  the  world's  most  earnest  and  effi- 
cient workers.  Florence  Nightingale  would  have 
been  a  nurse,  and  an  admirable  one,  and  possibly  an 
organizer  of  some  method  of  training  nurses,  if  the 
Crimean  Avar  had  never  occurred;  but  her  name  and 
her  labours  would  have  been  unknown,  and  she  never 
would  have  been  the  means  of  accomplishing  a  hun- 
dredth part  of  the  good  she  had  done,  but  for  the  posi- 
tion wliich  she  was  called  to  fill  in  connection  with 
that  war  ;  and  how  many  of  her  associates  would  have 
ever  undertaken  such  labours,  but  for  her  noble  exam- 
ple ?  The  influence  which  her  position  in  that  war 
gave  her  has  been  exerted  for  good  upon  hundreds 
and  thousands  of  her  sex  ever  since  ;  and  though  her 
health  was  permanently  impaired  by  her  labours  at  that 
time,  she  has  accomplished  more,  infinitely  more,  than 
any  woman  without  her  experience  could  have  done, 
even  with  the  most  perfect  health. 

Such,  too,  have  been  the  results  of  the  ])hilanthropic 
labours  of  our  own  great  war.    We  have  already  alluded 


484  APPENDIX. 


to  the  fearful  sacrifice  of  life  among  these  faithful 
toilers  in  the  hospitals,  the  work-rooms,  and  the  rude 
school-houses  where  the  freedmen  and  their  children 
were  taught.  It  was  painfully  true,  that  in  these  la- 
bours of  love  many  a  fair  face  gi-ew  pale,  many  a  quick, 
joyous  step  became  slow  and  feeble  ;  and  ever  and  anon 
the  light  went  out  of  eyes,  which  but  a  little  while  be- 
fore had  flashed  and  glowed  in  conscious  beauty  and 
pride.  But  though  the  cheeks  might  grow  pale,  the 
step  feeble,  and  the  eyes  dim,  there  was  a  holier  and 
more  transcendent  beauty  remaining  than  that  which 
had  departed.  Of  one  of  these,  whose  young  life  was 
sacrificed  to  her  incessant  labours,  much  as  Miss  Jones's 
was,  by  her  overwork  in  the  Liverpool  Infirmary,  a 
fellow-worker  has  beautifully  said  :  "  We  looked  daily 
to  see  the  halo  surround  her  head,  for  it  seemed  as  if 
God  would  not  suffer  so  pure  and  saintly  a  soul  to 
walk  the  earth,  without  a  visible  manifestation  of  his 
love  for  her." 

Yet  these  women  did  not  die  in  vain.  It  has  often 
been  said  that  "  the  blood  of  the  martyrs  was  the  seed 
of  the  Church  ; "  and  these  brave,  noble-hearted  wo- 
men, though  as  truly  martyrs  as  any  of  those  recorded 
in  the  Church's  history,  laid  not  down  their  lives  until 
others  were  found  who  had  imbibed  their  spirit  and 


APPENDIX.  485 


entered  into  their  labours  ;  and  from  these  have  come 
some  of  our  most  efficient  labourers  in  the  glorious 
work  of  elevating  humanity,  of  cheering  the  sorrow- 
ing, raising  the  fallen,  caring  for  the  sick,  the  oppressed, 
the  prisoner,  and  the  friendless,  and  teaching  the  igno- 
rant. 

Those,  too,  who  had  survived  the  labours  of  the 
war,  have  felt  that  they  could  not  return  to  the  gaye- 
ties  and  frivolities  of  fashionable  life ;  they  had  been 
too  near  the  eternal  world,  and  had  had  too  close  and 
familiar  intercourse  with  those  who,  after  life's  strug- 
gles, had  passed  through  the  gates  of  pearl  and  were 
now  walking  the  golden  streets  of  the  City  of  our  God ; 
nay,  in  those  moments  of  spiritual  enlightenment 
which  come  to  the  soul  \yhen  it  is  accompanying  the 
spirits  of  the  departing,  they  had  themselves  caught 
glimpses  of  the  glories  of  the  heavenly  state,  and 
through  those  gates  of  pearl  had  been  dazzled  by  the 
rays  of  that  light  which  proceeds  from  the  throne  of 
God. 

To  them,  after  these  experiences,  terrestrial  pleas- 
ures and  joys  seemed  flat,  stale,  and  unprofitable. 
Their  hearts  longed  for  serious,  earnest,  beneficent 
work,  and  when  the  wearied  body  had  recovered  from 
its  long  and  exhausting  labours,  and  health  and  return- 


486  APPENDIX. 


ing  strength  again  wooed  them  to  philanthropic  work, 
they  looked  anxiously  about  them  to  see  what  was  to 
be  done. 

For  some  of  them  there  were,  at  this  time,  home 
duties  which,  though  at  first  irksome,  seemed  so  evi- 
dently appointed  for  them  of  God,  that  they  entered 
upon  them  with  an  earnestness  which  soon  made  them 
a  delight. 

Others  were  free  from  these  ties,  and  did  not  desire 
to  be  bound  by  them.  To  such,  the  inquiry  was  one 
of  greater  significance.  They  felt  that  they  had  been 
useful,  and  they  were  capable,  with  their  experience, 
of  being  more  so  ;  in  the  numerous  instances  in  which 
their  work  had  been  brought  into  comparison  with 
that  of  tlie  other  sex,  they  had  not  failed  either  in 
executive  ability  or  in  the  perfection  or  excellence  of 
their  labours  ;  to  man  there  was  the  opportunity  of  re- 
turn to  his  former  vocations, — to  the  round  of  duties 
in  which  he  had  previously  been  engaged ;  to  them 
and  for  them  there  was  no  vocation  which  they  could 
specially  call  their  own. 

So  reasoned  some ;  not  wisely,  it  is  true,  yet  very 
naturally.  It  was  and  is  the  part  of  these  gifted 
women  to  make  for  themselves  a  sphere  of. usefulness, 
where  they  could  glorify  God  and  bless  humanity ;  and 


APPENDIX.  487 


to  many  of  them  the  way  to  accomphsh  this  became 
plain.  Their  zeal  had  triumphed  over  all  obstacles 
during  the  war ;  was  it  more  difficult  to  do  so  in  time 
of  peace  ? 

To  a  few,  a  very  few,  of  these  women,  the  idea  of 
the  emancipation  of  woman  by  giving  her  the  ballot, 
and  permitting  her  to  enter  upon  the  devious  ways  of 
political  and  partisan  strife,  presented  very  adroidy  by 
its  advocates,  seemed  a  satisfactory  answer  to  the 
question  which  was  agitating  their  minds.  TJiey 
could  not  then  see  that,  in  his  specious  appeals  for 
their  aid,  the  tempter,  as  of  old  in  the  Garden  of  Eden, 
was  luring  them  away  from  the  paths  of  purity  and 
holiness,  and  that  beneath  the  fair-seeming  surface  of 
this  plea  for  female  emancipation  there  lay  hidden  the 
abominations  of  unhmited  divorce,  and  the  wildest 
orgies  of  "free  love."  The  delusion  found  but  few 
adherents  among  these  noble  women  when  its  hrst  gla- 
mour had  passed  away,  and  they  began  to  see  clearly. 
There  was,  nevertheless,  some  difficulty  (more  in  this 
country  than  in  Europe)  in  finding  exactly  the  work 
for  these  women  \\hich  their  hearts  craved.  The  hos- 
pital work  is  not,  among  Protestants,  so  much  in  the 
hands  of  women  in  the  United  States  as  in  Europe. 
It  is  far  less  so  than  it  should  be.     We  have  already 


488  APPENDIX. 


referred  to  the  founding  and  superintending  of  an  hos- 
pital for  women  and  children  by  Miss  Parsons  at.  Cam- 
bridge. There  are  in  New  York  City  two  hospitals 
for  women  (including  one  special  hospital,  there  are 
three) ;  these  are  for  the  most  part  supplied  with  female 
attendants,  and  several  of  the  others,  notably  "  St. 
Luke's  Hospital"  (F.piscopal),  "St.  Vincent's"  (Ro- 
man Cathohc),  "  The  Stranger's  Hospital,"  and  per- 
haps two  or  three  more,  have  the  nursing  mostly  un- 
der the  superintendence  of  intelligent  and  capable 
women.  The  Foundling  Hospital,  and  the  various 
Lying-in  Asylums  and  Hospitals,  are  also  mainly  in  the 
charge  of  women.  But  most  of  the  larger  hospitals 
are  under  the  care  of  male  nurses,  or  a  lower  grade  of 
female  nurses,  not  very  competent,  and  receiving  but 
small  wages.  The  workhouses,  almshouses,  and 
houses  of  detention  in  our  large  cities,  though  some 
of  them  as  extensive  as  those  of  Liverpool,  where 
Miss  Jones  created  such  a  revolution,  have  been 
mostly  served  by  nurses  selected  from  their  inmates, 
and  have  never  yet  been  under  the  intelligent  care  of 
a  thoroughly  trained  and  competent  lady  superintend- 
ent of  nurses. 

Recently  considerable  efforts  have  been  made  to 
elevate  the  care  and  nursing  of  the  sick  to  the  dignity 


APPENDIX.  489 


of  a  profession,  and  to  induce  intelligent  and  educated 
women  to  pass  through  a  course  of  training  to  qualify 
themselves  for  the  work.  There  are  very  many  young 
women  who  have  a  natural  vocation  for  this  work,  and 
whose  position  is  such  that  they  must,  in  part  at  least, 
provide  for  their  own  support,  to  whom  this  would  be 
a  most  honorable  and  useful  calling.  Our  physicians, 
especially  since  physical  and  positive  diagnosis  by 
means  of  the  thermometer,  the  observation  of  the 
pulse  and  respiration,  have  become  such  important  ad- 
juvants to  successful  treatment  of  disease,  are  calling 
for  skilful  nurses,  who  shall  be  able  to  make  the  neces- 
sary observations  with  accuracy  and  report  to  them. 
This  delicate  duty  can  be  performed  much  more  suc- 
cessfully by  intelligent  women  than  by  men.  In  many 
thousands  of  families,  too,  a  woman  of  refinement  and 
culture,  who  devoted  herself  to  the  care  of  the  sick, 
would  be  prized  as  a  personal  friend,  and  her  services 
would  be  willingly  and  largely  compensated.  Miss 
Nightingale's  appeal  on  this  subject,  in  the  introduc- 
tion to  this  work,  is  worthy  of  careful  consideration, 
and  is  as  apphcable  to  the  United  States  as  to  Great 
Britain. 

Some  of  the  most  earnest  and  able  of  the  hospital 
workers  in  the  late  Civil  War  have  found  the  opportu- 


490 


APPENDIX. 


nity  of  usefulness  in  the  recent  wars  in  Europe.  In 
the  "Seven  Weeks'  War"  of  1866,  Miss  Mary  J.  Saf- 
ford,  a  young  lady  of  Cairo,  Illinois,  highly  accom- 
plished, and  who  had  impaired  her  health  by  her  ardu- 
ous labors  in  behalf  of  the  wounded  of  our  Western 
armies,  was  in  Europe,  and  aided  in  organizing  the 
hospitals  in  Italy,  and  in  caring  for  the  wounded. 
After  the  war  she  visited  Norway,  and  there  devised 
ways  and  means  for  the  emigration  of  peasant  girls  to 
the  United  States,  where  they  might  join  their  relatives 
who  had  already  migrated  thither.  Miss  Safford  is  one 
of  those  who  will  create  modes  of  usefulness,  if  she 
does  not  find  them  already  at  command. 

In  the  late  Franco-German  War,  and  the  Civil  War 
with  the  Commune  which  followed  it,  a  considerable 
number  of  American  ladies  have  taken  an  active  part 
in  organizing  and  superintending  hospitals,  ambulances, 
and  stations  of  relief.  Several  who  were  at  Paris  when 
the  war  commenced  united  with  English  ladies,  and 
with  gentlemen  from  both  England  and  America,  in 
fitting  up  and  attending  the  ambulances,  or  travelling 
hospitals,  which  cared  for  the  French  wounded ;  and 
some  of  them  continued  their  services  in  Paris  during 
the  siege  until  they  were  broken  up  and  their  supplies 
and  funds  confiscated  by  the  Commune.     The  Amer- 


APPENDIX.  491 


ican  woman,  however,  who  has  accomplished  most  for 
the  sick,  the  wounded,  and  the  starving  victims  of  the 
sieges  of  Strasbourg,  Paris,  and  other  cities,  is  one 
who  had  achieved  a  noble  reputation  in  our  own  war 
and  subsequent  to  it,— Miss  Clara  Barton.  Her  labours, 
and  the  good  she  accomplished  during  our  civil  war, 
are  matters  of  history,  and  so  widely  known  that  we 
need  only  refer  to  them.  She  ministered  to  our  sol- 
diers from  the  very  beginning  of  the  war,  first  in  hos- 
pitals in  Washington  and  its  vicinity,  afterward  in  field 
hospitals,  at  Cedar  AEountain,  Manassas,  Centreville, 
Chantilly,  Antietam,  and  Fredericksburg,  where  she 
was  lady  superintendent  of  the  Ninth  Corps  Hospital ; 
camped  on  the  sands  at  Morris  Island,  and  for  eight 
months  of  the  protracted  siege  of  Charleston,  made 
herself  the  ministering  angel  of  the  brave  corps  that 
demolished  Forts  Wagner,  Gregg,  and  Sumter.  In 
the  terrible  campaign  of  1864-5  she  was  again  for 
more  than  eight  months  in  charge  of  the  wounded, 
and  most  of  the  time  lady  superintendent  of  the  hos- 
pitals of  the  Army  of  the  James,  in  the  field.  After 
the  war  she  established,  at  her  own  cost,  a  "  Bureau 
of  Records  of  Missing  Men,"  and  where  she  could  not 
restore  to  families  their  long-missing  husbands,  brothers, 
and  sons,  she  was  able,  in  thousands  of  cases,  to  give 


492  APPENDIX. 


them  the  history  of  their  last  moments,  and  show  them 
where  they  were  laid.  In  1869  she  visited  Europe, 
and  in  July  and  August,  1870,  assisted  the  Duchess  of 
Mecklenburg-Schwerin,  and  some  of  the  other  German 
princesses,  in  organizing  their  hospitals  for  the  sick 
and  wounded.  When  Strasbourg  surrendered  (Sept. 
29,  1870)  she  entered  the  city  with  the  German  troops, 
and  immediately  established  industrial  rooms  at  her 
own  expense,  where  she  employed  nearly  three  hun- 
dred of  the  wives,  widows,  and  daughters  of  the  French 
soldiers  in  making  up  garments  for  distribution  among 
the  very  poor  of  that  cit)^,  thus  giving  to  her  charity  a 
double  force — by  employing  at  liberal  wages  all  who 
could  labour,  and  clothing  the  naked  by  means  of  that 
labour.  •  A  portion  of  this  large  expenditure  was  subse- 
quently refunded  to  her  by  the  Comite  de  Secours  of 
Strasbourg,  but  a  considerable  part,  as  well  as  all  her 
own  time  and  labour,  was  her  donation  to  the  suffering 
poor  of  that  city.  This  work  was  continued  until  the 
last  of  May,  when,  Strasbourg  being  restored  to  a  con- 
dition of  comparative  comfort,  she  forwarded  several 
thousand  garments  to  Paris,  and  entered  that  city  while 
the  fires  lit  by  the  Communists  were  still  burning,  and 
there  distributed  her  own  charities,  and  those  of  some 
of  her  American  friends,  for  six  weeks.  She  next  visited 


APPENDIX.  493 


Lyons,  and  at  the  last  reports  was  engaged  in  a  mis- 
sion of  charity  to  those  cities  and  towns  along  the 
Rhine  frontier  which  had  suffered  most  severely  from 
the  ravages  of  the  war.  Here,  too,  was  a  woman  who 
could  make  for  herself  the  opportunity  of  enlarged 
usefulness  without  forsaking  her  aj^propriate  sphere 
of  womanly  work. 

In  other  departments   of   Christian  activity  which 
pertain  to  women,  and  which  for  want  of   a   better 
term   we    may   perhaps    designate    as    "deaconess's 
^vork,"   many  of    our   American   women   have    done 
themselves  honour.     Of  those  who  were  most  active 
during  the  war,  some,  like  Mrs.  Bickerdyke,  Mrs.  Hos- 
mer    Mrs.  Wittenmyer,  Mrs.   Davis,  and  others,  have 
organized    and    superintended     ''Soldiers'   Homes;" 
others  have  gathered  the  orphan  children  of  the  sol- 
diers into  Homes  and  Schools,  and  cared  tenderly  for 
them-  others  still,  like  Miss  Brayton  and  Miss  Terry 
of  Cleveland,   have  combined  these   and  other  good 
works  for  the  cause   they  loved  ;  and   the  blessing  of 
those  that  were  ready  to  perish  has  come  upon  them. 
In  Cincinnati,  Chicago,  Boston,  New   York,  Phila- 
delphia,  and  Washington,  a  considerable  number  of 
these  earnest  workers  have  undertaken  a  painful  but 
most  thoroughly  Christian  work-the  reclamation  of 


494 


APPENDIX. 


fallen  women  ;  others,  deeply  and  justly  impressed 
with  the  perils  to  which  young  and  friendless  girls,  who 
come  to  our  large  cities  for  employment,  are  exposed, 
have  established  homes  and  lodging-houses  for  them. 
Still  others  have  founded  and  managed  Homes  and 
Protective  Unions  for  working-women.  A  consider- 
able number,  for  the  love  they  bear  to  Christ,  have 
become  city  missionaries,  Bible  readers,  tract  visitors, 
and  friends  of  the  poor,  the  sick,  and  the  prisoner. 
In  several  of  our  cities,  Helping  Hand  or  Good  Sa- 
maritan Associations  have  been  formed  by  the  prompt- 
ing of  some  of  these  Christian  women,  which  in  their 
various  departments  aim  to  reach  all  classes  needing 
either  spiritual  or  temporal  assistance.  Some,  in  imi- 
tation of  the  Divine  example,  have  associated  them- 
selves in  a  good  and  merciful  work — that  of  minister- 
ing to  strangers  who  are  sick  or  in  trouble  in  our  large 
cities,  and  have  taken  the  very  appropriate  name  of 
"  Sisters  of  the  Stranger."  To  others,  with  a  greater 
gift  for  teaching,  the  educational  work  in  mission 
schools,  industrial  schools.  Houses  of  Industry,  &c., 
has  been  committed  ;  while  some  fifty  or  sixty  have 
gone  as  missionaries  or  missionary  teachers  to  Syria, 
Turkey,  India,  Burmah,  China,  Siam,  to  the  African 
coast,  or  to  the  islands  of  the  Pacific. 


APPENDIX. 


495 


And  yet  there  is  abundant  room  for  many  more  to 
enter  on  these  various  fields  of  usefulness.  Vice  and 
crime,  ignorance  and  wretchedness,  poverty  and  sor- 
row, abound  in  our  world,  and  will  continue  to  do  so 
till  the  dawn  of  the  millennium.  There  is  no  grander, 
no  holier  work  in  the  universe  of  God,  than  that  of 
raising  the  fallen,  of  succouring  and  sustaining  the 
tempted,  of  causing  the  tears  of  penitence  and  humble 
faith  to  fall  from  eyes  long  blinded  by  sin,  of  pouring 
the  balm  of  consolation  into  bleeding  and  stricken 
hearts,  of  calming  the  stormy  rage  of  passion,  and 
soothing  the  violence  of  disease.  We  have  often 
thought  that  the  angels,  nay,  that  the  compassionate 
and  sympathizing  Redeemer  himself,  must  look  down 
with  peculiar  affection  and  tenderness  on  those  who 
thus  seek  to  follow  in  His  footsteps. 

Need  we  say  that  in  the  various  departments  of 
this  work  of  Christian  charit}', — the  visiting  of  the 
poor  at  their  homes,  rendering  them  assistance  and 
counsel  in  their  work,  and  in  the  art  of  making  home 
happy,  the  care  and  instruction  of  their  little  ones, — 
the  gathering  and  training  of  vagrant  and  wayward 
children  in  knowledge  and  religion,  the  nursing  and 
assistance  of  the  sick  poor,  the  performance  of  the 
last  sad  offices  to  the  dying,  the  soothing  and  comfort- 

2  K2 


496  APPENDIX. 


ing  of  the  bereaved, — the  providing  employment  for 
those  who  need  it,  and  the  bestowal  of  charity  where 
it  will  encourage,  and  not  pauperize  the  recipient ; — 
the  imparting  of  direct  religious  instruction,  either  by 
Bible  reading,  tract  distribution,  or  personal  and  kindly 
conversation,  and  other  works  of  Christian  charity, 
which  fall  to  the  lot  of  the  woman  who  has  thus  con- 
secrated herself  to  Christ,  there  is  needed  a  high  in- 
telligence, the  wisdom  which  is  from  above,  an  untir- 
ing zeal,  an  unfailing  patience,  and  those  winning  and 
gentle  manners  which  shall  draw  all  hearts  to  her,  and 
through  her  to  the  Master  whom  she  serves.  It  must 
be  to  her  a  vocation,  and  she  must  feel  that,  while  in 
God's  providence  she  is  called  to  this  work,  her  high- 
est powers  and  her  whole  soul  are  to  be  consecrated 
to  it  Yet  to  those  women  possessing  these  qualities, 
women  who  have  felt  the  joys  of  pardoned  sin,  and 
who  would  fain  do  something  for  Him  who  has  re- 
deemed them,  what  calling  can  be  more  attractive, 
w^hat  vocation  more  satisfying  to  the  soul  ?  They 
follow,  so  far  as  mortals  may,  in  the  footsteps  of  the 
Blessed  One  who,  in  all  his  earthly  pilgrimage,  left  no 
sorrow  unalleviated,  no  tear  undried,  save  His  own  ; 
and  will  it  not  be  to  them  the  great  and  sufficient 
recompense  for  all  their  cares,  their  sorrows,  and  their 


APPENDIX.  497 


weariness,  that,  standing  before  the  great  White  Throne, 
in  the  presence  of  an  assembled  universe,  the  King 
of  Glory  shall  say  to  them,  "  Inasmuch  as  ye  have 
done  it  unto  one  of  the  least  of  these  my  brethren, 
ye  have  done  it  unto  me." 

Consider,  too,  the  glorious  results  which  will  follow 
from  this  expansion  of  Christian  charity.  Society  will 
be  purified  and  elevated ;  giant  evils,  which  have  so 
long  thwarted  human  progress,  overthrown ;  the  strong- 
holds of  sin  captured  and  destroyed  by  the  might  of 
truth,  and  the  "new  earth,  wherein  dwelleth  righteous- 
ness," so  long  foretold  by  patriarch,  prophet,  and  apos- 
tle, become  a  welcome  and  enduring  reality. 

And  they  who  have  wrought  this  good  work,  as,  one 
after  another,  they  lay  down  the  garments  of  their 
earthly  toil  to  assume  the  white  robes  of  the  redeemed, 
shall  find,  as  did  Enoch  of  old,  that  for  those  who  walk 
with  God,  death  has  laid  aside  his  terrors,  and  they 
shall  be  translated  peacefully  and  joyfully  to  the  man- 
sions of  their  heavenly  inheritance,  while  waiting  choirs 
of  angels  shall  hail  their  advent  to  the  transcendent 
glories  of  the  City  of  God  above. 

THE    END. 


.1 


X 


y 


